Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?

[bongo]

Whenever we have an argument she cannot control herself and hits me... I mean this is not her first time. How should I react her afterwards? Should I forgive her?

[simon]

No, it is not normal for anyone in a relationship to engage in physical violence, regardless of their gender... Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and communication. Physical violence, such as hitting, is a clear violation of these principles and is never an acceptable way to resolve conflicts or express frustration.

If your girlfriend is hitting you, it is essential to address this issue immediately. Physical abuse is harmful, both emotionally and physically, and can have long-lasting consequences on your well-being. It is crucial to prioritize your safety and seek help if you find yourself in an abusive relationship. You may consider my tips below:

Reach out to friends, family members, or a therapist who can provide support and guidance.

If you feel safe doing so, have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about the impact of her actions and express your boundaries.

Consider contacting a therapist, counselor, or a domestic violence hotline for advice and assistance in addressing the issue.

Remember, no one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, and there are resources available to help you navigate this difficult situation. Your well-being should always be a top priority.

[Subwayco]

My wife started getting physical after 33 years of marriage because I asked to see a picture of a girl I met at a family gathering 29 years ago. If she didn’t have one I told her I would look for one. She took this as a threat but for me it was just a simple request with no intention on my part to try and start a relationship and when I met this other woman we never kissed hugged or anything. Still she went nuts and I told her that everytime she attacked me for a nothing thing she was removing some of my love for her. It was her violent reaction that made me question her trust and love for me. I have always been faithful and never once had an affair or anything else outside our marriage. She seemed to understand but unpredictably attacked me again. It’s happened 9 times over a year. For the first time wondered why she didn’t trust me when I told her honestly I just wanted to remember what she looked liked. Can a thought about a women being attractive cause someone to scream yell and kick a whole in a door closed to avoid conflict and settle things down? I never questioned our love but when I told the truth she didn’t believe me and now I question why the person I love violated our trust. I have tried to not let this bother me but it makes me wonder about the 33 years together. Was I a sucker for telling the truth? I thought that my history of never hitting or attacking her in any way would be proof enough for her. Does anyone understand how that could make me feel? At the beginning off our marriage I wanted to have a child with her but she had children frim her first marriage and didn’t want to raise another. That I understood but this was soon followed by her telling me she didn’t care for sex with me at all but in all other ways she treated me like a king and I loved her in every other way so I accepted it. So no sex but a violent reaction to my asking for a picture? We do love each other but now I wonder if I should have slowed things down before we married, I would have lost a truly wonderful woman and maybe not found another. Now, I wonder if I gave up too much for love. I can’t get it out of my mind now and I’m going to seek counseling for myself. Is this crazy or what?

[AviatorTom]

Hitting someone is never normal. She has anger issues and has difficulty controlling herself when she's angry. She needs help.

Immediately after she hits you, do nothing but calmly walk away from her. Do not say anything or instigate anything that might make her more angry. After she's calmed down, talk with her and see if she would be willing to speak with a counselor or psychiatrist. She probably knows that hitting is wrong but she needs help to stop doing it. Support her and get her the help she needs.

[Strong_Warrior]

You are such a beta. Help her, support her? Wtf is wrong with you? He should hit back!

[AviatorTom]

@Strong_Warrior All hitting back does is escalate into a full-blown physical fight. Calmly step away and defuse the situation.

[Ozanne]

Women giving a painless, harmless jab or slap to their SO is common. I'm not saying it's right, but it's common. It stems from playful behaviour between two people. It happens between siblings from childhood. It carries on into school where children physically play together. In relationships, men too, can be lightly physical with their women in fun, but if anything turns into anger and the physical contact is meant to hurt--man or woman--that's a problem.

If your girlfriend is punching you in the head with a closed-fist, tell her to knock it off, and make it very clear you're not tolerating the behaviour. Set your limits or make arrangements to make a change in your life. If the hitting is relatively harmless but it's continuous and annoying like a bad habit, that's still not a fun place to be, and let her know it's a bad habit that she needs to knock off if it's bothering you this much.

I guess only you know what sort of "hitting" this is, and if you're asking if it's normal, well--yes and no, depending on what we're talking about here. Outright abuse is not normal and shouldn't be tolerated.

[AnusNdaPainus]

She shouldn’t be hitting him at all

[Ozanne]

@AnusNdaPainus Again. What is hitting?--the Asker is not making this clear. So many snowflakes lump any sort of physical touching that isn't affection and call it hitting when it's not. Some playful physical motion that doesn't hurt while having fun shouldn't be treated the same as a close-fisted punch.

