How important is vulnerability in relationships?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

From my experience, It makes a woman feel much deeper bond to a man, if the man is capable of being vulnerable to her.

It’s a sign of immense trust, and softness, that people don’t usually get to see, that makes the love you feel for someone much deeper and more intense.

Is that the same for men?

Updates

+1 y

I have one photo very similar to this painting, taken with my ex-fiance. It was so beautiful, they even gifted us an illustrated version of that photo, that was put on his cover photo for 2 years of our long distance.

I always felt like my gentle love to him was the result of him allowing me to be vulnerable and also be his vulnerable self to me. I felt responsible to take care of his heart, because he trusted me with it.

[caring__1]

Vulnerability determines the depth of the relationship. By being vulnerable, we're showing we trust the person to not hurt us with our intimate thoughts, feelings and insecurities. It's unwise to start a relationship by immediately exposing your innermost secrets, but once you see a pattern you can trust, start revealing your vulnerabilities.

I'm not suggesting people withhold key aspects of what they seek or what they bring to the relationship, but don't start with your traumas and sensitivities. Vulnerability is sharing those insecurities you're open to working on and eliminating. Saying "I don't choose to be with abusive partners" is not sharing vulnerability, as you have no desire to change that fact. Saying "I'm scared to be seen without my clothes on" would be a vulnerability you wish to overcome and are willing to address. Anything you're not willing to change, that might be a red flag to the other person, is important to share from the start, such as "I'm a fanatical gamer."

By being vulnerable, it's your way to show trust and ask for help. Knowing you're trusted and seen as a valuable resource will draw you closer to your partner. This interaction gives us a sense of belonging and worth within a relationship. Without vulnerability, we're left with nothing but superficiality, though that appears to be very satisfying to many people. Not everyone wants depth in their relationship.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@Chthou95 Read this and learn. Here’s a man with more experience than you’ve got.

[Nikki1989]

@caring__1 At least this guys gets it.

[love_conquers_lust]

@caring__1 I don’t disagree with the invulnerability. I don’t necessarily agree with the process you recommend.

I’m at that age where I’m more inclined to speak my mind, my time is limited. I can disclose whatever I wish at whatever pace I feel like. Whether a potential partner wishes to reciprocate is their choice.

What I think you’re referring to is people scared to death of someone else’s judgement and exploiters. The fear is not the problem, it’s allowing it to shy away from facing it that is weakness. As far as the exploiters, karma finds its way to everyone. Those people live complicated lives and can never fully enjoy the “fruits” of their exploits.

If one leads a virtuous life, wearing your heart on your sleeve with honesty is an easy choice.

[dynamicyandere]

It’s hugely important.


If someone wants to have more than surface-level attraction, and they want to have a deep bond of trust, vulnerability is a must.


There’s no way around it.


Relationships are stronger the more two people trust each other.


The moment one trusts someone, they become vulnerable.


The only way to be invulnerable is to trust nobody.


There’s no way around it.


One end of the spectrum is someone who does not trust their partner at all — they’re not vulnerable with them at all.


The other side of the spectrum is someone who trusts their partner fully — they’re very vulnerable with them.


This doesn’t mean they’re a crybaby all the time.


But it means that they given their significant other the power break their heart.


Because whenever you trust someone, in any context, the other person has ability to betray that trust.


That’s the risk one takes when they trust anyone.


In ancient times, the cup bearer of a monarch was trusted very much because it was the cup bearer’s duty to ensure that the monarch’s drink was never poisoned.


When you trust someone, you become vulnerable to them, and they have the ability to figuratively poison you, if they chose to.


So trust is important in every serious relationship, for both men and women.


With trust comes vulnerability — it is inseparable.


And with vulnerability, comes risk.


But it’s a risk that is important to take if one wants to have a close relationship with someone.

[dynamicyandere]

If a woman trusts her man, it’s a major GREEN flag. And I personally see it as incredibly heart-warming.

It’s just unfortunate when we hear stories of both men and women betraying trust.

But if one finds a man/woman of character and virtue, and puts their trust in them, becoming vulnerable, then a very beautiful relationship can blossom out of it.

The conditions are right for cultivating a strong bond.

[Dijntntb]

Well if you mean when the guy says his weaknesses to her. It didn’t make me feel closer. Just made me worried.
like one man told me his ex wife was a mean woman and he was nervous with her.
it just made me worry about what if I would be mean to him (not that I typically am but what if I ever was mean and didn’t know it).

I don’t need to hear men’s vulnerabilities.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Hmm…

But It’s good he told you that, so you know what he expects you to be like for him…

So, you don’t plan listening on him and finding out what his needs are?

And how you can make sure you two can feel happy in a relationship?

Don’t understand.

[Dijntntb]

That’s the thing. I expect the man to decide if he thinks I’m a good fit for him. He knows more than me. If who I am as a person or personality isn’t enough or doesn’t make him feel good then he is free to just not pursue me. Telling me his burdens just makes me fearful and worried and I can’t be my best happiest free self if I’m sitting there worried and trying to come across to him like someone I like he “needs “.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

How does he know more than you?

You guys should complement each other.

He’s most likely just a big child, who knows the same about life as you do.

[Dijntntb]

Ah well if he’s a child then I really don’t need him. As I said I have no solutions for grown men and their problems. If he doesn’t know what to do I sure don’t do telling me his vulnerabilities is just going to make me nervous and worry.

I think of myself as more of being along for the ride a guy can give me. I’m not really trying to be his therapist or anything because I simply can’t. I’m not that smart.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t think you should be a therapist. Just a friend and a partner though?

