My husband and I have both been sterilized and have been together over 10 years. We have no regrets and love our life together. So why is it when some people find this out, they respond with hostility or condescension? It affects you in zero ways. Makes as much sense as getting upset at someone at subway for ordering a different sandwich than you.
what type of people do you and your husband kick it with? lol that's a VERY weird thing to be mad about. 🥴
it would only Affect YOU and your partner not anyone else.
for example when you're super old that you can't do things for yourself, the roles reverse when you have kids, it is your kids who take care of you as you did for them, this is the main downside i see with people who can't have kids or chose not to have kids, because as it is, even people's own kids sometimes don't want to care for their parents so a distant family member, a nephew a niece, most will have their own parents to take care of, or a stranger much less likely will want to take care of you, then you even if they are PAID to take care of the old, and they too even-though they chose that job, they still don't want to take care of old people and many times get caught mistreating them and most times the elderly are defenseless and have NOBODY to turn to to address the situation.
It's a scary thing to get old without having kids, for the most part kids have love for their parents and return the care you gave them, and if you are being mistreated somewhere they will likely try to find out and fix it but if you have nobody and your parter is just as old, they are pretty much in the same situation you are, as well as any friends you may have they will be just as old and likely will have some kids taking care of them , etc.
it's just a sad reality. Why would i or anyone get mad for you choosing that? that's beyond me, the only people who are reasonable to be worried are your parents who think of such situations as i stated before, who will be there for you and such... but other than that, it's really weird for anyone to get MAD at someone else if they are not your parent, for chosing not to have kids lol it's even funny to think someone is mad about it. like wtf? lol 😂 but just something to think about. The world has bad people in it in my opinion it's better to have kids if you CAN of course, but i won't get mad i dont' really care who chooses to have kids and who doesn't. I worry for myself only and try to give advice, people take it or not that's their choice.
Its just people I have encountered in passing. They generally dont stay in our circle for very long if they react this way. As for getting old, the vast majority of people aren't taken care of by their kids anyway. Hospice workers will tell you its very common for kids not to visit their elderly parents. Having kids for the sole reason of wanting a caretaker in your old age isn't just selfish, its a foolish investment with no guarantee of return. Im glad you agree, though, that its a ridiculous thing to be upset about. I am as perplexed as you are.
That must be so annoying! I guess it's because people are obsessed with having kids. Some people believe that everybody should have children. It's crazy!
For most people having kids is a choice, just like NOT having kids is (I'm NOT talking about abortion). Just let people live their lives like they want to!
It really is, a few people like that are in the comments here too. I have yet to hear a valid reason for this phenomenon. It all seems to come down to a need for conformity, misogyny, jealousy, or religion.
I agree with you. It's for all of these reasons. Just live your life, it's none of their business.
Besides, they'll always act as if they're right and you and your husband are wrong. It's ridiculous!
My sister is one of the people who gets angry when someone says they don't have or they don't want kids.
Oof, sorry to hear that. Hopefully she's nice the rest of the time. Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. I'll try not to let them get under my skin.
Thank you. No, she's not a nice person at all. š¬ And worse she treats my niece like crap because she never wanted to be a mother. š¤¦š¾āāļøš¤¦š¾āāļøš¤¦š¾āāļø
You're welcome. I know it's easier said than done, but that's the only thing you can do. They will never change.
Because everyone basically believes in only one form of morality. Whichever form of morality they happen to believe in, is the one they think is correct.
And for all people, morality is universal. Meaning there can only be one standard of morality.
So everyone is trying to push their moral beliefs onto everyone else.
And those who get mad about you not having kids, are pushing their morality on to you.
They will make all the arguments in the world why their view is the correct view.
I think it is safe to ignore these idiots. People are fucking stupid.
People's reactions to your choice not to have children can vary widely. Some individuals may have traditional or societal expectations about marriage and parenthood, and your decision challenges those norms. Others might not fully understand or empathize with your reasons. It's important to remember that your choices are personal, and you don't need to justify them to anyone. People's reactions may be a reflection of their own beliefs and values, and it's best to focus on what's right for you and your husband.
That's a good point. I just don't see how adults can't think critically about it and understand happiness doesn't look the same for everyone. Thank you, I appreciate your feedback.
Opinion
29Opinion
Because many people canāt fathom others living differently than societyās norm
Because that is what we are put on the planet to do is procreate. That could be the reason and they are very passionate about that.
Thats debatable. Otherwise, why do sterile people exist? Why do gay people exist? Are you saying those people dont have meaning in their lives or value? We are just a bunch of bald apes running around on this floating rock in space trying iur best to be good people. Its costs yiu absolutely nothing to mind yiur own business.
Mistakes in the universe will always exist.
I disagree. I think its intentional to prevent overpopulation. Some species have been known to self regulate in order to ensure survival.
Both can be true at the same time lol
I disagree in this case
LOL okay
I would hate to find out im pregnant. Id get an abortion asap. Not everyone wants to procreate or have babies. Lol
Not everyone likes kids or babiesā¦ i find them a bit yucky and not very appealing
@Jumpintoadstool some animals kill their own offspring either cuz they reject them or they want the stronger to live
Misery loves company 🤷āāļø🤣
ain't that the truth. I have never seen a parent who was truly happy to be a parent give me any grief. Its usually miserable people.
Tbh they are jealous because u don't have any responsibility. They are completely pissed off because u are living your dream life not taking unnecessary responsibility.
