Do open relationships really work? What are the upsides and the downsides of it?

[gayesblog]

I've never had an open relationship but I'd like to see your experiences. Do open relationships work?

[Uby10000]

Upsides:
-More partners to experience love or just sex
-More open minded people
-If you feel like it, you can also just hang out with them and have fun doing activities together (not necessarily romantic, pretty much like having best friends)
Downsides:
-Jealousy. We are humans and sharing is hard for most of us
-Complications related to family. Most people won't accept that you swing with multiple partners possibly at the same time, they may consider you like a whore/asshole (depending on your gender)
-Possible Drama. This comes either from the previous points or from extra partners that may come from the "outside"

LAST THING: The "outside"

You must confront all your partners on how open your relationship is to extra people. There's multiple terms for polyamory (like polyfidelity) so some may agree on making a closed circle of like 3-4 people (very rare that it's more) or be more open to add even more people even if temporary (kinda like a group chat but of lovers instead of friends)

[Hanrej]

Yes and no. Most of those I found to work out focuses on the couples longterm ambitions rather than sex. They stay together out of mutual respect and benefit but chase their respective sexual preferences as they please.

Purely sexual open relationships rarely work. There's always bound to be some drama and a feeling that diversify your attention between partners makes it feel like you have no partner, that nothing binds you together any more than any of your others.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Probably they work for some people.

My ex offered me to have an open relationship before our break up, I could not agree, I couldn’t imagine sleeping with someone else, when I was in a relationship with him.

I can’t imagine sleeping with someone else, when I have a partner.

But I can understand that not all people are the same.

[Finchie40]

Me personally doesn’t think an open relationship is even a real relationship period , A relationship consists of 2 people staying loyal and faithful to each other and choosing each other over everyone else , An open relationship is 2 selfish people just getting off on each other while keeping their options open to screw other people , so to me that isn’t a relationship, that is just a convenience , 2 people just using each other for sex while they are open to screw other people

[Nikki1989]

Lol, you are so way off, it is hilarious.

That is not how it works.

[Finchie40]

LOL than how does it work

[teapot]

Absolutely, open relationships are a bit like freestyle swimming; they're not for everyone, but those who dive in can find it pretty exhilarating or a bit overwhelming, depending on how they handle the waves.

So, let’s break it down a little more casually:

Good Stuff About Open Relationships:

Honesty Is the Best Policy: You’ve got to talk a lot, which means you end up being super honest with each other. This can actually make you guys trust each other more.
Do What You Want: You're not stuck in the one-and-only mindset. You can meet new people, and it's all above board.
Variety Is the Spice of Life: Different partners can mean different vibes and experiences. Keeps things fresh.
Pressure’s Off: You don’t have to be Mr. or Ms. Perfect for your partner. They can get different needs met by different folks.
Know Thyself: It can be a real journey of self-discovery. You figure out what you really want and how you feel about relationships.
Go with the Flow: You can tweak the rules as you go. What works today might not work tomorrow, and that’s okay.

Not-So-Good Stuff About Open Relationships:

The Green-Eyed Monster: Jealousy can rear its ugly head, and not everyone can keep it in check.
It’s Complicated: Juggling multiple partners can be as tricky as, well, juggling flaming torches. It's a lot to handle emotionally and logistically.
Talk, Talk, and More Talk: If you’re not up for constant deep chats about feelings and boundaries, things can get messy.
Security Systems Can Fail: Sometimes you might not feel like your relationship is all that solid if your partner’s out there with other people.
Health Class Flashbacks: The more partners, the more you’ve got to be on your A-game with safety and health.
The Side-Eye: Some folks just don’t get the open relationship thing, so be ready for some side-eye or nosy questions.
Feels Upon Feels: When feelings for others get intense, it can cause a bit of a pickle in the primary relationship.

Making an open relationship work is like juggling – it requires keeping all the balls in the air without dropping any. So, solid trust, constant chit-chat about what’s okay and what’s not, and checking in on each other's feelings is the name of the game. But just like anything else, what works for one person (or couple) might not work for another. It’s all about finding your groove and what feels right for you.

[YAsQuen]

sick

[bingbongbangbung]

Did you use Bard or GPT to write that?

