I like you but lets take it slow and steady - green or red flag?

[Anonymous]

[DaveJord]

I am conflicted on this one, because I do not really want to say it's a green flag... I mean green flag would be that she is totally into the dating you and wants to proceed. But she is not really saying that, is she?

So, this does not have to be a Red Flag either, but it's definitely and a green flag. It it really comes down to your gut feeling on this.

- I have talked to women, that wanted to take it slow, because she was talking to 3 to 4 other guys and was buying time to sort it out.

- I have talked to women, that wanted to take it slow, because they needed more time to figure out if they really even want to be dating.

- I have talked to woman, that wanted to take it slow, because they have been hurt so many times that they just hesitant.

- I have talked to woman, that just want to take it slow, because they to ensure there is a genuine emotional bond with the man and they just do not want to rusk it all into straight commitment.

Now all these things may or may not be a Red Flag to you, but I would not say any of them are green flags.

I always say Red Flags, come in bunches, and one RED FLAG by itself is manageable, but they rarely if ever come one at a time. So, a woman wanting to take it slow is not a RED FLAG, by itself. And if you honestly do not see any other indications of other potential Red Flag, then I would proceed with caution. If and when other Flags start to pop up, then you will know if this is all a part of something bigger or not.

I would not say a woman wanting to take it slow is a Green or Red Flag, but it is definitely a Yellow Flag. It just all depends on what your need and wants are and if that aligns with your need and wants. It's fine for her to want to move slow, because that is what she wants. If that is not what you want, then its definite RED FLAG.

[_Maya_]

That is fine and certainly not a red flag. She confirms she likes you but wants to take it slow. There is absolutely nothing wrong and not a bad sign at all. She just wants to take her time to get to know you and not rush into things. That is good for both of you. The more time you take to really get to know someone the more you will know if it is a good match or not. No point in rushing things. Good luck!

[Asker]

Thanks

I need to know exactly how long should you wait as a guy - because at the end of the day if she is not sure and the guy is just trying and trying and sees there is no changes then it makes no sense to stick around if she doesn't want the same. But still want to know your thoughts - so would be better to hear from a girl point of view.

[_Maya_]

There is no possible way for me to give you an exact time. I don't know the girl. Even if I did know her things can change to to fluctuating circumstances. The exact time is how long you are willing to wait and take things slow. Only you can put a clock on that.

[Asker]

Its goona be 1 year soon - I have been in 3 relationships so far and I have given my 200% in all of them and it did not work out. But my heart is scared of losing this one too! I don't know if I will be able to manage another breakup

[DaveJord]

A year!!! Ohhh... no bro!!! Your friend zoned. When woman says take it slow, at first we are taking weeks, or maybe month tops. You're getting played hommie.

When a woman says she wants to take it slow, it's kind like her saying I want to dictate the pace of this relationship. Which is fine as a man to totally respect... as long as there are progressive and dilerbate actions taking place I order to advance the relationship. So like I said dating for few weeks or month or two... I mean that reasonable enough as long as things are continously progressing in positive ways.

But a year!!! OMG!! 😲 😱

[Asker]

@DaveJord we have a 10 year age gap and she has a son that's the reason.

[DaveJord]

Dude the reasons don't even matter at that point bro, this woman is literally offering you nothing. She is bringing nothing to the table bro.

If you want to attract high value women, you got to present yourself and act like a high value man. You're giving this woman everything she wants for free. There's no incentive for her to move forward with you, she already has everything she wants from you.

A man giving away friendship to a woman, without sex or a real life relationship, is like a woman giving away sex without a real life friendship or relationship. Both situations you all just giving it away for free. And that's called being played. Sorry brother that's a little piece of tough love for you, but you better grab on to it and listen to what I just said. Just think about it.

[DaveJord]

Cuz you're playing the role of the simp, and want it all falls apart you'll be on the pathway to incel.

[Asker]

@_maya_
do you agree with him?

[_Maya_]

No because how the fuck does he know what she is bringing to the table? You literally did not give any indication of who she is as a person. However one year is way too long to "take things slow". That part is bs on her. Though it is somewhat understandable (a certain period, not a year) when there is a child involved. She doesn't want to introduce someone into his life to see him walk away. That keeps happening and the child is always left wondering why these men are in and out of his and mom's life. So she plays it cautious. A year is too much though.

[DaveJord]

@_maya_ he's been talking to her for a year... if she had anything to bring to table she would of brought it. She could have a shit ton to bring to the table, but she's not and she hasn't.

Asker other than the opening line... I 100% agree with what @_maya_ said. We are actually saying the same thing.

When come to what she has to offer or bring to the table... after a year she has NOTHING to offer, because she hasn't and isn't even taking a seat at the table. She's stringing you a long. Move on my man.

[DaveJord]

I have dated woman for over 6 months without ever meeting her children for all the reasons @_maya_ laid out. I made it very clear early on that I don't want anything to do with kids, until we both are confident and secure we want to take it to that level. But it takes time first upfront to figure that out together.

But if she's not really dating you... then she's using you as a chat buddy. That's it.

[Asker]

@DaveJord she told me she loves me and we meet every weekend, She said she is serious about me and wants us to take it slow because she tells me I am younger then her - What i have for her might just be infatuation. So unless she knows its not that she wants us to take it slow for that reason. She shares everything with me from day 1 and how her day has been. She does not meet any guys since we have started dating.

[Asker]

Also its 8 months and not a year to be precise!

[sheikalana]

I see it as a green flag. Rushing things is never a good idea.