Why do guys get addicted to live cam apps?

[Hello4242]

My boyfriend lied to me about not having them. I got pregnant and found out he’s still on them. He wanted the baby, cried. I obviously can’t keep it with a cheater.

this dude chose this stupid addiction over me and his baby. Why?

[Guanfei]

Depends. Most guys go there for a wank while watching someone, it's a bit like porn, but interactive.

Then there's me, who go there for the tits, sure, but who spent a lot of time talking to the girls. Actually talking so much that I already got banned for a live because the girl would just talk to me instead of doing things, and people in the chat got angry.

I guess there's a feeling of both intimacy and interaction. Something men rarely receive IRL, including from their girlfriend/wives. We get a girl in an intimate situation, who gives us attention and often compliments or nice words. Of course it's not genuine, but we don't get those things very often, so we take what we can.

I don't know your situation, so it's just something I'd tell you to check closely. He obviously wants to be with you, even have a kid with you, so there's no doubt you're important. Try to check if he just doesn't feel neglected, lonely, deprived of attention and affection. Maybe, pregnant as you are, you didn't feel like giving him that attention, and he went to look for it where he knew he'd find it: on his cam sites.

[Hello4242]

I know he’s deeply insecure, so that could play a part. He uses Joi and Meete. Is that what they are for?

He told me that my insecurity is a turn off and that’s why he uses them and that it’s hard for him to picture me. I thought that was cruel and abusive beyond belief and I haven’t talked to him since he said that.

I always had a massive gut feeling he was doing something behind my back, so ya I was always worried. But he was using those apps the whole time he was with me and even before.

He’s SOO addicted to those apps that he chose them over me and the baby. He lied about using them, was mean and blamed me. And he NEVER told me he would stop using them or try and stop using them. He even tried saying it wasn’t cheating. Thats how bad this addiction is. I could understand a drug addiction ways before i can understand this.

[Guanfei]

Well I know JOI means basically Jerk Off Instruction. Which is indeed intimate as it's a girl directly talking to you, telling you how to jerk off.
What are your insecurities? Because if that means you're too insecure for any kind of intimacy, maybe he's looking somewhere else for what he can't get from you.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Watching porn is normal, but talking with whores while they strip on cam is definitely cheating.

I don't understand why he needs to do that, even porn is meant to be used as a "we should try this" tool, or as a "honey isn't home or horny atm, so porn it is" tool.

Its not supposed to be a way to cheat or replace your SO...

[Hello4242]

Im honestly so disturbed and disgusted that guys think this isn’t cheating.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

To be honest, that’s a good way to filter out what kind of men will get reproduced.

If he prefers the imaginary people over a real woman by his side, he’s not really the “breeding” material. The future generations don’t need him. Let him go and find a man worth of having.

[Apple1996]

Wow he is a complete loser to be choosing porn over the woman carrying his child

[AnusNdaPainus]

How so?
Do you have sperm?
How much can your body hold before it needs to release it?
Would he be less of a loser to expect her to give him some ass whenever he wanted it?

[Apple1996]

She's pregnant so they can have unlimited sex without worrying

[AnusNdaPainus]

And do you have sex with your boyfriend/husband every time he wants it?

NO!

Because if you did that’s all he would do

Women need to understand male puberty better
We are just bitch slapped out of nowhere with a freight train of hormones and horniness

If we had the ease of access to sex like women do it’s all we would do

Sex isn’t something we want it’s something we are biologically inclined to want to keep the species going

[Apple1996]

@AnusNdaPainus I'm always available for sex to my husband lol and no it's not all he does. He's less sexual than most guys because it's not hard for him to get it

[AnusNdaPainus]

Elaborate.

Because that’s the same thing most women say

[Hello4242]

Ignore this guys he’s a loser

[Apple1996]

@AnusNdaPainus most women are sexual beings and enjoy sex just as much as men

[AnusNdaPainus]

But you don’t want it as often

[Apple1996]

@AnusNdaPainus I want it more than my husband

[AnusNdaPainus]

Do you? Or is it just more socially acceptable for you to want it than it is for him?

