Why does my girlfriend smile so joyfully when in a important topic that is causing harm to our relationship which is her doing and I cry?

[Chestpains]

This woman is the love of my life. She is traumatized from a 7 year relationship to a person that was her world , gave him a son and on a important day she found he chested on her with almost everyone around. This broke her. She is openly very toxic and if I so much as touch a subject she doesn't want to talk about that's causing harm by her doing to the relationship she goes 0to100. Is very disrespectful to the point if I ask for a certain tiktok post that is too provocative to be taken down and to just have respect for me with what she puts up. Keep in mind I don't control her post. She post tiktoks all the time shaking her body and at times with vrmery Lude lyrics as things with bodily fluids. She tells me that I'm controlling its only tiktok. She had her account that fillers could massage her and when she very begrudgingly she shared her screen on a video call. Before she shares her screen I feel as I saw unnecessary screen touches. Her msgs has a bunch of people there and she's showed me some I asked to see and they were not bad why where they there in the first place. I even saw a guy who when was starting to talk to right before she moved to another country. The guy can't travel. I asked her to unfollow him and erase the contact seeing that we are now together to with talks of a shared life. At first she was refusing but then did so. Then stopped sharing screen. Her family tells me that she is a narcissist. Her mother doesn't out it in those words but her same age brother does and has even had a 2 hour conversation with me about everything I've gone though with her. He says she is a narcissist and cannot mentally see that what she does is wrong. that I should just leave her cause she will never see the wrongs and disrespect she gives on a daily basis to a degree just to make me feel bad if I'm insecure about her loyalty and ask of there is some one else , she tells no but now cause I'm pestering so much it might happen. I love her deeply and want to help heal

[Oliverlogan263]

This is a tough situation brother. A few things stand out to me:

- Her past trauma definitely impacts her behavior, but that doesn't excuse disrespecting you. She needs to work on healing.

- The provocative posts and private messages are crossing boundaries. If she truly cared about your feelings, she wouldn't do things to intentionally upset you.

- The fact that her own family acknowledges her narcissistic tendencies speaks volumes. That type of behavior is deeply ingrained and very hard to change.

- You can't help someone who doesn't see their own flaws or want to change. All your love and support won't make a difference if she continues treating you this way.

My advice would be to have an honest talk with her when you're both calm. Lay it all out straightforward - the disrespect, broken trust, ignoring your feelings. See if she's open to counseling or making real changes.

If she refuses and keeps dismissing you, as hard as it is you gotta let her go man. You deserve someone who respects you and your relationship. Don't keep putting up with this abuse just cause you care about her. You gotta take care of yourself too fam.

[Billlewis]

She sounds like a very mean woman.

[Chestpains]

She is when when she looses control which is daily but I try to see that iss the trauma and the narsasistic problem. But se does make me happy it's just not as often as the latter. I just can't take the pain that's crushing me but I can't see myself without her. But as a narsasist she doesn't see anything she does as wrong it's always something I did wrong. She even ignors me most the day if she feels I did something wrong. I know it's a continuation of the trauma and the nasasistic behavior and want to be there for her to heal and she see that I was there cause she does have her moments of clarity but it's hurting me so much to love some one this strongly and they use me as a rug.

[Billlewis]

Oh, I'm sure she's absolutely magnificent! I love mean women, and I refuse to date any other kind of women.

[Chestpains]

🤣🤣🤣 I needed that. Thos one whole family is like her.

[Anonymous]

She has turned cold on you. Time to move on.

[Luckycharms12]

She doesn't care about you clearly

[In_Trance]

you'd have to ask her this