Me and this girl have been together but not officially for around 5 months. We’re long distance, we live in different countries but flights are cheap and the flight is only two hours. We have visited eachother a couple times and have met each others family and extended family. We like to play games together and FaceTime here and there. I’ve brought up about going official with our relationship to her and she replied jokingly that if I moved out there she would be my girlfriend. We also never had any sexual experiences even though we slept in the same bed when spending time together, we just kissed and cuddled. When I asked her about these two things she replied saying she can lose feelings as quick as she gets them and I believe that has happened her. In the past month she has started to become very distant. She hardly ever messages first, constantly leaving me on delivered and read and doesn’t ask me to call or play games with her anymore.
I spoke to her BFF who she has also been really distant with (we also play games with her a lot too) and said what I should do and she said that she is being selfish and I should call her out on it. So I messaged her and said I feel hurt and confused that she has pulled back without any real answer, she replied saying “Your feelings are completely valid, and I get where you are coming from, but I don’t have the energy to do this right now, you do whatever you want to, but I’m just trying to take care of myself at the moment”
I said why not tell me this before and I could help you in any way you want me to and she replied saying that she likes to deal with these issues by herself, she always has done and always will. I said that I still liked her and want to be there with her and for her but we should just take some time away.
I know girls and guys use that similar excuse of “working on myself” to let people down easily. I do believe that is the case here but at the same time she has been and is mentally unwell. I dunno what to do
