What is my friend doing?

[Anonymous]

My friend started dating this guy long distance about a year and a half ago. She has changed dramatically while dating him. She has chased him to Florida and Texas and will basically fly wherever he summons her to. He NEVER comes out here to where she lives to visit her. They have no pictures on social media together. They are intimate but he won’t sleep in bed next to her for the entire night, claims he can’t because of his “religion”. But he can have sex with her? She is convinced she is going to marry this doctor. She keeps making claims about how she is moving out there soon and they will be engaged soon. There have been several occasions where a ring could have been presented and it wasn’t. I’ve met this guy exactly once and that’s it. Here’s the thing, I am actually engaged and have been for several years. She decided to just tell me she’s moving by the end of the year and they will get married in March 2024. How could she know that if they aren’t engaged? She was also supposed to move in July. Never happened. How do I tell this girl she’s wasting her time? I can’t even talk to her anymore because whenever she contacts me it’s about these fantasies. I miss my friend and would like to just talk about regular things with her but it always goes back to how she’s marrying this guy and moving so I make an excuse to cut the conversation short. I feel bad doing that but I don’t want to abruptly tell her the entire thing is crazy and hurt her feelings. What would you do and what do you think?

[exitseven]

It does seem that she is wasting her time. You should find a way to tactfully tell her that this guy is never going to marry her. He sounds shady. Is he even a real doctor or does he have a PhD in English, ? Maybe if you can find out he is a fake you could use that as well

[Asker]

I feel like she is brainwashed by this guy. He is Egyptian and got his degree in Eqypt. He really is licensed and worked in a practice. The whole not spending the night sleeping next to her is strange to me. What religion doesn’t allow that but allows you to have sex? I don’t feel he has made any effort with her friends or family. She always goes there. He even got a dog with her back in December. My fiance said the guy probably did that so she would visit less. But it didn’t stop her, she flies there with the dog or boards the dog so she can go and visit him! I know if I say something to her she will be offended and she will completely defend this guy. It’s upsetting to me because we grew up together and were always great friends. I know if I open my mouth we will never speak again. I haven’t seen her in ages because she’s always chasing after him in another state. I kind of have removed myself physically from the situation. I guess maybe it’s the allure that he’s a doctor. She is actually a NP. She is successful herself.

[exitseven]

I would speak your mind. Yes, it could go badly but watching her make a mistake will be worse.

[Asker]

You’re right. Thank you for your honest opinion. I appreciate it.

[Asker]

He just proposed to her the other day. I am completely shocked. I had voiced my opinion to her and it did not go well. I wonder if what i said to her had anything to do with it.