I haven’t given up , I just no longer jump into a relationship without really getting to know the girl first , Most girls’ I have been with don’t really know what they want , they think they do , but when push comes to shove they don’t , Most girls I have started to get serious with turned out to be selfish girls ‘ that only cared about themselves , that do not know how to wear her partners shoes like she expects him to wear hers. Most girls ‘ claim they want love and commitment , and then when they finally receive that , they change their minds and want something completely different , once the infatuation period runs it’s course. that’s pretty Much how you know if they are in it for the long haul or short haul. I blame social media for damaging the foundations of a relationships Most girls’ these days do not know how to stay committed, , they constantly think grass is greener on the other side , or they feel like they are missing out on something. So all I do is treat a girl the same way I want to be treated in return , if she chooses to walk away , I let her go and realize I deserve someone that doesn’t want to leave my side. I mainly go after girls’ that love to be submissive , if she stays submissive to me , I will keep her by my side the best I can. If she stops being submissive to me , I will kick her to the curb where she belongs. I only like girls’ that want to bring happiness into my life , not misery , if she cheats on me , it’s over immediately , Most girls today are cheaters sadly to say , I have slept with married women and girls that were already in a relationships with someone else , that lied to me that they were single , Sadly most girls today think they are sneaky and think they can get away with shit , little does she realize I am pretty wise when it comes to liars and backstabbers , in my line of work , I was taught how to observe people So one thing I have learned in relationships , is what she is doing is her problem not mine , if a girl wants to lie to me and cheat on me , go right ahead , because I will so do the same , I don’t tolerate girls’ that think their shit don’t stink , I tolerate girls that are honest with me , if she is honest with me , I will be honest with her and keep her close to my side. If she makes me her top priority , she will be my top priority , if she treats me like a convenience , she will be my convenience as well and I will express my feelings of concern to her , but if nothing changes , I am out , if I am not her top priority , she will not be mine. For love to grow between 2 people, both people have to remove selfishness for each other and resist temptations for each other , and wear each others shoes before making decisions, no relationship is perfect but if you both choose each other, that’s the only way a relationship will survive and love will grow between you both. Good luck finding that these days
If assholes and bottom of the barrel scum are the only types if girls you're attracting, it probably means you're not that good at reading people when it comes to finding a date. Plenty of genuine women out there looking for love
A lot of girls’ are looking for love but they are looking for love on their terms , basically her way or no way , A majority of females these days have a selfish mindset that think grass is greener on the other side , the second she doesn’t get her way she will run to someone else instead of fixing what’s in front of her , I am not saying all girls’ do this but there are a lot that do.
I have plenty of girl friends that have loving boyfriends. Nice girls. Maybe you're subconsciously only attracted to assholes. Maybe you're only gravitating to women of a certain type.
I knew a guy who said he only seems to attract crazy women. If thats the only type you're attracting, there's likely something wrong with you
Nah. I have a feeling its you thats the problem, not these women. There are so many good girls out there hopelessly looking for love in a huge society of perverted men looking for sex.
Nah, your feeling is wrong , I know I am not perfect but I know I take relationships seriously, I treat her the same way I want to be treated in return , I stay loyal to her , I don’t cheat , I wear her shoes before i wear mine when it comes to decisions , sadly Most girls don’t do that, it’s pretty much her way or no way , I pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve , I am old school when it comes to relationships, things usually go great in the beginning , the intimacy and affection is amazing to the point it’s just instant , but as time goes on the girls’ I have been with, just tend to get bored or they think they are missing out on something , like the grass is greener on the other side type of shit , most girls are very vulnerable when it comes to men hitting on them , if she thinks he is more attractive or has a higher status then I do , she will spread her legs for the other guy or she will dump me and say she wants to see other people. So I been on both sides of the spectrum and sadly to say in my opinion Females are worse than men are when it comes to commitment
maybe there is something about you that she just doesn't like. Or maybe you're just chasing the wrong women. I know many people date the wrong people due to shallow reasons.
How do you think there are so many other couples that are getting married , having kids? or living together in long term relationships?
why are you the only one who can't keep a relationship?
[So I been on both sides of the spectrum and sadly to say in my opinion Females are worse than men are when it comes to commitment]
females are not worse... females tend to want love. men tend to just want sex.
there is more to a relationship than just providing intimacy and affection. there has to be a genuine connection mentally. Not just the expensive dinners, charming words, kisses, sweet cuddles. These things will get a girl to date you, but it won't get a girl to love you.
