Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?

Question

Whenever we have an argument she cannot control herself and hits me... I mean this is not her first time. How should I react her afterwards? Should I forgive her?

Subwayco · Accepted Answer

My wife started getting physical after 33 years of marriage because I asked to see a picture of a girl I met at a family gathering 29 years ago. If she didn’t have one I told her I would look for one. She took this as a threat but for me it was just a simple request with no intention on my part to try and start a relationship and when I met this other woman we never kissed hugged or anything. Still she went nuts and I told her that everytime she attacked me for a nothing thing she was removing some of my love for her. It was her violent reaction that made me question her trust and love for me. I have always been faithful and never once had an affair or anything else outside our marriage. She seemed to understand but unpredictably attacked me again. It’s happened 9 times over a year. For the first time wondered why she didn’t trust me when I told her honestly I just wanted to remember what she looked liked. Can a thought about a women being attractive cause someone to scream yell and kick a whole in a door closed to avoid conflict and settle things down? I never questioned our love but when I told the truth she didn’t believe me and now I question why the person I love violated our trust. I have tried to not let this bother me but it makes me wonder about the 33 years together. Was I a sucker for telling the truth? I thought that my history of never hitting or attacking her in any way would be proof enough for her. Does anyone understand how that could make me feel? At the beginning off our marriage I wanted to have a child with her but she had children frim her first marriage and didn’t want to raise another. That I understood but this was soon followed by her telling me she didn’t care for sex with me at all but in all other ways she treated me like a king and I loved her in every other way so I accepted it. So no sex but a violent reaction to my asking for a picture? We do love each other but now I wonder if I should have slowed things down before we married, I would have lost a truly wonderful woman and maybe not found another. Now, I wonder if I gave up too much for love. I can’t get it out of my mind now and I’m going to seek counseling for myself. Is this crazy or what?

simon · Accepted Answer

No, it is not normal for anyone in a relationship to engage in physical violence, regardless of their gender... Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and communication. Physical violence, such as hitting, is a clear violation of these principles and is never an acceptable way to resolve conflicts or express frustration.

If your girlfriend is hitting you, it is essential to address this issue immediately. Physical abuse is harmful, both emotionally and physically, and can have long-lasting consequences on your well-being. It is crucial to prioritize your safety and seek help if you find yourself in an abusive relationship. You may consider my tips below:

Reach out to friends, family members, or a therapist who can provide support and guidance.

If you feel safe doing so, have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about the impact of her actions and express your boundaries.

Consider contacting a therapist, counselor, or a domestic violence hotline for advice and assistance in addressing the issue.

Remember, no one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, and there are resources available to help you navigate this difficult situation. Your well-being should always be a top priority.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

Hitting someone is never normal. She has anger issues and has difficulty controlling herself when she's angry. She needs help.

Immediately after she hits you, do nothing but calmly walk away from her. Do not say anything or instigate anything that might make her more angry. After she's calmed down, talk with her and see if she would be willing to speak with a counselor or psychiatrist. She probably knows that hitting is wrong but she needs help to stop doing it. Support her and get her the help she needs.

Ozanne · Accepted Answer

Women giving a painless, harmless jab or slap to their SO is common. I'm not saying it's right, but it's common. It stems from playful behaviour between two people. It happens between siblings from childhood. It carries on into school where children physically play together. In relationships, men too, can be lightly physical with their women in fun, but if anything turns into anger and the physical contact is meant to hurt--man or woman--that's a problem.

If your girlfriend is punching you in the head with a closed-fist, tell her to knock it off, and make it very clear you're not tolerating the behaviour. Set your limits or make arrangements to make a change in your life. If the hitting is relatively harmless but it's continuous and annoying like a bad habit, that's still not a fun place to be, and let her know it's a bad habit that she needs to knock off if it's bothering you this much.

I guess only you know what sort of "hitting" this is, and if you're asking if it's normal, well--yes and no, depending on what we're talking about here. Outright abuse is not normal and shouldn't be tolerated.

sheenagwapa · Accepted Answer

i have never slap my wx not even in intense anger but i have accidentally hurt his head with the zipper of his jacket when i yeah i hit the jacket on his head but my intention is not to hit hard but the zipper just bulleyw his head

he made me wait for many hours. he texted he is coming but he is probably just chatting with his co-workers. i had a friend who is waiting for his boyfriend and i told her i have to leave her because my boyfriend is on the way. it's dark already so i don't like leaving her but her boyfriend arrive and my boyfriend hasn't and wordt i have to wait for more hours. so when he finally came i just suddenly grab his jacket and hit his head softly but the zipper directly hit his head so it kinda bleed a little. a little red mark but i felt terrible. i have pushed him too and throw his stuff. i love throwing stuff when i get mad but not once i throw it to him. actually i have not remember throwing stuff when i'm mad at him. my voice is loud but not too loud. we rarely quarrel for the many years we've been together. we are pretty chill overall.

