I feel like im on a slippery slope to an affair at work. NOTHING has happened but we flirt and he has started checking in on me via text.. does that mean he is looking for an affair?
If you have had this experence.. please tell me how it started and ended! So it stops me now.
Thank you
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The part of you that is seriously entertaining this is the scary part. Like you want someone to tell you “it’s okay” and “follow your heart”. You are hoping someone will justify it.
I believe in free will. Nobody is going to tell you yes or no. You are adult and can make adult decisions. But you are accountable for your decisions. Nobody is going to seriously respect you for making bad decisions.
I find that woman post these questions more often then men. They pretty much have their mind up they want to do something shitty but they are looking for someone to comfort them for making the wrong decision. No you are accountable to your decisions just like anyone else.
Guys make lots of bad decisions. I know I have. But we also know the fall out is our cross to bear. We can’t expect someone to come tell us that it’s “okay” just to make us “feel better”. No. Rather we are expected to take ownership of our wrongs. Do what we can to make amends vs. looking for someone to tell us “it’s okay”.
Think about the where this decision can lead. The negative fall out that will come from it. It’s not worth it.
I can relate! I met a guy at work, he wouldn't stop staring at me. And he's always approaching me, saying hi, initiating conversations. Then we eventually became friends. We were both in relationships then. But he keeps messaging me in chat, and always approaching me at work. He even asked me out for coffee or movie date. As I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend, I rejected those invites. But, we kept flirting with each other. We enjoyed each other's company. He also became a friend, he helped me with work and gave some good advices. And then one day, he married his girlfriend, migrated to another country, and we lost contact.
However, after 1 year or so, he messaged me in chat out of nowhere. I was surprised. He was asking me how I was, and we catched up, shared stories, like friends. Then, he started flirting with me again. And before I know it, we're messaging each other almost everyday, flirting and all. We confessed each other's feelings, that we liked each other. And he wanted an affair, coz obviously he's bored.
I could feel myself falling for him. He's already married, I know. So I told him we should stop talking anymore. He asked me why, I couldn't give him the exact reason. So he was embarrassed or mad, he blocked me, and we never talked again.
Sometimes, I miss him. It felt like I lost a friend. But I know I did the right thing.
Migrated to another country? Like a bird?
I don't know how he can be mad at you, when he is the one who si married and still initiates contact with a woman he flirts with outside of his relationship. Not fond of 2 people inside relationships flirting with each other but at least you did the right thing at the end. If he was flirting with you while with his wife, he ´probably wouldve flirted with other women if you 2 came together.
@cuteangelprincess Right? He became mad at me, and then he blocked me. Like, what's up with that? Haha
Say he leaves his significant other or wife for you, woo rah to you, but eventually you’ll get paranoid because if he could be a slime ball to someone he was exclusive with, then you’re gonna think he’ll be a slimeball to you. Thinks can end badly because he may still love the other woman but just wanna do the deed with you for validation or excitement or whatever. It may be temporarily and someone may get hurt
Maybe she’s cheating on him and wants to get even. Anyways, any of these scenarios I’m placing myself out with more advice because, well, don’t be a fucking home breaker.
Peace’ing* myself out*
Toxic bullshit
Oh yeah and don’t date your coworkers. I have no positive outcomes in that department other than opening myself up to new job opportunities and maybe losing one I’d like to work at in the long run
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23Opinion
We had looked at each other a lot during meetings, and one day after a meeting she whispered in my ear "I'd like to lick your ass and suck you off". Wow - I nearly fell over. I had NO idea she was up for anything like this. She was this tall, thin Latina from Brazil with these great blue eyes.
A week later, she called me and said "my computer is acting wonky - can you come over after work and look at it?" I was NOT the IT guy but I went anyway. I knocked, and she was alone in her mostly dark office. I walked over to the computer to continue the charade, and she came up behind me and put her arms around my waist, and said "I fixed the computer and I need you to fix me please." We wound up fucking on her couch most of the night. It was terrific.
I had a sometimes on / mostly-off girlfriend at the time and she had a girlfriend she claimed didn't care. I was 23 years old, freshly new as a first year intern, and she was 27 and the agency director.
