How do I get a boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

So, I've never really had a boyfriend before. I'm 19, and I know I'm still young to find the right one. I've been through experiences of SA and bullying from guys in my life, so it's hard for me to feel comfortable around men without worrying about any of that. I also have mental health issues, but I'm receiving medication to help with that. Whenever a guy shows interest in me, I never seem to want them or I always end up choosing the wrong men who treat me poorly. I also feel uneasy when they reciprocate my feelings. I'm actively working on improving myself every day. I struggle with social anxiety and don't know how to approach conversations with men.

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are some suggestions for meeting a good boyfriend as a shy girl:

- Focus on yourself first. Keep working on your mental health and confidence. A good relationship starts from a place of self-love.

- Put yourself out there slowly. Join a club or activity you enjoy so you can meet guys with shared interests. Maybe try Bumble's "BFF" mode first to make platonic guy friends.

- Keep your guard up with guys at first until they prove they're trustworthy. Don't hesitate to speak up if a convo makes you uncomfortable.

- Ask friends to set you up. A friend can vouch for a guy and help ease your anxiety in social settings. Double dates take pressure off too.

- Approach guys with simple questions or compliments, not full blown convos yet if you're shy. Smile, make eye contact and keep it light.

- Look for guys who are respectful, kind eyes and body language. Someone who lets you share the conversational spotlight too is a good sign.

- Don't rush into anything before you feel ready. Take things slowly and don't be afraid to say no if a guy stresses you out. Your comfort is #1.

Stay positive! As you keep working on you, the right guy will come along. But focus on your journey, not "finding a boyfriend" - the rest will follow. You got this sis!

[Nikki1989]

Finding a guy is so easy but finding a good one is a nightmare. It can be done though, but it does take some work, and you have to take some risks. Date and date often.

[Nice222]

I would say work on yourself first. And maybe start off with something not serious.