Is it still cheating if you aren't in love and haven't been for a while but haven't broken up?

Question

My boyfriend has been working in the mines, usually 3 weeks on 2 weeks off, and it's getting hard in those off weeks and I met a guy who's been paying me the attention I have been craving and I've decided to break up with my boyfriend but he's away for another 10 days would it still be cheating if I'm no longer in love and I sleep with the new guy?

Updates

+1 y

Some really weak people in this thread, both mentally and physically.

When a woman slaps a man across the face, it's not about causing physical hurt, it's a way to let him know he's gone too far!

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Sorry but. You started cheating. The second time you started talking with the new guy...

And it's really kind of sad that you didn't really stop and think about this.

You didn't stop and think about your boyfriend

You didn't stop and think about the new guy

You might have stopped but I doubt it but it seems to me the only person that you're thinking about is yourself

And that's all good but it's really kind of sad

The sad part is your boyfriend's a guy that goes and works his ass off every day to provide a home food things for you.

He gets to look back and say damn she really didn't even love me she didn't even like me but he will benefit in the long run

You you get what you want or what you think you want

And to be honest with you you shouldn't be asking us this question you should be asking your new boyfriend

Because he's only going to think about himself too

See one day he will be out some place and he will meet a girl he doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend he doesn't matter who she is he's going to try to pick up on her because he has no morals values or ethics

If he did it with you he will do it to you too

So we can all look at this and say your poor boyfriend
But I'm not going to say that I'm going to say good luck buddy don't worry it was never meant to be you will find somebody 10 times better you're starting out the new year right I know it doesn't seem like this right now but believe me you will be happier.

And once he understands this he will be the person that made out because you too will never work just because you're both too selfish and you only think about yourselves

And what comes around goes around you know that old saying

But I'm not going to leave it in a negative place I'll say good luck to you and your new boyfriend the one you're cheating with and may you two work out.. and for your ex I say dude just smiled accepted smile and move on because you're going to be 10 times happier

And I would say this probably isn't the first guy anyway so anyway have a happy New Year

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

YES!

You are still together. Until you are not together, you cannot be with anyone else without cheating - which you are already doing (emotionally cheating).

If you found out your boyfriend was sleeping with, or even just talking to another woman right now, you'd be mad that he was cheating, right? Of course, because he's made a commitment to you. You've done the same with him, and you've broken that commitment already at some level, and clearly want to break it at all levels.

This means that you are selfish and that your word means nothing. And when other guys find out about that - and they will - it means they won't take you seriously as a relationship partner, which means they'll feel free to use you for casual sex, but won't offer you a relationship commitment.

Eventually, you'll wonder why "all guys are jerks" - and why you can't get what other girls have gotten (a relationship). When that time comes, find the closest mirror, and look at it, and you'll see the problem staring back at you. That person in the mirror is who you need to blame.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

Why are women in your age group always cheating? Gee's can't you contain yourself until he gets back from work?
If you want to be a slutty cheater than your're just like most of the girls out there. No wonder guys are always saying women are selfish and slutty cheater's.
Don't do it!!!

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Technically you haven't broken up, though you have "in your mind." But be fair to the boyfriend in the mines and wait 10 days.

Yes it's cheating and it's cruel to someone you once loved. Be kind and respectful and keep your pants on for two more weeks.

Finchie40 · Answer

You already cheated , by investing your time into another guy while your boyfriend is away at work. This is typical behavior of a selfish person , You are a selfish person , that only thinks about yourself , so the damage is already done , you are best to be upfront and honest with your boyfriend and end it with him as soon as you talk to him.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You are already cheating. You just don't want to admit it.

AviatorTom · Answer

If you haven't broken up, then it's cheating... but you knew that, didn't you.

Guccigabbana18 · Answer

"Some really weak people in the thread, both mentally and physically."  -- Are you a troll? A serious question. YOU should know very well that this is cheating; you know deep down, otherwise you probably wouldn't have asked the question for reassurance or to hear what you want to hear.  I might be being judgmental but you sound selfish in relationships. Like you only want to keep someone around for  your  needs, and then will monkey branch to someone else as soon as you find a so-called "better" deal. For someone who claims to have loved your boyfriend, you seem to care disproportionately about your feelings over his.  If you're no longer in love, it is common decency to tell your soon-to-be ex boyfriend. Something along the lines of "I don't love you anymore. I want to break up." Whatever gets the point across. It doesn't have to be long and drawn out. Break up and THEN get with the new guy. It's horrible for your current boyfriend otherwise.

