Is it possible to change your partner? Would you try to change him/her?

Question

Suppose that you and your partner love each other so much but have different personalities, would you try to change him/her?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

YES ! I know everyone is saying no... But the people you are around are changing you. The books you read, the shows you watch over and over, the people in your life. That old saying you become your 5 closest friends isn't just a cute saying.  You can change your partner. I think nothing is wrong with changing. If you aren't changing in a relationship you are winging your relationship.  If you think you are just a fit for a lasting relationship you're ignorant.  Go try to live a life you haven't lived yet and tell me how long that last before you go back to your old ways. You may be a fit for each other but that doesn't make you a fit for a lasting relationship. I would do anything for people to understand that.  Would I try to change my partner? No because it's understood we both need to change.  I don't believe changing interest and that's not what you said anyway. You said personality. Many people believe they are their names or personality and the truth is they are not. Their personality is nothing but habit. They can choose a new one and make it habit and it will feel just as natural believe it or not.

serious · Accepted Answer

Well, I have always been and wish to single for life so I can answer this question hypothetically only.

If I come to know that the woman has too many contrasting qualities, personality aspects that are repelling to me then I will not start in the first place.

Before I start I would ensure that the woman is very gorgeous that includes the hairstyle that I find attractive and appealing (super short BOY CUT hair) toned physique and also the personality has to equally good which includes the woman being nice, kind, sweet, caring, mature and understanding. All are important because I have very little tolerance towards things

Unless it is like this there will be no start itself. However, if I come to know about the flaws later then I will never attempt to change the woman. Break up will be the only option for me and that is what will happen.

I think this answers your question.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

If you REALLY love someone, you love them enough to let them BE THEIR TRUE SELF….

Real love is finding that person that’s seen you at your worst and still thinks you’re the best…

I mean would you want someone to try to change you or would you want that person that loves you/accepts you for who you are, flaws and all🤷‍♀️

Ninania · Accepted Answer

What are you in love with exactly, if you don't like his personality? Love isn't being in love with your own idealised version of someone, it's loving them as they are, all their little quirks and flaws that make them who they are. You're not in love with him, if you want him to change.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

If I'd want a change I'd first take it up with them, because change comes from the inside and if they don't want to change for themselves (not for me, us or anyone else), then it's a lost cause.
All I can do is talk about it and offer my support.
If it's not happening then I will have to ask myself how important it is for me.

Change can be good and it's always good to be open to change and to think you can. In a way, change comes to us all, it's just a question of if we want to control how we change or if it will just happen upon us regardless.

Be careful in suggesting change in others, remember..
- You first need their respect to even listen to your point.
- Then you need to understand how they view the issue and if they see it as an issue.
- Do they think they can change or are they stuck in a fixed mindset?
- Then find out if they would like to change and if they would like support in that.

BadApple69 · Answer

Don’t confuse love with lust.
If you don’t like his personality then love will be very difficult. It’ll cause fights and a good relationship will mean you’ll have to try to change yourself to except him.
Changing someone else is nearly impossible. If you are talking about he wears muddy shoes into the house than this is something you can try to change. But personality is something that is developed from birth and is created from life long environmental conditions.
So it’s up to you to try and accept his personality flaws or find someone that is more compatible.

GreenLanternI0I · Answer

People don't change, UNLESS they 1. faced and experienced near death experience, Examples are almost a deadly car accident where they actually smelled and saw the other side of life, facing a person who was about to take their life, but gun got jammed etc...) 2. they are about to die, have some kind of deadly disease and they have only couple days to couple years to live. (in this situation it can go both ways, he can either start living like a Devil, or he will start living like an Angel) 3. They turn to Jesus Christ (Hardcore style and I'm not talking about him going to corrupt Churches, I'm talking about him/her diving in into KJV Bible and do absolutely everything what God told humans to do). Other than that, no, you cannot change a person, no matter what you do, or how much you love him/her.

