Are open relationships really a thing?

[satinpetals]

[LiliTyaka]

They are definetly a thing for some it might work for others not.

To give you a small example out of my life.

before 2 years i dated a guy and told him from the beginning on i want it to be an open relationship he was fine with it aswell so we came together. In the beginning it was all great, fun, loving some problems here and there which was still fine. We had only one rule which was that the love we share only belong to us, so sex with others was fine but no romantic feelings or other relationships, since we didn't wanted to share this.
Like i said in the beginning it was all fine but with the time some problems occured, like for me it never was a problem to find a guy who just wants sex, for my ex partner it was different he had a problem to find other girls and with that he started to get more and more jealous and i think i dont need to tell that this is bad for an open relationship.

With him getting more and more jealous it was hard to maintain a good relationship so i broke up.

End of the Story

What i think these days about it, im happy for people who can maintain such a relationship im truly are but i think for me its nothing i would do again since in the end it possible will end the same way as it did before, i dont see it only negative i can definetly tell i had a real fun time there being in a secure relationship and having sex with others but its to risky so i dont do it again :)

[Danniw1231]

They're very much a thing. I don't judge anybody for their outlook on life or their preference when it comes to relationships I think of it as if it works it works. It may not work for some people and that's just the way it is It does work for a lot of people I have seen a lot of positive and good outcomes but then again I've also seen some not so positive so it's just a bittersweet kind of topic

[Finchie40]

Yes, but they aren’t actual relationships , they are 2 selfish people using each other that love the convenience of each other. Not something I would do period , to me it’s dirty and degrading , I only date girls’ that want me like I want her , a girl I feel close and safe with compared to a girl that runs around spreading her legs for multiple guys’ that imore than likely has STD’s. Which is disgusting

[HawkPerception]

They are and I've met people both in person and online that are in them. I'm personally against it and probably wouldn't even date someone that's ever been in one, but as long as they don't affect me, they're free to do what they want.

[AviatorTom]

I've known couples with an open relationship, but they are definitely in the minority.

[Apple1996]

They're definitely a thing lol

[PeachyPie93]

I had a friend from work in one and I always thought 'what the hell?' 'why would you wanna share your boyfriend?'.. but I think it was more him who wanted to be open because she hated this girl at work, me and her boyfriend were friends with. I think because he wanted to sleep with her but she told him she was off limits.. Anyways long story he short he left her for some other girl he slept with. But she found a better guy who ended up marrying her and they aren't open and seem really happy lol. I find open relationships to be bogus, they are just scared to be alone but are settling for you while they sleep around and try to find someone better.

[Billlewis]

I think the ‘one sided open’ type are often more common. This is the kind of arrangement I have in my own life. I remain exclusive to her at all times, while she enjoys the freedom to date other guys whenever she wants.

[satinpetals]

Yeah this is essentially what my husband and I have

[Billlewis]

That’s wonderful. I just started following you and you’re welcome to follow or message me as well if you’d like. Thank you very much.

[Stevepro68]

Can't say I've ever known one to work out. My girlfriend is bisexual and very sexually open. But there are far too many landmines emotionally for both of us. She likes me to have sex with other women intellectually it gets her going, but when we have had experiences there was always issues.

[ProbablyClueless]

They are, but from what I can tell they're extremely unpopular. Everyone tried it for a while because I think it was the "in" thing. But it just seems to make most people miserable, so most aren't interested in that kind of thing anymore.

[Shiprex]

The imbalance in availability and effort to actually go out and find a partner may become a source of conflict. Like women can easily find guys to screw with but there aren't so many women who'd entertain the fk about culture and not want someone they can rely on to be there for them emotionally,

[Nikki1989]

They have worked for us for over 5 years, but ours is not fully open. It is always just the same three people. We never actually sleep around and never would.

[katiesmuff]

They are a thing, are they successful now that's another question!

[emeraldsaphire]

They certainly do! it's a perfectly valid relation structure that is just a good as monogamy. It's a personal choice though. I've tried it and it didn't work out

[Joshydavid25]

"They certainly do! it's a perfectly valid relation structure that is just a good as monogamy."

If that were the case, most wouldn't end up not working put.. 90% don't.. So that tells me, that it's nowhere near the structure of monogamy..

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

@Joshydavid25
I'd think that valid here only means legitimate? It would not mean easy to set up or "efficient", it cannot be easy considering how much different it is from what we're used to, socially speaking

[Joshydavid25]

@Maybe_Maybe_not Not legit either.. Like another user said, it's just 2 selfish people having their cake and to eat it too.. They don't love each other their just with each other for convenience..

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

@Joshydavid25
Well, that's an opinion, but said from an external perspective, in truth, you can't know what's inside people, what they feel, until they start giving that information

[Joshydavid25]

@Maybe_Maybe_not It's a selfish act.. They're not doing it to benefit each other, only themselves.. I don't claim to know what they feel only what the actions represents..

[BarryLiverstone]

They are a thing, a negative thing in my opinion. How can they build trust?

[satinpetals]

I think a relationship would need to have a rock solid foundation of trust to do it

[BarryLiverstone]

No doubt some trust would be needed to even attempt it. But haven’t you found in relationships they take work to maintain the deep and solid connection? An open relationship seems to counteract that work?

[satinpetals]

Oh absolutely they do and I think you are right, an open relationship has potential to disrupt that but I also can imagine that it could also have the potential to strengthen it in some cases

[BarryLiverstone]

You are openminded and that’s a positive. I know that they are becoming more accepted in society. Guess it really comes down to the people in the relationship and what they need to feel loved and fulfilled. Certainly seems risky tho.