[AnusNdaPainus]

He does not need to define any further than “ Hitting”
It’s not a subjective word with multiple meanings in this context he clearly means she hits him
If I hit a woman and black her eye and just say “ oh i was just being playful” does that make it okay?
No clearly he doesn’t want to be hit by her so she shouldn’t hit him

You’re talking about him not being clear yet nowhere in this post did he say anything about playful hitting

Just say you’re ok with women abusing men🙄

[Strong_Warrior]

I dont think that a girl is hitting a man is normal. Why do you tolerate it? Are u a coward beta or something?

[AnusNdaPainus]

@Strong_Warrior exactly

[sheenagwapa]

i have never slap my wx not even in intense anger but i have accidentally hurt his head with the zipper of his jacket when i yeah i hit the jacket on his head but my intention is not to hit hard but the zipper just bulleyw his head


he made me wait for many hours. he texted he is coming but he is probably just chatting with his co-workers. i had a friend who is waiting for his boyfriend and i told her i have to leave her because my boyfriend is on the way. it's dark already so i don't like leaving her but her boyfriend arrive and my boyfriend hasn't and wordt i have to wait for more hours. so when he finally came i just suddenly grab his jacket and hit his head softly but the zipper directly hit his head so it kinda bleed a little. a little red mark but i felt terrible. i have pushed him too and throw his stuff. i love throwing stuff when i get mad but not once i throw it to him. actually i have not remember throwing stuff when i'm mad at him. my voice is loud but not too loud. we rarely quarrel for the many years we've been together. we are pretty chill overall.

[ohsheeT]

Did you need to walk away

And if she really cares after you walk away she will maybe try to change otherwise we both know it's going to happen she's going to hit you something's going to happen you're going to get blamed for it and you're the ones going to go to jail you're the one that's going to get in trouble don't allow it no more you need to walk away now

She's going to treat you the way you allow her to treat you so don't take it no more tell her she has to go that's not love that's not a relationship that's abuse and it's not right don't put up with it

To answer your question why don't you turn it around what do you think she would be doing to you if you were hitting her you need to walk away before you get in big trouble cuz that's what's going to happen

[OlderAndWiser]

So she is your girlfriend? Your profile says "Just broke up."

[xKayTea]

No, it is never okay for anyone to hit you. Whether it be a parent, stranger, friend or partner. Regardless of gender too.

Technically even if it's not 'hard hitting', she is still assaulting you. I would confront her, tell her to stop and say if it happens again you're leaving and/or calling the police.

Because it is physical abuse, a big misconception is that you must be bruised, cut up, punched very hard etc for it to be considered physical abuse/domestic violence, but this is untrue.

Do not stay with a fully grown adult who hits things when they are mad, and cannot control their emotions, so they take it out like a child. Leave.

[Hawkes_Lady]

No, no, no! It is not okay at any time for anyone to hit another person in anger. That is never okay, never acceptable... that is called abuse.

I suggest that you wait until she is calm and then ask her to sit down and tell her that hitting is never an acceptable way to deal with anger toward another person, that you will no longer allow her to abuse you, and that if it happens again, you will walk out of the relationship. You could suggest to her that she buy herself a punching bag so when she feels the anger building up she can hit that instead or maybe help her find a gym where she can work out her anger in a safe environment.

No one should ever allow an abuser to abuse them, not even in the name of love.

[patrick994]

A woman who beats you does not really love you, you should leave her and look for a less aggressive woman, at the first signs of violence it is better to leave, that way you avoid ending up in unpleasant situations, if you have any love for yourself, the best choice you can make is to leave her, violence is of the beasts, we human beings have elevated relationships to a higher level, we have reason that must prevail over instinct, violence can only be justified in self-defence and in cases where our life is in danger.

[mstbooblover]

When two people have a discussion, and words seem too short to express a disagreement, hitting is often following step, which is a sign of weakness, or wish to dominate in some way.

To answer your question: no, it's not normal, but sure, trying to understand why she hits you may reveal interesting. Vanity may be a cause if she can't stand you're right, or because she feels trapped by the way you talked. As always, the answer to your question can't be black or white and depends on circumstances.