For a year, we fucked every chance we got, and there were many. She loved rimming and sucking my cock and fucking of course. At the end of the year I got time off and went to Europe, and she was back with her girlfriend when I returned. We stayed friends but that died out after a while.
Please don't.
If nothing has happened then slam in the brakes.
Be polite, be professional, do your job.
Don't date at work, have romance at work, etc. It never ends well for your mind and heart and usually ends terribly for your job and the workplace.
Honestly i feel like my mind isn't working correctly and i feel so blind. Do you think an affair is where its heading? I mean, its odd for him to message me non work related things outside of working hours isn't it? The messages are very innocent by the way
Ehhhh. Right now it could go both ways. But, the problem is that it could go the way of you and he starting a relationship.
That's bad.
Don't do it.
There's no justifying here. There's no way to make this rosy.
Just stop. Be professional.
Tell the gentleman you appreciate his concern but unless the texts are work, don't text you. Same if it's your boss.
He actualy went away for a week with his family and messaged me something everday. he's off for another 2 weeks from Monday so i suppose if he doesn't message me, he's actualy not interested and its maybe in my mind.
@EmmaMary he's away for 2 weeks now so if he messages me again. I think i will because it will be too obvious at that point
@EmmaMary would i be crazy to think he's just being very friendly?
Don't do it, unless you don't mind quitting your job or maybe forcing him to quit. Not to mention the family issues. I started dating a married woman at my job. I was 27, she was 24 and married for 2 years. It started with her making obvious comments to let me know she was attracted to me. After a while she would actually call me "her work husband" and called me "honey" instead of my name. I didn't think anything of it, I just figured she was young and liked to innocently flirt. Until we both went to a company banquet. Her husband was deer hunting, so she went alone. We ended up hooking up that night and several after that. Long story short, I quit my job because it got so messy. 7 years at a job and company I loved working for and saw myself retiring from, thrown to hell because of a patch of hair.
Its little things. Started out with little office flirts. Jokes. Then lunch walks. Lunch dates. Kept telling myself we were just friends. Even my wife met and spent time with her, so the lines got blurry. Gift exchanges, i think thats where I started to feel feelings for her. I became a major emotional presence in her life. It was no longer flirting, it was hugging, holding, comforting her when she cried. By the time it ended we were looking for time alone together, i had keys to her house... i finally knew it wasn't a friendship.
I ended it. Lets say, at work, it turns ugly. She reported our breakup and asked for immediate transfer to another department. She spiraled into depression and eventually quit her job of 15 years. I was left with a marriage to repair and a huge emotional void.
My advice? Dont do it.
Never had any affairs in my life.
As in your situation, you say you both flirt and he has started checking on you so that may possibly indicate he is interested in you in some way. Affair yes.
Well what you need to do is to make it clear that you are not interested in him in any way. You can do that verbally or by keeping your boundaries with him physical and even while speaking.
Are you unhappy with your marriage and are OK with it ending? That is a real question, not some sort of judgement. If you are happy with your marriage ending, then get to know the person at work better, then ask for a divorce before you cheat - because why not?
If you just want something on the side (again no judgement) just be aware that there is a good chance that at some point it will blow up and end your marriage.
lol you'll lose everything... your home, money, your husband, your kids (if any) will be so disappointed in you and it'll change their path in life whether you think so or not. this is if you're married or in a relationship. if you're not, then you're a homewrecker and ruining some other family's dynamic. and that's not cute.
also, never mix work and relationships together. bad news.
If you are not intrested in him, then just tell him that! If you keep it vague then he might misinterpret the situation.
I think you won't tell him that, because you are also intrested in him. And you like that attention he is giving you, but at the same time you feel guilt, but you can't help yourself... :)
Kind of feel he's the one being vague sometimes which is why im confused. Maybe he's not interested in an actual affair and perhaps just likes the attention. Do guys do that and actually have no follow through?
I’ve learned to put boundaries up with my co-workers. You don’t want the lines blurred. If I were you, I wouldn’t read into this. Just be friendly and professional with your coworkers. At the end of the day, you’re there to do your job and that’s it.
Nothing has happened yet, you have the power to stop it now. Just say you need to maintain a strictly professional relationship, and follow through with it.
