Is it ok for my boyfriend to share a tent with another girl?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend was at a 21st party and phoned to tell me he was going to share a tent with another girl. Apparently she didn’t know many people and so didn’t really have anyone else’s to share it with.
He is now best friends with her on Snapchat and one of her house mates told me the he goes round to her house quite a bit. I have told him I think that it is a bit strange but he says I am being silly and he would have no problem if it was the other way round. Am I overthinking it.

[Finchie40]

No it’s not ok , if he valued and respected the relationship with you, he wouldn’t be hanging out with this other girl on a regular basis period , and making plans to sleep with her in a tent without you there , and the fact that you were not invited to that party? is another Huge Red Flag, Do yourself a favor and Dump His sorry ass period. He is clearly being up to no good and
Doesn’t respect you , Never settle for someone that does not make you their top priority period , Do not fall for his bullshit. When a guy or girl values and appreciates and loves the person they are with in a relationship , opposite sex friends should no longer be a top priority in your life the second you choose To be in a relationship and they should never come before your partner period. when you are single you can prioritize and do whatever you want but when you choose to be in a committed relationship with someone , Your partner should be your Best friend and Top Priority over everyone else period. It has nothing to do with trust , people that say what you don’t trust me? Those are people you should not trust period , because they are Clearly selfish people that only think of themselves , so it has nothing to do with Trust , it comes down to respect for each other, what your boyfriend is doing to you is very disrespectful to you and the relationship period. Do yourself a favor and kick him to the curb where he belongs and realize you deserve someone that chooses you over everyone else period , your boyfriend is choosing this other Girl over you , Get rid of him

[Flatmanlewis]

That’s really up to you. It also depends heavily on the people involved. Despite female opinions we (as men) do not want to bed every woman we come across. It may simply be the way things happened. The fact he told you about it kind of leads me to believe it’s a big nothing. Yet, if this is done babe he has a crush on, then maybe it’s not so cool. In the end, only you can decide if this is okay.


I kind of wonder though if this is a coed trip why you didn’t go?

[Asker]

It was a party that I wasn’t invited to.

[Flatmanlewis]

Okay. Is that because it’s his social circle and you never socialize within it? Are these all long term friends? Still seems odd he wouldn’t invite you if it’s coed.

[Anonymous]

red flag alert. he only told you so he wouldn't feel guilty. but now he has overstayed his welcome and is snapchatting her. and goes to her house! come on...

[DermalPunch]

A bit strange. Hahahaha. He's gutsy to dog you in your face and gaslight you like it's nothing.

[DermalPunch]

Anyway, I dated a guy like this. He's cheating.

[AviatorTom]

If you don't trust your boyfriend and think that he is nailing her, he probably is.

[HippoDino]

He probably is interested in her. If he snaps her more than you, and she goes to his place often. Im guessing he only told you about the tent because you had other friends on the trip, or he wants to make it appear like he's innocent. No guy spends that much time with a girl alone when he's in a relationship with someone.

[Staximus]

He says you're being silly because he's probably up to no good. Part of being in a relationship is being considerate of the other person's feelings. He shouldn't be going over to some other girl's house all the time, especially if he's going by himself and not with other friends. What are you supposed to think? He sure as hell wouldn't like it if you were going over and hanging out at some other guy's house all the time. He's probably screwing her, give that bum the shake.

[GrikGad]

I think if he would be planning something with her he wouldn't of tell you. But even if he doesn't have something in his mind like doing something with her, it can happen anyway.

Men and Women can't be just friends especially if they're close together day to day.

[Mach40]

Trust your boyfriend if you genuinely trust him, and consider meeting the girl to better understand their friendship.

[boggboss]

All u can ask is if u trust him and has he given u readon to question his loyalty or trust meh or if your comftble with your partner doing this

[Asker]

I think I can trust him but if I wouldn’t share a tent with another boy, even if he didn’t know many people. Neither would I ask a male friend to share a tent with me who had a girlfriend, especially when I had never met her. And it upsets me that he can’t see why I feel the way I do.

[boggboss]

I could see why u would be upset although I think and this is me guessing as I do t know your man but I would probably do the same if I was in hos situation I'm engaged and I know othing would happen so it's safest to share a tent as for him becoming close with her after is what I would see as shadey but if he has given u no reason to question him not really sure what to say has he told u that he goes to her house

[Asker]

Thanks! No he didn’t tell me he was going to her house, her housemate told me he had been round a few times. I was jut wondering if I was over reacting! Thanks for help

[boggboss]

See thats unacceptable as if others are contacting you to say about what he us doing even if he is doing nothing its looking shadey

[RealMarek]

It’s not okay. It’s like sharing a bed with someone and saying there is nothing wrong with it.

[Unit1]

The moment he gaslit you and you were told he goes to her house sometimes is the moment that shouldn't be tolerated. I get cheating vibes from it.

[GoodEnoughThen]

Where is the gaslighting in this scenario?

[Unit1]

@GoodEnoughThen more like the act of deflecting her concerning statement rather than actual gaslighting. I don't think we have a much better word for it.

[GoodEnoughThen]

You are referring to, "He said I'm being silly...". OK, I got you now. Thank you for clarification.

[Unit1]

@GoodEnoughThen you're welcome. I kinda used this word to see if someone could come up with a better word

[genericname85]

i mean he's being transparent. don't you think if he was trying to betray you, he wouldn't have told you about it?

[jahaims]

It could go either way but either way you trust him or you don't. Don't date someone you don't trust.

[Nifrayu]

There's nothing wrong with it sharing a tent with a friend.

[Asker]

I suppose I would be fine with that if it was sold friend of his that he had known for a while but she is a fairly new friend and I have never met her, whereas I have met some of her other friends. I would never share a tent with a good male friend of mine oh I knew he had a girlfriend.

[Nifrayu]

Interesting. I don't have any hang-ups about that. I would be equally comfortable sharing a tent with any of my friends. Unless they have a snoring problem.

[hbkfan]

If you trust him enough to not do anything with this girl then sure why not it's all about trust when it comes to relationships

[Wise4myage]

That's not s good idea, and it sounds like he is up to no good. Why is going to her house?

[Asker]

They are friends - at uni so it’s a shared house not just her there. But I have never met her.

[Wise4myage]

Ok, thanks.

[Anonymous]

They have already fucked and they'll never tell, nothing you can do about it now.

[collie22]

true

[Shamalien]

Not a fan of this. I think he’s fkn u around

[shades777]

best friends my ass, she probably sucked him up in that tent and they been best buds ever since

[EmmaMary]

Why were you not at the party with him?

[Asker]

I wasn’t invited!

[EmmaMary]

All sounds a little suspicious to me... Makes you wonder whether this was all set up and arranged beforehand.

[WhitneySnow]

That would bother me

[FunkyMonkee]

That depends on his intent.

[balyai]

That's not fine since he is in a relationship