Anonymous · Answer

You change people just by knowing them you're like 2 rocks that polish eachother. If it's a healthy, loving relationship you make eachother a better version of eachother by loving, giving encouragement, and being honest.

But to ACTIVELY try to change someone almost always end in disaster. First off you cannot make somebody something they're not. The best you can do is find something already inside them and work to bring it out. But they've still got to want that. Most people (understandably) take offense to obvious efforts to change them.

Losalt · Answer

If you don't love him or her as he or she is, why stay?
Yes, people *can* change of there's something genuinely wrong.
But that has to be something they want themselves.
I can't comment on the specific case of you two as I don't know the context.

EricSummer · Answer

I would never want to change her personality. I like that she is different from me. She is very creative, but she is not very organized. We complement each other there.

Of course, there are always some compromises and adjustments required when you are living together and both partners will change somewhat in the process, often for mutual benefit.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

I don't bother trying to. It's better to accept a person all in. This way you know what to expect and don't get upset when the things you try to change aren't working.

That said, can you get a partner to flush the toilet and clean up after themselves if they neglect to do so. Yeah I think you can change that kind of stuff lol. When it comes to inner self stuff I think that's harder and might suggest, might, that you're with the wrong person.

BasedBaeBecca · Answer

No, I don't think that is possible - I think you shouldn't try to make someone be the way you want them. I think if you want someone to change fundamentally, it is best if you move on from the relationship.

magiusX26 · Answer

if you think you need to. change them, then why are you with them? that screams you did not pick correctly for yourself or you are mentally derranged.

slatyb · Answer

You can ask them to change some behavior, but big changes are unlikely. That guy who is immature and simples isn't different going to get motivation because his partner is pregnant.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn’t want to change him because I fell in love with him. Not with whatever I’m trying to transform him into. He’s gonna be MISERABLE!!!

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I never tried to change my partner. I accepted him the way he was. He changed though… And not in a good way.

BCRanger10 · Answer

It's possible. People will change and grow in their relationships, but they shouldn't enter a relationship to change someone.

LazerBean · Answer

Of course it's possible, it's just not likely. Small changes are normal, but as far as changes in character? Not likely.

grega239 · Answer

So you want to change the person you fell in love with? Why nott just find the type of person youd love and not chamge them? What kind of logic is this

EmmaMary · Answer

Personally, hell would need to freeze over first.

exitseven · Answer

You cannot change anyone unless they themselves want to change

dudeinohio · Answer

No it is not  If you try, they will. become resentful. If you don't like them how they are, then find someone new

OddBeMe · Answer

Human behavior is the hardest to change. But loving couples have the most success I think, perhaps parenting more. But in that, I’d only say 15% of your behaviors. The rest is set in stone, whether you realize it or not.

AydenHazor · Answer

If you love the person for who they are, why would you try to change them into something they're not? If you're trying to change them, do you really actually love them?

Sabretooth · Answer

Depends on what they are. Are we talking about pushing for changes in regards to toxic things? Or, are we just trying to mold them to our will? Do we want to get them to stop using drugs? Or, do we want to make them completely subservient?

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, and you shouldn't try either.

Jazzy54 · Answer

Nope. You can’t change another person. He or she has to want to change.

Grovermint · Answer

No, change comes from that person. You can convince them, but it's ultimately their decision.

Kelly6 · Answer

why do you need to change your partner?  its mad

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't try to change them. That would mean we're incompatible.

SeaStorm1 · Answer

Nope can't change but only you can change yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

Not usually possible unless they had permanent amnesia and forgot who they were

Blueeyes81 · Answer

No that's pretty selfish.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

You can't change people's personalities.

JackCarter · Answer

NEVER!!

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No. Absolutely not.

EaterPeter · Answer

Impossible.

In_Trance · Answer

It's not

Emree00 · Answer

Nooo

azgınteke · Answer

never

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