I feel left out when my boyfriend goes out and doesn't invite me. What do I do?

[holly6090]

So I am having this big issue in my relationship. I am 23 and my boyfriend is 25. We have been dating for a year and a half now. This issue has been going on for about a year now. He works throughout the week and will go out with his friends a couple times a month. They will go out to the bars and hang out. I have asked him multiple times if he could maybe invite me out every once in a while and says that he will try but never does. There are times when I am working that night and he goes out and doesn't invite me, that makes sense but there are other nights when he will go out and not invite me while I am in my house. One time he went out to this invite with his friends at a bar and didn't ask if I wanted to come at all. I have seen pictures that his friends post on social media and my boyfriend is taking photos with guys and girls and looks like he is having a great time. Early in the relationship, he went out with friends and came back and told me that "he wished I was there" but didn't think of inviting me at all. There have been a couple of times when a girlfriend is invited or even a female friend is invited but when I ask my boyfriend he always kind of has an excuse. I have other friends but I only see them once every month. I am not expecting him to ask me out every time. I don't know what to do. A part of me is scared that he does not want to invite me out because he might be doing something unloyal or disrespectful. What do I do?

[Oliverlogan263]

I totally get why you'd be feeling left out in this situation. That's really not cool of your boyfriend to keep leaving you out like that, especially when he sees other girls are getting invited along. No wonder you're starting to question what he's up to when you're not around! Any time a guy acts that suspiciously, it's usually for a reason.

I think at this point you need to have a serious talk with him and really lay it all out - how his actions are making you feel, that one-word excuses aren't cutting it anymore, and that the lack of trust is becoming an issue. Come at it from a place of caring about the relationship, not accusation. Pay attention to how he reacts and what he says - is he defensive, trying to turn it on you, or actually listening with empathy?

If he still keeps brushing it off after that, then you've got your answer unfortunately. You don't deserve to be anyone's secret or second option. As hard as it might be, you need to start thinking if this is the type of treatment you're willing to put up with long term. Your feelings are totally valid here. I know it's scary to consider ending things, but staying in a relationship that makes you feel this way will only make you more miserable. You deserve a partner who wants to show you off to their friends! Feel free to message me if you need any more advice or just someone to vent to. I'm always here for you!

[HighSky]

You're talking behind his back why don't you say this directly to his face? If you can't then you're a massive coward.

[Summeroflove]

I don’t know. But you can always go do something.

[GWolcott]

Ask him politely to come along

at worse he will just say no

[RedInnocent68]

Go out yourself.