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To know that we are in it together, no matter what. She should be working hard and defending the household as I would be.
This question is very similair vice versa.
(Women, what would it take for you to feel secure in your relationship WITHOUT knowing a man body count? )
To be honest, I dont think most men just can't be helped. Its in it within them to decide wither is worthy or not to stay. Everyone is quite different.
For me though, be extra hygenci and play innocent (dont play the super experience sexpert I would imagine that would kill the foreplay)
(say that I am the best there ever was in bed, and trash on previous exs say they never made you climax and were terrible in bed. Make that into foreplay. lol )
I feel like prostitutes have probably stop more wars. I am pretty sure any of these incels if there were given a free deal at any of these prostitute to talk to them and give them a "freebie" they would totally be down for it. This whole "she is tainted goods act" is completely garbage. Like learn to recycle.
Also what is the reason she has such a high number? If she is just sleeping just for sleeping around, like that is a red flag. Because she knows she can get it and she prioritized the wrong or just not that same ideals that I would prioritized.
If she in love with the previous exs then sure but what ae the reason for the break up. She should focus on those reasons and tell those reason to the boyfriend to ease his insecurity.
Honestly both men and women should be guarded about who they touch. Relationships are very risky a bad girl can seriously destroy a guy as well.
No male in his right mind would proceed in a relationship with any woman if he didn't know an accurate and true body count , it's absolutely vital information.
If she's been too much of a SLUT ( or otherwise ) even if it's past , he must know to even consider a serious scenario with her.
An absolute for certain.
Most men aren’t conducting a census on a woman’s sexual history before diving into a relationship. Truth is, a lot of guys don’t ask for a body count, and even if they did, there’s no guarantee the number they get is the whole story.
I think body count is an important things to know. Personally I'm asexual and am not interested in relationships, but I can still understand how men wouldn't want to be with a woman who has been run through by multiple men until she is essentially used goods so to speak.
At the same time, women don’t want to be with a man who considers women “used goods” for simply having sex.
Then those women should stay single
No, they should choose men who don’t view women that way.
Good luck with that 🤣
It worked well for me 🥂
Good for you
Yes and good for the women I coach too.
Right. They'll end up believing they're entitled and should be put on a pedistal and when the man attempts to get onto that pedistal with her she'll kick him off into the mud
That’s got nothing to do with the topic at hand. Let’s stay focused.
I have adhd I can't stay focused 🤣 in any case, not all women are stupid enough to take any of your "coaching" advice. Those who do are already shitty women to begin with
The ones who want to stay happily married are wise to heed the lessons I offer. Enough with your judgments. I’m not tolerating your bs here.
Sexuality is only one of several factors in my relationship/s.
But where information is not given, imagination may add it. Conclusions from speculation aren't reliable ---
and so "security" will suffer.
As a result, I will secure my "security" from my own side.
Simple, she has to submit and adhere to my boundaries:
These aren’t boundaries. And no woman in her right mind is going to allow a man to have this much control.
Women like to use "the insecurity" as a reverse psychology to shut men down. But this has nothing to being insecure. Its a preference and most real men would not prefer not to marry free prostitutes. It's a potential mother for the kids and a wife they'd have to introduce to their family. What are the likely chances that she slept with a relative or a friend. Just my honest opinion. Don't attack it with some feminist or simpy low life b. s
Everyone has the right to preferences, but referring to women with pasts as “free prostitutes” is where preference might cross into judgment, which is exactly what we’re not tolerating. The core issue I’m raising isn’t about how many men a woman has slept with, but how we see and treat people and how we can build healthy relationships based on respect, without any judgement.
It's not necessarily insecurity to have preferences, but it's worth examining why they’re held, and it’s already been revealed in this thread l, as it often is when I raise this issue, that some men do struggle with feelings of inadequacy in comparison to other men a woman has been with.
Try and read my response with an open, unbiased mind.
It's generic, so no one specifically is being judged. And i clearly stated who men prefer not to marry. This means a specific type of females fall into that category, and it also indicates that outside of those types of promiscuous females, men don'thave any issues.
Therefore, unless you fit into that category, then your view as an asker should be neutral. That is if you want to learn about men from men. Hence, you're asking this particular question.
In terms of tolerance, forced narratives aren't tolerance, and noone cares who tolerates what. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. You can tolerate what you like in your personal life.
