Guys, what would it take for you to feel secure in your relationship WITHOUT knowing a woman's body count? (Page 2)

[handsomelad70]

Excuse me, but is the dude in the picture named Bubba? (And I'd feel secure in a relationship with a woman if she's a genuinely good person.)

[jahaims]

Her body count has nothing to do with insecurity for me personally

[Tstrbrainer]

If body count matters, then there's no other way around it to build the trust

[rebeliouse]

@MzAsh dont care what her body count is higher is usually better anyway

[Beacht]

Body count is only a worry for me if it’s too low. I want her to know what she wants.

[Slim57]

Nothing. It's not going to work if she's not around the same as mine.

[elizamichale1]

Bodycount shudnt matter tbh

[bobby_bush_eater]

It should though. Even if a girl has a high one the fact that she hides it is problematic and a sign of a lack of trust.

Having a high one doesn't make anyone a bad person but it absolutely shows poor decision making. To be forthright about that and be able to admit you've matured since then is important.

[elizamichale1]

@bobby_bush_eater well i agree tht one shouldn't lie about it... i m very open n i always tell the person who i m right at the start...

[MzAsh]

In an ideal world, being forthright is great. However, far too many use this number to judge women and the fixation has in itself become what’s problematic and untrustworthy.

[elizamichale1]

Yea true... thtswhy i believe being judgmental isn't right no matter what

[bobby_bush_eater]

That's true but would you want to date a man that accepts you for whatever your body count is and trusts you being open about it or would you rather hide it or lie and date the type of man who would ditch you if he knew your body count?

[MzAsh]

Id much rather be with a man who accepts me for my history and takes no interest in asking my specific number in the first place.

[WhiteBoyChill]

@MzAsh But if you have to hide your true self from somebody, what the f^ck is the point of being with them? Make it make sense. If you’re so afraid of being judged, than fcking find somebody else

[AmeerX]

Problem isn't the body count in itself. It's in the fact of stability of relationship. If a man or woman isn't satisfied with 4-5 life partners in a lifetime then they probably will have problem sticking to one.

[WhiteBoyChill]

@AmeerX 💯

[elizamichale1]

@AmeerX no honey u r wrong... i hav been with many guys... u know my job... n i hav no problem in sticking to 1 i married... my love for him never changed a tiny bit... it only increased by the time...
@WhiteBoyChill i absolutely agree tht when u date somebody u must tell them about wht u r so they can decide if they really want to be with u or not... for me its much better someone telling me on day 1 tht they r not comfy with me rather than sometime during the relationship they find out n think tht i deceived them n then leave me thinking tht i m a lier n deceptive person...

[AmeerX]

@elizamichale1 oh yeah, cool :)

[Billlewis]

I can't imagine downgrading a woman because she's been intimate with a fair number of guys. I'm much more likely to be lukewarm about dating her if she says she hasn't had intercourse for a long period of time. Of course, the central tenet of the kind of relationships I have with women is the dual elements of her relationships with other men and my ironclad restriction of only servicing her orally, so my vote probably doesn't weigh very heavily into this discussion.

[laly520]

that was asked before

[MzAsh]

Oh I didn’t see it

[Grond21]

Being with someone who had no body count

[austinbooth]

They must be Christian and good health

[Nifrayu]

Nothing. Nothing at all.

[Xoirwinkan]

Don't hook up with a whore

[Deserter2]

Body count matters

[MzAsh]

The focus here isn't on whether it matters, it’s on exploring other ways to build security in relationships without going into a partner's sexual history.

What qualities or actions in a relationship make you feel secure and valued, aside from knowing a partner's history?

[Deserter2]

If you won't reveal it you're just lying, even if by omission, there's no trust there

[MzAsh]

If everything hinges on a number, we're probably missing the point of what trust really means.

[Deserter2]

Nice way to reframe it but no, the higher the notch count the more likely they are to cheat, this is backed up by statistics

[MzAsh]

Stats have their place, but they don't capture the whole story about trust or loyalty. Let's not reduce complex human relationships to just numbers. That’s the opposite of the intended purpose of this topic.

[Deserter2]

They don't need to, high body count people are simply a liability, best to find a mate that has a low one

[MzAsh]

And women are better off with someone who gets that a strong relationship is about way more than just tallying up a past.

[Deserter2]

It's not just in the past though, it carries over. She has baggage and is likely to cheat, chances are she's settling anyways cause Chad doesn't want her. Her husband must be soooo lucky to be getting unenthusiastic sex

[MzAsh]

Holding onto the idea that past behaviors predict future actions oversimplifies nuanced human behavior. Sure, everyone has some baggage, but it's not a given it leads to cheating. People aren't prizes to be settled for. they're partners to grow with. Suggesting someone's love life is doomed or lacking because of their past misses the whole point of growth, forgiveness, and connection.

[Deserter2]

Women conveniently learn once they want kids snd the guys they do want won't commit

[MzAsh]

Men who won’t commit aren’t to be desired.

[lildkman1010]

I’m never secure

[Afvenom]

I wouln’t