[TdotRep2023]

Totally agree with that premise because not everyone is up for it at end it's all about love and trust.

[Goahead76]

Sounds like a mess.

[HelpfulWoman]

they can work well depending on who and "why" it's done. most mainstream media depicts it as "just making cheating "known" to the partner", which isn't being a actual open relationship. there's lots of groups on places like Facebook that if you are actually interested in exploring, may be a better place to ask. I bet a lot of men and traditional relationship style women will be hella triggered on this site.

[Andres77]

Agreed

[Bricealan]

I suppose they can, and do, but my experience, although not completely an OPEN one, was exciting, and in some cases did show that each of us was somewhat jealous of the others intermittent partners.

Closest thing we had to sex, per se, was her meeting and jacking-off a guy that sent a picture to her of his rather long penis. He later went to her home, and they were going to fuck, but he did not have condoms, and my girlfriend said that he wanted "no foreplay, but just wanted me to lay down and spread my legs", and she did not want that.

By the way, she and I met in college, and got together after we each divorced.

[JacobJordan]

I have never seen an open relationship work long term. I know absolutely zero people 30+ who are happily in an open relationship. Every single open relationship I have ever seen has ended with 1 or the other or both leaving and ending the relationship. in fact according to what little research is available open relationships have around 8-10% chance of being successful. you would have better odds being in a relationship with 3+ sexual partners in her past as that has up to a 30% ish chance of being successful

[Nikki1989]

You need to get out more.

[JacobJordan]

@Nikki1989 why would you think that. I am out all the time and I meet a lot of people.

[boggboss]

Really depends on the people in them plus one can't describe the good and bad of them bevause it's not a generic thing every open relationship should be laid out to the people doing it making it cut a clear what the boundaries are with both being happen its not somthing I think most can do

[mandyfire98]

They can if everybody involved is fully on board and aren't insecure. Communication is definitely important and as long as everybody is in full agreement then it can work.

[Joshydavid25]

No, they can't.. Somebody gets jealous and left out in the dust, and somebody doesn't get all the attention they want.. It seems fine in the short term, but eventually things go wrong.. It's basically people wanting their cake and to eat it too..

[Nikki1989]

LMAO.

[Joshydavid25]

@Nikki1989 I dated a girl who was in nothing but opened relationships with married men and women before me.. F@$ked her up even more than she already was.. So laugh away missy 😎👉.. Don't make it not true just cause you can go onto the next.

[Nikki1989]

You said they can't. Well, obviously they can. lol.

[Joshydavid25]

@Nikki1989 It's not really obvious now is it. Vast majority of them don't work out, so naturally you would assume it's not a good relationship plan, in fact I hardly call it a relationship.. But hey you do you. 😎👉..

[Ironic_Method]

Not "open", but my wife and I are poly and it's been great. Takes the pressure off of one person feeling like they need to provide every want/need for their partner, another someone to share life with. Harder to get good communication, but if you find someone that meshes it's amazing.

[Friendlybro79]

Never been in one but so I don't know for me. I don't look for this type of relationship myself. For others I suppose it can work when everyone is very open and honest with each other. I can't prove it but I wonder how many of these relationships last 20 years etc. I think they can work but for shorter amounts of time. Emphasis on I think. I don't really know but this is my guess.

[TdotRep2023]

They do if parties agree to share each others partners to be alone with each other. And spend nights over and not worry about being alone. Cause you will always have the other party at your place or you guys have your own ways to manage where you guys agree to have side boyfriend and spend time with them while they have side boyfriend.

[Billlewis]

In my experience, the type of open relationship most likely to be successful is an arrangement in which the female has unlimited freedom to date other guys, while her main partner remains 100% exclusive to her.

[Agape93]

They can if you have the right people. I've been in them for most of my adult life

[TdotRep2023]

Totally agree especially if u aren't jealous type.

[Agape93]

Exactly. Jealousy kills it faster than anything else

[TdotRep2023]

I found that I can even record her with someone else in bed and I wouldn't be jealous. She did same for me.

[Anonymous]

No. I think eventually usually the woman finds someone else who they believe is better. Basically an open relationship is becoming roommates or siblings until the relationship ends.