And it'd be absurd to make such a statement such as "without judgement." When the topic is relationship. Everyone uses their experiences and instincts to judge who's right for them and who's not. Hell your gender is worse for it...
Again, you're asking a question to learn about the opposite sex and who knows about men more than men themselves. If you're going to change tactics and put it down to a patronising "judging" statement such as "men struggle with inadequacy," at least be honest with yourself. Do men really feel inadequate compared to men they don't know. That is an oxymoron. Do men really compare themselves to other men? 😂 You and I know well enough that those characteristics belong to women. Just shows how little you know about men. Now, let's not judge a the opposite gender and stay free to make our choices. I choose who I marry. You choose who and how many you sleep with. But take accountability. If women gonna do it and eventually hide or be ashamed of it, then they know for a fact that it's their shortcoming, not men's
there's a fine line between using judgment to find compatibility and using it to uphold stereotypes or diminish others. The idea that one gender inherently judges more or feels inadequacy more acutely than the other doesn't hold up under scrutiny. Men are well known for measuring their dicks to the men who came before them, strangers or not. Both men and women are capable of feeling insecurity and making comparisons, just as both are capable of growth.
The focus on accountability should be applied with compassion and understanding, recognizing that everyone has their journey and lessons. Remember that accountability is for each person to navigate on their own, not on anyone else’s timetable.
Your choice of words doesn't mean what you're trying to say. In fact, it just shows how much arrogance breaths through you when confronted with factual truth. In simple terms, practice what you preach or humble yourself. If you asked the question out of curiosity to learn about men and what they think, put your biased opinions aside and learn about men. Instead of trying to act like a scholar on a matter outside of your control and nature. I do understand that you're also triggered by my early response, hence your defensive responses, but you ask a question to men, you have an answer from one of the real one.
The fact of the matter is that everyone is judgmental when making an important decision, such as choosing their life partner, whether you like it or not. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and as strangers, no one owes you to pattern their opinion to suit your narrative.
What you think you know about men, so you mentioned above just show the type of men you know and surround yourself with, which shows you more. The more you use silly attributes of boys to paint men, the more you show people that you made a lot of wrong choices in men. which, in a nutshell, explains your defensiveness and biased opinions and arrogance.
Lastly, if you're going to quote accountability, keep in the context that it was used. Instead of just waffling some b. s to suit your bias narratives.
The intent of my original question was less about me learning about men and more about challenging men to think deeper about themselves. It's rooted in my work with coaching clients, where these themes frequently emerge. The goal is to nudge towards introspection about what truly creates a sense of security in a relationship beyond superficial (body count) metrics. Security stems from more than just past partners. It stems from trust, communication, and respect. How, then, do we foster that security? That's the crux of the discussion I aimed to open up here.
😆 Good one. Throughout this conversation, you've changed tactics numerous times, you went from attempting to shame men for women's bad choices to an attempt to patronising men about women's past, to attempting to condensend men about what women deem men insecurity, to body shaming and finally to blame shifting and claiming to be a professional.
The issue you have if this is a professional career, you persue and not another tactic to deny accountability is that in this particular field, you're financially beneficiary, unethically on the basis of how you approached the top so far. As a result, men are being "milked" every day under the fake umbrella of fake qender equality 🙄.
In a nutshell, Pehaps you should challenge women to sleep with fewer guys. Hence, they're the gatekeepers for sex , and then men will contempate marriages more being the gatekeepers for marriage. But that is in an ideal world. Unfortunately, we live in the real world where morals were flushed down the drain, premisciouty is embraced as freedom of choice and the route to a deluded sense of independence.
Let’s just say I'm all for quality over quantity. And by quality, I mean guys who don't come with a heavy load of judgments, entitlement, or control issues. Guys who don't sit around holding court over someone's past as if they're entitled to a saint.
I encourage women towards relationships with men who respect boundaries, who know the value of respect, and understand that a her past is not open for scrutiny. So if we're trimming down the list in any way, let's just say we're opting for fewer of the judgmental, entitled, and “I demand a virgin” kind of guys.