Have some respect and break up with your partner so he can find someone with human value. The fact that people like you are alive disgust me...
@spartan55 glad you agree! 👍🏻 we need more humans with basic value
@spartan55 yup! These people are disgusting.. like a human virus. Absolutly no reason for people like these to be alive.
I would never do something like this.. The intressting thing is people dont think its that bad. But if she said she loves molesting kids then people would react. (Rightfully so but both are bad)
Cheat. Who cares. Men are cheaters most of the time. I bet your man is cheating anyway. I sleep with married men 🤣
Get your kicks while you can. If you don’t you’re gonna feel like you missed out
Having an affair at work is probably a REALLY bad idea.
Could you maybe stop flirting? Could you maybe ask him not to text you?
Just curious, what's the appeal of this guy? Is he better looking than your husband, or more charming, or what?
My husband is much better looking and we have more in common so i dont understand my strong attraction to this man, its just magnetic.
Are you just like bored of your husband? You want to try something new? And this guy happens to be available?
I think its just the excitement of finding out if he likes me or not. If i knew for sure either way, i think i would back off. Sometimes its undeniable but others times i quesion what he actualy wants from me.
So you don't actually want to have sex with him, but you want him to want to have sex with you?
If you knew he was thinking about you every night during his... umm... "alone time"... would that be enough? Would that be all you want?
I supose I've got addicted to the feeling that someone might desire me and the not knowing is feeding my interest. This guy is actualy my boss and it just doesn't feel like a normal boss employee relationship (he flirts, asks personal quesions, checks in on me when he's away from the office etc) but on the otherhand he always talks about his wife in such a possitive way, im so confused! What do you think his intentions are, is he just being friendly?
Just curious, how old are you? How old is he?
Do you think maybe he talks about his wife because he feels guilty? Like he wants to have sex with you, but he wishes he didn't?
Would that make it even better? like he can't quite control himself around you?
Do you want him to be thinking about you when he's with his wife?
Im 32 he is 37. both been with our partners 10 plus years. I would say he mentions her more than a normal amount (he asked me to go for a walk at lunch and still mentioned something random about her haha) its just another thing i find odd about him... it could mean he's subtly telling me to back off but then he keeps complimenting me on my appearance on the same day! Its very hot and cold
No way do I want to come between him and his wife.
I want him to either make a move or tell me to get lost. But he's not doing either.
You can message me about this if you want.
If there was an app on your phone that told you every time this guy had a sexual thought about you, and gave out totals, like how many sexual thoughts he had about you in the past hour, past week, or whatever... would you get the app?
Do you ever have sexual thoughts about him? Or do you just like being wanted?
As for what his intentions are... I mean, I think there's an angel on one of his shoulders telling him to leave you alone, and a devil on his other shoulder telling him to shut the door to his office and have sex with you right on his desk.
I think every time he sees you he struggles with himself.
No affairs that start at work end "well."
All you need to do stop this in it's tracks is to not feed into the flirting.
Look at you, acting like you have no control over your actions.
Have an affair and ruin your marriage like the ho you are. What a joke
Kinda what I was thinking. How do you stop flirting? Simple. Don’t do it. She’s acting like it gravity or some other thing impossible to not be subject to.
It never happened to me. You should rethink this. If your husband finds oit it will be bad.
If you feel it in your gut, put an end to it before it starts. You don't want to be the "other woman". It is against the bible, remember that
What you need to do is cease all communication. Don't say ANYTHING you don't need to talk outside of work so don't. Don't be a piece of shit
Never had this experience. Easy enough to stop it. Simply don’t do it anymore.
Just realize that relationships require times when you are apart. Work relationships make this impossible.
If your moral don’t stop you because you know it’s wrong, at least be honest with your partner.
By trying to get affirmation on a social media platform.
Stop speaking to him and block him on all forms of contact?
You're 30-35 years old. Get a life , some therapy and grow up. You have serious issues.
Click to the bait! Dammit I should've known better :(
He became my first serious relationship
My soulmate, my love
I love him a lot
I have never had an affair at work.
We made eye to eye contact and we wanted to fuck
looks like he ready to get in you pants
Which of u is married?
Both!
Co workers... bad idea
Both will be fired
Have fun
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