[TdotRep2023]

Rooms and siblings don't fuck ewww what mentality are u using.

[NathanDavis]

it can work for those who are genuinely interested on one... and are smart enough to make them work for them

[dudeinohio]

I don't think. so. I know people in an open relationship. The woman screws around and the guy is miserable. He can't leave her because she'd take half of his income and pension. He's trapped.

[Friendlybro79]

@dudeinohio That's his fault for agreeing to something that makes him miserable.

[Friendlybro79]

Unless it's not an open relationship and she's just cheating. That's not the same thing as all parties being in full agreement and understanding

[dudeinohio]

It's my understanding that he either accepted it or got divorced. Like I said... he would be brought to financial ruin if he disagreed.

[Nikki1989]

Well, obviously that is his fault. What is his problem?

[dudeinohio]

Not his fault. She trapped him. Like I said... he could lose his income and pension. She is the one who screws around. All her doing.

[Friendlybro79]

So she's black mailing him into being cheated on? Sounds like he just needs a good lawyer. Clearly we're not understanding the whole story either but you can't be forced into indefinitely and lose your pension.

[Friendlybro79]

He might lose some of it but not all of it.

[EmmaMary]

Not something I have the remotest interest in.

[Tim2nice]

It can work. It works for me. You just have to work on your jealousy, communicate and set your boundaries.

[Nikki1989]

It has been working for us for over 8 years.

[Carina0]

I honestly don't understand why would you be in a relationship if you want to see other people

[TdotRep2023]

Because it's fun to know you can trust your partner and still be open to have your and eat it too.

[msc545]

They work quite well for women. They are terrible for men.

[Astarlessnightsky]

can work, depends on the people.

[notfoundtoday]

What is open relationship?

[gayesblog]

It means you have more than one romantic or sexual partner at the same time. Both of the parties have permission to be romantically or sexually involved with other people outside the relationship.

[notfoundtoday]

Got it.
Sounds like a betrayal and not being loyal to your partner or just same as friends with benefits.

[Friendlybro79]

You can't betray someone that fully under what you're both agreeing to. That said this isn't right for everyone.

[Friendlybro79]

Fully understands*

[notfoundtoday]

Then it cannot be considered relationship.
It is like friends with benefits cause in relationships there are some unsaid things that you accept with each other that’s why it is two human thing.

[Friendlybro79]

You're describing a type of relationship. There are many different kinds. This is the relationship that agree is best when involved romantically and there's nothing wrong with this.

This is the definition of relationship. Notice two or more people.

The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

The way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave toward each other.

[Friendlybro79]

First paragraph edit. Sheesh my phone keeps autocorrecting. This is the type of relationship you feel is right for you. That's perfectly normal but you can't say what is right for others or what their feeling or intentions are.

[notfoundtoday]

First of all,
I never said or suggested anything to anyone not you neither the person who asked this question she simply gave me an explanation and thanks to her cause now I know what it means.
But it doesn’t any make sense to me in the same way said you cannot make me feel like this is a right thing or perfectly normal which is not to me. So I will simply repeat your line to you “You can’t say what is right for others or what their feelings or intentions etc”
Yes we do have more than 2 people involved in relationship which we call family or a group of friends or colleagues.
Just because you think that it is comfortable for you or to any other couple in this world thinks is right because it allows you to have multiple partners being in a relationship doesn’t make this right for me. I have a different view you can enjoy this thing and have this open relationship for sure. Best of luck enjoy your life mate.
But it still sounds like a friends with benefits to me only.

[Friendlybro79]

You're arguing my point to me. I agree with you that you can't tell others what's right. My point you was you're defining one particular type of relationship. Relationships that you aren't comfortable in still exist happily. I actually don't think I could be in that type of relationship myself, but I am not going to say people that are in these agreements are not sharing a relationship together. I don't think I worded myself the best I could have honestly. That said I did not say you are wrong for not wanting this type of relationship and feeling it should be between two people. Clearly your belief is shared probably by billions lol. I didn't discredit it at all. Just saying you can't say it can't be considered a relationship. By definition of the word you're incorrect. You are not incorrect for the type of relationship you want to be in and or believe is the best one to be in for you.