Am I overthinking?

[Anonymous]

One of the reasons I fell in love with my boyfriend is that he was so attentive, caring and protective with me. He made me feel special. He has a very good heart. But when we started hanging out with his friends and their girlfriends I had the impression that he is giving them the same attention as me. Often times, when he was talking to them, he didn‘t really look at me or include me in the conversation. I didn‘t feel as special anymore. It‘s different when it‘s just us two, though. Should I bring this up or is this something I should deal with myself? I really don‘t want to sound too insecure or something like that so I think I should keep it to myself but it is making me sad.

Thank you so much for helping me. 🤍

[Surely]

I would say that you are experiencing being the odd person when he is with his friends. He has known them for X number of years and knows things about their likes, dislikes and had a history with them.
As for you. Probably a little shy. You sometimes have to entertain yourself in those situations because you don’t know enough to participate in the conversation.
You have to imagine that when you are with some of your longtime friends. He probably doesn’t have much to add to the conversation and maybe feels left out. Just the same thing that you experience with his friends.

[Asker]

yes that is true. thank you! but I am specifically talking about how he talks to their girlfriends who he doesn‘t have a long or deep connection with. Should I talk to him or rather deal with it by myself?

[Surely]

I think that you need to cut him some slack. If you don’t like him talking to these girls in front of you. When will you start to wonder what he does when you are not around? Some people can start a conversation with anyone. Others will sit by and be a church mouse.
My wife says that I can talk to anyone. Even if we just met. She is unable to do so.
You need to try and get into the conversation.

[Avicenna]

Keeping this concern to yourself is a very bad idea because it's not merely going to go away if you keep quiet about it. Think about what you'd like him to do differently and give him options.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't characterize it as overthinking. What you're doing is allowing your insecurities to mess with your mind.

I would strongly suggest you recognize your emotions for what they are and get them under control, or you risk messing up your relationship with someone who soaunds like a good man. If you talk to him about it, you will come off as insecure, needy and controlling. Nothing good will come of that.

[Asker]

thank you for your advice!

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. And best of luck to you.

[laly520]

seems like overthinking to me

[boobliker]

yes! we tend to over think mose things