If one parent is against spanking but does nothing when the other parent spanks, are they just as guilty?

[sunshinexoxo1]

If someone has a strong belief in not spanking kids but does absolutely nothing (except look in sadness and shock or plead them to stop but do nothing else) when the other parent spanks, are they just as guilty too?

In the past it was the mother just watching and doing absolutely nothing, excusing that maybe it's the father's duty to discipline. He would use a belt or paddle. Over the years, tables have turned. In certain households it's the father saying nothing and letting the mother doing the spanking even though he's against it.

If you're against it so much but let the other parent do it, are you just as guilty for doing nothing?

[Astarlessnightsky]

Yes, however if the other partner this abusive to his kids its also likely they are abusive towards their partner. So it may be just two victims not being able to help each other.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Absolutely.. The word you're looking for is complicit!

[sunshinexoxo1]

Exactly. My best friend doesn't have a good relationship with her mother because of that. She hates her for doing absolutely nothing, for not calling the cops on her father. She's against spanking and unlike her mother, if she ever married someone that spanks her kids, she said it herself that would be the first and last time he ever hits her kids, she would deal with him herself before cops get in the door. She doesn't understand why would a parent just watch and do nothing.

[TommyMountainFigure]

The only 2 possibilities are:-

1) They aren't against it as much as they would like other people to think they are
2) They are too scared what it might do to the relationship if they DO interfere.

Those 2 have one thing in common.. They are cowards!

[boggboss]

I guess if it's between parents and they have the ability to voice their concerns

[sunshinexoxo1]

It's one thing if they've reached a compromise (ex: only spanking with the hands and no more than 3 swats) but another if the spanking parents takes over, thinks their way is the only correct method and spanks with belts, paddles or other household and refuses to listen to their partner telling them to stop.

[boggboss]

Then their is a conflict of ideas and requires essentially a ending off the relationship with attempt to get costady which if its the father is likely to fail which would leave the child with a parent thats wholly abusive

[jahaims]

Both are garbage parents

[sunshinexoxo1]

Pretty much it. If you do nothing but just watch, that means you're agreeing to what your child is suffering at that moment.

[whereismyjohnny]

Yup.