Considering the strong feelings some guys have shared about needing to feel secure in a relationship, as I mentioned in my latest blog post on women keeping their body count private, I'm curious.
If the assurance from knowing her sexual history is off the table, what are some other ways to build that trust and feel really solid with each other?
Can you really fully trust anyone who keeps something from you? I've always been an open book with people I date, and I expect the same treatment. And whether or not body count is "important", if it even seemed like someone was withholding information, lying to protect themselves, or outright telling me that they didn't feel comfortable sharing it, it would make me wonder what else they weren't sharing, were lying about, or whatever.
Not wanting to share traumas is one thing. But when you're intimate, all sexual things tend to be on the table. Have you ever done this position? Been with someone of the same gender? Had a threesome? Etc. People getting to know each other. But if you're willing to talk about all those things, but not how many people you did it with, there's something fishy going on there.
Also, one of the things not addressed in your article (unless I missed it?) was the main reason for knowing body count in the first place, whether for a man or woman. It's been statistically shown that higher body counts typically mean worse long-term relationship outcomes. Someone who's been with so many people in their past are more likely to feel like it's easier to "move on" when things get tough versus "work on the problems". This is the reason for the greater divorce rates in the modern age. Not that people are more comfortable leaving abusers, but because of the ease of divorcing if you're "not happy" or "things got too hard" when you're going through a rough patch.
I know a dude who's on his 5th marriage. One of the nicest dudes you'll ever meet, total open book, the women he divorces always call him up when they need help later on with something, he tries to stay their friend and everything, and only 1 of the 5 is one he says was a total nutcase.
Would it not be important to a woman who met this guy to know that he's been through 4 or 5 divorces? Or that maybe he slept with 30 women before his first marriage? These things have been shown to be important indicators for relationship trustworthiness and long-term outcomes. Wouldn't a woman with only (say) 3 previous sexual partners, who's looking to get married, want to know someone's a serial relationship ditcher with at least 40 notches in his belt?
I think it would be, and it would be unfair for a man in that situation to keep this from his next female partner. As such, I think the same thing the other way around.
If body count didn't matter, these relationship issues wouldn't exist as a result of body count, and then the people saying body count doesn't matter would be right. But the fact that relationships are affected by it (even if indirectly) means that it does matter, at least within a certain context.
I get where you’re coming from about openness. Transparency’s great, in an ideal world. But let’s be honest, most guys say they want the truth until they get it. Then, it’s a whole different ballgame with judgments flying left and right. The quest then becomes…can you truly trust someone who’s quick to use body count as a measure of a woman’s worth? I’d have my doubts.
Divorce isn’t just about who’s been with who. it’s a recipe of factors, and working on the relationship is a choice, regardless of body count.
Body count might be a big deal for some, but I’m really admiring the takes from men who are putting effort into answering my question properly, and there’s only about 5 so far.
It’s interesting how whenever I discuss this topic with the men who seem to think this number is important… the tend to reveal feelings of inadequacies and insecurity with their own performance In the bedroom and in relationships.
I believe most men that date or have common sense approach it from the mindset of knowing they are more than likely not the first man their potential interest has been with. They just WANT to believe they are blowing packing peanuts off of a fresh product.
Now if we look at the taboo question of body count here, there is a lot of belief that pair bonding ability becomes lower with each personality woman sleeps with and it shows they have no level of restraint or respect to who they sleep with. Now obviously this is not true, but there is no shortage of super hoes out there that like to have a train tun on them, either. In short if the approach comes to the idea of "if men can do it, we can too!" Which to be fair they can, but it sure as hell won't sit well with men that are turned off by women who emulate the same behaviors as men.
There is other means to show security, loyalty and commitment on the women's end, but this also depends on the woman in question as well. Factors to take in for men need to be the following:
1.) Does she say what she means and follow up and do what what she says she is going to do?
2.) How many and how frequent were her past relationships did she have?
3.) How does she feel about commitment?
4.) Is she accountable and capable of admitting when she fucks up or is wrong and apologize rather than shift blame and make an excuse for bad behavior?
5.) How are her social media habits? Does she feel the need to flaunt herself and post questionable pictures despite the fact she is in a relationship and makes her man uncomfortable because it comes off as advertising she is open to offers from other men?
6.) Is she able to be loyal?
If we are avoiding the body count question, she better be able to answer these questions or her personality better fall in line with the man's stance on these questions.