[satinpetals]

I think that is a very fair and reasonable take! Thank you for sharing

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. After the answers flow in be sure to update the question with your take on open relationships. Everyone has a unique perception in life and we can all educate each other

[satinpetals]

I do think they are more prevalent now than I can ever recall. I do think it is something that requires a strong foundation to even consider. The reason I ask is because my husband approached me about wanting me to be with other men. My initial reaction was not good, I was mad, upset and hurt. But as we’ve talked in detail I’ve come to see that it is coming from a genuine place of love and care. I would never judge anyone for doing it and think it can work, but I also acknowledge that it can be extremely damaging to a relationship

[BarryLiverstone]

I can’t even guess how that affected you emotionally and from what you described it doesn’t sound like those emotions are only on the surface. I’d be curious why he wanted you to explore other men but that’s likely private and I don’t want to overstep on a free website like this.

[satinpetals]

Thank you for that. I don’t mind sharing that but I agree probably best in a private chat

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. Feel free to follow me on here. Privacy has virtues for sure.

[DrPepper12]

Yes!!! As they should be!! Monogamy is a recent artificial anachronistic fiction.

[Bbgrl]

Monogomy is a way to prevent the rise of STDs and the herp. If you are sleeping with other people you're also sleeping with the people they slept with.

[DrPepper12]

And if practicing safe sex the problem is?

[AnonAndrew]

That's a good question, @DrPepper12!

It amuses me a little bit how people keep bringing up STDs as if condoms didn't exist.

[brokenhalo619]

I think so but in my opinion it’s because the relationship has broken down and isn’t what it used to be but one or both partners don’t want to end things so they explore other people while staying together. Seems like a path to the end, and I speak from experience a little.

[RichA322]

Yes they are a thing and if you like them it perfect.

Just be open about what you want the whole time and don't hide anything. But yeah, they do exist.

[FunnyButNotFunnyHaHa]

They seem to be real, as in real people have them.

I don't see the point though. I wouldn't want to be dating a girl who was f**king other guys.

Are you interested in making your relationship "open"?

[AnonAndrew]

Yes, of course. They're pretty rare, though.

[Apple1996]

They shouldn't be rare considering it's not natural to be monogamous 😂

[AnonAndrew]

@Apple1996 I agree.

Humans have evolved for polyandry (where one woman has multiple husbands), but society tells us non-stop since we are born that monogamy is the only right and moral choice, so we end up with some screwy ideas around sex and relationships. :(

[Apple1996]

100% yes! Womens reproduction is litterally to take multiple mens sperm like a sperm competition. It's also better if a baby and mother can have multiple men providing for them. So yeah women need multiple husband's just for reproduction alone

[AnonAndrew]

@Apple1996 Yes!

You even see it in the sex act itself. Men orgasm once, and after we pop, we're out of commission for a while. The average man sometimes has a hard time satisfying just one woman, so two or even three women? Forget about it!

But you can put a woman in the bedroom, toss in a whole handful of different men in there, and she can take them all one after the other, or several at a time, or in any combination she likes. She can still get them all off easily, drain them to the last drop, leave them exhausted and completely satisfied while having multiple orgasms herself in the process, and quite possibly still be ready for more at the end of it all.

It's funny how the more you look at human sexuality and relationships, the more obvious it becomes that we are polyandrous by nature. I'm happy to see that I'm not the only one here who has realized this! :)

[Kelly6]

@satinpetals yes and it works for us and we both are happy with it

[exitseven]

I have heard of them but would never have one.

[Ironco]

They are. The couple needs tremendous trust and open communication though.

I've seen it work out great, and I've seen it go horribly bad.

To each their own.

Been a while for me.

[Anonymous]

I know a guy who's in an open relationship. His girl fucks other dudes but he can't find anyone else lol

[Anonymous]

They exist, but usually it’s basically one person (usually the guy) saying they want to be in a relationship and hook up too and the other person reluctantly agreeing.

[HungTexan]

They’re a real thing. Not for everyone, and you need boundaries, full agreement, and trust.

[slatyb]

I've been told two lovely couples I know have an open marriage, but I haven't asked them myself.

[Anonymous]

They might be a thing in the sense that some people do them. But the REALITY is an OPEN relationship is not a relationship. These people are deluding themselves and it's only a matter of time before it falls apart.

[jahaims]

No, they are for immature people who lack introspection

[satinpetals]

I’m not sure I’d go so far to over generalize like that

[nawtee_me]

You always see one girl with two guys when this question is asked. I am wondering how many girls would share their man with another girl and call it a relationship?

[blackeagle007]

Depends. Everyone is different. If I have a companion and she’s interested in that, I may not be or vice versa. People have their needs and wants

[Daphne2005]

sure if you’s can communicate with each other.

[This_Boy_Here]

Yeah, they are if that's your cup of tea. Not for me though.

[Vegasrunner]

They are, all my relationships are open on my end closed on the girls.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

They are indeed a thing

[j_ortan]

They are a thing, but it takes a lot of maturity and good communication for it to work

[ChicoFromThe305]

As far as I could tell they are a thing

[Cormac995]

I'd never be in one period. simple as.

[wincer]

it differs according to the person

[Wiredone]

Not where I'm from it's not

[Agape93]

Yeap

[princeofromance]

Yes, very much so.

[Tstrbrainer]

They are, if you want to make them a thing

[Jimmyhor]

I personally reckon they should

[MasterKS]

Dont you think, its trending.

[Anonymous]

Yes.