Ever given someone a second chance?

[RoseySarah]

Yes

No

Twice!

[DizzyDesii]

I normally believe in short term second chances. Say if we break up. Depending on why and how serious it was, we could possibly rekindle within hours to days. If its been longer than a week then I likely won’t give it another shot. I can think of very few guys that I’d give it another go with (in which its been years) and thats just because I know I played a big part in ruining us. Some of them check up on me once or twice a year to see where we stand, and i used to say no just out of revenge. But now I don't know I’m really considering some shit if things don’t workout with my current guy

[RoseySarah]

Also depends how long the relationship. If it was 1. Year or 2 then it should be over.

[DizzyDesii]

Nah the length doesn't really matter to me. Most who reach out i had something short term with. But i’ve been in touch with one of my exes of 2 years and he's regretting a lot with how our ending played out. So I don't know its some stuff to consider, just because he somewhat knew me better than anyone else

[RoseySarah]

That is smart well the next one will be special wonderful vibes for your next date!

[DizzyDesii]

I’m with someone atm, but im keeping those chances in mind

[DizzyDesii]

The one we’re discussing is one im debating about that second chance. But not as a major focus. I’m pretty happy with who i’m building something with atm

[RoseySarah]

That is so great and your right it is building something with someone!
More people need to view realtionshios that way!

[DizzyDesii]

Thank you and thank you for mho :)

[nastyb]

I am usually not someone who gives second chances. But on the rare occasion that I do give second chances, 95% of the time the person always ends up doing the wrong thing again. Please do not give second chances. Please don't. It will save you so much grief. You need to understand that there is always a reason why people do the things that they do. Its usually not an accident 95% of the time. People never change by the time they hit a certain age.

[RoseySarah]

So true usually they just do it again for the same reasons or just cause they can and don't value you enough not to.

Feeling like there won't be anything bad that happens if they do

[nastyb]

usually they do it again but they try harder to hide it the second time.
and for some people, the more you forgive, the less they respect you.
A similar example is when you let a child get away with doing the wrong things even when you tell him not to. Eventually, he will just not see you as an authority. The child will not take you seriously.

same thing that goes for giving second chances. the more you let them get away with it, the less the person will respect your rules.

[Apple1996]

Yes I'm overly forgiving. It's a bad trait of mine. I'll give everyone a 2nd, 3rd 4th chance to make up what they've done to me

[RoseySarah]

So have done that and often we make it our fault they did this or that!
By the 2nd time nope he is doing it cause she wants to!

[DaySpring]

@roseysarah people don't always behave how they want to. She just said it is a bad trait of hers which implies she doesn't want to do it. I know plenty of fat people who want to change but find it hard. Humans do not have free will. We have the ability to change but that's not 100% free will. Change takes time, it is not an instant thing.

[DaySpring]

That's a great trait. You cannot blame yourself for someone else not discipling themselves. People give up on each other as if we are perfect. If we had the ability to be perfect it would make sense but with highly flawed capacities we should forgive endlessly. It doesn't mean we should keep someone in our life while they are changing but we should forgive them once they have. Someone who isn't trying to change should be kicked out of your life. If we had this approach dating would be easy because we'd grow with people instead of kicking them to the curb for being a little over weight or for be antagonistic. Kindness can be learned. Health can be learned. Many things can be changed. Trying to find the perfect person is a losing game. Nobody is perfect nor perfect for you. We can always get better at being a good fit.

[coachTanthony]

No never. 2 strikes and your out.

[RoseySarah]

So you do give them a 2nd lmao!
Wait that is 3 strikes!

[coachTanthony]

1 strike and your out then... Haven't had my coffee yet lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yes. But 2nd chances don’t work 😇

[DaySpring]

They do sometimes. Humans can change. We can kick someone out our lives but we should complain as if are shit doesn't stink.

[ShellyB]

Does the question mean in relationships, like you break up and then get back together? I guess I did have some brief breakups w my hs boyfriend so that might count. However, that was not really a great relationship, I did not actually want to be with him and I eventually broke up permanently when I had an excuse (which was we went to college 30 minutes apart) so in a way, I don't think I was really giving him any "chances." I feel guilty how I treated him, I think my karma or whatever you want to call it balanced out in my next relationship where I got treated kind of how I treated him.