Best advice for u is to "ignore these haters and jealous people". These kind of people are everywhere 💕āØinstead of ruining your mood , just ignore them and show sympathy for their situation, that how they burdened their life with unnecessary responsibility.
U are sleeping peacefully and they are not , understand their situation and emotions 🥺lollll😂
Aww tbh I like child-free life more and want a partner who like child-free life too.
- Child-free life doesn't doesn't mean I don't like kids , I love kids soo much 💕and love to teach them and play with them but I'm not interested in taking that huge responsibility of a kid.
If it makes me selfish, yeah I'm. Coz for me - I'm more important and my life is already filled with higher purposes and goals , so no time for kids, and never will.
They're probably pro-life religious people. They don't care if a kid will come out with cancer and will die a horrible death young or if a child has a disability that will cause extreme life long suffering and need someone to always take care of them.
They dont care if the family is poor or anything like that. They just want you to have kids
Haha yeah, they were. Its nearly always religious folk. i live in a rural area with a conservative population so its to be expected. I never was one for conformity
You can do what you want. I am not getting āangryā with the choices you and your husband make. Itās a big a life decision to have kids.
But I am wondering why do many people are gung ho about heading to their own extinction. Having kids immortalizes your existence. You pass your genes on to other human beings.
Also people saying āpeople get angryā is a gross semantic exaggeration. Like they start yelling at you and publicly shaming or some nonsense. Thatās ridiculous. Itās not the same as being disappointed with someone who intentionally made that decision.
1. If you took this personally, that tells me you are the demographic I am talking about.
2. There are over 8 billion people on this planet. We aren't going extinct any time soon. Relax. Im doing you a favor with population control.
3. Not everyone feels the need to feed their ego with immortalization. Some of us are just content to live a life that is authentic to who we are.
4. I said SOME people get angry. It seems you might be one of them.
5. You dont dictate what other peoples life experiences are. You were not there, do not presume to know what happened.
6. Why on earth would you be disappointed about what someone else chooses to do with their private parts? Thats just weird, hon. Might want to talk to someone about that.
@jumpintoadstool it is almost as if you are LOOKING for people to get upset about this. Especially with your last sentence āwhy on earth would you be disappointedā¦.ā
The reason I am ādisappointedā is having a negative reproduction rate is way for a civilization to DIE. Western civilizations are now slowly committing suicide.
Why or why not someone doesnāt have kids can be complicated. Also it doesnāt mean everybody should be parents. But itās just very sad that perfectly and able healthy men and women are intentionally choosing this just because they donāt want the inconvenience.
Itās one thing if you never found someone who would be a good father/mother to your children. Quite another thing if the you and your partner would be good parents but you intentionally elect not to do that.
But again I donāt āhate youā or something ridiculous. But tbh I think a part of you somewhere deep down is second guessing your decision. You donāt want to have any regrets. So it makes since why you are so defensive about this.
1. That simply is not true. Its yhe opposite. I just want to live my life in peace and for other people to quit bothering me about having kids, or treating me as though I am some failure for not wanting them.
2. Civilization is not dying off. We are fine. I think you mean you are upset not enough white people are having kids. Thay is an issue of prejudice you need to address with yourself. That isn't the concern of others.
3. Whats sad is people having children who do not want them because people like you feel the need to push for conformity.
4. I would rather not have a child and regret it than have a child and regret it. I am making the responsible decision here.
Why waste your time posting a question like this if you are so resolute and steadfast with your decision to begin with?
You donāt need people to comfort and agree with you if you know you made the right decision, right? Who cares what the naysayers think. Itās your life and your decision, right? So why waste time asking about it and debating it?
I know the real reason you asked this question to begin with. But I donāt expect you to ever admit it to anybody including yourself.
Because I am curious about the psychology behind getting so damn upset about something that has nothing to do with you. Whats the point of posting any question on here? The real question is, why do you care?
I sincerely doubt you do. I told you my reason. I alone dictate my motivations. Not you.
Again if you were 100% steadfast about your decision that WHO cares what other people think. Your decision is no one elseās business. Debating it is futile. Have you ever heard the old saying āother peopleās opinions about you are none of your businessā.
Whatās done is done. No going back. I actually hope for your sake this doesnāt haunt you later in life. I am not being facetious either. I have seen women past their child bearing years later have very deep regrets about not having kids. I donāt want that to be you. I say that with full sincerity.
Again. I was curious as to why people care about things that are not their business. I had some free time and figured i would shoot my shot. I am as resolute as i have ever been. I fought for 6 years to get sterilized. Dont worry about me. I won't regret my decision. This idea women will inevitably regret not having children is a belief rooted in misogyny. Women dont just exist to breed. Have a nice day.
Just curious, do you ever express concern for regret with women who have children?
For the record I donāt have kids myself. But that doesnāt mean I donāt want them. But I have never encountered a woman who would be a good mother or even wanted to have kids to begin with. The latter is becoming more common nowadays which is horrifying.
But the difference between you and me is being childless is out of my control. I am not going to knock up a girl who would be a horrible mother either. But would have a kid with a decent woman.
But as I get older I have to come to grips that I might be old father or childless altogether. Itās not a good feeling at all. But at least I didnāt elect to burn the bridge and get sterilized.
Why is it horrifying to you that people who dont want children aren't having them? I would say that is a good thing. Especially when the global population is still rising at 8 billion people.