[Dijntntb]

I don’t like partnerships, it sounds like a business transaction. I’m traditional in mindset. Maybe I just suck at friendship or whatever. Do you generally have answers and solutions when a man is vulnerable with you? Sometimes when guys do that to me I just wonder why they’re telling me, it’s like what am I supposed to do with that information. Usually when I tell someone my issues it’s cause I think they can help me, give good advice or so on. I usually go online and ask strangers for help. But in real life I’d even be shy to tell someone my issues. They could pounce on me worst case scenario.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Sometimes you can just be there and listen and make sure he knows you accept him and you are there for him.

No need to go for help or advice when they ask none. Just make them feel heard and understood is all it takes.

[Dijntntb]

Oh well I like to think I do that anyway. I think I’m a good listener. But if you’re asking if I want to hear the man I’m romantically interested in tell me his vulnerabilities it’s a no because I want a relationship to be a refuge not another burden in my life.

[sheikalana]

It is important to have transparency in the relationship in order to understand each other better and improve in the relationship.

[OlderAndWiser]

My ex-wife refused to be vulnerable to me and I felt that it always kept a distance between us.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

May I ask, did she get distant during the marriage or was she always distant?

What might have caused her to be distant from her own husband?

[OlderAndWiser]

She felt the need to be super-mom and supergrandma and she placed her husband in a lower priority. As the number of grandchildren grew, my ranking dropped even more and my resentment increased. She eventually decided that she really didn't want to be married, and we divorced. Truly, in retrospect, I don't think she ever wanted to be married, but she didn't want to be alone and I was convenient.

To the best of my knowledge, she has not remarried and isn't living with anyone, but I don't have any contact with her so my knowledge is limited.

[Anonymous]

If you can’t be with someone who you can’t be yourself around. There is serious problems. If two people aren’t compatible. They need to break up. Not try to change the other person and force someone to suppress themselves.



If you marry someone and can’t be yourself even in your own house. You have problems. If you can’t be open abojt your passions, if you can’t express emotions such as sadness and anger. There is so many loser women…. Even those who claim to be Christian. Who never read the part of the Bible that says a woman who doesn’t comfort her husband creates shaking knees.



Obviously there is many very supportive men and women out there. There is a lot of men too who shut down a woman’s dreams. Lots of women who shut down a man’s needs and desires and dreams and doenst care about anything he wants. It’s all about her.



Find someone who loves you. Cares for you. Has your best interests at heart. Someone who you can truly be yourself around. Someone who doesn’t force you to change, but at the same time does push you to be a better version of yourself. That’s love.

[Constatine]

Quote : "It’s a sign of immense trust, and softness, that people don’t usually get to see, that makes the love you feel for someone much deeper and more intense."

You said it all and beautiful...🥰🥰

I'm not going to add anything other than :

Yes for men too. But most of them refuse to immit it. Because then.. They look weak.

[Lionman95]

I would say yes trust is key and being able to be vulnerable is the most intimate moment I could think of. It means a lot to me if a woman shows me I can trust her deeply and she doesn´t make fun of me when I feel weak and insecure but is there listens and encourages me to get back up.

[inhua]

maybe it's important for women because they need someone to channel their emotions to

but it's none whatsoever for men because there's no need and it's a turn off for women. there's the gym, sports, video games for that to channel their emotions

[Anonymous]

Speaking from a man's prespective, a woman who allows herself to be vulnerable is very endearing and attractive.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Don’t all women allow themselves be vulnerable with their men?

[Opinion Owner]

Hell no.

[Getoutnyface]

Yeah right. I’m nice to men and they could care less they want my body for 5 mins that’s all then they move on and think about other stuff.

[Opinion Owner]

@Getoutnyface Why do women participate in the hookup culture and then complain when men don't value them? This is not rocket science.

[Getoutnyface]

That had nothing to do with my post.

[Opinion Owner]

@Getoutnyface It has everything to do with it, and the fact you don't see that is part of your problem.

[Getoutnyface]

Ok have a nice day

[Opinion Owner]

@Getoutnyface Better luck in the future.

[justabuddy]

Highly important, at a min. It will show you if she cares and will stay... or if she will be disgusted and run away.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Exactly.

[spartan55]

Yeah, I would say so. Most guys don't like to admit it though.

[Getoutnyface]

Admit what?

[spartan55]

That being vulnerable is important.

[Getoutnyface]

Who being vulnerable? And what makes it important?

[spartan55]

Most men don't like to admit being vulnerable is important.

[Billlewis]

I much prefer to be as vulnerable as possible when I'm in a relationship with a woman.

[Christoff92]

If the couple is doing well and going strong then vulnerability in relationships is very important.

[Bklynbadboy12]

It's very important and if you can't be that way with your woman who can you be that way with

[Luopio27]

Friends

[Dijntntb]

@Luopio27 thank you. I like men like you who don’t burden their woman with that heavy stuff.

[Luopio27]

Did not mean to offend the asker. I was just pointing out hypergamy.

[Bklynbadboy12]

@Luopio27 That's true you can be that way with friends and @Dijntntb I wouldn't burden my woman with anything I'm a man in every sense of the word there's not much in this world that I can't handle and what I can't I put in the hands of God

[ProbablyClueless]

Vulnerability is critical to relationships. Without vulnerability, there is no solid connection.

[CaptainSmartass]

If a woman's vulnerable in a relationship then, yeah, its important and natural. If a guy does it, he's a poof, a pussy and a milksop.

Simples...

[YAsQuen]

men should be able to vulnerable. Its just that they can't because most women will use it against them at a later date.

[blairbear99]

Very important.

[Yellovv]

Can you follow me as well, because in another question another guy replied to you as well so I write in here..

[Grond21]

It's absolutely crucial for healthy relationships.

[soe11]

Vital importance.

[jahaims]

Very

[andy530]

Absolutely vital