Do you care about your partner’s relationship history?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

[Mr_twoface]

Knowing about your partner's relationship history can be important to some extent, but it may not be necessary or relevant in every relationship or for every individual. For us, we allowed each other to be transparent to the degree we felt we wanted to share and we believed it may affect the relationship in the long run and if we had any questions, we asked each other. It turned though that we were OK with not getting into deep history of the past. I for instance had dozens of encounters mostly friends with benefits, whilst she had actual relationships.

We both had the same mindset that while it's valuable to learn from the past, a healthy relationship should primarily focus on the present and future. Dwelling excessively on past relationships or constantly comparing them to the current one can be detrimental.
We also are on the same page that people can change and grow over time. Just because someone had a troubled past relationship doesn't necessarily mean they will repeat the same patterns in their current one.

Whether it's important or not can depend on various factors, including personal preferences, the stage of the relationship, and individual circumstances.

[WindAtMyBack]

Only as part of a bigger picture of getting to know them. Their past doesn't really matter to me. But when getting to know them, having big holes would feel like I don't really know them.

A person IS their past. The person they are today is the accumulation of everything in their past. If I like someone today, that means I have to accept their past. Because if not for that past, they would not be the person I like today. The two are inseparable.

[Juneberry91]

It’s actually quite revealing, I find less yet long lasting relationships signals a person of competence. A person with a shockingly high amount of short fuse relationships reads to me they don’t know how to be in one especial when the going gets tough. Also they might be to quick to jump at desire & don’t realy think things through asking them selves questions as does this person fit in my life? I instantly turned down men that have more than five crazy exes, because that is not possible that just registers that this person has a lack of awareness of self & pursues, these types of people.

most of the men I have dated had only dated two girls & was not apart of hookup cultures and they lasted for many many years.

[TenderFantasy]

Yes, I care to a certain extent. I want to know why some of their relationships didn't work out just out of curiosity and if any children resulted from their union because then I might have to DEAL with that stuff because yeah, children follow you into the future lol. I also want to know what kind of people they were attracted to and WHY they went out with them/had a relationship with them. I basically want to know who I am dealing with here lol. Ever heard of: "you will be having sex with the people they've had sex with"? I think that is true essentially.

[Light_beam]

would tell him the same without lying? especially about your body count?

[Light_beam]

you*

[TenderFantasy]

@Light_beam yup. Nothing to hide. If he can't accept my past then tough. Not like I can change it anymore than he can.

[Light_beam]

How many? Your count?

[Hawkes_Lady]

I don't care about a person's past relationships because I will not compare how this person acted in the past to how he is treating me and the people around him now in the present. People change all the time, we are all evolving constantly. Just because someone did something in the past, doesn't mean they are still doing it today.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I was the first girlfriend for my ex, he’s still an ex.

As long as I am his girlfriend in present, why’d I care who was his girlfriend in the past?

The better girlfriends he has had the better for me, it means he has a good taste.

Of course, I’d wish he’d not compare us though.

[AviatorTom]

Not really, but if she wants to tell me about it, I will gladly listen, and share my past with her... if she's wants to hear it.

[CozyCoffin]

Your past is part of you. People can grow and change in life but most don’t change very much. Someone that lied to their partners will continue to lie. Someone who was anxious and jealous will be anxious and jealous with you. Someone that had children and left others will do the same to you. I've seen several women do with the same guy that time and again left them as single mothers. The list goes on and on. A person’s past relationships are a valuable source of information about what you can expect.

[DreamCrescent]

you should. i learned this the hard way. they revert to how they treated their past partner. if you tell yourself you’re a different person and this is a different relationship and you’re going to bring out the better person from your partner, you may be kidding yourself




everyone is different, so tiny room for a possibility if you choose to go that route

[nawtee_me]

@DreamCrescent we can not change other people. Only they can change themselves if they choose to.

[HawkPerception]

I do honestly. Body count does matter. I don't really care about if a girl had other partners that she's slept with if she's only been in relationships with the intention of them lasting. But being a party girl that spreads her legs for every "cute guy" she sees is a red flag to me. I'm not gonna be the guy that let's a girl "settle with me after she's had her wild fun". I also think that relationships are healthy when partners have close to the same amount of sexual history.

[Miristheiss]

When it came to picking a wife, someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and to have children with and to commit all my resources to and to have over at my parent's home for family gatherings, hell yes it mattered.

When you say relationship history I'm inferring you mean sexual history. I was never going to wife up one of these loose women that want their sleep around hoe phase and drunk girls nights before settling down.

[sage2021]

I told my last boyfriend about both of my marriages and the details. Except they way he says it is that both husband's abandoned me. Which is wrong. The first one cheated on me and I divorced him. The second one was the biggest jerk I've ever known and I divorced h as well.
I used to get mad that he thought two guys dumped me. But that's not true. He probably told everyone his version instead of the truth. Grrr!

[sawno]

I'm very forgiving with history especially considering my last girlfriend was incredible but i'd have disliked her if I met her 2 years prior since she changed a lot before we met. But there are of course boundaries I will hold against her, such as STD's, extremely high amounts of people she slept with, onlyfans, etc.