ohsheeT · Answer

Did you need to walk away

And if she really cares after you walk away she will maybe try to change otherwise we both know it's going to happen she's going to hit you something's going to happen you're going to get blamed for it and you're the ones going to go to jail you're the one that's going to get in trouble don't allow it no more you need to walk away now

She's going to treat you the way you allow her to treat you so don't take it no more tell her she has to go that's not love that's not a relationship that's abuse and it's not right don't put up with it

To answer your question why don't you turn it around what do you think she would be doing to you if you were hitting her you need to walk away before you get in big trouble cuz that's what's going to happen

OlderAndWiser · Answer

So she is your girlfriend? Your profile says "Just broke up."

xKayTea · Answer

No, it is never okay for anyone to hit you. Whether it be a parent, stranger, friend or partner. Regardless of gender too.

Technically even if it's not 'hard hitting', she is still assaulting you. I would confront her, tell her to stop and say if it happens again you're leaving and/or calling the police.

Because it is physical abuse, a big misconception is that you must be bruised, cut up, punched very hard etc for it to be considered physical abuse/domestic violence, but this is untrue.

Do not stay with a fully grown adult who hits things when they are mad, and cannot control their emotions, so they take it out like a child. Leave.

Hawkes_Lady · Answer

No, no, no! It is not okay at any time for anyone to hit another person in anger. That is never okay, never acceptable... that is called abuse.

I suggest that you wait until she is calm and then ask her to sit down and tell her that hitting is never an acceptable way to deal with anger toward another person, that you will no longer allow her to abuse you, and that if it happens again, you will walk out of the relationship. You could suggest to her that she buy herself a punching bag so when she feels the anger building up she can hit that instead or maybe help her find a gym where she can work out her anger in a safe environment.

No one should ever allow an abuser to abuse them, not even in the name of love.

patrick994 · Answer

A woman who beats you does not really love you, you should leave her and look for a less aggressive woman, at the first signs of violence it is better to leave, that way you avoid ending up in unpleasant situations, if you have any love for yourself, the best choice you can make is to leave her, violence is of the beasts, we human beings have elevated relationships to a higher level, we have reason that must prevail over instinct, violence can only be justified in self-defence and in cases where our life is in danger.

mstbooblover · Answer

When two people have a discussion, and words seem too short to express a disagreement, hitting is often following step, which is a sign of weakness, or wish to dominate in some way.

To answer your question: no, it's not normal, but sure, trying to understand why she hits you may reveal interesting. Vanity may be a cause if she can't stand you're right, or because she feels trapped by the way you talked. As always, the answer to your question can't be black or white and depends on circumstances.

Andres77 · Answer

Boundaries. If roles were reversed you’d be in jail. Record her doing it. Put up hidden cameras. Check your state laws about recording and make sure you don’t get in trouble. That sucks bud. Sorry. I was so broken in my 2nd marriage that I allowed her to do that to me. It took me a while to crawl out of that pit. I was in a dark place. Start leaving the house. Don’t answer your phone. Stay overnight at a friends house and when you come back the next day tell her that if she ever hits you again that you’re leaving. That’s just a technique. It might be enough to shake her awake. It might make her hit you hit you again. Find a way to record it. If she ever bruises you, take pics. I went to work once with scratches on my face and had to make up a lie about how I had scratches. I was in a bad place. I hope you get help, bud

Angelo75 · Answer

It's not normal. The sad part about it is that when a guy gets hit a lot, there are chances he'll grow used to the "being hit" part.
Problem is that he could get used to it and become less and less insecure or avoiding confrontations by just following... or even worse... he could start hitting back.
And when a man starts hitting, things get really bad cuz our punches hit way harder. (average speaking)
So you're the one whose gonna end up in trouble.

And you really don't want such a woman around your children.

Convince her to seek professional help.

Fireguy17 · Answer

No, not at all any sort of physical or verbal abuse should not be tolerated at all no Metter how sorry she is.

You can suggest that she seeks help, give her an alternative that if it ever happens again you are gone.

I dated a woman that turned out to have a bad temper/screw loose and one night a kitchen knife went sailing past my head and through a window breaking the window.

I walked out the door right then.

So you need to ask yourself how much will you tolerate before either you have had enough, or it escalates into something even worse.

bolverk · Answer

No, it is not normal, you say this is not her first time hitting you. You should consider ending the relationship as no one should be on the receiving end of any blows when they are in a relationship,
Whether you forgive her is up to you, but personally I'd withdraw from interacting with her and try not to be alone with her as sooner or later she'll start claiming that you're abusive, and if you do not have video evidence proving what actually happened, it'll be you who will end up being charged.