I'm sorry to hear you are not childless by choice. I hope you are able to live out your dream someday. However, that does not make my desire to remain childfree less valid.
As for my reasons for sterilization, birth control poses great risk to womens health the longer we use it. It increases iur risk for certain cancers, blood clots, and many other things. I know in my heart i never want children, and i dont want to risk any accidental pregnancies. Especially after roe v wade was overturned. So i ask you again: why do you care so much what i chose to do with my reproductive system? Yiur wording is interesting. "At least i didn't burn the bridge by getting sterilized" suggests some bitterness at ny decision.
Well the only positive thing I can say about sterilization is at least it prevents abortions. Iām sure you are likely 100% pro choice. However that is one silver lining I see in this. Fewer dead fetuses. But itās permanent though (although it is possible for women to reverse this but not men)
But as for other question I will give you a perfect example: my mother. Her and I have serious issues. She was very abusive and controlling when I grew up. But still I love her for giving me a chance at LIFE. Even if my life hasnāt been that great in many ways I am thankful to be alive. I will always love and respect her for that no matter how hurt and angry I am about some of the things sheās done to me.
Iām sure people will sometimes say āI wish I never had that kidā or āI wish I was never bornā. But deep down that isnāt true. Life is beautiful. And women having kids furthers the gift of life.
Okay? You never answered my question. WHY DO YOU CARE if a stranger chooses not to have children? Furthermore, do you think there's just a line of kids waiting to be born or something? Im not letting down a child by not having them. They dont exist. You as a pro lifer should be happy i was sterilized. y'all are always going on about preventing unwanted pregnancy. But when we do, you guys lose your minds because we didn't conform to your standards of what happiness should look like.
I encourage you to look up cases of abusive parents. There are people who tie their kids to their bed and let them live in their own filth. you're telling me thats a good thing? You think they made a good decision by having children?
@jumpintoadstool and those cases sadly exist. But ask those kids years from now when they are adults if they would have been āhappierā if their parents aborted them and they never had a chance at life.
We are going to go in circles here. But human life is beautiful even at times it appears very ugly. This is really an argument about life. You canāt use anecdotal examples to defeat the purpose of life.
Anyway I wish you the best with your marriage and your future.
My point is they wouldn't have an opinion on the matter if they didn't exist in the first place. You are advicating for irresponsible practices if reproduction. You never answered the question. Why do you feel the need to convince childfree women that they should have kids? Why do you care?
P. S. I already admitted the silver lining of sterilization vs abortion earlier before I read your response.
Yes, and you then proceeded to negate that by insinuating everyone should reproduce, even unfit parents.
Hey @jumpintoadstool I wish you the best. There is a much deeper point I was trying to make above about the beauty of human life. Also unfit parents are ironically are typically the ones to be the most reckless to begin with. The world will never be able to stop those people from having kids either. But again you canāt use them as anecdotal examples as why human beings shouldnāt reproduce.
But I get it. You need confirmation because anything less than that could mean some horrifying cognitive dissonance. Agreeing with me on anything above would spell complete disaster for your mental health. And believe it or not I hope for YOUR sake that 20 years from now your views havenāt changed. Iām dead serious.
So again (and for real this time) I wish you the best.
What? I never stated people shouldn't reproduce. I stated people who dont want kids should reproduce. This is objectively correct when you look at the studies on the effects of being an unwanted child. If you can't argue in good faith, dont bother. You failed to answer the question I posed. Why do you care about what strangers do with their reproductive system? Any concerns you had were debunked. The human species isn't going extinct, sterilization prevents abortion, and not having kids you dont want prevents inhumane situations for children involved. Using a condescending attitude by insinuating i have cognitive dissonance when you failed in every aspect of this conversation is peak projection and dunning kruger effect energy. Wish you the best anyway. Do the world a favor and make sure whoever you wind up having kids with knows where you stand on this subject. They deserve to know what theyre getting into.
" I dontncare what you do, thats your business"
*proceeds to go on a tangent about how everyone should make babies and insinuating something is wrong with people who dont*
People who dont want kids *shouldn't* reproduce. my phone messed up that sentence. Just wanted to correct it here.
@jumpintoadstool I wish you the best.
Tbh idc about passing on my genetics. I ain't anything special and everyone dies eventually plus there is 8 billion people on this planet and people should only have kids if they desire them. I could care less. I enjoy my own company and being kept to myself. I donāt want the responsibility of another person. I only want to be responsible for MYSELF.
I also see kids as baggage too. I ain't tryna be stuck with it if my partner dies or decides to leave me for whatever reason. I donāt want their baggage
@Brittanyroseee āI donāt want to pass on my geneticsā. Okay thatās a bit of a self esteem issue you have there. Just saying
Anyway what you and @jumpintoadstool want to do with your own lives is up to both of you. If I ran into either one of you at work, social gathering, etc and you told me you donāt want kids and/or got sterilized I just wouldnāt say anything.
In fact I have a 28 yr old friend who got sterilized at 26. Heās not married, doesnāt have a girlfriend and I doubt heās a manwhore (he doesnāt have the personality and I know the type). I know for a fact heās isnāt the reckless type and wouldnāt bang/knock up a random girl. Highly doubt he would be the type to not use protection.
Heās also a lawyer and makes great money. He has both the resources and personality that would make him an ideal father. But I said NOTHING to him about his decision to get sterilized. Whatās the point at this point?
