Is it possible to rebuild trust? Could you trust someone again?

[Genie23]

I'm not asking about being cheated on or being backstabbed by a friend/partner. I am talking about certain things you expected from your friend or family member (or partner) but when things got tough, they did or almost things you trusted them not to (out of anger/ frustration)

Now you know they're good people and everyone makes mistakes. We all do. They haven't done worse things but the thing they did affected you. Do you think you could ever trust them again if they put efforts to prove that they won't make the same mistake again and choose to be there for you?

[catiecatie]

I could depending on how long it took them and what they did. Take my friend blondie for example. He told me all these things and I called him out on it. He literally stopped talking to me. Couple years later I went to his sisters open house and started talking to him again. Didn’t help who he was dating at the time, but we’ve been there for each other ever since! So about 2 years. In a relationship if I know what you did then no, but if it was a couple months then maybe. I only give second chances to certain individuals, after that you are done.

[Genie23]

I can understand. Thank you for your input!

[bobalife]

Yes with the right intentions, clear and compassionate communication, problem solutions, and forgiveness.

[Genie23]

This made me happy!

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

It is possible... up to a point. Things will never get back to how they were before that trust was broken.

Trust is like a china or porcelain vase - break it, and maybe you can put it back together with glue with a lot of time of and effort, but It will never be as good as new, and the cracks will remain.

[Genie23]

I get what you mean. Thank you for your opinion. It helped

[MementoMori777]

That all depends on the person, personally I have a hard time giving second chances but that all depends if you want to risk it happening again at some point, if you are willing to take the risk for a different result but personally I don't like to expect a different result from the same person.

[Genie23]

I can understand. Thank you for your input!

[MementoMori777]

💯💯

[ChiTown33]

I would think it would depend on what they did. I learned to stop putting expectations on other people long ago. I love my family and I KNOW they love me. I know they would never INTENTIONALLY hurt me. And so I know any perceived slight is NOT intentional.

[Genie23]

I think you're right. I shouldn't expect. It only leads to disappoinment and hurt but it's comforting to think that the person actually didn't intentionally hurt me.

[madgoat]

You're suggesting they are fundamentally a good person, just flawed. You learned something new about them. Sounds like you can trust them to be them. Everyone has their limitations. We just need to understand what they are.

[Genie23]

You're right. We all have our limits. Thank you so much. I needed to hear this.

[Massageman]

I view it like a savings account. Deposits of "trust" are made into it over time. Trust "shortfalls" draw on that "bank" of trust

[Genie23]

I like how you think

[SunnyRS]

It is possible but the relationship is never the same again, you can reach a 90 percent trust level but there is always that ten percent that stays cautious.
It's like this, trust is a thread once broken you can tie it back together but there is still a knot that reminds you that it was broken.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

If someone does something that's against my trust, then it will take a long time for me to trust them again.

[Genie23]

I can understand

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Genie23 Thank you )

[lightbulb27]

yes I think so but it's some work and change required.

[Genie23]

I feel hopeful now. Thank you

[sirderpsalot123]

Yes, but it takes effort from both people. You have to be willing to actually forgive instead of holding it against them. They have to not fuck up again.

[Genie23]

You really made a good point. Both need to put effort. If the other person is putting efforts but you're still holding things again, things are never going to get better again.

[Genie23]

Wow. It must have been so difficult to get past that but I can understand why you chose to forgive. It was needed so you won't lose faith in others as well. Thank you for your honesty!

Andddd deleted, lol.

[sirderpsalot123]

It took some time, but we're in a good place now.

Thank you, lol...

[Genie23]

I'm glad to hear that. This gives me hope! Now I think I can forgive and trust.

You're welcome! lol

[sirderpsalot123]

I'll be waiting for my MHO 😎 (joking of course, lol)

[Genie23]

🤣🤣🤣

[Simslover92]

I think I could. It would take a lot of work but I think I would be able to eventually.

[Genie23]

I'm glad to hear that!

[AviatorTom]

Trust us an interesting thing. It can be earned, lost, and re-earned.

[Genie23]

I needed to hear that. Thank you so much.

[sheikalana]

It is possible but it takes lots of time and effort from both sides.

[Genie23]

That's comforting to hear. Thank you

[Still-alive]

depending on what they did of course id sa yes its possible. that person is gonna have a huge uphill battle to climb to get there though.

[Genie23]

I couldn't agree more

[Grond21]

Yes, trust can absolutely be rebuilt if those steps are taken.

[Genie23]

I needed to hear that. Thank you.

[Grond21]

You are welcome..

The way I look at it there are four steps that are involved in quality trust rebuilding.

Naming what was done wrong.
Apologizing for what was done wrong.
A promised not to do it again with a plan on what that looks like.
Following through on that promise?

[Grond21]

Ignore the? at the end

[Genie23]

They did apologise and acknowledged theirs mistake. I know they genuinely care so I don't think they would do that again but there's still fear in me even though they're proving from their action that they care and won't give up. I guess I just need a promise.

[Grond21]

You also need to see over time that they are continuing to hold to their promise. And as they do you can let trust rebel while also being ready in case it's broken again.

[Grond21]

Trust takes time. And you have to be okay with it.

[Genie23]

That's true. I should be guarded for some time and see if they are consistent or I'll get hurt once again. Thank you for pointing that out. You've been really helpful!

[Grond21]

Yes, or you could also call it being careful. Trust but verify. Until they have earned your trust back.
You are very welcome!!

[Bklynbadboy12]

Of course you can you just have to want to rebuild that trust. If you want to do it and your willing to put in the work anything is possible

[Genie23]

That's comforting to hear

[Bklynbadboy12]

Why what's wrong

[Alex8736]

you can forgive but don't forget because history always tends to repeat itself

[Genie23]

But can you trust them away if they haven't done something extreme?

[Alex8736]

letting it go can cause things to get more extreme so it's always best to keep your guard up like the saying goes "screw me over once shame on you, screw me over twice shame on me". just looking out 😃

[Genie23]

Ah! I get it. Thank you! 😇

[Alex8736]

always keep your back to the wall because you never know when someone is going to deal you a cheap shot

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Trust and apathy go hand in hand. You can't convince me otherwise

[Jltakk]

Its possible, repaired a rocky friendship. It's hard enough to trust myself however

[Genie23]

This gives me hope

[Agape93]

Nope. You break my trust, you're done. No second chances, no rebuilding trust.

[YourExLover69]

Sheesha ho ya Dil ho aakhir... Toot jata he. Pehle wala trust nahi rehta. Dil me Kuch na Kuch reh jata he phir bhi

[roy_ricky09]

I have a very simple rule that I set with anyone. I'll trust the person once, if they break it, never trust again.

[Ms_Facesitter]

It depends on how big that backstab was. I probably would forgive them but not trust them anymore.