How do you know it's going to get better in the relationship and it's just a phase his going through?

[Anonymous]

[lightbulb27]

you don't, you know the effort you put in to making it work and working on yourself and their level of commitment to do the same. you work to seek the root issues and common ground. Anything else is duct tape on a seeping dam.

the changes occur when at least one person decides to inspect themselves and listen to the other.

here's one slight problem... nobody really wants to change... and people have personality + emotional trauma via conditioning.

you can do it!

[Asker]

Thank you

[Sameone]

Time 🕐⏳ you have to give him more time because a lot of man's they don't tell they problems they keept for his self
Maximum one month but don't leave him alone you have to support him

[Asker]

Support him how?

[Sameone]

Try to talk to him
Show him that you are with him in his most difficult deaths and that you will not even abandon him...

Because later is going to remember what you did for him and is not going to hate you is going to love you more and more my dear

I hope you instead me

[Asker]

But what if I'm just waiting around for a man that doesn't love me anymore? Trying for nothing? How do I know that he wants the time and support

[Sameone]

Go to him and tell him tell him i love you tell him what is the problem.
and see what is going to say if he was interested about you is going to tell maybe kiss maybe cry between your arms
If he didn't accept you my dear tell him if i go now is goin to be last time see me

If he tell you don't go he stell won't you if he say nothing

Forgot about him and try to find someone else in your life. The world is not going to stop for you so move on
Because you are going to hert your self

If you need anything just ask me i have a lot of experience in this shit

[Asker]

Thank you

[Asker]

Can I perhaps dm you?

[Sameone]

Sur no problem

[Sameone]

But how aim goin to know your profile 🤔
Send me dm or invite

[JacobJordan]

You don't. You either stay and work through it or you bail and run. If you bail and run you will be running for the rest of your life. From one relationship to the next always trying to find a relationship that has no rough patches and then in your 80s or 90s you will realize you spent your whole life running when you could have been happy if you had only been willing to go through that rough patch all those years ago. Guess the better question is are you going to stay or are you going to run?

[Asker]

Stay most likely

[Asker]

Thanks

[JacobJordan]

Just be supportive and let him know you are there to listen. He may not talk but you being there is good enough. Also if he does talk about it don't ever use that against him. Hopefully you don't need to be told this but too many women pull that shit and then wonder why their man never shares anything.

[Asker]

Yeah thanks for the advice, I'll ask, I did ask if his happy with our relationship and if he wanted to change anything or if I'm doing to much of something he doesn't like or to little and he said no then I asked if his okay and he said yes so I don't know

[HawkPerception]

You can't just assume that. It goes by a case by case scenario. If someone is toxic, then they're toxic and there's no way around that. Compatibility is also an aspect of a relationship that a lot of people overlook because they don't know what to look for in a relationship. But compatibility is because similarities. Similar interests, views, way of thinking, style of communication, sense of humor, where you want to end up in life, sexual compatibility, etc. are all important aspects of chemistry and can really destroy a relationship if there are too many differences in those.

[sheikalana]

You need to give it some time. As long as both of you are not willing to give up on each other and on the relationship everything is possible. Also remember that it doesn't matter if you've been together for 3 years or 10 years you'll always have to keep working on your relationship.

[Asker]

Even if he seems to be losing interest?

[sheikalana]

well, if he’s losing interest you need to understand why is he losing interest and see if you can do something about it and if he’s willing to work on it together.

[Asker]

Says he isn't but shows every sign of it

[sheikalana]

Then you should believe him. I don't know for how long you've been together but people change with time. I'm certain you're not the same person you were in the beginning of the relationship. Is not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe he's too comfortable in the relationship and no longer feels the need to make any effort which I don't necessarily agree with.

[Asker]

True I guess thanks

[Anonymous]

God puts people on earth to learn from and face the challenges of the unique experience in life that we are given.

It is for this reason you can and should be thankful that you have opportunity to be tested and overcome this issue. For blessings are not merely that which we in our narrow perspective of life deem good, but also that which we learn and build ourselves from.
It is after all the latter not the former which benefit most from and take with us.

[Asker]

I get that but do I learn to build our relationship or do I learn to move on for future reference

[Opinion Owner]

Nobody can trust someone who does not honor their commitments and instead like a locus simply moves on always in search of greener pastures rather than taking care of the one they have committed to.

