Im in love with him but he’s unemotional?

[Anonymous]

Im in love with my friend. A lot has happen in a few short months. We almost dated but didn’t because I choked (I told him I’m commitment avoidant because I’m scared of it) and he stepped out because he doesn’t want to mess up the friendship we have and with our other friends.

But I really do love him and I tried telling him that I would like to try but I feel like he’s shutting me down. He tells me that whether he knows what I feel it doesn’t change anything and recently told me he’s okay with me dating other people (I don’t want to). But when we see each other in person, it’s like he avoids me and he did tell me once before that he’s protective of his emotions and either shows it too much or not enough. I do not know what to do, my friends don’t like him and tell me I can do better, but the bond we have makes it that I can’t seem to move on.

[Screenwriter]

Realize that this man isn't the one for you, despite your feelings for him.

He's made it very plain that he isn't willing to invest time dating you and has pulled back from your friendship.

It's YOUR turn to pull back. Someone who can't express their emotions has problems you can't solve, and it's useless to be involved with them.

You want warmth and mutuality. Those are the first two steppingstones to start a relationship. He doesn't share your feelings for him. First red flag. He's withdrawn, there goes the warmth and red flag No. 2.

Leave this guy alone. Maybe you can be friends after you get over being rejected. But get this: he's REJECTED you. Hear that loud and clear. Lick your wounds and heal.

You've a long, good life ahead of you and you'll meet many men far more appropriate. Listen to your friends. They're looking out for you. Look out for yourself, too. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Not unemotional — unavailable. I understand things were one way only a few months ago but things can change in a flash, damn near overnight sometimes. If he isn’t feeling romantically towards you anymore, doesn’t matter if he did a few weeks ago, in present time that’s over. This is something you need to process and accept so you can navigate what comes next. If that means hanging around less, talking less, or cutting communication so you can move on, then do what you need to do. You’re not desperate, and he isn’t the best or last option on the planet, so don’t covet him how you do when he’s just a mortal man.

[KingslayerC]

I promise you, he isn't interested in you. If you want reasons, we can try to dig into it, but as an absolute certainty, he does not want to be with you. Which is fine. The world is filled with dudes that will date you, sleep with you, love you, etc... If you want to stay friends with him, you have to back off a bit and hide those feelings.