I'm in love with my guy friend. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Me and him have been friends for about a year now. I et him in French class at the beginning of last year and we kinda just clicked. I've been secretly in love with him since March or April of last year. He always acts really awkward when I give him a hug. I don't know if it's because he likes me or if he's just not a hugger. Anyways I really want to tell him, but I'm afraid that if I do and he rejects me, it'll make things awkward between us and I could lose one of the few friends that I have. Help Please🥺

[Cynicaldreamer]

Ouch, yeah it's 50/50: either he will feel the same, or say he rather be friends- which let's be real, it's awkward staying friends with someone that rejects you.

If you're afraid to ask him- have one of your friends ask on your behalf, or ask to hang out with him (probably this!) Ask him if he wants to go out together sometime, like to a movie, eat... just the two of you. And see how he responds. If he looks weirded out, or says, "Like a date?" in a bad way- quickly say others are coming too... and you'll have your answer, lol.

If he seems excited or doesn't mind- voila, he might like you too.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend started as my best friend. We used to hang out with another friend and then gradually it became just the two of us. Try hanging out with your friend one on one. Invite him over, go watch a movie at the theater, walk in the park, etc. If he is totally against it there is your answer. If you do hangout try casually touching his arm when you’re talking and see how he reacts, if he doesn’t pull away that could be a positive sign. Sometimes you just have to go for it otherwise you’re going to always wonder “what if” and trust me that’s worse. You can confess later once you spend more time together and if he doesn’t reciprocate that’s ok. It might become awkward but it is still better to get rejected and heal

[RingOfFire]

Love is a big word. There is a difference between love and infatuation. It may or may not be love in the real sense of the word. I would say just take it slow. If you spend time with him it doesn't matter if it about love or about friendship, it is still time together that you enjoy.

I would not tell him this. Let him decide where he wants to go with the relationship. By telling him that you jeopardize the relationship you have because he may not feel the same and it could push him away.

Relax, breathe, enjoy the friendship and let it flow. Eventually it will define itself.

[OlderAndWiser]

Tell him there is a restaurant you want to go to, but you don't want to go alone, and ask him if he would go with you. At the restaurant, sit side-by-side, if possible. Ask him if he will share a dessert with you. At the end of the evening, give him a hug, arms around his waist. Linger in the hug longer than normal. Them keep your arms around his waist, but pull your face back, look into his eyes, tilt your head slightly, and move your face slowly towards his face. Guess what happens next!

[Static_In_The_Attic]

In life if you never try you will never know & if you like someone don’t be afraid to tell them. On the flip side if your guy friend is already in a relationship telling him could make things a little weird between you two. If your guy friend isn’t in a relationship tell him how you feel because if you snooze you lose.

[Adaeva]

Just remain friends and nothing more. From what you said, it is obvious that he is out of your league and that he is not available to you. If he was in your league, you would know it. You always know when some guy that you are not interested in, is interested in you. You are just hoping someone can reply with magic and there is no magic.

[Monalisa77]

not true, sometimes u dont realize it till later when u can't do anything about it:(

[Adaeva]

@Monalisa77 You always know. You know at a glance when guys you would never consider, are interested in you if you would only give them a chance. Of course, you are not interested in those guys because you know you can do better.

[Monalisa77]

Nah im a slow coacher and im shy, id be happy with whoever showed an interest, the current guy i like just randomly started flirting with me outa nowhere

[Monalisa77]

Whenever i tell people a guy is flirting with me they assume im over reacting and theyre just being nice.. Im paranoid theyre using me or intend to hurt me, rather than not want to try anything

[Monalisa77]

But if it turns out i dont really like him in the end, its not really my fault. he's slightly different than the guys i usually like, you can't force yourself to fancy someone

[Adaeva]

@Monalisa77 You have more life experience than I do so I concede, you may be right at times and that I am not 100% right. Furthermore, I expressed an opinion based on my own experience with boys near my age where almost non-popular boys appear to like and are interested in me and other popular girls. I know if I were to ask any of them to walk me home or something similar, they would do it. When I stop and talk to them, they don't leave.

[RoseySarah]

Sounds like he likes you back suggest hanging out more or if your brave say you like him!

Love is so fun and exciting at your age!