Such behavior undermines the key security that is the point of such relationships, while shopping around in search of a place without problems and perhaps even in the process making ever more of them.

The question of whether or not you should move on is a question of whether or not you have committed or are well suited to solve this problem.

I would consult a consoler give them all the details and get a realistic assessment of their recoverability if you had not committed. if you have you would need such advice even more to do what is needed to fix the issue or learn not to let it bother you anymore.

From what you told me it is impossible to say what the issue is it may in fast be something you can solve yourself easily if only you knew how.

[Asker]

True I guess thank you

[Anonymous]

I had broken it off over a year ago but with venting online and to him, we somehow now on our 5th anniversary, got back together. I believe we both learned from the break. I call it this because I never came out right out and said break up and with venting, we just kinda of ghosted each other off and on. With some relationships in what you call a phase he or you go through, It is 50-50 it could pass. Just have to trust God in this if it is meant to be.

[Asker]

So you got back together after how long? And how do I know that it'll pass or not

[Opinion Owner]

I Broke It Off in September 21 and Back With Him Our Fifth Year Anniversary This Year, dear. But Vented ON HIM BIG TIME All The While. lolxxoo

[Asker]

And he listened?

[Opinion Owner]

lol He Put UP WITH ME. xxoo

[Asker]

😂that his words?

[Opinion Owner]

Hahaha Ohhh, Yeah and Then Some, hun.

[Asker]

😅lol gosh and it's going good now?

[Opinion Owner]

Pretty Good. We keep in Touch a Few Times Daily and Being LDR, We Now Go on Cam A lot During the Week. xxoo

[Asker]

That's really good, Goodluck 🌸

[Opinion Owner]

Thank You, Ms. Pink. It Is Not All Gushy and Mushy Like Before But It Is More Comfy for Us.

[Asker]

And you're okay with that?

[Opinion Owner]

I Am. It doesn't feel so confining and noose around the neckie.

[Asker]

But romance is dead though no? Lol

[Opinion Owner]

We love each other in the same sense but not to be with another and yet, Not so that it is a hooked to the hip and sick like relationship deal. More space given now.

[Opinion Owner]

lol No It's not dead just a better understanding of everything now. Healthier.

[Asker]

That's really good then

[Opinion Owner]

Miss Pink, Getting even Better. hahaha

[Asker]

Well Goodluck

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks, I will need a continued one of those. hahaha

[Cody2004]

By talking to him basic shit you know why are you even asking this when you could talk to the guy oh my Lord basic fucking women I'm just kidding but also kind of not because I see this so much God I'm acting sassy today

[Asker]

Talking and bringing it up causes an argument , happened several times so yeah

[Cody2004]

Seems like he can't have a basic conversation with you then I can imagine how fucking annoying that is for you I had that issue and it just didn't work out not to like worry you or anything hopefully you like you guys could eventually fucking talk it out

[Asker]

Yeah can't like a few minutes ago he tells me his going to the gym and I should wait up he'll be an hour, I found it weird since it's 8pm and a Sunday so I brought it up huge argument and he left Says he'll send a picture and this is the last time I'm not trusting him in my life cause I'm being annoying

[Cody2004]

If you said that's the last time towards you for even bringing it up he's being emotionally abusive towards you and not listening to you so I apologize for joking earlier didn't realize it was this serious. He's really being that way and not communicating you don't deserve that level of disrespect from anybody it's just going to build stress on top of you and mess with you mentally which I wouldn't be surprised if it isn't already because it would be perfectly reasonable if it was. This is what frustrates me is when people in relationships don't communicate he doesn't give a fuck about your feelings and that's unhealthy for you to be put through that. I hope you have like a sister or brother even your parents maybe like talk to them about it they will give you the best advice because they love you and they would want the best for you even cousins and uncles anything.

My sister is overprotective as shit so I imagine you're family members will be also your own safety mentally or physically not saying stuff would get physical.