If you're saying all the women seem to leave you for other men... it might mean be she was never that interested in you in the first place.
you're dating the wrong women.
Never blame a woman for not being interested in you. She has the right to lose interest, if thats the way she feels. It just means she wasn't the one for you.
Go for an older woman with a stable job, financially stable, mature, know what she wants, is serious about relationships, no kids
Off of my intuition, you're chasing some very immature young girls that are mentally unstable, don't know what they want, enjoy playing around.
if you want to have a successful relationship, you must look at the maturity level and mental stability of that particular person. I think you would work way better with someone closer to your age.
I am not giving up on finding true love , unfortunately I was just dealt a bunch of bad seeds , I am just trying to be wiser on who I give my heart to these days , I feel social media played a huge part on damaging relationships and the foundation of a relationship, Most girls and guy’s today have back up plans , which to me is so selfish and fucked up, I I have dated younger and older girls through the years some of the younger girls were a lot more mature than the older ones so age doesn’t really matter to me , it’s the person that matters and the chemistry and connection and attraction we both have for each other , I don’t care how beautiful a girl looks on the outside , if she doesn’t have a good heart or good morals I am not going to waste my time with her period , Most girls’ assume every guy is an asshole and a player and most guy’s assume every girl is a whore , so sadly it goes both ways , One thing I choose to do is be honest with myself and with a girl I am interested in , what she chooses to do is up to her sadly she chooses to be selfish after she gets bored or thinks she is missing out on something , I no longer chase girls’ when I was younger and gave my heart to a girl , cheating wasn’t even a thought in my head Sadly these days it is because I was blind sided to many times from selfish girls’ , a lot of people have a hard time being honest, and that’s one thing I noticed through the years most people have a hard time doing. I am very honest with a girl I am interested in I don’t want to waste her time or mine is how I look at things , I am an open book and pretty much let her know what I am seeking in a relationship , most people when they meet someone new that they are attracted to just agree with them because they are infatuated with the person , it’s new and amazing but as time goes on they eventually realize to themselves Oh wait , I don’t really have much in common with this person anymore , I want this instead , every relationship is a
50/50 chance , on whether someone is in it for the long haul or short haul , these days it seems a lot of people are in it for the short haul because most people in general are selfish people that think they are missing out on things and think they deserve better than what’s right in front of them, why I blame social media for brainwashing people’s heads to believe everyone is a cheater and that trust is something we have to earn constantly , Most people just assume the worse case scenarios when they finally feel someone actually loves them and wants to be with them , they think there is no way this person loves me like that, they must be up to no good and they must not be telling me something. So if they are doing that to me they must be up to no good and doing that too me , Sio I my as well do the same. I have witnessed and experienced this shit so many times to the point most people are just Dumb , Most girls just assume a guy wants sex and nothing more , Most guy’s assume girls’ are just spreading their legs looking for a guy to take care of them or she is just with him for his money and sadly that happens a lot. So me personally just goes with the flow, I treat a girl the same way I want to be treated , that’s all I choose to do , things will be great between us for a nice amount of time but sadly as time goes on , most people just tend to get bored and think they are missing out on things. Most people do not know how to wear their partner’s shoes the same way they expect their partner to do for them and sadly that’s why a lot of relationships do not make it these days , because most people only really care about what os best for themselves , If everyone knew how to remove selfishness and knew how to resist temptations , they actually might have a long lasting relationship with someone and experience true love , but these days , that’s to much work because technology made it easy for people to replace each other. I choose not to give my heart to a girl that
Isn’t choosing me as her top priority , she might get me in bed if she is good at lying to me , but when her lies eventually shine that’s when I walk away. Thanks for a good time but not a long time. So far the only girls’ that treated me the best , were the ones that were cheating on their husbands with me , that lied to me that they were single. Once I find out she is married , I end it and the crazy thing is , she will go back to her husband like nothing ever happened. Sad world we live in. Selfish fucking people period. I will not give my heart to a girl that doesn’t know what it means to be in a relationship, that thinks she was put on Earth to be catered to , I only go for girls that want to be a team , her and I VS the world , we work together not against each other , If I am not her top priority , she will not be mine , Life is too short to tolerate misery with someone that can not give their heart the same way you give them yours. I realize so am perfectly capable of taking care of myself , I work , I pay my bills , I appreciate the things I have earned , when a girl comes on to me with her hand out , I tell her to go fuck herself , So many girls I have dated just want money not love and commitment , I no longer fall for that shit , if she doesn’t have a job and can’t provide for herself Good luck to you , you are not my problem
You csn say whatever you want but if every single relationship you come across is this way or ends very badly early, then it would likely mean there is something either wrong with you or how you select women. There are so many other people who are in long term relationships, getting married, starting families. Why would you be the only one who can't seem to keep a relationship?
