Would you give a second chance to a lover who cheated on you?

Question

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

No, never.

That can never be undone, they'd be dead to me. I'm pretty hard core on that. In some of these Reddit stories where you hear about a marriage and then it comes out that one of them cheated years before, before they got married and the one partner didn't know but they've been married for like 10 years and apparently the partner has been faithful since (BUT WITH A CHEATER WHO LIES AND BETRAYS... YOU CAN NEVER TRUST ANYTHING THEY SAY AT THAT POINT) I'm on the side of divorcing.

Many may say, "It was so long ago", "they've been a good mate for 10 years", "are you going to throw away a marriage over something so long ago?"

Hell yes. I wouldn't even blink. Those entire 10 years were a disgusting lie. That mate was tricked... deceived into that union due to the lying. That relationship died and ended the second they cheated, they other spouse just didn't know about it yet.

No way to ever be with a cheater again.

ChicoFromThe305 · Accepted Answer

No, that's the quickest for them to lose their respect for you, it shows weakeness to set a boundary and when it's broken you don't act according to that broken boundary, if they see that it can get to their head and they will do it again "if they forgave me once, they will do it again" type of mentality, I'm not saying you can't forgive but some people just don't deserve second chances, you can forgive and not give second chances and it's how is act according to this situation.

blueonblack22 · Answer

9 out 10 times hell no. There are some very rare exceptions. Like two people were in a long distance relationship and one person had something traumatic happen to them, they got depressed/lonely and made a one time huge mistake and most importantly confessed it and took full accountability for it. And the confession should be like “I made a huge mistake and I make no excuses for it whatsoever. I will understand if you want to leave me but I own up to it.” THAT is how someone takes accountability.

The biggest thing that pissed me off about cheaters is how they try to self justify and/or blame their partner for their shitty decision.

I see young women posting on GAG all the time about this crap. Instead of taking responsibility for their shitty decision they try to gaslight their bfs/husbands. They are almost always looking for someone to tell them “it’s okay” and placare their guilt. They want somebody to magically take away their guilt vs. taking full responsibility for their bullshit.

Personally I find the attitude these young women have about their shitty behavior actually worse then the actual incident in itself. You almost never see male cheaters looking for a shoulder to cry on.

Male cheaters usually:

Are quiet about it and accept the guilt
Own up to their bs and accept the consequences
Admit their bs and don’t give a f*ck about it. That’s a shitty thing to do but at least they aren’t looking for sympathy.

Anyway if some guy cheated on you and shows little/no remorse for it then drop him like a hot potato. If he does show remorse but blames you for anything do the same thing. However if he takes full responsibility then I will leave it up to you. Still wouldn’t trust him though.

Adventurer23 · Answer

Nope. Do it once and you're gone. If you develop feelings for someone else, just end the relationship. Like, if the relationship is so devoid that you feel the need to be with someone else, it's over. If you go to someone else it shows me you no longer care. Bye! Don't let the doorknob hit you in the butt on the way out. 👋

Luckily, I've never been cheated on, but I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to cheating. I know I would NEVER do that to someone. Cheating is one of the sh*ttiest, most selfish, careless and needlessly destructive things you can do to someone else. I have no respect for cheaters.

SeymourBill420 · Answer

The only one time I had a woman cheat on me, was about 22 years ago. I was probably 22, and she was probably 19 or so I don't really exactly remember. And the only reason why she did was I was going to work at 6:00 in the morning, and then coming home at 8:00 or 9:00 p. m., eating only once in a day, and crashing out. And I wasn't able to give her the intention that I should have. But, when you got to work and you're the only one working to pay your bills, you got to do what you got to do sometimes unfortunately.
And then since then I have never ever ever had another woman cheat on me. When you pretty much do in the bedroom and romantically everything what a Girl wants. She won't cheat on you

NathanDavis · Answer

nope... trust is a must for me, so I can't really rely on an absolute lack of trust to love someone...

that would make no sense at all to me

I would still "forgive" them though, but no... our relationship would have to end

TameBunny · Answer

As a woman, yes because I've been there done that. I don't care what anyone else says or what's right, if he is the only man I want then I'm not to move on until he's out of my system. Otherwise, I will end up "rebounding" with the exact same "person" over and over again.

Would a man stay? No, 9/10 times the answer is no. Only exception is if THEY KNOW they're the reason you cheated. Men are emotionally complex creatures just like women. If a man knows he's been ignoring your needs and pushed you away then he's going to own his sh*t.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course, as long as he's willing to make amends and go out of his way to prove that he's sorry for what he did before. Also, he's going to go above and beyond to take care of me, prove how committed he is to me, and do better by me in the future. This would mean forking over major leverage.

After my ex cheated, I had him give me most of his life savings. Put me on his bank account. Name me as a beneficiary on all investment accounts. Give me usernames and passwords to all investment accounts. Sign over his car to me. Give me all passwords. Put a camera in his room. Give up porn. Cater to my needs more. Work harder.

It was pretty intense to make the penalties match the crime and giving him a chance to demonstrate how much he truly wants to be here while allowing him to stay.

But, he's done nearly everything asked of him. Things have settled down and are better. He proved he really wants to be here and not off cheating.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

cheating means he knew what he was doing. He did it deliberately. I don't have high expectations, and my boundaries are clear. If he was interested in another woman it would be enough to finish the current relationship with me.