But other than that possible exception, no I have never really broken up and then tried again, I think once you know, you know and it would just waste everybody's time and lead to false expectations to try again in those cases.

However, if the question means not just relationships but anything, yes I am a believer in that, I have ended up friends w a lot of people I didn't get along with at first.

[RoseySarah]

It is a general question!
In relationships it's usually over when it's over or friends with benefits or just a bad relationship to fall back on.

[RoseySarah]

You did great we are all figuring relationships out... even when we are married 😂

[kareenakapur]

yes absolutely when my ex cheated I didn't even think twice to give him a second chance because I knew he felt bad. I dont think there's anyone right now though that I would give a second chance to. Maybee just maybeee my most recent ex if he had a good excuse to why he truly left. If not, then hell no. But I think everyone as of rn there were good reasons why we didn't work out and im not repeating the past. If im dating another guy rn then I would give my man a second chance tho. Really depends what happened and whether he was sorry for it.

[smilelots]

Everybody deserves at least a second chance, depending what they did to use up their first chance, but each time that’s up to the person that is willing or not willing to give that second chance or not

[RoseySarah]

True depending on what they did!

[Julie_TS]

Guilty as charged! I am what you would consider a 'habitual backslider'.

#Icanthelpmyself #eventhoughIknowbetter

[RoseySarah]

So did the same several times your not alone! Here is a big hug!

The right guy is worth a second chance but most guys are trash!

[smilelots]

I agree if they’re nice people everybody makes mistakes but most guys are trash, so is that 51% or do you mean higher percentage, wise are trash

[DannyUk2017]

A gonner remains a gonner... same like that saying... Once a cheater, Always a cheater, once a beater/hater, always a beater/hater, so no... i'm sorry but i can't give a second chance to a "toxic/trait" relationship that i always wanted to get out of, as fast as i could...🤷‍♂️

[RoseySarah]

What if it was because of long distance from college or career?

[smilelots]

It should not matter the distance between you what you do has given you no right to cheat on someone you’re with if you want to be with someone else break it off with the other person and have the balls to tell them why and for you ladies out there that may do that have the nipples to tell them why I couldn’t think of anything else to say we always use balls to mean something does it

[DannyUk2017]

@RoseySarah... Is not Going to work... The "online" generation these days is Too Dangerous for a Long distance relationship to work, temptation is at Every corner, and sadly the "devil" in each of us, even without knowing/willing... opens The Door Easily! 🤷‍♂️

[Still-alive]

Technically this really can only work if the person truly has changed otherwise you’re likely to just run into the same issues that broke you guys up in the first place.

so me personally i only give it if i can see they truly have changed for the better.

[Quigly]

The behavior of someone is not something they can change with the snap of a finger.

Usually, when in a relationship, there was red flags from early on and your mistake was your willingness to give that person the benefit of the doubt over and over until the final straw. The second chance isn't the second chance. It's more like chance number 15 or 20.

[SolitarySolace]

Yes. Once. She cheated and the guy she got with went to jail so we got back together. It only lasted a week though. She got back with him when he got out… said she would in a heartbeat. That was the last time I ever gave anyone a second chance

[DeeDeeDeVour]

My husband was my 2nd boyfriend and eventually also became my 4th, 6th & 8th boyfriend.

He obviously earned more than just a second chance.

[Bricealan]

Many times. But a great friends with benefits, would not give me a second chance, since I was a selfish asshole, and she never spoke to me againl.

[Sublime45]

No, you have one opportunity to do right by me. If you manage to squander that opportunity then I'll effectively dismiss anything further to do with you.

[SexyRedd1966]

Never my Dad always told me.. don't go back to old relationships because you broke up for a reason

[Greenskydreams69]

Yes!! I’ve given several women second chances and it’s worked out great. One ex became a regular friends with benefits and for years we had incredible mind blowing sex.

[abbyjgriffin98]

Nope. I don't give second chances. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

[Dargil]

If it is cheating, no. A second chance on cheating is permission.

[elizamichale1]

yes i do n yea i have given 2nd chances but it didn't really work though

[Charliefretz329]

About a million fucking times.


Ugh 😑


Imma stay a hermit now.