[Andres77]

Boundaries. If roles were reversed you’d be in jail. Record her doing it. Put up hidden cameras. Check your state laws about recording and make sure you don’t get in trouble. That sucks bud. Sorry. I was so broken in my 2nd marriage that I allowed her to do that to me. It took me a while to crawl out of that pit. I was in a dark place. Start leaving the house. Don’t answer your phone. Stay overnight at a friends house and when you come back the next day tell her that if she ever hits you again that you’re leaving. That’s just a technique. It might be enough to shake her awake. It might make her hit you hit you again. Find a way to record it. If she ever bruises you, take pics. I went to work once with scratches on my face and had to make up a lie about how I had scratches. I was in a bad place. I hope you get help, bud

[Angelo75]

It's not normal. The sad part about it is that when a guy gets hit a lot, there are chances he'll grow used to the "being hit" part.
Problem is that he could get used to it and become less and less insecure or avoiding confrontations by just following... or even worse... he could start hitting back.
And when a man starts hitting, things get really bad cuz our punches hit way harder. (average speaking)
So you're the one whose gonna end up in trouble.

And you really don't want such a woman around your children.

Convince her to seek professional help.

[Fireguy17]

No, not at all any sort of physical or verbal abuse should not be tolerated at all no Metter how sorry she is.

You can suggest that she seeks help, give her an alternative that if it ever happens again you are gone.

I dated a woman that turned out to have a bad temper/screw loose and one night a kitchen knife went sailing past my head and through a window breaking the window.

I walked out the door right then.

So you need to ask yourself how much will you tolerate before either you have had enough, or it escalates into something even worse.

[Bilboes]

No form of abuse is okay no matter what your gender is. She is abusing you and needs to be called out on it. And whatever happens, do not let her play the victim card. So many men are victims of abuse and feel that they cannot come forward because they are men. It's BS and your feelings are valid. Please don't stay quiet.

[bolverk]

No, it is not normal, you say this is not her first time hitting you. You should consider ending the relationship as no one should be on the receiving end of any blows when they are in a relationship,
Whether you forgive her is up to you, but personally I'd withdraw from interacting with her and try not to be alone with her as sooner or later she'll start claiming that you're abusive, and if you do not have video evidence proving what actually happened, it'll be you who will end up being charged.

[marrk]

Is it like a playful light tap on your arm or a real hit? If it is a real hit, leave. This is unacceptable. No one deserves this. I’m surprised by how many people suggest giving her another chance. Abusers will only get worse. They may say “I’ll change” but if there is no consequence (like you leaving), they won’t have a reason. You deserve safety. There’s women out there who won’t hurt you and will love you too.

[OfMiceandMen]

I don't think I could be with someone that turns violent during an argument. I know some guys would say, ya but I'm tough and can endure it.

I'd be worried about my kids (future kids) seeing how their mother reacts in argument situations.

[strawberrybaby3]

Neither her or you should ever be putting hands on each other in a heated argument. Thats physical abuse. It’s totally different if you guys are playfully joking around but there’s a difference when she’s angry, and she’s putting her hands on you. I’d give her an ultimatum and say if she does this again, you are done with her and possibly even inform police. This is not something to joke about, and usually these types of people don’t stop or change, and if anything, this only gets worse.

[Puppystarfish23]

Sometimes I playfully hit my boyfriend but would NEVER hit him in a violent , aggressive way in a argument that's not how adults deal with that kind of thing.

It's not acceptable at all and you do not hit someone you love get out of that relationship and block all contacts from her ASAP

[Keyboardkat]

This is called abuse. The fact that the woman is doing it, rather than the guy,, doesn't make it acceptable. If you tolerate it, it will only escalate. Why does she think she has the right to hit you? Does she think she owns you, like a horse or a dog? You need to let her know that it's completely unacceptable and you will walk away the next time she does it. "Can't control herself?" One mark of being a mature adult is the ability to control one's self.

[GreenLanternI0I]

If she is hitting you, she is not respecting you as a man, she is placing her dominance over you, which makes you her Bit.. I say either dump her, because things will get even worse, because if you decide to have children with her, you will be treated like a dirty rag under garbage bag and therefore you won't get ANY respect from your children or your manwife.

[Vesuvius87]

No, it's not normal for anyone to hit others. Hitting your partner in anger is a complete lack of respect. If you plan on staying with her, tell her to seek help immediately and that next time it happens, it's not just a permanent break-up but you'll get her charged for assault.

[chrissykerdock]

if she's hitting you you better walk away because it will end up really bad... nothing good will come of this... unless you stop upsetting her and obey all her commands which isn't normal either... just think if you hit her you'd be in jail... maybe not in a democratic city.

[Pegases]

No, and she hits you because she deosnt respect you. And while it isn't ok for her to hit you, you not putting your foot down is the reason it happened to begin with. Respect yourself enough to walk away from women that don't respect or value you as a man. You don't owe a woman that deosnt value your well being anything. Plus if the shoes were reversed you'd be in jail. Walk away man, this is simp behaivior.