Could a College Nightclub Party Help a Wallflower Into Becoming More Social?

[Anonymous]

Rag day will be next week for me and it'll be followed by a college party in a nightclub.

And I'm that classmate, the quiet one. Literally a wallflower in person; seems like I can't make friends for dear life.

Even my teacher is worried and keeps bringing this up every time I have a 1 to 1 interview with him each half-term.

Help. I'm reaching that point where I'm starting to think that drastic problems require drastic solutions. And that's why I've been wondering whether I should or not go to this college party.

I've never been to any nightclub before though so I don't know if that'll be helpful or if I might be at risk if I go there as I don't have experience nor friends to go with me.

[caring__1]

You're more likely to come out of your shell in a structured rather than non-structured situation. Do some volunteer work, or join an organization that promotes an interest of yours. Take on a position of responsibility, so you know what is expected of you. Let people see you in action, and you're more likely to be accepted and appreciated for the person you are.

[KrakenAttackin]

@caring__1. THIS

[Wise4myage]

Only if you interact with other people.

[Anonymous]

Well a party's not going to help, you'll just sit there talking to no one. You need an ongoing organized activity with a purpose where everyone is relying on everyone else to get it done. Then you'll meet a lot of people and actually get to know them with no social pressure.

[mandyfire98]

Well I've seen many a student come out of their shell while they're in college. Usually it is going to social functions like parties and clubs and bars and just talking to people. Alcohol can help as a social lubricant. Just don't get out of hand with it.

[CalmUntilAbused]

Oh, it might be an awful idea. I've heard about a certain six-digit manga following the life of one such wallflower pursuing friendship, and while I do not know any specific details of that manga, I have to say this kind of situation is quite likely to develop into a six-digit manga plot.

Now, to be more serious (and more wholesome) - it's perfectly fine to be a wallflower, really. Most of the decent girls I know or used to know are wallflowers, and to be honest I'd personally trust a wallflower girl more than a flashy one.

[KrakenAttackin]

You are probably going to be overwhelmed by these events, TBH. Take things at your own lacey, DO NOT turn to alcohol and/or drugs to "loosen up". It's OK to be a wallflower, it's ok to be shy.

Frankly I think you would be better off to join a group (like a hiking group, archery, animal rescue, whatever).

Pushing yourself into a loud, drug/alcohol fueled event may do more damage than good.

[CalmUntilAbused]

I couldn't have put it better. Also, wallflowers are usually the best girls out there.

[KrakenAttackin]

@CalmUntilAbused Absolutely, positively, agree!

[WhitneySnow]

You should go but be careful of guys trying to pick you up under the guise of wanting to be friends.

[BoopBoopBeep]

What do you mean "at risk?" Like it's secretly a human trafficking club? Go to a different one.

[magiusX26]

sure. but in that same sort of way, so could catching a cold. in other words, is it possible, yes, is it likely, no. "could" implies asking if something is possible.

[magiusX26]

reading further, you are letting other's words have you overthink yourself deeper into your insecurities. you give the impression that you believe having lots of people as "friends" makes you. it doesn't. in fact it even suggests that you believe you hqve to change being who you are to achieve getting said friends, meaning you would have to be a fake you maling any such friendships fake by default too. you 1st need to learn to be comfortable being yourself, then comfortable trying to make quality real friends. it is a slow process but it is proven to work the best overall.

[FreyaRed]

Such parties aren't proper place to find new people. Parties after parties are.

[exitseven]

Ask some other kids in the class if they are going. Then say maybe you will see them there. You can go by yourself and meet up with people later.

[Tapeworm]

If you're going to a nightclub, i don't recommend alcohol. It hurts the liver. Instead try raw meat and steroids.

[Veles]

uh what a caveman, wanna go to the nightclub with me tonight?

[Tapeworm]

@Veles are you eager for some raw meat slapping?

[Veles]

I say to slap that raw meat in its bloody form to disturb the public peace

[RedInnocent68]

Probably not. Unless you have a friend looking out for you and introducing you, etc.