Girlfriend deleted all her messages, any other explanation other than hiding something?

Question

My long term girlfriend (living together for 2 years, we are both late 20s) often reads my phone messages, I sometimes go to the bathroom and when I return she is reading them. She even reads texts with my mom. Her story is that it just amuses her.

Fast forward, I was really irritated with this and started to be suspicious so I asked for her phone (I know, this is not so nice). She didn't want to give it to me and we started a fight.

2 days later she decided to give me her phone but prior to that she deleted ALL her FB and whatsapp messages. All of them, not just one of them. She did it because she don't want me to read her messages.

I am having a really hard time trusting her story, why would anyone delete all her messages unless they are hiding something. Prior to this event, sometimes she opened her FB messenger in front of me and there weren't any suspicious people in the chat history, but still I don't really trust her on this one.

Did you ever had something similar in your relationships? My problem is that this seems like a "by the book" example of someone who is hiding something / cheating...

Do you think someone could really behave like that and really not having something to hide?

Thanks :)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

At least you never wasted Any more years , I am to sadly to say those terms yet I had been cheated on even foolish since I had been there in the most darkness times in his life when I first started dated my now ex-bf , was I met his family including his own mother on her own husband's funeral service. Which it was a sudden passing of my ex boyfriend's father which I was only started dated the ex boyfriend on June 23, 2013 and which his father had a sudden heart attack on August 8, 2013 which my own father & I went to give out respect toward his mother and the family. Which in those times from February 2014 it only for him to cheat on me completely with female who he lied about how she was " just friends & I don't have nothing to worry about" which I found more than that she was then getting engagement rings and he was told me lies and even told my own father who was close his last years against his fight with stage 4 lung cancer which he and my father had that broken hand shake feeling lol 🤝 after my ex boyfriend had the talk with my father which at this year still was 🤥 about caring about what my dad had talked about with him then my father had passed away 2018. Which between 2014 until 2021 after he was then got arrested for domestic battery against his other 2nd girlfriend who had been completely cheating on me and had been getting questioned by his whole family especially his own mother sine his mother was very happy with me being with her son. And I had always been polite. And never was disrespectful yet this ex girlfriend he had lied to was extremely disrespectful about his own brother and even had been completely disrespectful towards his own mother which he send a picture of her own text messages which completely and also even she said yes when I shown her the same screenshot she told me how did I get that message? Because ex-bf tried actually trying to act like a victim of the lies because while they both went to court which he told me " That I need to be able to support him as stand by my man & women never leaves her man when ia in need." He actually has text which I told him he never truly was respectful towards my family especially my father's man - man handshake before he had lost the fight with the cancer. Since by Illinois State Laws in the US, When any judge in a domestic violence case or court hearing, Both Parties on both sides Must Stop All Communication on all types including, social media, Emails and cell phone or any thing. Which both of them broke those rules both under oath. Since she actually had send him a message on his own email about meeting up with her and the they also had been completely talking about why I met up. And I told her never cared about me at all when I was there because sadly my dog which she like him has passed away from cancer on June 23, 2021 . I had asked him thinking he still called it was just a another jackass move from him and he told just stay home take care of my dog which I already told him she had passed away from her own cancer which I was so depressed when I walked into my mother's room where my dog had been sleeping with very hard painful In her eyes and breathing 😭 she had passed in her sleep. i asked for his help to come meet me after we had help to get cremated yet tht ex boyfriend who I never could've believed on how he was cold hearted. Which he even claimed he never could remember when legit birthday date was and he was just wasted my whole 10 years of my 20s because I actually had chances with better males who had actually asked me 2nd time of wanting to see if might have dated him. I was foolish to not take that 2nd chance since it was his own classmate and also a male who I already had been thinking dating instead this loser ex boyfriend who was a wasted of my life.

Ozanne · Accepted Answer

So she feels it's okay to root through your phone to read everything including messages you have with your mom, but gets mad and deletes messages off of her apps before you're allowed to see her phone?

The writing is on the wall with this one. She was obviously saying things she didn't want you to see. Either she was talking about you, or saying inappropriate things to someone she knows you'd be hurt if you saw them.

She sounds like a control freak and a hypocrite all in one. If I were you I'd lock my phone and not give her access to it ever again.

Fireguy17 · Accepted Answer

I clean mine out all the time, they just take up so much space, my wife does it too, but not as often.

I keep all of the kitty pictures.

Since you don't trust her and were insistently wanting to violate her privacy she simply one upped you.

You got your way that was so important to you and found nothing.

So now what?

If you don't trust her then why are you with her?

After your tirade she just might decide she has had enough of you and leave.

I hope it was worth it.

So put your tail between your legs and go apologize to her for being such a butt peanut in the first place.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

A good long term relationship requires lust, love, trust, and respect. This relationship is lacking trust and respect and you can remain with her but these problems will eventually get worse.

Are you ready to break up and start looking for someone with whom you can have mutual trust.

coachTanthony · Answer

"She did it because she don't want me to read her messages."

