How do you rebuild trust after a betrayal?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend secretly met up with his ex for a business project that he’s been working on. He knew it was wrong which is why he didn’t tell me. I found out after I saw his ex posted a pic of him online. I waited almost a month to collect myself bcs I didn’t want to immediately confront him while I was still an emotional wreck. I also gave him plenty of chances to come clean by asking him indirect questions, he never did come clean.

Finally, I called him out on it. Showed him the photo that his ex posted. He confessed and told me the story of what happened and how the meet up went. He knew that his ex is not over him yet, so he knew that she can probably cut him a good deal for her work.

I wasn’t mad but I was extremely disappointed that he didn’t even let me know in advance. Now I don’t even know if I can trust anything that he’s saying to me anymore… He said he’s willing to try and make it up to me but I don't know how I can even begin to try to trust him again. Help please.

[bededazzle]

well, it’s up to you if you want to build trust. it sounds like you want to. you would kind of have to take a leap of faith a bit and it seems like it will be difficult for you. but it also sounds like your partner is genuinely sorry. i think you just have to take some time and follow your heart

[Asker]

I definitely want to give it a try still, and he did seem sorry. He answered every single one of my question. I think you’re right, I just need some time to process the whole thing and really think about whether or not I should stay. Thank you so much for the advice

[bededazzle]

the fact that he was forthright once you called him out is a good sign. but it’s still kind of a big violation of trust. i think knowing how to trust again can only be realized in time. good luck. i’m sure you’ll find your answer

[Asker]

I agree, if he were to get defensive and deny everything then I would leave immediately. Thank you tho, I hope you have an awesome night/day!

[boggboss]

I dont think u can as he didn't fuck up and then let u know he had to be confronted about it and shown proof meh he has shown u he is able to betray your trust and has not issue living with the guilt

[Anonymous]

Difficult. It seems unrealistic in your case

[Staximus]

I don't know about this guy. What else is he going to do behind your back?