[Apple1996]

@AnusNdaPainus yes obviously I don't care about what is socially acceptable behind closed doors

[AnusNdaPainus]

You don’t need to the point is what is socially acceptable for boys isn’t the same as women meaning the conditioning is different

[Curiousminds2017]

IMHO, he more than likely didn’t choose it over you. He simply found it arousing and engaging.
If I may ‘assume’ for him-
You and the baby probably fulfill a reality that no webcam could ever come remotely close to.
Fantasy and Reality are two aspects of peoples lives.

Don’t give the webcams more credit than they deserve. They are simply a stimulant that comes to an end quickly. It only serves a purpose.

Family, friends and reality is where the true substance of Life is. Surely he knows this.

Everything needs to be kept in its right perspective.

[Hello4242]

These are live girls on apps he’s talking to live. Porn is one thing, engaging with real girls is another. He lied to me about it and he knew that was risking our relationship. Therefore he did choose that over me.

[Curiousminds2017]

He lied because he was scared of your reaction and is afraid of confrontation.
I understand that is the porn are Live girls. It still holds true that it’s a fantasy in his head. For instance- the girls are still acting/working. They don’t want your man. He doesn’t want them as a girlfriend or wife. It’s sex play.

You and the baby are much more significant to him than that is. He isn’t looking for a relationship with the Live Cam Girls.

Having said all that- If he doesn’t want to stop or can’t stop and you want a relationship with someone who doesn’t do those things then it’s time to get out of the relationship with him. He can’t give you the love, dedication and loyalty that you are desiring.

[Curiousminds2017]

Soooo…….
I just scrolled down and saw some other comments.

Some people are saying you aren’t meeting his sexual needs.
We don’t know your sexual life.

But let’s take two scenarios into account.

You may be the hottest, sexiest woman he has ever had the privilege to actually touch. If he has insecurities, ego issues, emotional issues, psychological issues, the list could go on.
If he isn’t mature he would still “cheat”.
(What is considered “cheating” is predetermined/understood by the two parties involved in the relationship)

If you are unattractive, mean, annoying or not sexually attracted to him or angry with him so you don’t respond or initiate sexual activity with him. If he were a healthy mature individual he would address these things with you and try to repair his relationship with you. He wouldn’t just “cheat”.

My point is that this isn’t a you problem it’s a him problem. No one can MAKE someone cheat. That’s ridiculous to think someone can CAUSE someone else to cheat. That’s a ‘blame the other person for my own action’ excuse.

[SakuraBlossoms87]

Obviously you've little to no standards or self respect.

You already knew he had a problem. Yet you decided to have a baby with a guy who had so little respect for you & your relationship that he has to talk to whores online.

What do you want, a cookie or a dunce cap? You're the one that made the decision to have a baby with a loser so be responsible. And while at it kindly get your tubes tied.

[AnusNdaPainus]

Do you beat him off?
do you please him orally?
men need sex it is nonnegotiable.
an asshole would’ve left you

or found another woman

this guy was considerate enough to Just jerk off behind your back

I think you are overreacting but I don’t know the entire situation because I don’t know his side

[Hello4242]

Uhh. You really don’t consider talking to live girls cheating? For all I know he’s emotionally cheating on me with them to. For all I know he’s getting their numbers. Even if neither is the case, another girl is interacting with him live to get him off. This is most definitely cheating. Im concerned for any man’s moral compass if they really don’t see anything wrong with this.

[AnusNdaPainus]

What have you done?

I know men

And this sounds like another neglected man

[Anonymous]

Because the Sex Urge is the strongest inborn habit we have. Strong in terms of emotion. It undermines one's ability to make decisions and thinking logically. That's why people who are in love do stupid, crazy things. Love is another strong one. Even if he wants to stop watching porn he probably can't.

Just tell him to watch normal prerecorded porn

[Tyler273]

It's porn... it's not cheating. I'm my books it's okay to watch. If my girlfriend still watched porn, I don't mind, as long as I know I am doing enough sexually for her. What you should be more concerned about it how much it could costs and putting that money towards the baby instead

[Hello4242]

Using apps to talk to and got off to live girls isn’t cheating?

[Tyler273]

No it's not. It's impersonal that's why. The streamer doesn't give a fuck about your boyfriend apart from the money he's giving her, just another name on the screen really - interactive porn. If he was chatting one on one, maybe you have a case but I know some people would still would not consider that cheating as it is not physical.

