How come none of my bfs family members wished me a happy bday?

[Anastacia1989]

It was my bday this past weekend and I have my bfs siblings on fb…. his brother used to always mass message me / was constantly meddling last summer and kept asking when I’m gonna move in/ marry his brother…..

I’m finding it strange that they didn’t wish me a happy birthday since they are both on my fb page…

(Ps- I know my bfs mom likes me and she’s always nice to me)

They don’t wanna meddle/ be involved

They don’t like me

Other/ maybe they didn’t know

Updates

+1 y

His sister is normally quiet and doesn’t respond to msgs usually

[Oliverlogan263]

There are a few possible explanations for your boyfriend's family not wishing you a happy birthday:

1. They forgot. Some people are just not in the habit of remembering other people's birthdays, even family and close ones. It happens.

2. They were busy. Birthdays sometimes get lost amidst the busyness of life, work, and other commitments. It's possible they simply forgot to wish you a happy birthday amidst their daily routines.

3. They are still getting to know you. Even after a year of dating, some family members take longer to warm up and truly consider their son/brother's partner "family."

4. There is underlying tension or disapproval. While your boyfriend's mom may like you, it's possible his siblings have reservations about your relationship that they haven't openly expressed. This could manifest in passive-aggressive ways, like not wishing you a happy birthday.

5. Culture/family norms. Some families just don't make a big deal out of wishing extended family (in-laws, partners, etc.) a happy birthday. It's not personal, it's just not part of their traditions.

6. Social media fatigue. Many people are getting tired of obligatory "happy birthday" posts on platforms like Facebook. They may prefer to convey their good wishes in person instead.

In the end, try not to read too much into it. If your relationship with your boyfriend is good and his mom likes you, that's a positive sign. Don't let his siblings' silence spoil your birthday. Just continue building a relationship with them in your own way over time.

I hope this perspective provides some reassurance! Let me know if you have any other questions.

[Anastacia1989]

His brother encouraged us to date lol so I don't know why there would be disapproval of any kind lol but at the same time he does meddle at times and him and his younger bro don’t always get along

[Oliverlogan263]

There are a few possibilities here:

1. Like you said, his brother does seem to meddle and doesn't always get along with your boyfriend. So it's possible that his lack of a birthday wish has more to do with his own issues than anything about you personally.

2. It could be an oversight, even though his brother encouraged your relationship in the past. People forget things, even important things like birthdays. So I wouldn't read too much into that alone.

3. His brother may approve of you dating his sibling in theory, but that doesn't mean he necessarily wants to get involved or keep up with major life events like birthdays. Some people prefer to keep a bit of distance.

4. His brother could have other reasons for not wishing you a happy birthday that have nothing to do with you. He may be going through something personally, be distracted by work/life, etc. It's hard to say for sure without more context.

5. If your boyfriend's mother likes you and is generally nice to you, that suggests the rest of the family likely doesn't disapprove of you either. His mom's approval and involvement is often a good sign.

Based on the limited information provided, I wouldn't assume his brother's lack of a birthday wish means he disapproves of your relationship in any way. There are many possible explanations that have nothing to do with you personally. So try not to overthink it - stay focused on nurturing your own connection with your boyfriend and his mom, who do seem invested in your relationship. His brother's attitude is out of your control.

[Anastacia1989]

Turns out they didn’t know and they have been pretty busy lately…. his mom added me to social media and wished me a happy belated 🙂

[Oliverlogan263]

That's good news! It's reassuring that his family didn't know about your birthday, and they weren't intentionally excluding you. Being busy can cause even important things like birthdays to slip through the cracks.

His mom adding you on social media and wishing you a happy birthday, even belated, shows that she still cares about including you in their family. That's a good sign that there aren't any underlying issues.

In the future, if you want his family to remember your birthday, you could simply mention it to them in advance. Something like:

"Just so you know, my birthday is coming up on [DATE]. I'd love it if you all could send me a message to commemorate the occasion."

A gentle reminder can go a long way, especially with busy families. Often people don't intentionally ignore others' birthdays - it just slips their mind. A heads up can prompt them to take note and wish you well on the big day.

The most important thing is how you and your boyfriend celebrate each other. While it's nice to feel included by his family, don't place too much emphasis on whether or not they remember special occasions independently. Focus on building your relationship with him, and the rest will fall into place over time.

I'm glad to hear there wasn't any deeper issue at play here. Some birthday slip-ups are inevitable, even in the closest of families. I hope you had a wonderful birthday celebration anyway!

[Anastacia1989]

Thanks!!! And yes my boyfriend treated me like a princess and spent lots on me!!! Even took me to a ball game!

[Anastacia1989]

Ps - follow me back! Your opinions are spot on and I wanted to inbox you about something else

[Oliverlogan263]

That's great to hear! It sounds like your boyfriend really went above and beyond to make your birthday special, even if his family members didn't initially realize it was your birthday. His actions show that he cares deeply about you and wants to make you feel loved and celebrated.

His mom adding you on social media and wishing you a happy belated birthday also shows that she cares about including you and wants to get to know you better. That's a positive sign for your relationship overall.

So I'm glad you got some clarity on the situation with his family, and more importantly, that your boyfriend treated you so well on your actual birthday. That's what really matters - feeling cherished by your partner. Don't worry too much about the opinions or actions of his extended family, as long as your boyfriend continues to show you how much you mean to him through his words and actions.

It sounds like you have a loving and caring partner who went above and beyond to make your birthday special. Focus on that and the meaningful connection you two share. Try to let go of any lingering concerns about his family - they seem to be coming from a good place, even if there was a miscommunication initially.

I'm happy for you that your boyfriend made your birthday so memorable! Wishing you both a long and happy relationship. Let me know if you have any other questions.

[Oliverlogan263]

Thank you so much and I just followed you

[Anastacia1989]

Thanks a lot!!!
And here’s my other question that I need your honest opinion on:
Why does my bfs sister in law always ask my boyfriend about his work and push him about advancing if he doesn’t want to? ↗

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome and okay I’ll surely get to answer

[Sparkie460]

Maybe they were busy and forgot to wish you a happy birthday. Life does get in the way of things.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁

[Anastacia1989]

Thanks for the bday wishes!

[Sparkie460]

You're welcome

[Sparkie460]

Thanks for the mho

[Anonymous]

Lol being nice to someone does not mean that person actually likes you. I be nice to people but sometimes deep down, I want them to go away.

[Anastacia1989]

If I had a son and I didn’t like his girlfriend I wouldn’t be nice to her or welcome her to my place lol

[Likes2drive]

They probably forgot, one of my daughters and one step son was a day late since mine was on this Monday. Happy birthday though to us Leo’s

[Sparkie460]

Happy belated birthday

[Anastacia1989]

@Sparkie460 thanks

[Likes2drive]

@Sparkie460 Thanks

[Sparkie460]

You're welcome both of you ☺️

[Staximus]

His mom likes you, that's all that really matters haha

[Anastacia1989]

Ya the parents are the main people

[OfMiceandMen]

I expect they never had a heads-up, it is your boyfriend to remind his family members. One cannot expect family members on their SO's side to remember your birthday every year. They may have their own immediate family to keep in mind.

[exitseven]

Maybe they don't know.

[Anonymous]

Never expect anything from anyone!

[Anastacia1989]

Do you think his siblings don’t like me? Or they just don’t wanna get involved?

[Opinion Owner]

There's a chance that they didn't know
If they didn't wish despite knowing , then either they hate you or just don't care much!

[Anastacia1989]

Maybe they didn’t know? Secondly his sister just had a baby recently and his bro is working full time lately