You definitely sound extremely jaded. But in all honesty, i think you probably ARE making mistakes in dating
There needs to be more than just chemistry and attraction. There also needs to be maturity, compatibility, having the right values, similar goals / desires.
Like i said, go for an older woman. They tend to make more stable, serious, better lovers than young girls. You're too mature for these young kids
I know you haven't. Because thats not the way older women generally behave. Look for someone financially stable, has a good job, no kids, mature, knows what she wants, and is serious about finding a husband. Dont look for little girls trying to play around... dating guys they never intend on marrying... immature people who try to play games, throwing tantrums over the pettiest things. This is based off of what i am hearing you say.
if its not working, then you must change how you pick the women you date. if you refuse to fix what you're doing wrong... you're always gonna be meeting bitchy immature women. Start looking at things such as maturity, age, financial stability, compatibility, having similar goals / values instead of blindly dating random young girls who are just looking to have fun.
@nastyb you are a perfect example of women not taking accountability, blaming the victim, and someone that no man should ever listen to under any circumstances.
Stop looking for excuses to justify making the wrong decisions. There HAS to be something wrong with how you select women if every single relationship you come accross ends badly very early
If you're not gonna change your mistakes, you're just gonna keep making the same mistakes
And i honestly doubt you're as good at reading people as you claim
@nastyb what mistake did I make? I have been happily married for many years while you have never had a real relationship in your sad, lonely life. You are projecting your utter failure onto me.
The last girl I was with I met while I was working , she was close On age and we were dating and having a bunch of sex for about 6 months , things were great between us , until her husband knocked on my door. So she kept that a secret from me the whole time we were Together , she wasn’t the only girl that lied to me about being single , so just goes To show girls’ can be selfish as hell as well. So we never truly know what someone’s true intentions are and we never really know of someone is lying to us , all we can do is keep trying
Try meeting people in groups where you both share common interests. Go for a mature person who is financially stable, no kids. Or ask your friends / acquaintances about who they can recommend to you. Both these ways of finding a partner is statistically proven to have a much higher marital success rate than approaching random people in public
In fact, approaching is one of the LEAST effective ways to meet the right person.
I've not given up completely; but I rarely actively pursue anymore. I have my favorites, including a certain gal on this site. But outside of that, I'm not pursuing very proactively anymore. Got too much else to worry about, and I'm getting too old for needless extra stress.
I have given up. After searching for 7 years, I haven't had one relationship. The personality that I need in a guy simply doesn't exist.
People love acting like the non stop search for a partner is an fun process. IT REALLY isn't. It is EXHAUSTING to go on so many dates with guys from internet dating. It is sad when I smile at a guy i am interested on, only for him to stare back blankly with no facial expression or to just ignore me like he saw nothing. Its so sad for the reality that plenty of men lie to women that he is interested in her just so that he can use her for sex. Its discouraging to meet so many guys who just dont come anywhere near what I am looking for in a potential spouse.
The loneliness that comes with being single-doing almost everything entirely alone or constantly having to wait for someone to do things with you.
People love acting like being single and looking is so sexy and glamorous. Its really not. The search is an EXHAUSTING process. My advice is By a certain age, just settle for someone good enough but not your dream girl. Otherwise, you will spend the rest of your life being lonely, needy, and exhausted from the search
sad tragedy you didn't learn in 7 years. if your ideal is hard to find set a different realistic goal not all the listed requirements. and intimacy isn't using because lady enjoys too. using is when they don't benefit. silly phrase that, using.
Vast majority of women dont like hookups. They just put up with it cus they know they won't be able to get a guy interested if she keeps saying no to sex.
That you haven't been able have a single serious relationship in your entire adult life means YOU are the problem, not men. And obviously you shouldn't be giving relationship advice to anyone.
