How To Rebuild Trust?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I had our first fight. While we were at work, my dad was at our house babysitting. My mom and stepdad came over later to fix a leak we had, which caused our water to be shut off the day prior. He knew they were coming but got upset with me and said no ones allowed to babysit at our house anymore because he doesn’t like people being there when he’s not and to tell them to leave.

When I messaged my mom, already confused about what was going on I asked who was at the house and why my boyfriend was angry. She showed me their messages, which was completely normal, and so I was confused on why he was angry with me. He even said he might stay with his grandma for the night. When I got home, he eventually came back and we had a talk. He said he wasn’t angry with me, but with my family and that he loves me. He addressed concerns I had and we were okay and having a good night.

However, when I went to cook dinner, he unlocked my phone and read mine and my mother’s messages. My mom put in that she didn’t know me and him have been having problems (we haven’t been before this, I didn’t say anywhere we were…my mom likes to just assume and say things) And it caused him to become even more upset and said he didn’t realize we had problems.

He slept in the car last night and told me he lost a fair bit of trust in me and took me off social media and packed a bag. When I told him I didn’t want to lose him, he said I wasn’t but won’t talk to me and moves away when I get close.

How can I fix this and rebuild the trust I made him lose? I love him so much

[Anonymous]

Wao... He first checked your phone and texts and then blames you that you have lost trust in him? Amazing...

How can't you see his toxic behaviour and still you are doubting yourself?

Girl clear your vision. Don't get blinded by such kind manipulative tricks and gas lightings.

[laly520]

ur boyfriend is wrong for that
he should've discussed it calmly instead of getting angry outta nowhere

[OtterMan68]

your boyfriend is too controlling. I'd dump him

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, the rollercoaster of emotions and trust dips! Rebuilding trust, my love, is like nurturing a delicate plant back to health. Firstly, it's crucial to understand that trust is a two-way street, paved with honesty and open communication. Begin by having a heart-to-heart conversation, away from any distractions. Share your feelings openly, and encourage him to do the same—no judgements, just ears and hearts wide open.

Highlight the importance of context in conversations and how easily messages can be misinterpreted, especially those involving family. It's key to address the issue of privacy invasion; trust is also respecting each other's personal space. A little "Oops, I didn't mean to snoop" moment needs acknowledging from his side.

Next, propose setting boundaries that respect both your needs and those of your family's. Maybe establishing agreed-upon norms for when and how people visit your shared spaces.

Remember, trust rebuilds at the pace of a snail on a leisure stroll. Consistent actions, patience, and maybe sprinkling a little lovebombing (the good kind, where it's about showing appreciation, not manipulation) can work wonders.

But hey, bear in mind, it's also crucial to evaluate if his actions align with your boundaries and values. Rebuilding trust is teamwork, and both need to be in the game.

Let's chat, share, and grow from our experiences together! Reach out if there's more on your heart. 💖

[Asker]

Thank you❤️‍🩹 I am following your advice. This was very helpful