Do you care about your partner’s relationship history?

Question

Mr_twoface · Accepted Answer

Knowing about your partner's relationship history can be important to some extent, but it may not be necessary or relevant in every relationship or for every individual. For us, we allowed each other to be transparent to the degree we felt we wanted to share and we believed it may affect the relationship in the long run and if we had any questions, we asked each other. It turned though that we were OK with not getting into deep history of the past. I for instance had dozens of encounters mostly friends with benefits, whilst she had actual relationships.

We both had the same mindset that while it's valuable to learn from the past, a healthy relationship should primarily focus on the present and future. Dwelling excessively on past relationships or constantly comparing them to the current one can be detrimental.
We also are on the same page that people can change and grow over time. Just because someone had a troubled past relationship doesn't necessarily mean they will repeat the same patterns in their current one.

Whether it's important or not can depend on various factors, including personal preferences, the stage of the relationship, and individual circumstances.

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

Only as part of a bigger picture of getting to know them. Their past doesn't really matter to me. But when getting to know them, having big holes would feel like I don't really know them.

A person IS their past. The person they are today is the accumulation of everything in their past. If I like someone today, that means I have to accept their past. Because if not for that past, they would not be the person I like today. The two are inseparable.

Juneberry91 · Accepted Answer

It’s actually quite revealing, I find less yet long lasting relationships signals a person of competence. A person with a shockingly high amount of short fuse relationships reads to me they don’t know how to be in one especial when the going gets tough. Also they might be to quick to jump at desire & don’t realy think things through asking them selves questions as does this person fit in my life? I instantly turned down men that have more than five crazy exes, because that is not possible that just registers that this person has a lack of awareness of self & pursues, these types of people.

most of the men I have dated had only dated two girls & was not apart of hookup cultures and they lasted for many many years.

TenderFantasy · Accepted Answer

Yes, I care to a certain extent. I want to know why some of their relationships didn't work out just out of curiosity and if any children resulted from their union because then I might have to DEAL with that stuff because yeah, children follow you into the future lol. I also want to know what kind of people they were attracted to and WHY they went out with them/had a relationship with them. I basically want to know who I am dealing with here lol. Ever heard of: " you will be having sex with the people they've had sex with "? I think that is true essentially.

Hawkes_Lady · Answer

I don't care about a person's past relationships because I will not compare how this person acted in the past to how he is treating me and the people around him now in the present. People change all the time, we are all evolving constantly. Just because someone did something in the past, doesn't mean they are still doing it today.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I was the first girlfriend for my ex, he’s still an ex.

As long as I am his girlfriend in present, why’d I care who was his girlfriend in the past?

The better girlfriends he has had the better for me, it means he has a good taste.

Of course, I’d wish he’d not compare us though.

AviatorTom · Answer

Not really, but if she wants to tell me about it, I will gladly listen, and share my past with her... if she's wants to hear it.

CozyCoffin · Answer

Your past is part of you. People can grow and change in life but most don’t change very much. Someone that lied to their partners will continue to lie. Someone who was anxious and jealous will be anxious and jealous with you. Someone that had children and left others will do the same to you. I've seen several women do with the same guy that time and again left them as single mothers. The list goes on and on. A person’s past relationships are a valuable source of information about what you can expect.

HawkPerception · Answer

I do honestly. Body count does matter. I don't really care about if a girl had other partners that she's slept with if she's only been in relationships with the intention of them lasting. But being a party girl that spreads her legs for every "cute guy" she sees is a red flag to me. I'm not gonna be the guy that let's a girl "settle with me after she's had her wild fun". I also think that relationships are healthy when partners have close to the same amount of sexual history.

DreamCrescent · Answer

you should. i learned this the hard way. they revert to how they treated their past partner. if you tell yourself you’re a different person and this is a different relationship and you’re going to bring out the better person from your partner, you may be kidding yourself

everyone is different, so tiny room for a possibility if you choose to go that route

Miristheiss · Answer

When it came to picking a wife, someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and to have children with and to commit all my resources to and to have over at my parent's home for family gatherings, hell yes it mattered.

When you say relationship history I'm inferring you mean sexual history. I was never going to wife up one of these loose women that want their sleep around hoe phase and drunk girls nights before settling down.

sage2021 · Answer

I told my last boyfriend about both of my marriages and the details. Except they way he says it is that both husband's abandoned me. Which is wrong. The first one cheated on me and I divorced him. The second one was the biggest jerk I've ever known and I divorced h as well.
I used to get mad that he thought two guys dumped me. But that's not true. He probably told everyone his version instead of the truth. Grrr!

sawno · Answer

I'm very forgiving with history especially considering my last girlfriend was incredible but i'd have disliked her if I met her 2 years prior since she changed a lot before we met. But there are of course boundaries I will hold against her, such as STD's, extremely high amounts of people she slept with, onlyfans, etc.

molonski2 · Answer

If you don't , you certainly should as people will always return to their raw " roots " , that's a fact , loose the vison that you are somehow going to save somebody , their history is vital , just as when you go for a role your employment history is considered , its exactly the same thing.

wolfcat87 · Answer

I want to know if they treated other people well. It often warns of how you'll be treated. Also, were they committed, loyal, responsible, caring, kind, etc? Did they cherish or use and abuse? Are they over those people or am I sharing a heart and mind? I've had way too many exes message me while in a relationship with another girl because they missed me... 🙃 I have no plan to be in the shoes of those women.