@strateguy632 I agree and I've Always put in effort to the best of my ability but I can tell you men around me don't put in effort, that's why they just say we are too high maintenance
I gave up with relationships in the mid 90's, for men since the 80's they have always been high risk - low return, and I'd hate to be a guy in his 20's today because its even higher risk - even lower return, with #METOO, and the legal system stacked against him, the best thing he could do is totally focus on his career, with a warning - If women who would not have given you the time of day previously suddenly start flirting and giving you attention, LOOK OUT they are trying to find some guy to 'settle' for, love is the last thing on their minds.
I've never really been a person that actively felt the need to search for a relationship and I have had only one relationship so far. It ended but that doesn't mean that relationships for some people are cursed. So I guess my answer to this question is no I haven't given up on relationships but I am not even forcing or wanting the relationship to happen if that makes sense.
Yeah, if you find a healthy person who actually cares about what they can do for you, then yes it is worth it.. I haven't given up cause there are 4 billion women on this planet, surely there are millions of good single women out there. I only need to find one.
I gave up long ago and several times. Im married now, so no, relationship is consistent and takes effort.
It's not easy, if it was easy, everyone have one. It means change, so get used to that.
Are they worth it... yes... what it means is you will learn, change, evolve, find someone to love... and that means you'll learn to love. There's many benefits, but there's tradeoffs too. Overall, it's worth it.
So be glad and thankful for what you have, be hopeful and make effort if you want something more.
I was alone for decades. I had friends, kept busy and such. But I still remember those days sitting on my porch with my cats. I like cats, but they are aren't so fun to go out to eat with, or vacation or talk with and I'm allergic to their fur. they never take real baths. I was lonely and I'd fill my time with anything. Dinner was whatever I'd throw together, purposesless ness and I did everything myself. That be harder now that I'm older. I'm living a good live in many more dimensions than if I was alone with 2 cats. Relationship means sharing, having someone to talk with, be concerned about and for and share, have dreams and goals, etc.. It's better... Bible: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.
Sadly, I kind of quit. The good guys are too shy and the confident ones always end being users, abusive or both. I'm at the point where I don't even trust my own instincts anymore because every thing crashes and burns every time.
@rebeliouse I posted a poll about flirting with a guy via eye contact whether that was attractive or desperate and most of the men said that was desperate. Men want women to approach them but still see women who do so as desperate. I really don't have time for the nonsense.
well who ever told u it was desperate they are idiots and prob the wankers u dont want to be with to get with the shy nice guys u have to make the move the guys that prob answered that women who make move are desperate are prob alpha wanker males
@rebeliouse I have actually usually liked the shy types and used to be fine makong the first move. They were insecure, moody, emotionally abusive and manipulative. I don't deal with shy guys. Reserved, humble but confident is what I want. Not shy.
I wouldn’t say I gave up, but I have to be motivated to put in effort and have to see reciprocal interest. I’m currently pursuing a girl I’ve known for about 30 years ever since we were in high school. I’ve been spending more and more time with her over the past year, especially the past few months since I moved back near where she lives. I didn’t intend to, but it just worked out that way due to my work.
okay- I had a string of bad relationships one year. It was a crazy time in my life. Finally after going out with this girl that was just playing games with me I decided to give up dating for a while, maybe forever.
As a forever single dude in his early thirties who does hermit... it's lonely and depressing and the lack of intimacy and physical interaction takes a hit to you mentality. I haven't given up... i just want a relationship based on getting to know each other, rather than based on sex because the sex during the 1 night stand was good. Sadly most ghost to the idea of getting to know someone... dating society is all messed up nowadays.
@charliefretz329 I gave up on relationships after reading horror stories about celebrities going through painful divorce. I also gave up on relationships because I value the freedom of wearing clothes with lots of holes over being in love with a mature woman.
Yeah. My life is to messed up to even thinking on finding a partner and believe it will be a functional relationship. With all the crap I am passing through, it's better to keep alone.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I'd prefer having casual sex with a regular friends with benefits over having a relationship at this stage of my life.
A relationship isn't worth it if it doesn't contribute to your personal life and goals.
I've given up. Women are too difficult to deal with. Understandings are constantly being elevated and changing. I'm tired of putting up with their demands. It just is not worth it.
Aslında vazgeçtim diyemem ama insanlardan bıktığım için ve üzülmekten korktuğum için olabilir olur da olmayabilir de zihniyetiyle yaşıyorum ama elbette mutlu olurum.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
double ewe tee eff are you serious? didn't believe in them to start with. i mean like oh em gee its a hole. im not looking for an emotional journey through my windswept and interesting inner life.
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