Wandering eye while married?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have been married only two years, we have arguments constantly because we are both alphas and he always thinks it’s his way that matters only. He also is a hypocrite, he can do things but if I was too all hell would break loose. Lately I’ve been catching myself looking at other men or thinking what life would be like with them or what it would be like to have sex with them. My husband and I rarely have sex because he’s always too busy or tired and quite frankly when we do I can’t wait until it’s over. It’s just so blah. This have never been an issue before but it’s making me second guess everything, I feel completely wrong for having these thoughts but there’s a devil on my shoulder telling me to act on it. Advice?

Divorce Him

Act on those thoughts

[ohsheeT]

Okay so please don't take this wrong for me I hear the word alpha and I start laughing I know too many guys that use that word and call themselves alpha and they are nothing but egoistic show off men that are dumber than rocks they like that title because it means something to them that they cannot back

Now you have two people that want to be an alpha oh my God this has to be funny

If you were both true alphas you wouldn't be asking this question and you would be having the best orgasms that you ever had in your life because you guys would both figure it out right

So that's my smart-ass answer because of the alpha thing now my human answer is I felt every word that you just said and when you cannot become one with that person that you love and when you're just yearning for that touch you're craving for that touch that connection because you know what it feels like and that desire and how you get there with the passion in the central touch you have to stop and say I'm more human than anything

This is going to sound kind of rude but as I was reading that like I said I felt everything

and in seeing it and feeling it on the other side of my brain I was doing everything that I would do in that moment to melt you that's how deep I felt you but anyway I don't know I know exactly what you're saying I know what you're looking for and I feel bad for you because you guys forgot how to be human you forgot why you got together and somebody forgot that when you're making love or you're touching or you have a connection you make it about the other person

So why don't you do it this way you take charge tell him what you want seduce him when you're in bed roll over get on top of him place your hips just right and then slow slow motion just start barely sliding up until you hit the end of his blank put your arms your hands on his shoulders and I mean in slow slow motion barely touching slide yourself back until you get to the very end reposition and slide yourself forward looking deep into his eyes use your weight your wetness and your pressure of your vagina to seduce him lean forward as you lean forward now your clit will just slide on top of his cock all the way forward and all the way back Lean back so now your vagina straddles each side of his cock do it in slow slow motion if you're an outfit you can figure this stuff out everything that you said you're looking for in another man he has it right there in inside of him if you're both outfits you can figure this out and bring it out of each other I mean turn around and do it backwards reverse cowgirl so he can watch tease him sit up on your knees take a firm grip of it slowly struck it rub it all around your wetness let it slide in a little bit and lift up off of it again and just keep doing that but do it in slow slow motion Lean Forward again tell him to pull your hair so you have to lean forward so I can kiss your lips your neck your breasts if you want something make it happen it's just not up to the other person to make it happen because you're never going to get what you want then sometimes you have to take control and it kind of sounded like I don't know either one or in control really I guess but like I said you guys can figure it out slow show him how to touch take his hand and guide it to your breast and just do it in slow motion take his fingers and squeeze where you wanted to squeeze if he doesn't kiss your neck enough when you're on top of him lean forward and show him how to kiss your neck by doing it to him if you want to get naughty naughty start talking to him dirty and tell him what a dirty little s*** you are and how you want it I mean there are no rules except for making it about the other person until the wheels fall off

[Jersey2]

First, stop with all the alpha BS, both of you. Ugg. Secondly, why not discuss it, as in really heart to heart discuss it. Not my favorite thing at all mind you but it seems necessary. Try it with a fair but of wine, candles and soft music and just talk about this and everything else for an evening, a late evening. Turn the world off for a night or two. Do it at a rented beach house, mountain house, lake house… somewhere comfortable.

If that doesn’t work at all at least you tried. You are only 2 years in and likely without kids. If it can’t work, bail and move on. Divorcees though have a shit record when it comes to second or third marriages so make sure it really just him otherwise don’t be getting married again… and a again.

My with is sub which is the norm for women. It may even be part of the DNA as two seem to clash and have less likelihood of success in raising kids. You might need a more submissive husband (not talking sexually here). Anyway, both of you need to stow that shit when married. Work together as a team. I will say that I can be a overbearing and if I had the wrong wife it wouldn’t work out but I instinctively passed on one such woman while dating. Anyway, hash it out or move on but don’t take it lightly. Marriage takes work they say and they say it for a reason. Its worth it to me.

[Avicenna]

Well, it sounds like this is being driven by underlying problems in your marriage

[Asker]

I agree, we are in counseling but he just won’t try to learn from it.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Wandering eyes do happen & unfortunately it does happen to married couples as well especially in the first couple of years. As for you there is still hope & I think your husband & you have to sit down & have a heart to heart conversation & after your conversation you two have to take it to the bedroom.

Tell him to treat you like a princess & fuck you like a whore!

[Asker]

Thank you for this! We have done counseling but he doesn’t apply anything we learn at home he just goes to counseling to please me.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

It pleases me to hear you two are going to counseling & that is a such wonderful thing & hopefully it puts you two on a path to save your marriage & is a wake up call as well.

On one hand Happy Wife, Happy Life & tell your husband to tickle your taco more & on the other hand a blowjob a day keeps side chicks away so remember that.

[strateguy632]

i feel sorry about those big challenges. first try to improve intimacy on days off like weekends try new positions and add foreplay etc. if you feel love it is easier to compromise

[Asker]

I will definitely try this, thank you!

[OddBeMe]

Neither. Honeymoon phase over. It’s natural. Arguing and window shopping is natural.

But I would take stock of what’s good in the relationship and compare. If you still thinking of divorce then it’s probably the wisest.

[Asker]

Thank you!

[jahaims]

Wanting to cheat is as bad as cheating. If you guys can't communicate and get on the same page then divorce him

[LostandFound__x]

I think you need to save your marriage asap.

[Asker]

How do you suggest I do that? We have been in counseling and nothing changes. He just goes to go and doesn’t try to help. I feel like I’m getting tired of doing it all myself and I’m at my breaking point so that’s why all these thoughts are swarming in.

[LostandFound__x]

Oh gosh I’m so sorry you’re going through this tough time.

Was he like this before marriage? What has he said on this?

[Asker]

In the beginning he was and then he changed and started communicating, being more understanding and it was great Sex before and then about six months after marriage he is back to how he was originally. It’s like I’m riding a giant wave and of course I care about him but it’s not good for my mental health.

[LostandFound__x]

What did he say when you tried to speak to him about it?

[Asker]

He told me that I was over reacting and everything is fine.

[LostandFound__x]

You’re not overreacting everything you feel is valid. He should address how you’re feeling and if he doesn’t you could get a mediator (someone you trust) involved.

[billmunch]

Act on them

[azgınteke]

divorce him