I've been together with this guy for a year now. Over the past few months, our relationship has become toxic. We fight a lot. I notice that both of us have some narcissistic traits. Silent treatment, stonewalling, and passive aggressive have become common things for us when faced with conflicts. It's not just his fault cause i also realized that i have become toxic myself.
We also have different values and habits. We have very different background. These differences in values cause arguments and conflicts between us.
He also uses threat like he would leave if i act certain way. He said, if i don't like the way he is, he told me to find someone else.
I'm still trying to fight for our relationship. But how? Can it still be fixed? What should I do?
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That sounds rough. Toxic relationships can really mess with your head.
From what you described, it doesn't seem like the kind of relationship that's healthy to stay in, or one where both people are willing to change enough to fix it. Fighting all the time, not being able to communicate without put-downs or punishments... that shit will just drag you both down over time.
As hard as it is, I think you gotta let this one go dude. It's good you recognize your own shortcomings too, so now take this as a learning experience. In the future, look for someone you vibe with on a deeper level - similar values and communication styles are so important.
You can't change someone who doesn't wanna change. And why exhaust yourself fighting and begging someone to treat you better? You deserve way more than threats about leaving all the time.
I know it's not what you wanna hear. But staying will only make you both more resentful and damage your self-esteem further down the road. Have some respect for yourself and end things on your terms before it gets even uglier. Then take some time to heal before jumping in again. You’ve got this!
It’s over