Is it normal that I am not interested or unable to commit to a serious long term relationship?

[JanetMaree]

I’m a 28 year old woman I’m currently in a relationship I can’t do it. I have a hard time committing to someone. I don’t like the Long phone calls , texting constantly seeing him almost everyday, it feel like a burden to have to answer to someone. I love freedom. I feel like Situationships are more for me it’s just casual and no serious commitment I can text back when I want say no when I don’t want to hang out cuz I’m not in the mood , where in a relationship that’s would probably offend my current boyfriend. I kinda want to part ways from my boyfriend and live the single life or just do me. I don’t like this at all I’m more annoyed than happy.

[DaveJord]

Well at 47 it's not about my ability to commit honestly. I was married once for 24 years... but I tell all that I can tell do not consider marriage until at least 26, but you're better off waiting to 32 to 36.

So in divorce, I am back in the dating world. Like 17 different women in two years. Only had sex with 5 of them. I have learned so much about myself, women and people in general... like I can see how its such a bad thing.

Like I tell women now, I got nothing but time to take it easy and slow... like maybe once or twice a month we should go out and see where it goes from there over time. Like I am not texting every day, but over time we can figure that out.

But stop saying you are unable or not interested... I mean it's not true, unless you make it true... but your 28 so go out there and live that life. Just be upfront and honest with guys about it.

[Der_Ritter]

I'll keep this one short.

Find someone you actually like and can be friends AND partners with and maybe that level of involvement won't be so bad.

OR

Maybe you need to find someone more chill and laid back who doesn't need to be around you constantly. HOWEVER, be prepared for the possibility if you expect that level of distance that he may be someone who simply talks to whoever he wants.

Take a look at what you want out of life and whatever you choose just be honest with people and ask yourself if the commitment issue is because you don't want to be with just one person or if it's just that you need to be so at a distance and less frequently.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's just that you don't love him anymore (which is fine) or you really just need space for yourself, which is also FINE AND HEALTHY. People are too brainwashed by society to think they have to constantly be in a relationship until they marry have kids and die. It's not a shame at all to be single. I would say you don't even have to wear the "single" label you're just you, by yourself. You're enough by yourself and don't have to be defined by a lack of partner. If you need that time and space for yourself, to breathe and to just enjoy your own life without being the half of someone else, it's fine. Not abnormal or damaged or whatever stupid shit men who are scared about somehow loosing you as an option will tell you. I'm around your age and if I get single again, I won't rush myself and will just live my life at my own pace.

[sage2021]

Some people have commitment phobia.
The other thing is come closer, go away. As soon as the other person gets too close you feel smothered. But when you send them away, you start to miss them and want to be with them again.
I don't know what the answer is for you. In this day in time there are more people like you are, and in the 90's it was plentiful. In the older days, like the 50's, etc., I don't think commitment phobia was that prevalent.

[HippoDino]

Sounds like the relationship with him is the issue, you can find a boyfriend who also enjoys their alone time, and isn't so interested in talking to you as much as he can. But it also sounds like you don't really want to commit anyway so maybe dating isn't for you in your current mindset.

[MikeTheBartender]

I am in the same boat as you, what is normal these days anyway? I don't think the question should be is it normal, I think the question should be are you happy? And if you are then who cares if it's normal or not. Answer mine if you have a sec

What is your vision of heaven?

[GOOSEBOY78]

you have just reached the point where: he ain't meant for you.
if you can see yourself without him, means you werent meant for him. tell him so the both of you can move on.

you will know when you found the one for you because you will find that you can't live without them.

[exitseven]

Having a significant other has a lot of advantages. It also has responsibilities. Your boyfriend is not just a fashion accessory, he is a person with feelings and needs. If you are not willing to put in the work to have a relationship then you need to break up with this guy and stop wasting his time.

[ManOnFire]

It could be that you're just finding out more and more who you are. Maybe you're finding that even though relationships seem nice and romantic, you just like being on your own more, which is perfectly okay.

[SexyBrunetteNY]

He's not the one for you. Simple. Be who you are and be happy about it. No need to frame it not normal.

[DextroShade]

This is what happens to women when they have too many bodies. Instead of a future with love and family you will now have only cats and wine. You won't be happy, but you brought this on yourself.

[KBird]

Yeah its normal. Im the same way. Be your own boss <3

[slatyb]

"it feel like a burden..." Then you are with the wrong person. Most people aren't so needy.

[LiamJHayden]

Relationships require some level of sacrifice. Some of us are not cut out for a deep level of that. So it is normal for you if you are in that group.

[jeffend888]

I mean, it’s up to you what you want to do with your life.

However, you are going to have extreme levels of regret in 5 years.

[SUMAIREBRAHIM]

Yes , i have seen this a lot of women have similar issues now

[cloud9vortex1234]

You probably don't love him then. People are willing to put in the work for people they love.

[he-takes-a-part]

Same here. Meet me every night in the parking lot just for 20 mins.

[LostA__Aryen18]

Some people are just not interested and that is okay

[Anonymous]

I am at 36 the same so yeah... i get bored very easily of women, they all thing they are so great..

[gamerboy1x]

Sorry im here for the exp lol

[YAsQuen]

damaged women 101