But @jumpintoadstool posted that question on GAG wanting peopleās personal opinions about this. I gave it above. But just because I THINK that way doesnāt mean I go around openly verbally criticizing young men/women who do this. I am not actively āoppressingā them. But thatās not good enough for some people. No. Itās like if I donāt agree with them that in itself is āoppressionā or some nonsense.
Your line of thinking is flawed and doesn't hold up in debate. At the very least you have the good sense to keep those views to yourself IRL.
@blueonblack22 im not royal blood or from a royal family. Im not a championship show winning german shepherd dog or golden retriever so I donāt care about passing along my geneticsā¦. I also wouldnāt want to end up with a disabled child anywayā¦
I donāt even like kids enough for me to sacrifice my body and dedicate my entire life to one.
@Brittanyroseee alright. This all goes back for the original stance of being disappointed which is very different then āangryā.
@jumpintoadstool what is there to debate on this one? Whatās the point of arguing when there is no point of return on this one?
But just like you have a right to opinion I do as well. But my opinion isnāt āforcingā anyone nor should it. But I am not changing my personal opinion on why this is a very bad idea in the long run.
Also like I said earlier I seriously hope for your sake you feel the same 20 years from now as you do now. It is not worth the feeling of me being āsatisfiedā about being right on this one if you have to deal with horrible regret. Not at all.
I rather you have no regrets at 48 vs. having deep regrets and me able to say āI told you soā. No one wins in the latter scenario. You made a huge life decision so I hope it pans the way you planned later in life.
*pans out
Do you prefer people to have kids they donāt want?
You shouldnāt be disappointed. We are saving ourselves from a miserable life and saving a hypothetical child from neglect
You dont think people regret having children? News flash, there is a whole subreddit dedicated to it. Its more common than people want to admit. So no, I'm not worried about regret. I hope for YOUR sake you dont regret your decision to have kids when you're 50 and they no longer talk to you.
See how condescending that was? Spare me your thinly veiled passive aggression dressed up as concern.
I already debunked all the reasons you stated its a bad idea. You aren't changing your mind because your cognitive dissonance won't allow it when the facts are in front of you.
ā Spare me your thinly veiled passive aggression dressed up as concern.ā
Itās always a fight isnāt it? Gets those juices going. The drama makes you feel more alive doesnāt it?
Go ahead and believe what you want about my opinion. At least I have the ability to compartmentalize the difference between someone trying to debate me va. assuming itās a personal attack.
But hey I wish you the best. I regret commenting again on this one but @Brittanyroseee chimed in. That got me going again.
But I stand firm about my POV on this. If you want to take that as āhatredā or something just because I disagree with you than one of us has deeper issue and it isnāt me.
Also I was being 100% sincere about how I do NOT want you to regret this in the future. But if you want to believe otherwise go ahead. Iām one of āthoseā kind of guys right? Any empathetic connection with those people is impossible. They are the āenemyā.
You stand firm because you are keeping your head in the sand and ignoring the facts in front of you. But hey, you have a right to your wrong opinion. Havr the day you deserve. š
@Brittanyroseee he doesn't care about the facts, his mind is already made up. His bias won't allow for any growth on his part.
Having kids is a huge responsibility. It entails great sacrifice and does not always have a happy ending. It is not for everyone. People that bring children into the world thinking they will be like a pet hamster do them no favor. Ignore what others think.
Exactly. Your smart. Kids are not like pets. Its a big responsibility and one must desire and want them to have them. For me, I donāt care. So its better I donāt have one and then regret it
My dad got offended the other day after i said I donāt want kids. And he said āSO YOU WANT TO BE ALONE WITH A CAT?ā And i said āhonestly i like cats and dogs more than babies and kidsā and he said āok so nothing after you die? Thats it?ā And i said āyep its life. Everyone diesā and he proceeded to call me dumb
@Brittanyroseee maybe he is bummed out about not having grandchildren.
@Brittanyroseee. I am lookin forward to teaching grandkids how to catch fish.
Ah well that sucks for him i donāt owe anyone kids
@Brittanyroseee you are right. Maybe you could be a little more understanding?
Maybe he can be a little more understanding and not call her stupid for exercising her right to autonomy over her own body.
I would hate to be pregnant and to give birth. Ew
@Brittanyroseee Yes, it is not a pretty sight.
Some people cannot comprehend that other people want to live their life differently then they do.
They get upset because THEY can't understand. They also give zero shits about your life, because if they did, they'd mind their manners and wouldn't be so rude.
Breeders get jealous easily. Also misery loves company.
Many parents don't think beyond social norms when it comes to childbirth. They just follow along and have kids without really thinking about it, and then get caught off guard when kids turn out to be... kids.
I'm childfree and definitely still get bingos. Especially for some reason from old women most of all.
Maybe you are projecting. I doubt anyone but family cares. Non family probably cheer your choice.
For family, they would see it differently, of course. The reasons for this are obvious so I won't go into it, but it seems you might be reacting to your own self judgement rather than actual judgement of others.
If only this were true. I assure you, it isn't. I've heard it all. You're selfish, you will die alone, you'll regret it someday, all the fun stuff. Feel free to take a gander at some of the comments in this thread. Some came out of the woodwork here.
@jumpintoadstool To be fair, I think it breaks my motherās heart that I donāt have any myself. She never misses an opportunity to spend time with my niece or nephew, neither does my father. This is always in the back of my mind and they canāt force me to do shit, but that doesnāt mean I donāt want my own.
