Why would anyone want a long-distance relationship but have no plans on ever relocating?

Question

Ok so I was chatting with some Australian man. He was sounded excited about starting a long-distance relationship, about how distance don't matter if there is true love and trying to fill me with too much BS. Then he asked for my opinion.

I asked several questions such as:

''So what are your goals, besides feelings, what do you look forward in a partner''?

''How long are we going to stay in that ''girlfriend and boyfriend long-distance relationship''?

''Do you realize one of us have to travel and move in'' or otherwise it's a fantasy?

He has no plans on ever relocating nor leaving his family (meaning I would), gave me a vague ''oh not so long'' answer on the 2nd question and kept trying to BS on love, trust and ''the moon and the stars'' talk. So what's the point?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

LDRs do not work and are just a way to get a dopamine hit (from the attention) for a while. But everyone should only be dating LOCALLY, because the whole point of a relationship is to share your lives together, IN PERSON.

Today, everyone is trying to "shop above their market", and taking their searches from local to global allows them to believe this is realistic, except for the fact that LDRs are largely a lie and nearly never work.

For those who MUST use apps to find people online, they really need to limit their distance to 10 miles, maybe 15 at the most. You are trying to meet someone you can be in a relationship with, right? They need to be reasonably close to you. Yes, this will limit your options - deal with it. It will help you recalibrate your standards to a more reasonable level.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Long distance relationships are hard , for it to actually work , both people have to be on the same page with things or it won’t work at all , For any relationship to work , you both have to choose each other , if one of you can’t , then it’s best to go your separate ways or it’s just a waste of time

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Some people get into long distance "relationships" because they can tell everyone that they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, but the expectations are very low and they don't need to actually perform like a real boyfriend/girlfriend. It helps them construct a fantasy work that shelters them from the realization that they are actually a failure IRL.

Paris13 · Answer

He Expects You To Or No Go. Been In a Few LDR, One I Had Married in Egypt and Lived There... One was From The UK and He was Not Okay On Coming Here, dear. Your Call. xxoo

Avicenna · Answer

Probably assume you will relocate

imtiaz45 · Answer

People may choose long-distance relationships for various reasons, such as career commitments, personal goals, or unique circumstances. Despite not planning to relocate, they may value emotional connection, shared experiences, and genuine connection with a partner. Technology facilitates communication, making it easier to maintain intimacy even when physically apart. Some individuals prioritize independence and career fulfillment but still desire a committed relationship. Open communication about long-term goals is crucial to ensure both partners understand and accept the situation. Additionally, some may believe that distance challenges can strengthen their relationship, fostering trust, patience, and resilience. While physical proximity is absent, emotional closeness and commitment can sustain a meaningful connection, offering fulfillment and companionship. However, the success of such relationships often relies on strong communication, trust, and a shared understanding of the arrangement.

JacobJordan · Answer

If you are American you can relocate to him. Very few people would be willing to relocate to the US anymore. I am currently in Europe and the number of people I have talked to who upon finding out I am American ask stuff like "are people actually so mentally challenged they think they are a different gender?" Or "are people so dumb they think they can force everyone to use their pronouns" or "are pronouns actually a thing that has to be a joke right" or "are women in the states seriously trying to say they don't have equal rights" etc is growing. The United States is becoming a joke to the rest of the world because of the level of idiocy going on. People are genuinely shocked to find out how stupid America has become. Now if you aren't American still begs the question why don't you relocate to him?

sawno · Answer

I don't get that either, in my last LDR it was very obvious the long term plan would be that I'd love to the US. We joked about being unsure who moved where all the time, and if she had to she'd move to my country. But my country as much as I meme'd to her how fantastic it is would never have been as good of an option with the housing shortage and language barrier, while in her country I'd fit right in.

LDR's typically last until the plans of relocating in time fail, mine was no exception to that unfortunately.

Drew-1990 · Answer

There is nothing wrong with your questions and there is nothing wrong with him saying he is not relocating. That has to be established up front though before you get into a long distance relationship. I'm not looking for a long distance but I would and I would not relocate myself she would have to locate to me one day. I almost started one once but we chatted about this right off the bat and realized neither of us were willing to relocate so it ended quickly and on a good note too. Never had a long distance relationship but I know they are hard so you got to get these things worked out right away so you both know what to expect.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Well all mine, I can't ever imagine living where they were they didn't even like it there themselves.
And they knew my country was vastly better so for me to be the one relocating was never really in any question in my LDRs.
Then aside from that, my life only works as it does right now thanks to government support so it would be impossible for me anyway.

I would 100% relocate for love if I could. But one can't and logically it would be the worst way round.
Saying family as a excuse though if you also have a family is a bad reasoning. Now if you don't have a family then yeah it could stand as a reason as you've got less to leave I suppose.

SphynxUK · Answer

There is no point. There’s also no substitute for meeting and seeing what the vibe is. You can never know a person until you spend time in their company.
In this situation you at least need to arrange a visit. And talk about the future. If there aren’t clear goals, or commitment to making them, what’s the point?

molonski2 · Answer

He is an Aussie ! ..

No idea where you are from , he thinks you want to go there , question is light on detail.

Countries? Ages? .. Sure he is single? What state of Australia? ( It matters a LOT )

marital status previous? Work?

Many issues , to consider.

Account · Answer

The point is fighting boredom and feeling less lonely, till another woman who lives near them comes along in the picture.  Sorry if I am being harsh, but sometimes I am unable to filter myself.

serious_miss419 · Answer

Trust your intuition.  Women are good at instincts.  Obviously he’s negative and boring.  🥱

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

My brain can't wrap around any LDR type of situation. The only reason I bother with women is that I want their labia minora wrapped around my shwing shwang. I can't do that from long distance.

I also need to get what I really want very often... only on visits isn't going to work for me. I'd be oozing love juice all over my leg just trying to walk down the street. Fat chicks would start to look good to me.

You know it's bad when fat chicks start looking good.

RingOfFire · Answer

Long distance relationships are good for people who have a fear of commitment and no intention to commit. Gives them a sense of having someone but not close enough to cause them to panic. In their mind they are "close," and feel "loved," but of course it is a fantasy of love since you cannot really love someone you have never even met and spent time with in person. You only love the FANTASY of someone.

rosemilk · Answer

sounds like he likes the idea of love but not actually moving on from that stage and being in real life. could also be desperate to talk to anyone. i'd just move on from him and find someone closer.

Likes2drive · Answer

Not much point except fantasy, I really don’t do long distance because of that reason, someone has to relocate and I’m not moving to another country, maybe another state but not another country so it’s usually a waste of time and getting someone’s hopes up if no one is going to move

ProbablyClueless · Answer

It's an avoidant emotional attachment style. The person doesn't know how to form strong connections with people, so they prefer romantic arrangements where they can feel a sense of emotional intimacy without giving too much of themselves.

Somoneelse · Answer

LDR is quite hard, especially if one of the two doesn't want to make compromises or relocate. As well with trust issues, cheating etc. Thats why most LDR's doesn't work out.

DreamLife7 · Answer

He doesn't like you. Men are not complicated you're just stupid. He's using you as conversation when he's bored until he meets his dream girl. You're not his dream girl.

Biancam13 · Answer

He sounds like a love-bomber. I would be very wary of him and tread carefully.

Why would anyone want a long-distance relationship but have no plans on ever relocating?

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