Do you think it's good or bad to encourage a romantic partner to work on getting slimmer if he/she is looking a bit chubbier than usual?

Question

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

If it’s just a little bit chubbier then you are best not to say anything , because most people take those comments as an insult , but if they gained a shit ton of weight? then it’s ok to let them know you are concerned. Weight is sadly a touchy subject for a lot of people , think about how you would feel if your partner told you that you need to lose some weight , if you only gained like 10 pounds , you more than likely will take it as an insult and think to yourself , why is my partner pointing out my little bit of weight gain? The thing with weight is most people fluctuate with weight , it’s how our bodies function, so 10 pounds difference is nothing compared to a 50 pound difference, so if my partner gained 10 pounds , wouldn’t say a word to her , if she gained 50 to 100 pounds then I would be concerned and ask her to cut down on her eating habits and tell her The truth that she is letting herself go , if she looked that much different then before to me. All an all when you love someone , you should love that person for who they are , not what you think they should look like. Unless they look nothing like they did before , then it’s ok to voice your concern , I use to be a work out dieting freak until I realized it isn’t who I really am as a person , I still enjoy working out and maintaining myself but I no longer make it my priority to do so , if someone can’t accept me for who I am , because a gained some pounds then I don’t want anything to do with that person period. , if a girl is only after me
For my looks than she is in for a rude awakening because that relationship is pretty much a waste of time , so if she cheated on me or dumped me because I gained 10 pounds , the other guy can have her , because I want a girl that loves me for my heart , now if I gained 50 or 60 pounds I would know within myself that I need to drop some pounds , the bottom line people that only date people based off of looks , are in for a rude awakening , because nobody looks beautiful on the outside forever , what’s inside your heart does.

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

Yes but you need to be tactful about it.

The wrong way to do it: “whoa it looks like you are gaining weight. Your ass is getting bigger. You are getting a belly. You need to start working out and staying away from the sweets.”

The right way to do it: “hey babe I want to get in a consistent work out routine. How about we start hitting up the gym together at least 3 days a week and going for hikes/runs the other 3 days? I also would like to cook us some healthier meals.”

PBandJ_Nerd · Accepted Answer

It's not bad at all. You just have to be careful how you go about saying it though, as weight is a very sensitive subject for lots of people. It's better to suggest things like "Hey let's go on a walk this evening," "Let's go to the gym tonight," "Let's eat healthier dinners and snacks," "Let's try a new diet together." and so on. Don't look at them and go "You're getting too fat! You need to stop eating all that ice cream & chips! And start going to the gym while you're at it!" Your partner is going to appreciate you less saying comments like this. Plus, it comes off as really aggressive & bitchy (not what you want). I'm personally all for encouraging partners to be healthier. I wouldn't be offended if my future partner thought I needed some more muscle or was getting a bit overweight. It shows that they care about my wellbeing, besides just loving me. So as long as they aren't trying to enable over/underweight behaviors.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Why would it be bad. It’s health related. Plus you’d want them to be more fit to perform better in bed too. Both male / female.

Im getting fit to please him aesthetically , meaning with my looks I make him look like a quality man.
And in bed I can do all sorts of things.
Not there yet, but getting there 💪

Apple1996 · Answer

Definitely a bad thing. People know when they gain weight and need to work out. Nobody needs to tell them. Spouse, family, friends, strangers and just everyone in general should keep their mouths shut about other people's weight.

HawkPerception · Answer

Obesity is on the rise nowadays and it's TRIPLED in adults since 1975. It's because of lifestyle changes and everything becoming online and office work and it's also due to the fact that we live in such a a snowflake generation, people aren't allowed to call others far anymore. And now there's even the body positivity movement. It's a sad state society.

I personally make sure anyone I date knows from the get-go that I'm not going to be with someone that stops taking care of their fitness and overall health out of laziness. I live an active lifestyle and try to stay fit myself. I appreciate it if my partner told me I'm getting a bit of a belly and I'd try my best to workout until it's gone. I don't understand why women get so offended with it. They just expect you to love them for them and call you shallow if you care about their body's appearance. But in reality, part of what a guy falls in love with is your desire to take care of your body's fitness and appearance.

And I'm sick of the argument "Sometimes you have a health condition that prevents you from losing weight." I've never seen anyone that's dying from starvation being fat. And you know how you correct your metabolism? By working out and eating foods that help your thyroid function. The main thing I care about is effort. To be honest, I wouldn't leave a girl if she was fat. I'd leave her if I saw her putting in zero effort in trying to lose weight.

My answer is I think it's a good thing to encourage a romantic partner to lose weight. Girls can call me shallow or whatever.

mattthefatbat · Answer

I don't think there's anything wrong with it just as long as nothing is going into extremes. If my partner wanted me to lose some weight at first I'd ask why if she said something like im worried about your health and heart and i'd help you lose the weight, then I'd agree with her because she's just looking out for me and is willing to be in my support, and wants what's best and isn't being well bitchy about it. If she said something like bro you look fat as fuck and it's unnattractive id much rather be with a man that at least can take care of his body better than that because im not gonna stay with some boy that wants to be fat.. then I'd just say okay.
But the thing is there's no denying someone's physical health, but the least a partner can do especially if you love them, is at least show that you're there for them in their support and want whats best for anything they are going through.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

It's not a bad idea, but I heard a really great comment from Whitney Cummings on this subject; positive reinforcement will always work 100x better than negative. If you hate when your boyfriend wears one type of shoes, don't tell him to not wear those shoes; tell him how good he looks when he wears the other type of shoes you actually like.