Latter it's 20 dates looking for red flags and tapping on apps lmao.

Congrats 👏🎉 hope it works out! Maybe sneak him a cute note saying hugs even if you don't like them!

[Anonymous]

Consider sharing your feelings with your friend but choose a private and calm setting. Be honest but not pressuring. Be prepared for any response. Respect his boundaries and give him space to process if needed. Regardless of his response, aim to maintain the friendship.

[lorenzomichael]

Tell him how you feel. Go up to (Pierre) and say "Hey I get on your knees" . No I'm just kidding. Tell him how you feel, but don't come off to crazy by telling him you love him. Just tell him you think he's fine and you want to get to know him a little better.

[Anemone978]

I don't know.. He might not feel the same as you do because of how you mentioned the hugging.. I would maybe ask him if he likes anyone.. or maybe get another friend to ask him if he likes you or anything? Or just come out and tell him LOL

[LeQuebecois]

Tell him. Seriously.
Guys don't act on feelings because when we do it can get us in trouble
A lot of guys never speak to women at all because they are afraid of rejection or losing their job ir getting in other trouble...
So tell him.

[soe11]

• He playing push and pull style.
• May be he want more times to make a decision.
• He wanted to see your reaction.
• Many things possible.
• So continued your efforts.

[Guido]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I asked my best friend out and she and I have been together over 30 years. Tell him that you like him as more then a friend and would like to go out on a date with him. From my perspective, it's worth the risk.

[laraWM]

If you want to know, you'll need to tell him what you feel. I can't help more unfortunately

[007kingifrit]

men and women are only ever temporary friends, they must become more, or less, eventually. sit on his lap, lay your head on him. just get physically closer to him and it will happen

[Sasha0426]

Not in my case. None of the guys I befriended didn’t see me in that way.

[007kingifrit]

@Sasha0426 that's literally impossible, you mean they DID see you that way?

you probably didn't notice that they distanced themselves from you after you were married or in a relationship?

[Sasha0426]

I’ve never been in a relationship before, nor have I been married. They’re just not attracted to me like that. If they were, they would have done something or asked if I was single.

[007kingifrit]

@Sasha0426 ok exactly, once they can't have you they will distance from you

... how have you never been in a relationship at 31? that's not normal

"If they were, they would have done something or asked if I was single.
" no, many men are cowards

is there something i'm missing here? do you have some kind of chronic condition?

[Sasha0426]

No, nothing like that. Was I suppose to find someone when I was in high school or something?

[Sasha0426]

Because no one told what age I was suppose to find the love of my life. I don’t go by society’s standards.

[007kingifrit]

@Sasha0426 you should have found love by now. and it isn't society's standards. they are the mathematically ideal standards. the longer you wait the lower the standards you can expect from a man

[Sasha0426]

Well, looks like I’m dying single 🤷‍♀️

[Sasha0426]

Not everyone is meant to find someone.

[007kingifrit]

@Sasha0426 what have you been diagnosed with? serious question

[Sasha0426]

Let’s chat in the messages if you want. I think it’ll be easier. I’ll send you follow.

[007kingifrit]

@Sasha0426 sure

[DreamLife7]

Do not embarrass yourself. What is the point of u telling him? If a man likes you, you would know. He does not like u

[BLP11520]

Maybe get close enough for a kiss and whisper that you love him look into his eyes and see how he reacts. He won’t boot you out of his life for your being honest.

[Engin12]

You sound scared. Relax. If it makes you uncomfortable thats not love. It should be better than that.

[Asker]

You're right I am scared. Inly because I don't want to tell him and then it ends up ruining our friendship and potentially effecting other friendships. I only say this because there's a group of us that usually hang out together but he's the only guy. Also I don't have a whole bunch of friends as it is and he's one of the few that I'm actually somewhat close to. FYI I still haven't said anything to him about it.

[Arik_jade]

I think... he seems shy... so you should go ahead and tell him.

[In_Trance]

this is why guys and girls can't be friends. Happens all the time

[akidbyheart]

Ask him out casually because strategies will destroy your friendship.

[riverrat3]

Life is about taking chances, yes you could get hurt, but you will regret not trying

[Cancerbby92]

I think you should go for it.

[spartan55]

Maybe he is gay.