I have two very successful relatives / couples in my family that have no kids. One is a lawyer married to an accountant and the other is a veteran who met his wife in Okinawa. She recently passed and led an EXTRAORDINARY life.
Because you choose to go against biology, having children is the main purpose of life, without a legacy is like you never lived, also if you come from community that have low birth rate, like Japan, and you do in fact hurting your community.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2022/06/03/japan-low-births-population-decline-2021/
1. Natural is not synonymous with good.
2. Its none of your business.
3. You are basically saying infertile people have no purpose or reason to live.
4. Its none of your business.
5. Plenty of childfree people have made their mark on history. Legacy is not confined to reproduction.
6. Its none of your business.
7. Some of us aren't so egotistical that we concern ourselves with things like legacy. Im content to live ny life in a way that is authentic to who I am.
8. Its none of your business.
9. Good thing I live in a country thats already overpopulated. Guess I'm doing my nation a favor. You're welcome. Either way, having unwanted kids does more harm to the community than it helps. Unwanted children have a hogher likelihood of becoming criminals.
10. Can you guess? Say it with me: its none of your business.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk š
Some people can't mind their own business lol
We started getting questions about kids after just 1 month into marriage
Dude, same! It was almost immediate
LoL
Ignoring would be the best option I guess
My dad got offended the other day when i told him I didnāt want kids after he made a silly comment at meā¦ many people get offended when someone says they donāt want kids and its weird. A child is a huge responsibility and they are very expensive and time consuming as well.. i prefer my own company anyway and i have little to no interest in kids so I donāt see why i would dedicate myself to one.
I think it's wonderful that y'all got sterilized, I wish more people like y'all would do it.
I do find it interesting that the most progressive idealists are the most likely to end their bloodlines and their ideals in the process.
@DarkWinterNights i disagree. Most progessives had conservative parents.
@LazerBean Too bad that troll you call a mother didnāt get sterilized before your father dragged himself off her.
some people do care a very great deal about controlling how others reproduce. its mental.
Right? For the life of me I don't understand it!
We don't want kids, and we have never seen anyone upset over it.
That's good, I'm glad to hear it. I had a different experience, so I was hoping to hear from people who may know why.
This is interesting. I donāt think Iāve ever gotten angry with someone choosing not to have kids. Iāve got four, by the way, so we both offset the birth rate.
Okay? We didn't choose not to have kids because of birth rates. We just don't want that lifestyle for ourselves. Good on you for being reasonable, though. You would be surprised how many people get upset about it.
Yeah Iām too busy to really even notice that another couple is actively trying to not have kids. Do people just randomly ask you why you donāt have kids?
Most of the time it comes up in conversation when they ask if my husband and i have children or plan on having them. Im as perplexed as you are as to why they would care about something like that.
Joe asks the question of your exact situation, you can tell Matt was thinking internally āfuckā¦ he got meā
Oh shit, my bad. Meant to add that to my opinionā¦.
Nobody's business but you and your husband!
Exactly!
Screw them. If they donāt like it, they can stay outta your life. Some people will always feel the need to control otherās lives. Tell them to kiss your ass.
Haha this made me smile, thanks for that. Will do
Some people are only happy when they're controlling other peoples lives and can't cope when people don't conform.
Because of their own personal problems has nothing to do with you so don't worry about it
I'll do my best. Thanks for the feedback
Because they made the biggest mistake of their lives having children, and they are miserable. So they need to make themselves feel better by laboring under the delusion that children are a blessing to have and that everyone wants them. When you and your husband say you don't want kids their world view is shattered.
It's known that every couple is to make children. Every... couple. EVERY COUPLE. And if you don't... well that's a them problem.
People just canāt stand it when you live differently than them. They want you to make THEM happy instead of making yourself happy.
Misery loves company. Peer pressure. They failed and are jealous of you.
Misery loves company.
A lot of people are busybodies who think that their opinions about your life are the right ones.
People inherently fear what they don't understand. As long as you and your husband are happy, it matter little what others thinks.
cuz misery loves company 😂 i donāt want kids either and people can be so condescending if they know u donāt want them.
I fail to understand this myself. People always say this who don't have kids. Maybe centuries of being told to have kids to increase your population has left some mentality there.
Most women want kids, it's instinct hard wired into their DNA. When a woman doesn't want them, it's unusual. Some people are too dumb to comprehend it.
Im 25 and never felt baby feverā¦ I donāt even find them appealingā¦
Kids are a big responsibility and they are expensive and very time consuming.
I lack maternal instinct as well. I donāt go goo goo gah gah over babies. I donāt even pay attention to them.. i also find them a bit yucky and annoying and young kids are annoying too
@Brittanyroseee how many cats and dogs do you own?
3 dogs, one cat. Why?
I prefer animals over kidsā¦ its my preference anyway. I donāt like kids reallyā¦. I donāt have interest in them
@Brittanyroseee more than 2 dogs or 2 cats means you're a crazy dog lady or cat lady haha
Dogs and cats donāt throw tantrums or constantly whine and cry. They donāt talk back or argue. Cats poop in a litterbox and you use a scooper. Dogs shit outside. They donāt wear diapers. Babies wear diapers until their like 4 years of age. I am not touching human feces and changing nasty ass dirty ass diapers.. babies randomly will vomit on you. Never had a dog or cat do that to me. I prefer my sleep. I ain't tryna wake up throughout the night to a crying babyā¦ puppies are thrown into a crate at night in a separate room to be house broken. Pets will never cost as much money as a family will. Pets donāt restrict your entire life or schedule. Dogs are trainable and will listen better than a 2, 3, 5, or 8 year old kid.
