Just Friends or holding onto hope?

[Anonymous]

Together 3 years, child together. Recently found out he confides to his ex about our relationship and he messages her saying she’s on his mind. Says she’s just a friend.. . is this the truth or is he holding onto hope for reconnection? She broke up with him. I didn’t even know they spoke, when I found out I said I was uncomfortable with it and he said “idk what to tell you.” I’m not one to be insecure but he never even told me they spoke. I don't know what to think and I’m 9 months post partum.

[_Maya_]

Yeah he really shouldn't be doing that with exes when you have young kids. There is no reason for it. While I totally agree he should be able to have female friends and talk to who he wants it isn't a great idea bringing past relationships into this one. The fact he says she is on his mind worries me. Like I don't say that to friends... ever. Have you ever said that to someone that was just a friend? I bet not.

[Asker]

Nope never have said that to a friend unless I knew they were going through something like depression/loss etc. His excuse was he’s a mechanic so everyone is on his mind. He doesn’t even tell me that and hasn’t since we were dating. Ugh I should of went with my gut and left. It’s been over a month now but it’s been ruminating for me.

[_Maya_]

I can see why. I think I would be the same if I was in your shoes. I don't buy that "I'm a mechanic so everyone is on his mind" bs. Anyone can say that and have it make sense. I am a teacher and everyone is on my mind. I am a doctor and everyone is on my mind. I am a firefighter and everyone is on my mind. BS...

[Asker]

I didn’t either and ended the conversation when he tried to gaslight me. Says he loves me, is in love with me, but we’ve been physically intimate 2x since the conception of our son. I’m an idiot. There were so many signs like him accusing me of cheating, loss of physical intimacy, loss of our emotional connection, etc. absolutely gut wrenching. Thanks for your opinion Maya!

[_Maya_]

You are so welcome and I hope things get better for ya! 💜

[Nikki1989]

He is crossing a line that should never be crossed. Being friends with an ex is fine, but he shouldn't be talking about personal details.

[strateguy632]

he isn't trying to reconnect

[In_Trance]

Move on