Another bias repetitive response. That ego of yours is immensely inflated to want to have the last word 😄 perhps you're starting to like me. Pft. But you sound like you belong to a wave of females who pick and choose when they want quality over quantity after a number of years of being premiscious 😆. And if that is not the notion of being entitled, then you seem to be oblivious to it but it's ironic for you to be deluded and try to turn the table around to guys who have standards and misconstrue it for entitlement. Women usually surround themselves with idiotic butt kissers who argee with any absurdity to be validated back, and the result is unbelievable delusion.
However, the truth is the contrary. Guys/men do and will have a choice and are allowed to have standards. Whether feminists like or not.
And again. Your choice of words doesn't reflect on honesty, and the narrative you're trying to force shows real degeneracy.
As an adult, as a professional, you've confirmed, you can tell your client what you wish, but you're feeding them a false paradigm and setting for failure to feed into their ego and that itself is what the entitled culture is about. Respect is earned, not a given. Respect your bodies don't just give away to nobodies and be ashamed to disclose that to a life partner. Men don't take used good unless they're fools.
Well don’t get too excited, I'm replying to everyone here, when I have thoughts to their comments. 😆
My casual dating days in my late teens to early 20s, before settling down, weren't about racking up numbers. It was a time of fun, exploration, and getting to know different types of guys. My husband knows about this, but he’s not concerned about knowing a specific number because he knows it’s an insignificant figure. That period was invaluable for figuring out what quality in men really means to me and my husband understands this too.
Absolutely, guys (and everyone) are allowed to have standards. But those standards need to swing both ways. If a guy's standards are sky high, but he's not meeting them himself, or worse, he's quick to judge or weaponize honesty, then yeah, he's probably going to find himself on the “thanks, but no thanks” list. Smart women know their worth and won't settle for anyone who treats their transparency as a flaw.
There was no excitement 😂 that was sarcasm. Your husband probably cares but won't tell you because women of premiscious past are known to marry average, yes, mam type of guys who they can control with sex and mind games. And guys' standards never are high. You'll never find a guy who demands too much from women other than what has always been standard in society. Be traditional, be respectable, and be loyal and comply with good family values. A healthy family is the result of these standards. There is a fine line between transparency and having morals. I could go and meet a porn star who actually immorally makes a living out of being smashed by numerous males. Just because it's a job or she is honest about it. Doesn't make her a housewife. And I know 😂 I know you'll justify premisciuity until you're blue in the face. Because you're a woman. Women blame anything for their bad choices, but themselves and society pushes them to feel empowered and makes it seem like some type of freedom, but it's called selfishness and nativity when a person just live for themselves and noone else around them and let themselves be a commodity for others for profit.
The difference between an animal who eats, sleeps, defecate, and sex in the wild and human should be consciousness and morals. In the absence of those two, you're no different from a pig who defecate and eat their own facies.
I never ask.
If they wanted to tell me that is fine, and if someone asks me, I let them know not to ask a question if they aren't prepared for the answer, and if they want to know then I will let them know my best guess.
We all have a history of some sort, esp as we get older.
I was single by choice for quite a bit of my life, but still had "fun".
It's funny how guys want or expect to be with a virgin, but they themselves have a high body count.
Do you see no difference of values between a woman who thinks a random man can go inside of her and a woman who thinks only her beloved man should be intimate with her?
Values vary widely among different people, and it's important to respect that diversity. Some people view intimacy as something to be shared exclusively with a significant, committed partner, while others have a more open or different approach to their sexual lives. Neither perspective inherently indicates a person's worth or the depth of their capacity for love and commitment.
Of course it does. Even your response proved my point. You did make a good point why guys should care about women's views on sex when it comes to dating.
You said "Some people view intimacy as something to be shared exclusively with a significant, committed partner"
See? How this value of women matters to men who want serious monogamous rlationships with a woman.
You yourself gave the answer to the question that has been bothering you for so many years. "Why do men care about women's body count?"
Think about this.
Why would a woman choose not to sleep around?
How many reasons can you list?
I said *some* do, and also some don’t. You see, asking a question about body count (the number of sexual partners) and asking a question about one’s values are two completely different things. This is part of why so many people fail in relationships: they don’t properly communicate or articulate what they really want to ask.
In other words, if a man cares about a woman’s values, he can ask about her values, *not* about how many men she’s slept with. Example: how do you view intimacy and monogamy in a relationship?
That’s closer to the right question they should be asking.