If he has chosen to deliberately break the trust and show disrespect... what second chance do we speak about here? Relationship without trust? I don't believe in such.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

Unpopular opinion, but I did in the past and could forgive it, granted that she's genuinely regretful.

Obviously she'll be sleeping on the couch (if not on the carpet) for months, and she'd have to do the bulk of the job to win me back, and at the first misstep she's out on her butt. But I would be willing to try to forgive - of course I wouldn't forget, and if it happens again she'll be out on her butt before she can even blink.

robhazelnut · Answer

She would first have to pass a test. 1 date a week for a year, with no sex, in which I never pay for her, and can look at her phone communications at the end of each date to show whether or not she's having sex with anyone. It would also be a test of mutual interest.

shanshu · Answer

People can be weak but I think it depends on if they tell you themselves or if they got caught, if they got caught, if they got caught you don't know how long it was going on but if they told you even though it could be the end of the relationship it showed they cared enough for you to be honest.

Problem is though even if they took them back the relationship wouldn't be the same because the trust is broken. The person will alway wonder if their partner will cheat again whenever they glance at another person or laugh and giggle with them or if they are working late or out drinking.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

Typically, no. Amending and keeping the friendship, sure. But I wouldn't trust her with more.

And if she's a liar and a back talker? Then I vanish. And if she not only lies, but wastes everyone's time getting a detective involved? That's pretty much a lifetime ban. At that point, she may as well have committed identity theft. And I'll treat her accordingly.

Fireguy17 · Answer

No, I've been cheated on twice and I left both times.

One came back to see me, I know she wanted to get back together, but I just wasn't sure what to do.

I just didn't think I could get past what she did so I passed.

To this day I still wonder what if.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Hell no. I’ve done that once and she told me she would get back with him in a heartbeat. She did. Getting back together was the worst decision of my life. Will never happen again. I decided that day that I will never do second chances again.

BlissfullyCurSed · Answer

NO.  Once a cheater, always a cheater!

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

No. She's done, blocked and ghosted. No exceptions.

SixFootSexy · Answer

If someone cheats there's very little worth saving if you don't have kids with them.

Singing_Hollow · Answer

I might be able to forgive and take back but never trust them again and I know a relationship i based on trust and therefore it would be pointless so No

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Probably as long as they were really repentant, recognized it as a terrible decision and wanted to get my trust back for sure.. None of us are perfect, and as long as they aren't a serial cheater (in my eyes) the relationship can be saved..

bolverk · Answer

No, the phrase "Once a cheater - Always a cheater" exists for a reason - A CHEATER NEVER CHANGES!

sheikalana · Answer

Only if we had kids in common. But I'm well aware things will never be the same.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Cheating isn't that big of a deal for a man but a woman's Cheating is treacherous because it shows she's lost interest in you.

exitseven · Answer

I used to flat out say NO. Now I think that people make mistakes and if they can feel remorse and understand how it effected me I Might give hew another chance.

Lynx--- · Answer

No. If they can do it once they'll do it again.

JacobJordan · Answer

Not a chance in hell. Once a cheater always a cheater. You don't cheat on accident. It isn't hard to not be a pos.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

Maybe if there were kids involved. Otherwise no.

dolemite58 · Answer

Nope if a girl cheats she’s outta my life forever

Pohjolan · Answer

Maybe if kids are involved but a woman will never be as attracted to a male forgiving her for cheating on him, as she can no longer respect him as much and knows that a higher quality man would have moved on.

sweetart1 · Answer

I have and now we are happily married. It was early on jn our marriage when we were quite immature.

ASmith43 · Answer

When I was younger I did. Now? Not a chance in HELL! Once that trust is broken it's over.

devilish-cutie · Answer

No, i would not.. cheating mening sex, oral or penetration, but if it was a kiss i might

sawno · Answer

If she can get my trust back and is genuinely worth it.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Probably not. She's already proven I can't trust her. I build my relationships on trust!

Juxtapose · Answer

Fuck no lol. They already showed me that they are more than willing to lie so why wouldn't they just do it again and take advantage of me?

systemsareyo · Answer

"oh hell no" as often said in American movies 😅😆🫤

MrShaun · Answer

I got caught one time. We were playing a board game and I broke the rules. Thought I was being sly. She's never let me forget.

Strong_Warrior · Answer

Women should allow men to bang other girls.

DarkLegacy · Answer

I never would no

LavLavLuv · Answer

Absolutely not ☺️

edmcuck · Answer

I would, yes. Definitely.

Paulychicagoluv · Answer

Absolutely not

EmmaMary · Answer

Hell would need to freeze over first.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

No there are loyal women out there.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

Never.

laly520 · Answer

no, never again, they dont change

Kelly6 · Answer

@lumea yes I would

Staximus · Answer

Hell no. So they can do it again?

Crankor · Answer

Nope.

Adogdog · Answer

Never

Notherndude84 · Answer

I have

Flatmanlewis · Answer

Nope.

Account · Answer

No. I am unable to.

Aegithalos · Answer

Never.

eagle1951 · Answer

Hell No

MysticDevice · Answer

Nope.

BrookeS · Answer

Probably not

collie22 · Answer

Nope

Anonymous · Answer

Never

Minahh · Answer

Lmao no

janjira · Answer

🥺🥺

Would you give a second chance to a lover who cheated on you?

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Would you give a second chance to a lover who cheated on you?

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