Ok. All that you said is fine and dandy. However here is the thing about this whole well if a man can do it why can’t a woman. And you say they can! How do I put this! Alright I’m just gonna fuck up the guy code here. Here is why body count is important. We are all living in a fake ass reality when you think for a second that sex is a fair and even game cause it’s not even close the difference in that little run the train on a girl is yes the guys will vs yes the girls can. And this goes for every single situation, moment, opportunity for every single man. In others words she has the golden ticket and she calls the shots on what is going to happen this night or any other night. Gents You know what I’m saying is true. I don’t care if the girl thinks he’s the most alpha got his shit together most attractive man in the world if she thinks for one sec he’s in charge then he has her fooled by using her insecurities, because he is not in charge of shit. At the end of the night the one with the vagina has the say. Some girls know this but most act like it’s a fair game out there. Men know this deep down. It’s not how many women did you decide to have sex with it’s how many women allowed you to have sex with them. So yes this number does matter. Did she show restraint before I met her or did or did she say fk it , everybody gets a turn.
@Whitewulf whatever bro. I left this chat a long time ago.
@Whitewulf apparently you did since you felt the need to open your mouth and hijack my thread.
We are all adults here, we all know that most likely the people we are with have been with other people before us. Obviously the other people before us probably weren’t that great if they’re with us now.
I don’t think a woman body count has anything to do with a man feeling secure in a relationship. Security comes from that woman respecting him, showing that she reliable/can keep her word, from allowing him to feel like he in a safe space to share his dreams/concerns with her, from being honest and not cheating.
The only way how I see body count factors into a relationship is being sexually responsible. I would definitely want a new partner to get tested and show me they are clean before doing anything sexual. As long as they are clean, I wouldn’t care if they slept with 0,5, or 100+ people.
Also, if you have an expectation for your partner to have a low body count, then you too should have a low body count. Don’t ask something of someone that you don’t have/can’t provide either. The men who focus on women body counts, tend to already have their own low self esteem and that’s why they would need to feel secure about such a superficial thing.
It would take a lobotomy for some of these guys to stop caring about body count because of how insecure they are 😆
If you could push a button that made all men you dated way less likely to cheat, more likely to be mentally healthy and more likely to date for marriage would you do it?
That’s what I do when I exclusively date virgins.
@James_Likes_PPL you sound insecure
You didn’t answer my original question ^^^
@James_Likes_PPL If your that easy to dismiss someone as used goods, then your not marriage material. What is a small number in the grand scheme of a marriage?
@Djaay lol dismissing someone because they have a sleep number, is as emotional decision making as it gets. Logically she is still the same person. A person who went through divorce or had found someone they loved and then they passed away. Like your imagination is only fixated on sleep numbers till oblivion.
You should invest in a sleep number mattress. If you feel insecure about your wifes sleep number.
You should also use the lesson from your others. Can you imagine how much she can improve your love making skills. The reason why the Native Americans fell because they were too isolated from the rest of the world and then when the British came they all died due to disease.
So like the above example, learning about new skills can help you and your soldiers not die out.
Still refusing to answer my original question.
Opinion
68Opinion
Well, as much as I'd hate the thought of another man going balls deep in my girl, I'd just have to be sure that she's not the type to mindlessly sleep around. Because the last thing I wanna do is get in a relationship with someone who's easy to get. I'd rather her just be my side piece if she's that easy.
Before I lost my virginity I had insecurities about the girls that were already available to me for a good fuck, the top 3 were the usual pretty girls all the boys in highschool fancied , modestly wealthy families, but however the allaged body count on all those 3 girls I delayed to fuck was somewhat already over a mere 3 guys on each of them,
This made me more repulsed by their sexual advances towards me, I went into a deeper depression when one of them became preg grade 12, my suspicions were confirmed by the streets and highschool gossip , I lost all 3 without taking at least one to bed , the last girl was so brave and made frequent visits to my home , but I just didn't feel matured enough or ready to engage her sexually,
I became the famed alleged virgin in class more and more girls started to look at me in a odd and sympathetic way, all this became a giant shit ball of depression
I don't like being inexperienced or surpassed by a females body count that crushed my teenage self at the time, I discovered pornhub and lots of porn fetishes during that period in my life, but one day at a shebeen near my university a dirty old man observed me declining a thirsty highschool girl , he went to my table and told me something that even my parents never taught,
'young man you will die a virgin if your handsome young self refuses sexual advances from a woman bcoz you are looking for a virgin like yourself, I denied being a virgin but he continued to woof woof about the technical impossibilitoes of finding a virgin partner , then it started to make sense after his obscene and grosteque words which he proudly spoke in a drunken stuper , GIVE ZERO FUCKS & FUCK WHOEVER COMES YOUR WAY VIRGIN OR NONE VIRGIN MULTIPLE KIDS OR NO KIDS,
Before my 1st year at university ended. . . I became a roaring lion , starting my crusade to lose my virginity in my hometown with a baby mama highschool girl very hot , body count unknown, and quiet frankly I really didn't care at that point I was shamed for sleeping with w*** but I did it again and again till she fell preg with a 3rd baby , I refused to acknowledge the baby was mine, I continued my crusade for years spanning a negative reputation in the dating community but I didn't care the gossip and rumors of me being a jerk towards women in my town got me 1 woman after another knocking at my cave, the virgin that I wanted so bad to share my 1st time with finally came unexpectedly zero effort, later on 2 more fell into my cave all 3 too inexperienced to play along in my wide pool of sexual partners, they got threatened away by my current fuck buddies, virgins? Mxmmm overpriced wack sex and
& BODY COUNTING ? Any men with a good working head over their shoulders should swallow their ego / pride, on rare occasions would you be on par or surpass a woman's body count, fuck that nonsense
People have different values and beliefs regarding sexuality. For some, knowing a partner's sexual history is important for assessing compatibility in terms of values and attitudes towards sex. An important common human emotion is, jealousy, and it can manifest as a desire to know about a partner's past relationships. This can arise from insecurities, fear of comparison, or concerns about a partner's fidelity.