Ok? I donāt like babies and im not a fan of kids. So why would i have them?
I also donāt want to be pregnant or give birth. Gross and unnecessary pain.
Kids are a big responsibility and i have no interest in them
Babies are ugly. Dogs and cats are cute. ššššššššššš
@Brittanyroseee you'll pick your dog's shit up but won't change a diaper? You're out of it
@Brittanyroseee nobody needs 3 drugs unless they hunt hogs
Yes i will pick up my dogs shit using a bag instead of touching a dirty diaper with my bare ass hands and then having to wipe the infants dirty bum.
Nobody needs 3 dogs? Plenty of people have more than one pet.
I donāt like babies or have interest in kids. Bye
I like dogs and cats more than babies and children. What is the issue? Do you want people to have kids they donāt fully think about all the possibilities of? And the responsibility aspect? Cost? Yeah no thanks
It's the white nationalists, with you, likely. They're afraid that the 'white population" is dying, and well, are racist
They have to cancel their orders because they happen to think they could have other people make them kids.
Because you're aren't meeting their expectations.
I think kids our wonderfu to have but that's me..
Then why mention it period? Seems as if you're provoking an articulation to argue and justify with.
You say this with the assumption we say it unprompted. I only ever mention it when asked. Parents can be nosey. Second, how is mentioning your choice to have children fine, but if i mention my choice not to, its provocation? How about you get over yourself.
That makes zero sense.
The person provoking the argument in this situation would be the person who takes issue with not having kids. Stating that you don't have kids in and of itself is not provocation.
Is stating you have children a provocation? If i jump down your throat for procreating, would you say the parent provoked me?
You literally said I provoked an argument I started because I said I didn't have kids.
Then speak plainly. Say what you mean or quit wasting my time.
Ugh a pseudointellectual who can't back up his own argument and doesn't understand the difference between your and you're. I'll take your refusal to argue your point as a concession. Have a nice day.
Sure... very narrow minded and you're trying to spin a narrative to result into a different truth. First of all I don't care whether or not you procreate or not. I don't look down on anyone's current affairs or they're preferences. Some people live the way they're own lives dictate.. nothing wrong with that. Our anatomy is there for our own nature... to do or not to do. But truthfully , no one's really cares about your preferences more than yourself.
If that were true, people wouldn't feel the need to convince me i made a mistake by getting sterilized. Keep smoking that copium.
Then why are you here? If you have nothing of value to add to the conversation, don't comment. I am looking for perspective, not an argument of semantics.
If the question doesn't apply to you, keep scrolling. The fact you answered insinuates you care to some degree.
My own actioms of what? Answering a question they asked? I did nothing wrong. Its easy for you to say not to care what others think when you are not the one having to deal with it on the regular. Imagine if every time someone realized you were a parent, they went on a tangent about why having kids is actually bad and something is wrong with you for doing it. Its the same reason people get annoyed with vegans. It isn't that I care what they think of me. Im just tired of dealing with it constantly. I wanted to understand why some people think the way they do.
Its interesting that childfree women can't just exist without someone taking issue with it. We can't even ask why others take issue with it without being blamed. We are just supposed to never talk about it, never defend ourself, never complain of the treatment we get and never ask why. Foh old man.
I think you are looking for ways to shift blame here by stating childfree people shouldn't talk about their lived experiences. You instigate an argument, are purposefully vague, and presume to know the circumstances of the conversations in question.
You're very clearly gaslighting here. If you only came to argue for the sake of arguing, the conversation is over.
You are being purposefully vague for plausible deniability. Take a shit or get off the pot, grandpa. You get one last chance to answer my question from 3 hours ago, or you're getting blocked. I'm not in the mood to play games.
"Someone using an iron man argument often makes their own stance so vague that nothing anyone says about it can weaken it. Theyāll make liberal use of caveats, jargon, and imprecise terms. This means they can claim anyone who disagrees didnāt understand them, or theyāll rephrase their contention repeatedly. You could compare this to the language used in the average horoscope or in a fortune cookie. Itās so vague that itās hard to disagree with or label it as incorrect because it canāt be incorrect. Itās like boxing with a wisp of steam."
That is what you are doing here. You aren't fooling anyone.
Well you've provoked , articulated , argued and tried justifying... your own insecurities of others opinions of your question just as I mentioned above. If you and your husband feel right in both your decisions then your both rights, end of story. Sooo... then why provoke others opinions , articulating they're opinions , arguing with they're opinions or trying to justify your means above they're opinions of the question. Then the answer is (your you both are right. Why listen to them in the first place?
1. You have yet to explain how I provoked anyone. I already explained I answered a question they asked.
2. Yes, I argue my point when people try to invalidate my decision. I have a right to defend myself. I'm no doormat.
3. You didn't answer the main question. Why do you think people get upset at childless people?
There. Now was that so hard?
You know... I never said much at all to the contrary. So i can say the same. But that's your answer so don't listen or get all offended of others bs opinions of yourself. Truthfully I have 12 children and 23 grandchildren , but I've never looked down at another's preference otherwise. People do have they're God given right to do as they wish in that department.