CalmUntilAbused · Answer

Well... The way I see it... Cheating is only really a thing in marriage (as getting involved in any acts of mating before marriage is a whole different kind of sin). However, sleeping with another guy when in a relationship with Your boyfriend is definitely a betrayal of trust and as such, it is wrong. What's more, He is most likely still in love with You (I mean, I would take virtually any job instead of the mines, given the way it would affect my health, and I would totally disregard any possible money benefits I might get). If He is working in such a job, He's most likely giving it His all for You, which makes being unfaithful to Him even worse.

blueonblack22 · Answer

Your current boyfriend can’t read your mind that the axe is going to fall. He probably knows it will eventually. However it’s not like he broke up you because you mentally moved on. So yes you already started to cheat.

Also your update When a woman slaps a man across the face, it's not about causing physical hurt….really says a lot about you. A whole hell of a lot about you. Do you identify as “feminist” by chance?

You sound like a typical self centered “modern” women who cares more about “being right” vs WHAT is right.

Deep down you know you already stepped in bullshit territory. But now you want to dive head first.

So instead of owning up to it you are searching for someone to tell you “oh that’s alright” like you are the victim or something. What you are doing isn’t right nor does anybody feel sorry for you. You can’t even wait 10 days.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Technically yes, since you are still in a relationship, good or bad with someone else.
I guess you are the only one that has to deal with that part, but you do need to consider the ramifications it will have on others once it comes out what you are doing.
I have been cheated on twice, once with my former wife while we were married, I knew something was going on, and I did catch them together, and later a girlfriend was also cheating but I also figured that one out.
It wasn't fun to be in that position.
So do it right, end the relationship that you are in and then you are free to do what you want with whomever you want.

glennos89 · Answer

Yes ofcourse it's cheating! You are purposely breaking your guys heart when you do that. It's a really fucked up thing to do. How would you feel if a guy you love starts fucking other girls while being in a relationship with you? 🤨

About your update... I'm not sure what you think it's okay for a woman to slap any man... Just understand that if you do so, you have NO right of accusing him or l blaming him for knocking you the fuck out after that. The only one who is to blame for that would be you then 💯

sawno · Answer

Of course, you have to break up for it not to count as cheating.
However since you have basically hit the point you only are still together because you don't want to break up over the phone thats an edge case. I don't think it really counts in that case because your not cheating on the relationship, your just not waiting to finish the formality of breaking up after you already decided you will.

Dave6769 · Answer

I don't think it's a matter of being understanding as much As you kinda trying to justify the deceit at the end of. the day loyalty is loyalty it's like respect both should be valued very high on a priorities of life kinda chart once lost neither one ever goes back. listen you could be a great person and that's great much respect. knowing your doing wrong and continuing to do so kinda speaks to the level of loyalty you had for set person ya know 8 state plus I think your forgetting the Mental state and how fucked up they've could leave

molonski2 · Answer

You probably need to tell him first the word " cheating " is bullshit really especially at your age , go out with the new guy , but wait the 10 days , break up , then bang the new guy senseless.
FIFO work pays well , but always creates situations like this.
Anyhow , Go for it !

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Yes, seems pretty obvious. Plus you are cheating on the new guy because I bet he doesn't know you already have a boyfriend. Stop trying to go around the issue so you don't come out the villain. Just admit your wrong doings lol.

Altheavas · Answer

You’re being a little delusional because, you didn’t breakup with your the current boyfriend whether you’re in love with him or not, and you’re fucking someone else, you just do not want to admit it!

JacobJordan · Answer

Yup. You end things like a decent human being instead of being a pos. There is a reason you posted anon. If you had even a remote thought it wasn't you would have owned it and posted with your name.

aceleon · Answer

absolutly. your pseudo love doesn't matter it is cheating whether you love him or not since you ARE with him. wait the 10 days and break up properly at least be human enough to do that you disease.

SphynxUK · Answer

Of course it’s cheating. Why are with him if you don’t love him? And why are you trying to blame him for working away? Is 2-3 weeks really too long to wait for him to return? Sheesh. Poor bloke.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

Yes, that's still cheating. As you're still in a relationship with your boyfriend.