[molonski2]

If you don't , you certainly should as people will always return to their raw " roots " , that's a fact , loose the vison that you are somehow going to save somebody , their history is vital , just as when you go for a role your employment history is considered , its exactly the same thing.

[wolfcat87]

I want to know if they treated other people well. It often warns of how you'll be treated. Also, were they committed, loyal, responsible, caring, kind, etc? Did they cherish or use and abuse? Are they over those people or am I sharing a heart and mind? I've had way too many exes message me while in a relationship with another girl because they missed me... 🙃 I have no plan to be in the shoes of those women.

[TenderFantasy]

The thing is, how do you know, trust and believe that what they are telling you about said ex/exes were/are true? Ugh 😛 lol..

[wolfcat87]

@TenderFantasy Take everything with a grain of salt, read between the lines, and ask questions. People do tend to gloss over bad parts, you may have to dig a little if they don't volunteer them.

[RebelinSteel]

Not really, also unless it’s very obvious because you knew of her, then unless you pull finger nails you do not know if she had 1 or 100 partners or anything else. If they tell you it was only 2, how do you prove they are telling the truth? It’s about the person, a virgin could be a nasty lying bitch as much as someone with numerous partners.

[JacobJordan]

Actually really simple for most women. The more partners they have they less clothes they wear. For guys they tend to be more of arrogant asshole the more they have. Both genders wear their pasts literally. Women in clothing. Men in attitude. Not to mention for women the number of signs that make it obvious she isn't worth a relationship include heavy make up, fake nails, eyelashes, eyebrows, skimpy outfits, parties, drinks, drugs, smokes etc. Not counting the exceptions the vast majority of women with the above are not worth relationships and their relationships have a high rate of failure leading to them loudly proclaiming "all men suck, where are the good men" not understanding that us good men... married years prior even a decade or more prior in some cases

[RebelinSteel]

@JacobJordan lmao, yeah sure you keeping taking those meds. I’m sure they will let you out next weekend if you behave.

[JacobJordan]

Hilarious mate. Humans exhibit many of the same behaviors why do you think psychologists can assign specific traits to specific types of people. Just cause you are too stupid to figure it out doesn't mean everyone else is. Vast majority of people can look at other people and have a fairly solid idea of who that person is. Hell the whole reason men approach certain women is because they give off qualities and traits men want. And those things come down to how they dress, talk, act, make up they wear etc. If you really trying to say you can't figure out which girls or guys been sleeping around then you are just not smart.

[RebelinSteel]

@JacobJordan first of I assume you are a spam? Which is one of those problems you have in life, so will make allowances. Globally you know outside your state, people dress quite differently, also up and down the ages people dress differently. This means a how someone dresses in one country (that’s outside your state again) is different. Then you have fashions, some linked to music, sports, etc. I never realised shallow people existed that went purely on how a person was dressed, okay let’s assume that’s correct, what’s your go to clothing? I always wondered what shouted arsehole

[tzdc21]

YES. The biggest predictor of a person's future is their past. If they have a history of abusing their partner, if they've had a history of cheating, if they've had a history of sleeping around causally, if they have a history of doing drugs or excessive drinking, those are signs to get the hell away from them.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

I haven't ever worried about my wife's past, nor anyone I dated before her. However, I do think it's logical to consider their past as you get to know them. You don't want to find yourself in a serious relationship with someone who has been abusive or otherwise a negative individual.

[Anonymous]

Yes.
Because I want to know why past relationships came to an end.
What happened? What made the relationship fail? Why didn't they work out?
Did he simply not find a good match, did she tear him down completely or did he treat her like shit?
I wouldn't say I care to the extend that I am worried about him having a long history, more so that I'd want to take that history as a lesson and see how we could do better to be compatible.

[JacobJordan]

One's past is a sign of how their future will be. If they have numerous failed relationships guess what the future holds. If they were an abuser in past relationships guess what the future holds. If they cheated in the past guess what the future holds. The fact people think any of this doesn't matter is evidence enough that the vast majority of people are not ready for a relationship at all let alone a healthy one

[Joshydavid25]

There's valid reasons to care about their past.. But personally, I probably don't especially if they were some time back.. Their character now matters more honestly than how they were in the past.. And I could also find out how they did their past partners l, by how they talk about them or if they talk about.. That also shows big character.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Yes. Her relations and relationships are important to know. Her blood relations tells you about the tree she came from and her relationship says all you need to know about her choices and what’s she is gonna bring.
Now there are times where a woman’s history doesn’t matter at all, like the women who are conservative, kind, and have good relationships with her family. However if she’s always in the club or bar scene, better keep that in mind. She ain’t always going back for fun in the club

[Nice222]

When I met my wife I was more interested in her future than her past. Both of us had histories of dating other people and that how we knew what we wanted in a partner. I think the fact that we dated others first allows us to appreciate each other more.

[wiltingrosepetal]

I think you'd be crazy to say no. History repeats itself, what made their last relationship fail could definitely happen again. Especially if it was related to cheating..