Have you ever been in a relationship where the guy seemed like he had different personalities. Sometimes like Dr. Jekel and mister Hyde?

[sage2021]

[Der_Ritter]

My girlfriend has said that about me. I think it can stem from unsureness about the relationship, trying too hard, getting frustrated at her lack of trying and the imbalance that things create. It usually leads to snapping, resentment, generally despondent behaviour.

It's not bipolar or borderline personality, it really was that I cared too much and when things weren't working I'd lose all interest in trying so I'd bounce between very encouraged, lovey, sexually insatiable and confident to disinterested, easy to anger, distant, and even cruel.

Since then things have stabilized and smoother over and it stemmed from her liking our age difference and power difference in the relationship and my dominance and I felt kind of objectified in the sense I represented something to her she wouldn't let me truly be. Playing into what she wanted me to be but then having arbitrary barriers and limits put in my way so it'd all be an act while not letting be anything else.

It made me feel trapped and locked in an identity cage where I couldn't be myself if I wanted her to find me as attractive as I would like her to be.

In short making your man feel trapped or not trying to compromise and show effort will cause someone to go back and forth between "personalities" as some men do try their hardest and then they hit the wall and can't keep their mask on anymore that they're happy and well adjusted.

I'm not saying this is what it is but in my own experience and with friends us men don't want to communicate our feelings because women don't respect when a man shows any tiredness or emotions so we don't even as a precaution as it usually does us more harm than good.

So this could be what's happening or not at all, but it wouldn't hurt for you to point out the behaviour and ask if something is going on that makes him act contradictory. For me it was fatigue and conflictedness.

Try to just find out why and try to solve it, life and communication doesn't have to be so vague, cryptic and difficult

[ohsheeT]

There are people who meet other people and start dating because of what they look like


There are people that get to know the person on the inside and they date them because they like that person that's who they truly are is that person right there

[Ms_Facesitter]

I love both his sides. Side 1 he is usually very calm, polite, considered and calculated. Careful and focused. To a stranger he is just the quiet kid in the room.

And sometimes he goes from this quiet introvert guy to this extrovert super open guy that can light up the whole room and becomes the life of the party and the center of attention. He's the last person you'd expect this from. He's the same but extrovert and wilder.

I wonder if that is his true self. Like a bundle of emotions and thoughts he just keeps to himself.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My boyfriend before we got together was Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde. He would be so sweet overly confident free and sexy one minute when he was really drunk and then cold and standoffish towards me when he wasn't drunk.

Now he's better at being freer. It's like when we finally made things official and he stopped drinking as much, he became more complete and more of himself. It was weird.

[Fireguy17]

no but that sounds like an ex girlfriend that I had.
Fine on minute, and a raving lunatic the next then it was like nothing happened.

[Likes2drive]

No but my stepdad is like that because he drinks at night and also gets high in the evening too so he acts different during the morning and daytime

[madhatters4]

i was. she would be really happy, excited OR really down, somber.

we learned (together) she was bipolar. not saying this is the sitch with your guy necessarly

[sage2021]

madhatters4
My guy suddenly died last month. But he was definitely a Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde personality. Maybe on top of his ADHD he was bipolar too. It was weird.

[madhatters4]

goodness. so sorry to hear about that.

[sage2021]

@madhatters4
He wasn't ever moody or seemed depressed. In fact no matter what was going on, he always remained chipper, smile on his face, singing sometimes. I thought it was strange. But he swore by the that the glass is always half full.

[SakuraBlossoms87]

@sage2021 - what was weird about it? It's typical bipolar behavior. His conduct of always been "chipper" is called mania. Maybe you should educate yourself on illnesses before you date someone so you actually contribute to their life.

[madhatters4]

@SakuraBlossoms87 she didn't list symptoms/behaviors so it isn't clear bipolar.

[SakuraBlossoms87]

@madhatters4 - you've obviously no medical training

[madhatters4]

@SakuraBlossoms87 i work in the medical field. illustrate one medical symptom or behavior she noted that would be the medical basis for a bipolar diagnosis.

[SakuraBlossoms87]

@madhatters4 the reference of different personalities, Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde, up and down, etc. is the BASIC definition of bipolarism. Any half brained idiot can google the symptoms. If you are indeed in the medical field I seriously suggest you QUIT & go back to school before you endanger someone's life.

[madhatters4]

@SakuraBlossoms87 she never said up or down, she said he acted like Jekyll and Hyde (who was not bipolar). she said he ADHD. and she said, and i'll quote "He wasn't ever moody or seemed depressed. In fact no matter what was going on, he always remained chipper, smile on his face, singing sometimes. I thought it was strange. "

never moody, depressed. in fact no matter what he was chipper. so the guy may have been bipolar but the QA has not stated a single symptom of bipolar disorder

haha. i don't know how i would endanger someone's life in my field of work but good on you for pretending to think you know

[SakuraBlossoms87]

@madhatters4 - you say you're medical but don't know what mania is? Uneducated. Go back to school please.

[madhatters4]

@SakuraBlossoms87 i didn't say i was medical. what is medical? and you call me uneducated?
you clearly didn't address the last statement so we understand you're just talking out your a**. nice try. swing and miss

[FunkyMonkee]

No, I've never dated a guy. I used to have a brother-in-law that was like that! Mr. Wonderful one minute and a fucking flaming asshole the next!

[Anonymous]

Yes in any relationship I’ve experienced, all of three. Single for almost 15 years. Not interested in seeing how a fourth would turn out.

[Jennz6]

Yes, I know what you’re talking about

[sage2021]

Jennz6
Once you've seen the other side of them it's best to get away right away. Stupid me, I stay and try to figure him out. But I don't stay very long.
Jen,
What was your experience like?

[Jennz6]

@sage2021 guys are really nice when I first meet them and then they become aggressive and mean

[sage2021]

@Jennz6
I think guys in this day and time feel they have to be a masculine type of guy or they are a girly bot type.
Yelling at ladies like us makes them feel masculine I'm guessing.
My last boyfriend used to be so sweet, then the transgender thing happened and he would yell at me when he never used to.
He started yelling more and louder and wouldn't let me have a word in edge wise.
Then I screamed over him and said "You are taking away my First Amendment Right by not letting me talk. Guess what? It worked and he shut up and I got speak.

[jahaims]

Nope. Sounds manic/bipolar

[sage2021]

@jahaims
I did some reading about manic episodes and bipolar. That did not match his symptoms. He was always cheerful and happy - glass is always full kind guy. But he did a lot of things the past seven years that kept hurting me. He used to apologize years ago, then he just quit saying he was sorry.

[Jmmmfi4]

SOUNDS LIKE ME

[Pudsmucker]

My wife.