I know you didn't. The issue I had was the vagueness and avoidance of giving direct answers. I appreciate the sentiment of the last point you made, though. I wish more people out there felt that way. My issue isn't getting offended, i just wish people would mind their own business. Anyway. Have a good one.
Probably religious zealots like matt walsh
Ugh that clown. Barf. š¤®
Not to get too political with it, but I am an independent. That leans right, I watch the Joe Rogan podcast and he had a pretty viral disagreement with Matt Walsh about Gay marriage and Joe brought up very valid and well thought out points.
I agree with pretty much every Joe Rogan says
Im unfamiliar with joe rogan bit I lean left. Chances are, we disagree on most things. At the very least, you aren't one of those extremist religious types.
Believe it or not Iām not against womenās reproductive rights. And donāt care about gay people having the right to marry. Showing little kids concepts of gay sex however I am against.
Think of it this way, I am very consistent with my beliefs. Iām pro liberty and freedom. So long as oneās freedoms donāt infringe on the peace and personal lives of others
No one is teaching kids about gay sex in schools. Thats just right wing media fear mongering.
Iāve seen books that are highly inappropriateā¦ and I canāt say itās a forsure yes or no. Because we wonāt know unless a hidden camera is place in classes which is wrong as well.
My sister is a psych major and I learned a thing or two about human behavior from her. When someone gets upset at someone making an accusation, there is a high probability that it is actually true. In this case, more and more states are banning lbgtq concepts in the classroom (as they should) because kids should be taught about math, English, history, science etc. not this other nonsense.
But the lbgtq community gets UPSET when this happensā¦. Is it because it is true and their plans get ruined? Because it sure seems that way
Im sure explicit books exist, but they are not in schools. The vast majority of books being banned are not inappropriate. All you have to do is look at the ALA book ban list. Titles like the diary of anne frank are on there. As for what we should teach in schools, would you also agree the bible shouldn't be in schools? There are plenty of explicit material in it, and its unrelated to math, science, etc.
Furthermore, classes aren't being taught lgbt concepts. They just have book available in the library with lgbt characters in them. Gay kids exist. They deserve to be represented too.
No, they are upset because people unquestioningly believe fear mongering propoganda that feeds their confirmation bias and use it as an excuse to devalue lgbt people.
I donāt think religion should be in schools either tbh. Sure there are private schools that are also churches etc. I am not religious but grew up in a catholic family. I have cousins that went to catholic private schools and they separated religion from school. If I ever have kids I wouldnāt care to teach my kids religion because personally I think all religions are cults. And religion is the reason why historically speaking there has been so much bloodshed, because one religious group will think their god/religion is superior to another group. Thus they fight and kill each other for it. Which contradicts one of the core pillars of religions
Agreed.
Well then why are there drag queens and trans adults going into classrooms with kids that havenāt even reached puberty yet telling them they can be whatever gender they want? You know how malleable little kids are? When I was a kid I wanted to become a fire truck when I grew up for crying out loud.
Please direct me to the school that is sending drag queens into classrooms.
I think religious groups arenāt the only cult though. If Iām going to be 100% honest. The wild lbgtq is also a cult tooā¦
Cults have things like flags and symbolsā¦. Thatās what the KKK had, thatās what religions have and thatās also what the lbgtq has. They all have symbols and flags
Ehh, no. Not even close to true. Just having a flag and symbol doesn't qualify you as a cult. If that were true, every country would qualify as one.
you're starting to sound really ignorant.
So then why is there no flag for heterosexuality?
Mmm Iām actually pretty rational. But if you want to insult me because Iām applying common sense to the subject matter by all means.
You literally agreed with me not long ago when I went after religious groups. But once I also speak the truth about a group you support now Iām ignorant?
Lol youāre part of the reason why our country is so divided. Because people are so damn tribal and refuse to use rational thinking
This isn't being done during class. The video is in a classroom, but its not during school hours. The children invovled had their parents consent, and how they choose to raise their kids is their business. But based on the commentary here and how they talk about gay people, these guys clearly have homophobic attitudes. The fact you watch them tells me you share those attitudes.
I have a gay cousin. Iām not against gay people having the right to be married. Just leave the kids alone.
I donāt go around telling kids about a man having sex with a woman right? Or anything of that nature? Think of āthe talkā when do parents have that with their kids? When their kids hit pubertyā¦.
Not when they are little kids. I agree with you that itās their parents choice. But objectively speaking given how innocent and naive kids areā¦. Does it make it right to force a kid to see and hear that stuff? No. Let them find out naturally and come to the decision when they are fully mature adults
there's no flag for heteros because we dont need one. We are the majority and have never been oppressed for being straight.
Ok, fair point. We havenāt been oppressed. Gays used to be attacked and even possibly killed just for being gay back then..
But not anymore. They can get married just like everyone else. But may I ask, why is it that they go from being oppressed, to having equal rights, to now theyāre getting special treatment? And donāt tell me they arenāt because they are. Why canāt we stay true to what we say and have the world be equal and free for everyone instead of having certain groups have favoritism over others.
Calling lgbt a cult just because they have a flag doesn't aound rational to me. As for you claiming im hypocritical, I've been consistent. I maintain that there should not be religion or sex talk beyond what is necessary in the classroom. That being said, you have yet to provide any evidence of anything inappropriate going on in school curriculum that is lgbt related.