So what values about intimacy might a woman who has slept around and doesn't regret have?
That intimacy is so special that it should be shared only within committed monogamous relatiomships?
Can a woman with a high body count who embraces her past view intimacy in this way?
If that is something so important to him, it's time to dump him and find yourself a better person.
The gentleman in the photo should count as three bodies.
Did not choose that photo 😆
Yeah, I know. It's an odd picture choice by g@g. Maybe AI Bot picked it?
![Guys, what would it take for you to feel secure in your relationship WITHOUT knowing a woman's body count?]()
If the woman was fat you would see no. issue, right?
Lmao
LOL I saw the photo and was like, this guys fucked
Genuine attention affection.. n involvement... as long as I feel u dig me.. you got me.. n ur proud of it.. u got to just hold us in high regard.. with out faking or overdoing it
.. you your self have self guided desire to maintain boundaries around other men..
.. if we're not up to par.. drop. out sooner than later.. hi. body count says.. she's cool to dip when ever for what ever...
But just as easily be the best times ever.
I mean, from the little I've experienced: as long as she knows what she wants and as long as she trust me and the relationship we are building/or build, then it's all alright for me. However if I don't feel there is reprocity or an appreciation of who I am, I am out.
nothing really...
I've never had to feel insecure about any of that
I am secure already. I don't care about her body count. She doesn't care about mine, why should I care about hers?
As to answer the question, I just look how she behaves and treats others, and how she behaves with me.
A consistent trustworthy, respectful and polite behavior shows she's a good person.
Nothing. And caring about your body count doesn't make men insecure. Pair bonding issues and the ability to actually love a man decreases the more and more men have been inside a woman. Women aren't meant to just be sleeping around. Neither are men but it effects women a little more because a lot of problems arise due to having a high body count
The whole pair bonding spiel isn’t backed by sufficient enough solid science that gives a black and white conclusion. It's a bit archaic to think someone's ability to love gets used up like a limited time offer. Not to mention, it’s just weird.
So a woman that's been screwed by 40 or 50 can turn off that lust off and love one man?
She can choose to love one man, absolutely.
So like the other guy said, if you know the guy you were about to enter into s relationship with had sex with 40 or 50 women before you, you'd be okay with it?
Well for me the number itself doesn’t matter. My comfort would depend on what other indicators of love and loyalty he’s showing me. Is he showing signs of dedication and faithfulness or is he showing signs that he’s still entertaining other options - that is the big one in my book.
If he's told other women he loved them after smashing them, what would make you any different
No it doesn’t affect me.
Would you believe him if he told you he loved you after telling a bunch of other women he fucked the same thing?
Like I said, Im not threatened by other women. What matters to me his proven behavior to me in the present.
That should be a good indicator to you that its not very likely he'll see you any different. If there's a pattern he exhibits, the probability of him doing it again is very high
I’m very good at judging character in many other ways.
And you'll still ignore the bad signs and continue going through with it hoping it will change. Wishful thinking
It would depend on what else I recognized. But remember we’re talking about numbers here and that alone is a foolish thing to judge someone on.
How is it foolish? It tells a lot about a person. What's the difference between the 30th dick you've had in you and your husband or boyfriends dick?
My husband has proven he’s more than just his dick.
But what's the difference between him inside you versus all the other men who were inside you? How is the sex any different for you when you've had sex with a lot of men before that
The only thing i would care about was if she was being safe about it. The guys wore protection abs no stds. Aside from that I genuinely don’t care about body count
My husband doesn't know my body count, and we have been together 9 years. Not all men are that petty or insecure.
Did he ever ask?
Same! There’s definitely a pattern with the men who are fixated on this number.
That's a security that should have developed within myself before I start a relationship not after.
I don't care two shits about her body count before she meets me. The only thing that matters is what we agree to after we meet.
What is important is they don't have transmittable, sexual diseases. Assuming she doesn't have a sexual disease, a high body count (if that is the case) could be a plus. They may be very aware of what they like and don't like sexually. And if they can communicate these preferences to their partner, their partner can ensure a good sexual experience for them...
On the other hand, a high body count could be an indicator of other problems (e. g. bipolar disorder).
I guess it does matter because it is associated with other potential problems. So my advice is... just work on everything else about you. Body count is just one data point.