If we look back in history, traditionally in the society, men have been socially conditioned to view a higher number of sexual partners as a sign of masculinity and success. Conversely, women have often been subject to more judgment or stigma for having multiple sexual partners. This double standard can drive some men to be more concerned about a woman's sexual history. Luckily, attitudes towards sex and gender roles are continually evolving, and there's a growing emphasis on respecting individual privacy and autonomy in sexual matters.
When my wife and I were dating, we both came with the attitude that body count is something of the past and unless we personally believed something from the past experience could affect the future and hence wanted to share, this private information doesn't define who we are today nor what the future may look like. We've now been married for two years and although we've since shared some past sexual experiences, it has never been about body count but rather interesting outcomes, which pleasing enough has spiced our sex life even more ;)
tbh, I'm just naturally repelled and disgusted by women that have slept around a lot. I remember one girl told me the things she'd been up to, and that killed it there and then. There are no double standards since I feel the same way about men. There is little I can do to feel otherwise. Maybe you can think about it as a misalignment of values. I need to have certain ideas about her to see her as marriage or long term material. I don't mind people enjoying their sexuality and having a reasonable number of sexual partners. But if they just give it away willy nilly, sorry, I ain't into that.
I know it's not PC but I also don't care about what kind of cuck ideal that I'm supposed to live up to. Men and women need to demand better and have some self respect.
Also, what possible reason can there be for hiding that information if the person in question was comfortable about it? As for saying you won't be believed, as per your article, we can get an impression of people and whether things tally up from how they talk and all of the little sutble communications and intimacies. You know when people are trustworthy, you know when people are lying.
Ultimately this issue does matter because you can always find someone of a same mindset, sexual history, or a guy who does not care. So why are you making a big deal about it? And the fact that I've seen you go on the attack when men have an alternative idea kind of shows that that you're uncomfortable about this. This is a basic defense mechanism.
It would seem some women have slept around because of the low value they place in themselves at a certain point in their lives. I would much more respect a girl who can be honest and upfront about this and tell me it is her past but has moved on.
I get where you're coming from with your personal preferences, but saying there's little you can do to change how you feel about someone's past might sell yourself short on personal growth. It's cool to want a partner who hasn't given it away willy nilly, yet equating a number with self respect isn't our call to make. People's worth isn't a tally of their sexual encounters.
And about knowing when someone's lying or not.. I believe most folks swing between being overly trusting due to naivety or overly skeptical due to past experiences or a guilty conscience, with a sweet spot of discernment being on the rare.
I'm stirring this pot because in my line of work, the body count debate pops up a lot. My aim is to push for a deeper dive into trust building that doesn't hinge on past numbers. When I seem to go hard against certain views, it's not an attack but a pushback against judgment vibes and shaming tactics.
I'm all for honesty and moving forward from past choices. Yet it's a tough road when being upfront about one's past doesn't lead to respect but punishment from those hung up on punishing women for living their lives. That's the heart of the issue here.
I did have a partner who had slept with quite a few men. I loved her, but it still bothered me. I just don't think I would get into a relationship with someone who had slept around now. I don't think it's a personal preference thing, I just can't change the innate way I feel about it. I mean, I know it's not PC, pleasant or nice, but think of the nuts and bolts of it. The idea of myriad men ejaculating into your partner is not nice. I'm a major clean freak and I get disgusted by the smallest of things. Like if I get disgusting by the littlest of dried food on a poorly cleaned fork, how am I going to live with some grubby sod that she's allowed to ejaculate inside her?