Whatās happening in Israel is a perfect example as well when it comes to favoritism. Itās fucked up
Ok well, have you seen the school board meetings? I live in Californiaā¦. As you may or may not know California is VERY democratic and what party supports the LBGTQ? I digressā¦. Parents are storming these meetings, outraged. Demanding answers. Againā¦ California is 90% democratic. So if these parents are showing up to these meetings outraged at the school faculty when it comes to what their kids are being taughtā¦ think about that.
You can be homophobic and have gay friends and family. It doesn't work that way. The fact you seem to think gay=sexual says a lot. There are age appropriate ways to explain things to them. Just like you can explain to kids what a husband and wife are without bringing up sex, you can do the same thing with gay couples. This idea that lgbt is explicit, taboo, not safe for all audiences is rooted in prejudice. The same way they used to have movies warning you of the dangers of gay men preying on little boys, a similar fear mongering campaign is going on now for trans people. Its time to let go of these biases and understand they aren't some boogeyman coming for your kids. Statistics show its actually straight white men who are most likely to be pedophiles.
There literally was protests a few months ago where parents where on one side calling to take LBGTQ teachings out of schools here in California and on the other side, you saw LBGTQ people protesting against themā¦ once again. People get triggered when others try to stop them from doing what they want to do. And in this case, it is immoral
You think Iām white donāt you?
It hasn't stopped though. Gay people are far more likely to be assaulted and killed than any other other demographic. Especially trans people. As for favoritism, what rights do you think gay people have that you dont?
I specifically selected a news channel you wouldnāt get triggered by by the way. But here you go
Its an optional assembly. It isn't required. Theyre freaking out over nothing.
I dont care what race you are. What does that have to do with anything?
Ok, for example. Now there are people that can get a job they arenāt even qualified for, just because theyāre gayā¦ whatās the point of having experience and having a resume now?
Also, do you think biological women never get assaulted by trans women in vulnerable areas such as womenās restrooms? Cause it does happen. And itās sad.
Personally I have my own opinions on the trans community in general. With that I donāt like to lump gay people with trans. I think theyāre two COMPLETELY different groups
So now youāre dismissing it? Lol thatās wild. You think that was all just for show?
1. Cite your source. Who is horing unqualified people on the basis of sexual orientation?
2. Sure, I'm sure if you look hard enough, eventually you might find a trans person who commits SA. Its incredibly rare, but sure. here's the thing: straight, cis men have been and continue to assault us as alarmingly higher rates than any other demographic. So unless you can show me the statistic that shows trans people committing assault is a big problem, then you dont have any leg to stand on with that.
3. Did you ever ask yourself what the T in LGBT stands for? Thats why I brought them up. I know they're not the same, but they are part of the community.
What do you want from me? Its not a required curriculum. It was an optional assembly. Parents had the right to opt out. No reason for the outrage.
They are close minded, itās your life be happy
I have no idea.
Whatās their problem!
Dunno, I don't want kids either.
by the way, I'm thinking about getting sterilized but its really scary (because its surgery on my balls, not because it makes me sterile).
Has he had any longterm changes in how his junk feels or how using it feels? I'm worried about longterm problems. Some say the scrotum feels lumpy forever afterwards because of the disconnected vas differens? Others say it causes chronic pain? And then there are things like needing to remove the epididymis because it gets chronically inflamed from sperm buildup?
Needless to say its a bit terrifying... ._. But I really don't want any kids and nothing else works besides being sterile... Are any of those side effects issues he's had? Or anything else I don't know about?
I won't lie to you, he did experience some pain initially after the fact. Once it healed up, though, we haven't noticed any issues. Still, i would talk to your doctor about potential risks and weigh your options. Its your body, and its completely fine if you decide it isn't right for you. There are other methods of protection out there.
There actually aren't other methods that work, so I'm choosing between vasectomy and celibacy.
Short term pain is fine, I'm just worried about permenent issues. Everytime I talk to doctors they tell me all those side effects are eventually going to happen no matter what, or they tell me those are all rare and if done right don't happen at all, so I dunno what to think, and have just been asking every guy who had it done what happened years later to see what the truth is.
I was referring to condoms and talking to your partner about them starting birth control as well. It sounds like you have put a lot of thought into it, i can't speak about further down the line since my husband only just had it done about 6 months ago. I hope you get the answers you're looking for
Those methods fail eventually, but yeah that makes sense if it was that recent.
The search continues I guess.
They want to see more of you
Nobody cares about it
I wish you were right. If they didn't care, they wouldn't react. Clearly they do.
Maybe they want you to have kids
Can't figure out why anyone would care if I had kids aside from my parents
You said they were mad
People? Who?
Acquaintances, friends, family, coworkers, in laws, take your pick. I've been told my choice is selfish, that ill regret it someday, ill change my mind, i will never know real love because i can't have a child, etc. Of course, the people who said those things i no longer interact with. Anyway. Any theories?
Yeah. All good points. I've never seen a genuinely happy person concern themselves with how other people live their life. Misery loves company.
They are insecure.
Is it the people that have like 10+ kids?
I don't know that I've ever met anyone with 10 kids, but it is nearly always someone with children.
Yeah that's strange. Why would someone force someone to raise kids if they don't want to? No offense but you might even make bad parents since you don't have your heart and mind in raising a child. That alone disqualifies you from procreating.
Haha no offense taken. You're probably right. Never a good idea to have children you dont want.
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