Bilboes · Answer

No form of abuse is okay no matter what your gender is. She is abusing you and needs to be called out on it. And whatever happens, do not let her play the victim card. So many men are victims of abuse and feel that they cannot come forward because they are men. It's BS and your feelings are valid. Please don't stay quiet.

Puppystarfish23 · Answer

Sometimes I playfully hit my boyfriend but would NEVER hit him in a violent , aggressive way in a argument that's not how adults deal with that kind of thing.

It's not acceptable at all and you do not hit someone you love get out of that relationship and block all contacts from her ASAP

marrk · Answer

Is it like a playful light tap on your arm or a real hit? If it is a real hit, leave. This is unacceptable. No one deserves this. I’m surprised by how many people suggest giving her another chance. Abusers will only get worse. They may say “I’ll change” but if there is no consequence (like you leaving), they won’t have a reason. You deserve safety. There’s women out there who won’t hurt you and will love you too.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I don't think I could be with someone that turns violent during an argument. I know some guys would say, ya but I'm tough and can endure it.

I'd be worried about my kids (future kids) seeing how their mother reacts in argument situations.

strawberrybaby3 · Answer

Neither her or you should ever be putting hands on each other in a heated argument. Thats physical abuse. It’s totally different if you guys are playfully joking around but there’s a difference when she’s angry, and she’s putting her hands on you. I’d give her an ultimatum and say if she does this again, you are done with her and possibly even inform police. This is not something to joke about, and usually these types of people don’t stop or change, and if anything, this only gets worse.

Keyboardkat · Answer

This is called abuse. The fact that the woman is doing it, rather than the guy,, doesn't make it acceptable. If you tolerate it, it will only escalate. Why does she think she has the right to hit you? Does she think she owns you, like a horse or a dog? You need to let her know that it's completely unacceptable and you will walk away the next time she does it. "Can't control herself?" One mark of being a mature adult is the ability to control one's self.

GreenLanternI0I · Answer

If she is hitting you, she is not respecting you as a man, she is placing her dominance over you, which makes you her Bit.. I say either dump her, because things will get even worse, because if you decide to have children with her, you will be treated like a dirty rag under garbage bag and therefore you won't get ANY respect from your children or your manwife.

Vesuvius87 · Answer

No, it's not normal for anyone to hit others. Hitting your partner in anger is a complete lack of respect. If you plan on staying with her, tell her to seek help immediately and that next time it happens, it's not just a permanent break-up but you'll get her charged for assault.

chrissykerdock · Answer

if she's hitting you you better walk away because it will end up really bad... nothing good will come of this... unless you stop upsetting her and obey all her commands which isn't normal either... just think if you hit her you'd be in jail... maybe not in a democratic city.

Finchie40 · Answer

Not at all , no one should be hitting anyone , either dump her ass or straighten her ass out and tell her if she lays another finger on you , she better part she wakes up in a hospital , Do not tolerate that kind of abuse man , that is some toxic shit

Pegases · Answer

No, and she hits you because she deosnt respect you. And while it isn't ok for her to hit you, you not putting your foot down is the reason it happened to begin with. Respect yourself enough to walk away from women that don't respect or value you as a man. You don't owe a woman that deosnt value your well being anything. Plus if the shoes were reversed you'd be in jail. Walk away man, this is simp behaivior.

ShadowYamihiro · Answer

She is abusive and you need to remove her from your life, Be it guy or a girl but whoever is abusing like that is a big NO. It happening once is forgivable if you love her a lot and you see she is genuinely sorry, but doing it more then once she is nothing more than abuser. break up with her immediately and if she doesn't leave you alone ask for restraining order on her

FellowTraveler · Answer

I am almost 62 YOA. I've posted before and I will post it again. There should not be an physical aggression in ANY nurturing, caring, mutual relationship. Furthermore it is highly unlikely that she will wake up one day and consider her physical aggression to be something she should not do anymore. I close with a question -what if you HIT HER? Do you think you would get away with it?

Reem12345reem · Answer

I say this again , there's a million girl other than her that would date u , why do u want to settle with an abuser if u have the choice to leave? she won't change unless she decides she wants to change and u can't do anything about it , no action to prove her promise of change then leave , u don't like the situation and ur being abused , u leave , let go.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Nope. Tis’ better than the reverse. But she needs to stop or it may escalate to objects/weapons that can do serious damage. You could try restraining her if your life is threatened, but don’t retaliate in any way. You lead with how you would want to be treated.

DextroShade · Answer

Not normal and not acceptable. If we lived in a sane society I would just tell you to knock her the fuck out next time she does it, but unfortunately you would likely get sent to jail because of the Duluth Model. So instead you should just use submission holds like in wrestling so you can physically dominate her without leaving marks on her that would get you in legal trouble.

kellytheman · Answer

Well you probably just walk away or leave if she starts getting violent and ifs get really violent like leaving marks or casing injuries you might want to call the police. You probably shouldn’t hit back cause then the police would be on her side and you be going to jail instead of her cause your a guy. Maybe forgive the first or second time but if happens during every argument you might have to break up with her.