I just can't change this aspect of myself and I think it would be silly to try. By my advanced years honestly it's fairer for both parties if I just go with the right person with the right values. Sure their worth is not a tally but their values are. I cannot change my feelings and my sense of something. It's not a rational thing, and people who claim to be rational seldom are, anyway.
You know which girls have dicked around without even asking because you get a sense of a girl and her values from talking to her. Some girls won't sleep around outside of relationships and you know who they are, with a reasonable sense of accuracy, while just getting to know them. So yes, I'd argue I have discernment.
Living their lives? An interesting notion. I was thinking about this today. I'm just wondering if there is something deeper to this namely whether it is a power issue. There is a sense today, and you can get it from the sense of bitterness coming from men, that there is a power disparity between the genders. Namely, that women have more power than men. So women can express that power by 'living their lives', or shall we say, having fun, sowing their wild oats, or getting dicked, crudely. Willy nilly. And could one not argue that women want the power of that without getting the consequences of men expressing what power they have by being selective about this. But given there is a power imbalance you could argue that well, it's just men getting revenge or being bitter, in expressing their crumbs of power. Or on the other hand, like I say, that women want the power without acknowledging the consequences.
By the way, you could also argue that trying to shame men for having preferences, belittling them by saying they are insecure, is another form of power expression. Honestly, I think women hold a lot of power and the thought of a man expressing any in return is just intolerable to them because of their elevated position of power. I know there are men who are weak and insecure, but they're not all like that.
Kudos to you for acknowledging that your issue around this has more to do with your own personal perception and insecurities rather than faulting anyone else’s behavior.
I created this thread because I wanted to challenge the idea that we should judge others worth or values based on their sexual history. If we focus on respect, we might just find that what truly matters is how people treat each other in the here and now, not the ghosts of bedrooms past.
It's fair to seek a partner who shares your values, but i wanted to make a point here about not confusing value alignment with a scoreboard of sexual history.
I highly doubt it could get to that point… but if I changed enough or got desperate enough… I still think knowing how long ago it was, and how old she was when her last “grouping” was, AND she took STD tests before we got married, then maybe (by the way, I’d be up for giving her the results of any STD test I would have before marriage - I have nothing to hide as far as that goes). But it still shows some potential issues.
It’s not JUST the numbers, but the lifestyle behind it.
How does she act when she’s alone for a while - does she sneak? Does she revert to old ways and fall off the wagon with other vices? When she wants to seek revenge? How does she act when her brain or heart assumes cheating (and I’m not) “oh she had a dream that I cheated, so obviously her feminine intuition is NEVER wrong, so I must be.” So she’s gonna cheat “For revenge.” “Get” me before I “get” her.
I think there ARE other factors (other that numbers) that would make me leery of a relationship with a particular woman. But numbers are a factor. And trust in her not lying about those numbers is a factor too.
I don't care about body count. Why? Well if those guys were so great and I suppose we have to worry about them why are they not in her life anymore and I am? Seems like I'm the one kicking their asses as long as she stays with me.
And to answer your question directly, consistency and time. She would need to be consistently loyal and care for me, prove herself over time. People promise me the world early on but it takes time to see if they are actually going to deliver on it. I have read the honeymoon phase can last for 18 months!
you ignore possibility that they dumped her but she would take them back if they returned
Thanks for having a mature perspective on life
I wouldn't knowingly date someone who has been with many more people than me sexually. The past does matter to me and I always want to know a girl's history. If a girl sleeps around in her past, it says a lot about her character and I'm not gonna be the "nice guy" she gets to settle with. Imagine a girl is in OnlyFans or is a porn star and has been with 100 guys in the year. The visual of her having all those dicks in her... big, small, and some having wild sex with her, with some likely some being better in sex than myself. There's no way I'm ever choosing to be with a girl like that.
For me, as long as the amount of partners and sexual experience isn't far from mine, and they dated with the intention of it being long term, I'm good with it. I've only had 3 girlfriends so I've only had sex with one, so I'd prefer only being with a girl that's been with a max of like 7 guys. I'd rather not date someone above that.
First off, I don't sleep around. Secondly, while I wouldn't say I'm bad at sex, being the best out of 100 guys is kinda tough especially when some have bigger dicks, had some wild sex with her in younger days, etc. I'm the type of guy that wants to be better than all of her past.
