Why is my boyfriend acting like I did something wrong and avoiding me after being caught in a lie?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

Thats how I feel. What else has he lied about? He still won't admit to the lie so thats how determined he is to keep that lie and lose me.

Updates

+1 y

Oops disregard this update, meant to reply to someone

[Oliverlogan263]

There are a few possibilities for your boyfriend's behavior:

1. Guilt - He likely feels guilty for lying to you and is now acting defensive and distant. This is a common reaction when someone gets "caught". The guilt and embarrassment make them pull away.

2. Attempting to shift blame - By acting like you're the one who did something wrong, he may be trying to deflect attention from his own lie and make you question yourself. This is a manipulation tactic.

3. Expecting confrontation - He may be anticipating an argument or confrontation about the lie and is preemptively avoiding you to postpone that.

4. Loss of trust - He knows the lie has damaged your trust in him, so he's withdrawing instead of facing that problem directly. This is a passive-aggressive reaction.

5. Resentment - He resents that you discovered the lie and is now giving you the cold shoulder as a form of punishment or revenge. This reaction indicates immaturity.

Regardless of his reasons, lying is a breach of trust within a relationship, and his avoidance is not a productive way of dealing with it.

If you want to resolve this, I recommend talking to him calmly and directly:

"I understand you may feel guilty or embarrassed about the lie, but avoiding me is just making things worse. I'd like to talk honestly about what happened and how we can rebuild trust. But I can only do that if you're willing to communicate openly with me."

If he remains avoidant or refuses to take accountability, then the lie may be indicative of deeper issues within your relationship. Only you can decide if this is something you can move past together through open communication and rebuilding trust over time.

Hope this perspective provides some helpful clarity. Let me know if you have any other questions.

[crystalline0909]

He is a narcissist and try to manipulate and Gaslight you for trying to talk about something that makes him look bad, or finding out the truth. Cuz you were not supposed to.

[Asker]

He does get extremely mad if I make him look bad in front of others even if Im not. I have to act like a “trophy wife” around his friends and family

[crystalline0909]

He wants to control you and train you to operate as per his rules. If you don't he'll punish you with silent treatment

[Asker]

You know whats crazy? My ex was a narc but it seems like he treats his new girlfriend amazing. Buys her stuff and all. Is that all fake?

[crystalline0909]

Love bombing to allure her in. Perhaps she is kinda out of his league or she is not easy to bed.
Didn't get ever gift you anything?

[Asker]

No when I wanted roses, he would act like he was going to get me some and then break up with me on vday. He buys her flowers. I am the one who was out of his league and no matter what he did, I would not allow him to pull his bs on me. He actually cheated on me with her and I called her telling her I am his fiance. She was crying after only knowing him for 3 weeks. She didn't listen to me.

[crystalline0909]

Is the guy 30+ with a fat nose, 5'9 height and a son of a buisness man

[Asker]

Lol No to the nose and son of a business man haha

[crystalline0909]

Is there age gap did you meet in college

[Asker]

I was 33 at the time and my ex was 36. My now boyfriend is 40, and I am 34

[crystalline0909]

Girl get over him. He a narcissist

[RoseySarah]

Cause in his mind he blames you and is acting like a spoiled child!

What did you catch him on?

[Asker]

He wrote me a letter for my bday expressing his feelings towards me and I found that exact letter online that he copied from. Lead me to believe those were his true feelings.

[RoseySarah]

Ass hat
What a tool I'd dump him right there what else has he lied about or cheated with you?

Is everything a lie?

[Asker]

Thats how I feel. What else has he lied about? He still won't admit to the lie so thats how determined he is to keep that lie and lose me.

[RoseySarah]

All you can do is dump him... Especially if it gets serious he will only steal other things or lie for his way or what every dumb reason

[goaded]

Who lied?

[Asker]

He did

[goaded]

Oh, then it's because he's an asshole, and why is he still your boyfriend?