RebelinSteel · Answer

Not really, also unless it’s very obvious because you knew of her, then unless you pull finger nails you do not know if she had 1 or 100 partners or anything else. If they tell you it was only 2, how do you prove they are telling the truth? It’s about the person, a virgin could be a nasty lying bitch as much as someone with numerous partners.

MiddleAgedClimbee · Answer

I haven't ever worried about my wife's past, nor anyone I dated before her. However, I do think it's logical to consider their past as you get to know them. You don't want to find yourself in a serious relationship with someone who has been abusive or otherwise a negative individual.

tzdc21 · Answer

YES. The biggest predictor of a person's future is their past. If they have a history of abusing their partner, if they've had a history of cheating, if they've had a history of sleeping around causally, if they have a history of doing drugs or excessive drinking, those are signs to get the hell away from them.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes.
Because I want to know why past relationships came to an end.
What happened? What made the relationship fail? Why didn't they work out?
Did he simply not find a good match, did she tear him down completely or did he treat her like shit?
I wouldn't say I care to the extend that I am worried about him having a long history, more so that I'd want to take that history as a lesson and see how we could do better to be compatible.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

There's valid reasons to care about their past.. But personally, I probably don't especially if they were some time back.. Their character now matters more honestly than how they were in the past.. And I could also find out how they did their past partners l, by how they talk about them or if they talk about.. That also shows big character.

JacobJordan · Answer

One's past is a sign of how their future will be. If they have numerous failed relationships guess what the future holds. If they were an abuser in past relationships guess what the future holds. If they cheated in the past guess what the future holds. The fact people think any of this doesn't matter is evidence enough that the vast majority of people are not ready for a relationship at all let alone a healthy one

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Yes. Her relations and relationships are important to know. Her blood relations tells you about the tree she came from and her relationship says all you need to know about her choices and what’s she is gonna bring.
Now there are times where a woman’s history doesn’t matter at all, like the women who are conservative, kind, and have good relationships with her family. However if she’s always in the club or bar scene, better keep that in mind. She ain’t always going back for fun in the club

Nice222 · Answer

When I met my wife I was more interested in her future than her past. Both of us had histories of dating other people and that how we knew what we wanted in a partner. I think the fact that we dated others first allows us to appreciate each other more.

wiltingrosepetal · Answer

I think you'd be crazy to say no. History repeats itself, what made their last relationship fail could definitely happen again. Especially if it was related to cheating..

mandyfire98 · Answer

Not at all. As long as it legal and above board. I don't care about body count. They're gonna be tested anyway.

kinkynicci · Answer

No and I expect he doesn't care about mine either unless he just wants to hear the stories of things I've done

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

Everyone has hangups. It helps to know where she got those scars. Leads to being able to establish boundaries better.

Account · Answer

I would preferably like it similar to mine and I would preferably they operate in the same wavelength I do when it comes to relationships.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Only if I have to worry about putting some rounds through my door because one of them shows up at my door and acts a fool.

Nikki1989 · Answer

We don't care at all. In the 8+ plus years we have been together, it has never been discussed.

exitseven · Answer

If she has a long history of one night stands, cheating and lying I would consider it a sigh that she cannot be trusted.

Todd9612 · Answer

Yes, I didn’t want to marry someone who slept around, I didn’t so I expected the same. didn’t matter because years later I found out she lied about it.

LadyKitty · Answer

No. Its their past not mine. If they want to tell me its up to them.

hahahmm · Answer

I married a woman who wasn't sleeping around, making porn & such so it's not an issue.

Anonymous · Answer

Well duhh. Male or female, if they’re very attractive, we’re very promiscuous, have a past of cheating. Chances are they’ll cheat on you 😂

Anonymous · Answer

Of course if you looking for a wife/husband you want to know why s/he is not already married.  If your looking for a short term relationships it doesn't matter.

aceleon · Answer

yes, if there is history, there is no Ace either.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Yes, I don't like a guy with lots of history.

FreyaRed · Answer

Of course. The past always gives hints for the future.

Talea · Answer

Only in a general sense, like how many relationships he's been in. I don't need specifics of how many girls he's slept with etc

Sparkie460 · Answer

I don't really care about the past. There's a reason why the windshield is so much bigger than the rear view mirror

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes of course she could be a sex fanatic and been with over 100 guys and gangbang and all that crazy stuff absolutely

jarkitor20 · Answer

Wanted to say no but have to be honest it does matter to me depending on how long it is

Anonymous · Answer

Right now in my life yes, I don't have much and I don't think someone with a large history will like me or be compatible. I have tried but they usually think men with less experience are losers.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course. Anyone who doesn't care about their partner's history doesn't care about their partner.

KillinItHard · Answer

Nope, and body count doesn't matter at all either.

nudeNhorny · Answer

If you mean care like making big deal of it, then no, but I would like to know out of curiosity.

whistlingwh0res · Answer

American women are whore and American men are pimps

justabuddy · Answer

Probably not a good thing if they are hiding stuff.

laly520 · Answer

whats in past stays in the past doesn't concern

Berethor · Answer

Yea, I don't want to be with a ho.

Slapmynuts · Answer

The past is the past! 😁

DreamLife7 · Answer

Only insecure people like u do

najekim · Answer

Nope. Their business, not mine.

rebeliouse · Answer

more guys she's slept with the better

IloveWinters · Answer

Ehhh it doesn't matter much honestly

Minahh · Answer

You bet I do

12karen · Answer

A bit 🤫

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Yes.

jahaims · Answer

Duh.

Anonymous · Answer

Yep.

Do you care about your partner’s relationship history?

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Do you care about your partner’s relationship history?

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