Should a girlfriend of 5 years who bought a house with boyfriend have to Venmo pay him back for gas money, groceries, pizza, etc?

[Lurenbaby27]

Bought a house together 2 years ago, no promise or engagement ring and been together for almost 6 years. Still paying him back for slice of pizza, nail clippings from vet for a pet we got together, and gas money for driving me to work when my car was in the shop, plus gifting him some money just cause

Yes

No

Here for poll

[OlderAndWiser]

These are the details which you should have discussed and decided before buying a house and living together. Do you have any agreement with him on how bills should be divided?

In my home, I pay all of the expenses except her car payment, her car insurance, her phone, and she pays the internet service. I can afford that and she can't.

[molonski2]

It depends completely on the situation with the house , a holistic approach , this is only stating one side.

[antelope51]

If she's using half the stuff, she should be footing half the bill.
On the flip side, another arrangement that sometimes works is if one of you makes 75% of the income, they pay 75% of the bills, and if the other makes 25% of the income, they pay 25% of the bills. But nobody gets a free ride...

[zariahdp]

It’s definitely NOT a free ride it seems like they’re not a team. So since he’s expecting money back every time he does something for her she needs to do the same or fucking leave. What happened to handling things together? Not tit for tat with $

[antelope51]

@zariahdp Well, yeah. You can't preemptively spend money and then say "you owe me for something you had no say in."

We have our joint house we each contribute the same amount to for the household expenses/bills. Then we have our own accounts for our individual wants. If we want something big for the house, we both add in additional budgetting/contribution, but if one is a hard "no," and the other is a hard "yes," then it's up to yes to figure it out. Like, I don't pay for cable, because I don't watch t. v. but he can't live without it, so he pays for it. I benefit from having t. v., but if it shut off tomorrow, I wouldn't complain. Likewise, I pay for everything dog. He enjoys having the dogs, but they're definitively mine. This was partly arranged this way (20 years ago) because if we broke up, I would get sole custody of my dogs. I bought them, I vetted them, I trained them, I fed them, I should get to keep them. If he did all that, as much as it hurt, I would have to let them go. We only started jointly paying for dog care with this latest one, and that's because we've been together for 20 years and are pretty confident at this point that we're not going to suddenly break up. And if we do, there are going to be bigger issues to sort out than whose dog she is.

[zariahdp]

I agree with you!

[LazerBean]

If you aren't married, then your money is your and his money is his. This kind of weirdness is exactly why this entire situation shouldn't be done.

[Dave6769]

Hell no you shouldn't have to pay anything back to him not being in a committed relationship like your in. It anything I've always took pride in being the man and working so I could pay to get the things she needed or take us out to eat date night etc. He just sounds like a cheap bastard who still is only ultimate looking out for his self sweetheart