I would even recommend therapy I go to it all the time for cancer, that therapist is just like a therapist you would see. It really does help for a venting and unbiased opinion. Therapy would be for yourself not group therapy or a couple whatever it's called just for you. I do wish you the best though cuz this probably sucks ass for you

[Asker]

Thanks I appreciate it a lot but unfortunately there's no one to talk to , different country from my family so they can't do much right now and therapy is just looking for more problems cause he'd say I'm not happy in the relationship

And as for the cancer part all the best💓

[Cody2004]

Let me clarify for you I wasn't saying therapy for you and him just you, it seems like you're being emotionally abused a little bit which isn't like to put you down it just is how I view it he's telling you how you feel and stuff when he physically cannot know that unless you tell him. I just hope there's nothing physical going on if there is try your best to get out of that relationship you don't have to tell me. If I was in your situation I would probably cry, on top of everything that we've talked about the fact that he's left without talking to you and threatened to end the relationship just by bringing up that hurts you emotionally is emotionally abusive it is. There's no easy way around that I wish there was. Honestly concerned for you because that's a lot to take from just one person. I have to deal with something now because my friend just sent me something that she isn't supposed to send me. If you can try to keep the thing updated or just update the reply because I'm worried about you just straight up oh also thank you for the cancer thing I appreciate it

[Asker]

I don't know about therapy , he doesn't believe in it and neither does my family, would just cause problems but thanks for the talk , really appreciate it and no absolutely no physical abuse but thanks for the concern, Goodluck with everything 😊

[Cody2004]

Okay well I'll respect your decision I just wish you the best and thank you I appreciate it. Be safe out there

[rosemilk]

you guys communicate and get through it together, not separately. both parties need to put in the effort

[loveslongnails]

You make your best guess, and that would depend on exactly what kind of "phase" you're talking about.

[Asker]

Lack of interest, less time with me, more work and keeping busy

[loveslongnails]

That doesn't sound like a phase, that sounds like a lover or if not that, just losing interest in you. Might be time to tie up your walking shoes.

[Asker]

Miserable lol

[Asker]

So If I keep asking if his losing interest or things changed and he says there's nothing and everything's fine and says I'm starting again, what does that mean

[loveslongnails]

I have no clue what "I'm starting again" means. How long has this been going on?

[Asker]

A month or 2

[Asker]

And by me starting again I mean I've been bringing it up and trying to communicate about everything

[loveslongnails]

Oooh... he's telling you "don't start with me about this again". Alright, you probably won't like this, and remember, I'm going just on what you tell me and don't know the guy. This sounds VERY much like what guys do when they want out of a relationship but they don't want to be the one to end it. They gaslight you; they SAY things are ok but they change their behavior to make you think otherwise until you are forced to question those behaviors. When you do, they continue to deny anything is wrong, but don't really address your concerns.

You end up stewing over it because you can't get a straight answer and don't believe the ones he gives you. Eventually YOU break up with him because you're miserable, but now he can say " it's all on you; I was fine! You didn't believe me!"

[Asker]

Feels exactly like that, does everything to make me question him , stuff his never done before and when I question him I'm wrong about it so yeah you might be right thanks, how do I go about this if you have any suggestions?

[loveslongnails]

By "go about this", I will presume you are asking "how do I break up with him?" You expose his technique to him, even though he will deny it wholeheartedly. You say to him " Your actions don't match your words. You've changed your mind about me. I'm not stupid and I'm not going to let you gaslight me so you can play the one who got hurt and make me out to be the bitch. YOU broke up with me "x" number of weeks ago when you became a different person towards me, but you didn't have the guts to tell me. All I'm doing now is what YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE but were too much of a coward to do it. So, I'm out, and you don't get to say it's my fault. I know this game. YOU gave up on me. Ok, so be it. Better I found now than wasting any more time".

[itsclearlynicholas]

Sometimes it's best to do pre assessments before even getting that far would be my brain lol 😅😆 🧠🧠🧠

[itsclearlynicholas]

I'm a picky dude with women the way I am with merrily my food 😛👀😋

[Ms_Facesitter]

If both your actions speak for themselves. If he's actively working towards betterment there should be no problem.

[Anonymous]

Look at his track record. If he's had an issue at least twice already, expect another of the same or worse. History repeats itself.

[tiajoka]

Its more than likely his true colors coming out

[Asker]

How so

[OtterMan68]

1) You've had rough patches before
2) Both partners agree to work on the issue at cause

[Subflics]

You can gauge his understanding and if he wants to get better by asking certain questions

[whistlingwh0res]

all men are pussy and they want to get filled their pussy by a big tranny dick.

[serious_miss419]

Sounds like the start of an abusive relationship

[Guanfei]

If both are making efforts.

[DreamLife7]

You're 25-29 and unmarried he doesn't want you

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