[Hello4242]

Would you be okay with your girlfriend interacting live with another guy and getting off to him?

[Hello4242]

Honestly..

[Hello4242]

Also, you don’t know it’s impersonal. He has so many girls numbers in his phone and it’s unreal. I think a lot of them come from these live girls.

[Tyler273]

I would be okay with my girlfriend using cam apps. I don't know about the numbers. I think can girls have burner numbers so they can give it out to make guys feel special and extract more money from them. Why are you worried about if I'm okay with it and not how much money this is costing your relationship/family?

[Nikki1989]

Any man that chooses porn over his woman deserves to be alone forever.

[DannyUk2017]

Because you might NOT DO, what they do, or He might have some HIDDEN fetishes that you don't know about, and he is afraid to ask to fulfill as it might seem Weird for you. 🤷‍♂️

[bowenw]

That's how addictions work whether it's drugs, alcohol, porn, etc.

[Hello4242]

I could understand a drug addiction before i can understand this

[Unit1]

A B O R T I O N

Are you surprised he "wanted the baby"? That's how guys like that say things like that just to get sex. Junkies are like that.

[Hello4242]

What do you mean?

[Unit1]

That's what they say just to get sex "i want a baby" and not taking the relationship at least halfway seriously.

[Hello4242]

What? That’s a thing? Whys that necessary to do in a relationship, you’re obviously going to get sex either way.

[Unit1]

Yeah, i don't get it either. I'm not one to bullshit women like that just to get what i love. There are better ways without causing a bitter experience.

[glennos89]

That's kind off a fucked up situation then. He probably was already addicted to it before he met you perhaps🤷‍♂️

[Hello4242]

Already know he was

[Hello4242]

I cannot believe that there are guys on here saying there’s nothing wrong with it and that it’s not cheating. What the fuck.

[glennos89]

When you look livecams and actually interact with those girls I'm considere it cheating but when you are just watching it without any interaction between you and the person on a cam isn't cheating to me honestly. Watching porn isn't the same as cheating in my opinion

[glennos89]

But it's not good when you watch porn all the time leaving your partner untouched or craving affection from you. That isn't exactly what you should consider okay in a relationship

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

He wants the sex on porn cams with them girls, and he got you pregnant and sad to say, but you are stuck raising the child. No offense to the baby or you.

[Honest-Matt]

It's an addiction and he needs support and understanding, not ultimatums and conflict.

[noohair]

He had no physical contact and you call that cheating. And you are going to punish the unborn child for his illness? And you think he is f... ed up.

[Hello4242]

You seriously don’t consider talking to LIVE girls on video isn’t cheating?

[noohair]

Maybe on an emotional level, but to me cheating occurs when swapping fluids are involved. I can understand your point. Men today have been brain damaged by porn on the internet. It is an affliction and a real addiction. Maybe you can help him.

[Hello4242]

Watching another woman live to me is very much cheating. I cannot understand anyone who could think otherwise. These are apps by the way he’s using and paying for these girls.

[noohair]

That is the difference between the male brain and the female brain. I understand how you believe that you are right. And you are free to feel whatever you feel. How you can punish an innocent life growing in your body is what troubles me the most.

[Hello4242]

There are many guys who would agree with me. It’s not about male vs female brains.

[noohair]

It is about a difference of opinion, not right or wrong. You have free will and can leave any time that you choose.

[sheikalana]

As you said it's an addiction and he was not willing to give up on that addiction.

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆 And just think, you CHOSE him. Bet you feel pretty good about your decision making now. Or is it still conveniently, "not your fault".

[Anonymous]

I am not sure if watching porn is really cheating. I do not think it is.

[Hello4242]

Talking to live girls on dating apps isn’t cheating?

[BLP11520]

I don’t understand it. I. Know money is made and guys jerk off watching women

[Sunnybeach123]

Porn addict. He's damaged goods, I think.

[Anonymous]

Never know what might happen and is exciting it is live

[Danny_dan92]

I never saw the appeal

[ProbablyClueless]

It's interactive porn

[Analorr]

Typical guy… wants the sex that’s it.

[boobliker]

be thankful he's not out at the pub with one!