Strong_Warrior · Answer

You are a man. You HAVE TO be dominant, leader and control women in some degree. If she hits you, you have a right to hit back. If you just stay there and dont protect yourself, it means you have low self esteem, low testosterone etc.

You did nothing wrong. She should say sorry to you. I suggest you to break up with her COMPLETELY. Either slap her face and discuss with her or BREAK UP with her. If you dont do both of them then you are a coward.

provokeesmokee · Answer

NO!!!  LEAVE HER. She's abusing you! Dude, this is not normal or healthy. She can't control her anger or even communicate with you without violence. Leave. Get safe. You deserve better.

Anonymous · Answer

Arguments never happen with my significant other because she is the Dominant. It's a Female led relationship all the time, so there' nothing to argue about. Whatever She says goes. If She wants my opinion, She asks for it which means She wants more information or a different point of view. Then She decides and that's it. If i were silly enough to object to Her decision after that point, i'd probably get hit, or worse. Life is easier when there's nothing to argue about.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

NO. Not normal.  Forgive her as much as you want but that's not "curing" the situation.   You're enabling her  abuse  to get worse.

DopeTurtle · Answer

Not at all. I don’t give a dam what gender you are, how old you are or who you voted for the in the last election, you put your hands on me in a violent manner without my approval, I’m kicking you in the chest 🤣

rosemilk · Answer

no this is not normal. i would never hit my partner wtf... what are you arguing about? hitting doesn't resolve arguments. i think you should either talk to her or break up. that's not okay.

mandyfire98 · Answer

It's not normal. People shouldn't assault each other. You should break up with her.

TipsyFr · Answer

I wouldn’t date someone who can’t control her anger, emotional control is a must, I’d take her out that same day with the rest of the trash ✌️

smashleyy · Answer

It is not normal it’s abuse. I hope you find the strength to leave and find better

katiesmuff · Answer

Need a bit more information for instance is it in fun, is it with her mad, just why is she hitting.

Truthatanycost · Answer

Our body is a temple that is to be treated as such. If any woman did that to me, she'd never see me again.

Datboi65 · Answer

Next time it happens, document it on video and have her arrested. Some people really need to learn the hard way.

ShesRad80 · Answer

she should never put her hands on you in an abusive manor, it is not ok and not it is not normal

BigRed1987 · Answer

All these wonderful ladies replying…I tell you, I wish I had this app 10 years ago, my life would be vastly different.

To OP, do not put up with any form of abuse please, you’re worth more than that.

gayesblog · Answer

Violence has no gender and is not normal in any relationship.

Massageman · Answer

If she doesn't seek professional help, you then have two choices: support her or leave her. (Staying with her but not supporting her is kind of a "non-choice", in my opinion)

Meropatrick · Answer

Ask yourself. Is it ok fr u to lose one of your eyes if she had her fit and hit u in the eyes with Something? Your answer to This question is the answer to your question.

Anonymous · Answer

She's testing you. Next time grab her and put her across your kne, then spank her bare bottom red until she cries, then give her some dick which is all she really wants. Be a man.

exitseven · Answer

It is really not normal but happens more that you think. Maybe she was abused as a kid and has problems with anger.

Thumper2thump · Answer

not acceptable. No one should ever lay a hand on someone in anger> Watch out that it doesn't't get worse. sounds like she needs so anger management

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I've a good attorney and countless cameras in the house. I'd hit back.

Skull_Anon · Answer

Probably she wants you to punish her in return 💀

Sparkie460 · Answer

If she hits you during every argument then you can say it is normal. Is it right? No it's not right. People should keep their hands to themselves. If she can't control her hands, leave her

thegreenyogi · Answer

I think it's fair to say that depends on the context.

artgorgeous · Answer

No, you should leave her. Its a case of domestic violence.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

It's domestic abuse. I'd capture it on film and press charges

tzdc21 · Answer

Uh no it's not okay, and you gotta tell her to stop hitting you.

no_feet_pics · Answer

No, and just asking that question should make you just sacrifice a couple of days of freedom and defend yourself.

msc545 · Answer

This is not normal. This will somday escalate into her calling the police and accusing you of hitting her, and you will get arrested and probably charged.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Call the police to calm her down

Jkgordon · Answer

Leave her and have her arrested that’s domestic violence don’t tolerate that ABUSE!😡

Wonderingguyy · Answer

That’s domestic violence. No it’s not normal and you shouldn’t be tolerating that behaviour

AngryCarl2 · Answer

No, you should leave. Violence is not normal in any relationship.

Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Call the police to calm her down

Is it normal my girlfriend to hit me?

Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Call the police to calm her down

Is it normal my girlfriend to hit me?

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