If I didn't want my girlfriend to wear my sweatshirt anymore I certainly wouldn't burn it so I couldn't wear it anymore either. Just saying.

runitupkai · Answer

I'm going to be honest. Some people might think oh I'm too young to be giving out answers because I'm 16 but let's be so real. If you have  NOTHING  to hide then why would you delete all your messages? How is she gonna go through your messages and be like "Oh it fascinates me." I'm SORRY? But going through you and your mom's private messages between you and your mom is just a  HUUUUUUGE LINE  that should have not been crossed. Unless you're fine with her looking at you and your mom's messages. 2. There is an 85% Chance she's cheating on you if she goes all the way to delete  ALL HER MESSAGES?  Bro, she sat on her phone for hours deleting all of those messages so you couldn't see them. Idc about the people that are taking her side. If she has nothing to hide then she would not care about him going through her phone. Cased closed she's a red flag and you do not need to waste any more time on her. Point blank period.

pianogirlmeow · Answer

normally when someone someone is that suspicious of their partner it’s either because of really bad trust issues or because they think you’re doing what they’re doing. The fact that she deleted ALL the messages might be because if she deleted one in particular you would know who it was she was having inappropriate conversations with. That’s my thought anyways. Tell her you don’t appreciate her looking through your messages. Change your phone passcode. If she doesn’t change then you do what’s best for you

Gail_lvsjizz · Answer

She’s definitely seeing another person or multiple people. People who cheat can’t help but get suspicious of their supposed partner. She was checking your messages because she wanted to see that you’d been cheating. She should be feeling a lot more guilty now she knows you’re not. If she’s religious get her to swear on the life of someone she loves that she’s not doing the dirty. I guarantee that she is though and you cannot be with someone that cheats. Forgiveness doesn’t work in this situation trust me. She mustn’t be satisfied with what you give her so ditch her toot sweet and get with a nice girl.

strawberrybaby3 · Answer

Extremely suspicious. She wants to read your messages most likely out of guilt for what she is doing behind your back. Especially if you asked her to see her phone and she deletes all of her messages. Trust your gut in this situation and confront her. Demand the truth and if she doesn’t want to be honest with you, rethink the relationship.

Hershfyb6xs · Answer

Ok first let me say this it is just possible that she really didn’t want you invading her privacy, she has things she talks about with her friends and she don’t want to share them with you. Just because y’all have been together for 2 years do not mean she is obligated to share every single thing with you. Sometimes a conversation with someone outside of your spouse needs to happen. Stop jumping to conclusions and ask her the real reason. If she that’s the reason then take it and if you have a gut feeling it’s something else, either leave or sleep on it. At the end of the day the choice is yours on what you going to to do and how you approach this. Have a great day and I wish you the best of luck! 🤞🏾

rosemilk · Answer

that's... weird... the last thing i'd want to do when my partner goes to the bathroom is immediately grab his phone. or read his texts because it "amuses" me... she seems really weird.

you know, it's true, when people cheat they accuse you of cheating or look to see if you're up to no good. some weird psychology thing, I don't know, i don't understand it. but it is a VERY common thing for a cheater to do.

I don't know how you're putting up with this.

Constatine · Answer

This relation is not based on trust. She can do ( even with mom ) what you may not do

This is not good. Also i like to mention.. what tour mom is doing is also wrong.

I had something like that... I kicked her out. She kept saying nothings wrong but one divorced she had a new friend within 2 weeks.. so yeah i stupid... NOT..

I would terminate that relation..

Nimitttt · Answer

My guy shared all his passwords with me I saw all his old chats and didn’t judge him :)

Haha

She hides old chats so that you don’t judge her. Also mate give her good sex for you to doubt on her whether another dick Is entering her vagina or not haha

ta-ra · Answer

Ooh that's not good. I'm sorry. The fact she reads all yours shows a guilty conscious, deleting everything confirms it.  I'd be very suspicious if that was me. Trust your gut.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Nope. She's hiding something.

slatyb · Answer

Why do you allow this? That's weird. I've been with my wife 15 years and we don't share our phones.

inhua · Answer

she's hiding a backup boyfriend or the fact she's a side chick for some other guy

DreamLife7 · Answer

You both don't like or trust each other its obvious. You both fail to walk away so instead she's cheating on you

Jkgordon · Answer

Once you start this nonsense the relationship is OVER move on

Anonymous · Answer

boyfriends and girlfriends should not look at each other's phones

AmeerX · Answer

She is definitely cheating on you. Good luck being duped you keep her around.

JesseP1nk · Answer

She is projecting... That is why she is looking through your phone...

MustangGirl01 · Answer

Hmmm as you said, it’s very “by the book” sus. Never can tell tho, but be wary

jeffend888 · Answer

If you can't figure this out for yourself, I'm not sure how to help you.

Girlfriend deleted all her messages, any other explanation other than hiding something?

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