My girlfriend (25 years now) has gained over 50 pounds in our relationship. Am I a bad guy if I don't feel attracted to her anymore?

[Anonymous]

She was skinny before (5'8''), 125 lbs

Now she is around 180 lbs and stopped working out, got lazy.

What do you think?

break up

stay with her

break up if she doesn't lose weight in the next months

[Oliverlogan263]

That's a tough situation man. First of all, don't beat yourself up about not being attracted to her anymore - you can't really control what you're attracted to. However, you definitely don't want to just stop being caring and supportive of her. A few thoughts:

- Her health is the #1 concern. 50+ pounds is a lot and could impact her well-being long term. Comes from a place of caring to discuss this gently.

- Has something changed mentally/emotionally for her? Stress, depression etc. can cause overeating habits. Try understanding the root cause.

- Suggest doing active things together to get her moving regularly again. Hiking, sports, yoga - make it about spending quality time.

- Compliment the things you still find attractive - her smile, personality. But also encourage getting back to a healthier lifestyle.

- Consider talking to a doctor or nutritionist together. A pro can help motivate safe weight loss goals.

The main thing is approach it from a place of love and partnership, not blame. If she remains unwilling to try over time, you may need to have a tough conversation about the future. But for now focus on supporting her health in a kind way. Open communication is key here. Hope this helps - let me know if any other advice!

[slatyb]

Just break up. I believe partners have an obligation to try to remain attractive to each other. It's sad but that's life. She's not entitled to your affection for life.

[Anonymous]

You can look good at 180, is her stomach bigger and does she have a double chin now or something? Most of the girls I’ve seen at 180 don’t look fat

[Asker]

she has a double chin yes. and her belly sticks out. there is a lot to grab. her doctor said she has a bit high blood pressure.

[Opinion Owner]

Start exercising around her and suggest for her to workout with you? Yes unfortunately a lot of women and men let themselves go in the weight area.

[Asker]

yeah, I doing exercises regularly. she says she doesn't have the energy to join...

[Nikki1989]

She should dump your pathetic ass. She deserves better.

[Danielle93]

Actually it's bad for her health. She has high blood pressure.
What would you do if someone you care and love is has really gained a lot of weight (50 Ibs is a lot) and is having health issues because of that?

[Danielle93]

Or if you see someone you care/love, eating junk food, destroying their health and becoming lazy? Wouldn't you worry for them and say something or just say ''Don't worry, continue gaining weight, someone that has a problem with it can take a hike''?