JTPeterson · Answer

Yes it would be until you officially tell the guy you are in a relationship with that it’s over if you sleep with the other guy you are cheating on your current boyfriend

LadyKitty · Answer

Cheating is cheating no matter what way you try to frame it. If you can't handle that he is away that much then you should have talked about it or just broke it off rather than running into another man's arm the minute it got uncomfortable.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Yes.
Love is about sacrafice not your feelings. But if you won't sacrafice then move on. You might wxamine yourself as to why. Ex… is it hard to be alone? Why? Seem that before.

wouldn't give him a chance to change job?

TadBehaya · Answer

Just admit that you're cheating, hun. No other way around it

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Yes until you don't officially break off the other relationship you are a cheater, if you already been past the friendly stage with this other guy, you've already recieved the title 🤝

Anonymous · Answer

😆😆😆 "when you want to cheat but you're looking for a loophole to not look disgusting about it".

fantasticass · Answer

You're boyfriend doesn't deserve you. Tell him the truth. Working in the mines is extremely difficult, so obviously you don't deserve such a good man

smashleyy · Answer

girl you can’t wait 10 days to get folded after you’re single?

Grond21 · Answer

If you think a relationship is dependent on how you feel in the moment instead of the commitment you made, you will never have a successful relationship your entire life

Billlewis · Answer

Although it may technically be cheating, I think if you want to sleep with the new guy, you should.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Yes. If you haven't ended the relationship its still cheating

thatshydork · Answer

Yes because even though you’re not in love with him, you’re still with him.

AlphaMale1 · Answer

If you are no longer in love with him your relationship is over. You have just not realized it yet.

DarcyDarcy · Answer

You've already cheated. You could've waited after the 10 days. Now you're just trying to find a way to make it sound that's ok cause he's away working.  You cheated, accept it.

Orangekiss · Answer

Wow! You don't know the definition of a cheater by now?

tzdc21 · Answer

Yeah that's still cheating. You haven't officially broken up with your current boyfriend so you would still be cheating on him.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, any sexual activity with anyone who is not your partner is cheating, end of story, end of discussion..

I can't believe 304's like you try to justify cheating this way.. It's not surprising coming from the dishonest narcissistic gender.

JHAYES317 · Answer

Yes it’s obviously cheating. Wait the 10 days, break up with your boyfriend and then get together with the other guy. It’s not that hard lady, it’s just common decency

Crankor · Answer

If you haven't broken up with him then yah it's still cheating. Being in love is a continuous thing that comes and goes. But if you don't love you boyfriend then why are you dragging him along?

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Yes. Cheating isn’t about mental state, it’s about actions.

jaskin777 · Answer

My boyfriend works in the ministry to  N yes it consider cheating

AmeerX · Answer

Sleeping with a guy so early. You are not even worth the time. Your current boyfriend will have doged a bullet

Luckycharms12 · Answer

You are in love with boyfriend. But as said enjoying the attention and if doesn't work out think can get your boyfriend back let's be honest that'd real truth here

Tomisworthless · Answer

You can cheat all you want until you’re married then that’s when the relationship is truly official. But be warned that you may be seen as unfaithful and unworthy of commitment if you do

Becky316 · Answer

Yes, it is. Break up in person first! BEFORE, sleeping with this other guy.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

If you're flirting with someone else while still in a relationship? Yes it is.

magiusX26 · Answer

yes. emotions alone do not make a relationship nor commitment.

Anonymous · Answer

If he doesn't know that he's free to sleep with someone else, but you do, then yeah it's cheating.

admles · Answer

Yes, it's cheating. Stop trying to find a way to justify it.

NWPFPB · Answer

Yes. Cheating is when you are in a relationship and get with another partner without your current partners knowledge and approval. Love has no relevancy to the definition of cheating.

Yoursweetgirl · Answer

Yes it is. But I think you already cheated when you started talking with this guy.

Staximus · Answer

Stop being a fucking skeezer and break up with him first

pickles77 · Answer

Of course your cheating, love is more then just a feeling it’s also your faithfulness. So chose to love him. Don’t be selfish.

serious_miss419 · Answer

It’s all good, he’s probably got a wife friend at work.

Guido · Answer

You have already cheated. Your just looking for permission to cheat. Does not work like that.

Nice222 · Answer

Just do what you gotta do. It won’t matter in the end.

Anonymous · Answer

Unfortunately yes...  You need to break up with him first and make sure it's completely over..

LiamJHayden · Answer

You know it is.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Yes. If that’s the case, break up.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

That's the exact definition of cheating, honey.

DreamLife7 · Answer

Another troll another day

Mrtcn01 · Answer

dont worry go ehaed you need a penis

Is it still cheating if you aren't in love and haven't been for a while but haven't broken up?

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