If you want your partner to workout more, offer to go to the gym together, tell him how hot he looks working out, and then surprise him with an (after shower) blow job in the car.

Don't tell him that he's looking fat (unless it's gotten BAD). He knows he's gotten pudgy. You making him feel bad about it isn't going to cause the change you want to happen as quickly as him linking sex with working out.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

Gaining weight can be a sign of some illnesses, like diabetes, thyroid problems, and hormone problems. So I think I would first communicate I can see that something is happening and asked if we can consult a physician.

And if he is healthy, then we can think of what else to do with it. Maybe some changes in the diet? Some sports we can do together?

AaronKrieger · Answer

It is bad, unless you have that type of relationship where you can take things objectively such as this touchy subject.

Someone gaining a little bit of weight is normal nor bad, so I do not see the point of making your partner potentially self-conscious when it is so mild of a matter.

2_beHappy · Answer

Depends on whether they are already healthy or not. Some people are healthy but can be chubby at the same time, and others need to be slimmer to be ideal and healthy. It all depends on their genetics, type of body etc. I for example , am in perfect health , but my parents Say that I am  too  slim (I am in fact slim and fit, not  extremely slim, as my parents see me )

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Answer

Good if the focus is more on health than superficiality, but my wife and I have tactful approaches to encourage each other, like suggesting we go out together for a jog, select a healthier choice for our dinner, etc. We look after each other's health that way by suggesting things to do together.

HighValue · Answer

The partner wanting them to get in better shape should be willing to exercise or do physical activities with them.

There is nothing wrong with bringing the subject up. In my opinion, people should be expected to stay generally in the same shape as when they began a relationship unless they both agree they are both going to let themselves go. It isn't fair for one partner to stay fit and the other let themselves go.

Anastacia1989 · Answer

It’s rude to make comments on a person weight or body shape in general just as it’s rude to tell someone how to dress of you invite them out somewhere….. secondly it’s better to be healthy and have a few extra pounds rather than get sick….

Now if it was severed weight gain I would talk to them in private and explain my reasoning and offer to take them to a nutritionist or doctor to see what they can do

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Some of them are too sensitive enough to jump to the conclusion that their partners no longer find 'em attractive anymore.

They don't see that their partners care enough about the health of the other.

molonski2 · Answer

Obviously extremely good to encourage , with exercise and diet.. Health is no 1 , and everyone needs to be the correct weight , its not diet , its a complete lifestyle.

RandomUser1000 · Answer

Depends If it comes across as complaining and a lot of negativity, then bad. If it comes across as positive/constructive and they get encouraged to improve themself, then good

jshm2 · Answer

Bad, As long as you don't mind them hitting back with you doing the same, or making more an effort on your looks, etc.  Don't dish if you can't take it.

Loki97 · Answer

Personally I’ve been with women as skinny as a stick and bigger than I could carry, in the end I realized I can’t be satisfied by a bigger woman. Sadly bigger women are more freaky in bed than smaller women however not worth it.

b_lova · Answer

Since you are pointing out something that most people are insecure about you have to know if their personality can handle the encouragement.

Olivier-628 · Answer

Good, it's always good to help keep each other fit and healthy. both physically and mentally. No matter the context.

Bricealan · Answer

If she were TRYING to lose weight, I would encourage her and help, but not unless she was trying.

Zestyassmf1997 · Answer

People who take that type of thing personally are immature. We both have expectations of each other that have to be met, and sometimes that may involve policing each other.

Lynx122 · Answer

It's a good thing. Working out together could be fun too.

deus_ex_sisyphus · Answer

making it about weight and making it about health carry two different connotations. Overall though, its a good thing to encourage healthy behaviors.

Minahh · Answer

First of all they should want it themselves if you don't like them the way they are get out of their life (not talking about if it seriously impacts their health)

Anonymous · Answer

Has to be a joint effort and maybe you take over cooking or shopping for food. Lead by example, otherwise you’ll look like a jerk.

Pohjolan · Answer

Should encourage them to eat healthier and workout to be healthier and to age better. The slim part is just a byproduct.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Good. Hey baby that gut is looking a little out of shape. "Alright but that's going to make my ass smaller too" Dammit nevermind.

Anonymous · Answer

To lose weight most of the time you'll need to change your diet not workout more. Although exercise is extremely important and should be encouraged.

admles · Answer

It's a good intention, but you have to be very careful how you approach it.

Anonymous · Answer

Clearly good. Being a fat fuck is terrible for your health.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

It’s good to hold them accountable

Charliefretz329 · Answer

Health consciousness is good

Do you think it's good or bad to encourage a romantic partner to work on getting slimmer if he/she is looking a bit chubbier than usual?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Is it rude, as a fat gal, to suggest that your girlfriend should watch her weight more since she's been getting out of shape?

Do you think it's good or bad to encourage a romantic partner to work on getting slimmer if he/she is looking a bit chubbier than usual?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Is it rude, as a fat gal, to suggest that your girlfriend should watch her weight more since she's been getting out of shape?

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