Why does my girlfriend smile so joyfully when in a important topic that is causing harm to our relationship which is her doing and I cry?

This woman is the love of my life. She is traumatized from a 7 year relationship to a person that was her world , gave him a son and on a important day she found he chested on her with almost everyone around. This broke her. She is openly very toxic and if I so much as touch a subject she doesn't want to talk about that's causing harm by her doing to the relationship she goes 0to100. Is very disrespectful to the point if I ask for a certain tiktok post that is too provocative to be taken down and to just have respect for me with what she puts up. Keep in mind I don't control her post. She post tiktoks all the time shaking her body and at times with vrmery Lude lyrics as things with bodily fluids. She tells me that I'm controlling its only tiktok. She had her account that fillers could massage her and when she very begrudgingly she shared her screen on a video call. Before she shares her screen I feel as I saw unnecessary screen touches. Her msgs has a bunch of people there and she's showed me some I asked to see and they were not bad why where they there in the first place. I even saw a guy who when was starting to talk to right before she moved to another country. The guy can't travel. I asked her to unfollow him and erase the contact seeing that we are now together to with talks of a shared life. At first she was refusing but then did so. Then stopped sharing screen. Her family tells me that she is a narcissist. Her mother doesn't out it in those words but her same age brother does and has even had a 2 hour conversation with me about everything I've gone though with her. He says she is a narcissist and cannot mentally see that what she does is wrong. that I should just leave her cause she will never see the wrongs and disrespect she gives on a daily basis to a degree just to make me feel bad if I'm insecure about her loyalty and ask of there is some one else , she tells no but now cause I'm pestering so much it might happen. I love her deeply and want to help heal

Why does my girlfriend smile so joyfully when in a important topic that is causing harm to our relationship which is her doing and I cry?
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