Yes you can have all the time to try stuff with her and be the best, but I'd rather not live with the visual image of her with that many guys or if she's potentially lying if she says I'm the best she's been with sexually
Exactly. I don't want to be on the list to be compared.
I get where you're coming from. But isn't it exhausting to carry around the baggage of how many men she’s been with? What if we just dropped that and focused on what's happening right now? We all have stuff we're working on, insecurities included. So what's stopping you from ditching the comparisons and working on being the best in the here and now?
The past is something you need to own and live with. Accountability is a thing. If you kill someone, be prepared to be judged your entire life. If you were a porn star or spread your legs for a ton of dudes, be prepared to be judged the rest of your life.
I'm not saying your value as a human goes down, but your value to others in the dating market definitely goes down.
I'll say it again. If I know a girl has slept with a ton of guys or more than I prefer, then I wouldn't even date her or have that "baggage of how many men she's been with" to begin with.
I hear you on the importance of owning your past. However, the goal here isn't to judge or assign value based on someone's history, sexual or otherwise. It’s building a healthy forward looking relationship. If the past is a non-negotiable for you, that's your call. But women reserve the right to choose someone who won’t hold their history against them. So, shifting back to the original question, how can one work on their insecurities and not rely on the past of their partner to dictate the value of their current relationship?
@MzAsh I think most men want a woman who they can bond with in a special way in and out of the bedroom. If a woman has experienced so much sexually in her life than it's hard for the man to find something unique for just the two of them. It's not about how many guys it's about what kind of experiences are left that they can share together and only them share. Not many with many women. Found this thread interesting thought I would add my two pennies.
I want the other guys who have bedded her to have been much more satisfying for her, even though in reality I could probably leave them in the dust if that were important to me. In my case, the celibate/cuckold persona is my after hours role; during the day, you'd never suspect me of enduring such a ignominious indignities, which is of course why I find it necessary to pursue them.
It's hilarious how badly modern women want their sexual history to not matter. They want zero accountability it seems. Sorry, but everything in the past matters. It can dictate what she'll be like in the future and the kind of person she is.
I didn't sleep around, ever, so my future wife shouldn't have either. Not that it was an issue for me to find a girl like that. I'm religious so I married a religous lass who has the same mindset as me.
Is it the only thing that matters? No, of course not. Education also matters, political understanding, trustworthiness, maturity, etc.
The problem is, too many men have proven they only want to use this information to judge and use her body count as a yard stick for measuring her worth, and the goal is to reject relationships with men who do that. How, when, or if accountability is held is her choice and her business. It’s not for anyone else to govern, so we’re taking that off the table.
It is part of her worth to men. You and promiscuous women don't get to tell men what we should or shouldn't want.
Men can want what they want. Doesn’t mean any decent woman is going to want them back. And that all hinges on how well they actually understand and apply various relationship skills. No self respecting woman is going to tolerate a man who believes her worth to be tied to her body count, regardless whether life her number is 0 or if it’s 100.
I never thought body count is a good measure of a person's promiscuity in the first place. For example, mine is rather high but I'm extremely monogamous and never dated more than one woman at a time and always with some prospect of marrying her.
What complicated things in my case is that I had to travel to new cities all the time in my early 20s for my work. So a lot of my relationships, including my very first serious girlfriend in uni (who I actually wanted to marry), became long distance and fizzled out that way.
So I never minded if a woman similarly has a high body count as I did provided she shares the same deeply monogamous values I have and didn't accumulate that count from the likes of one night stands and orgies. That's all she has to convince me about is that she shares the same deeply monogamous values I do and always did to not mind her body count.
I'm not the type to ever ask about it in the first place anyway.
Like other people have said, high body counts are relevant to the current relationship. If she has a history of sleeping around or serial monogamy, it makes it much, much more likely that the current relationship will fail.
Sorry ladies, but actions have consequences. You can't have your cake and eat it too no matter how much you whine and complain and stomp your feet.
Yup. So many women these days don't want to accept that there are consequences.
Would you want a relationship with a man who was a womanizer and sees women as little more than sexual conquests? A series of notches that he can tick off on his belt?
So why do you expect men to accept that kind of slutty behavior from women?
Fair point about not wanting to be seen as just another conquest. No one wants that unless they too are simply seeking conquests. Though that’s still a separate issue than crunching numbers and judging based on the figures alone. It's possible to have a higher count from genuine, monogamous relationships, where real care and connection were involved. I have friends with body counts close to 20, where some might think wow that’s kinda high. But each of those were in real relationships with. Judging solely on numbers misses the depth of those experiences.
lmao that isn't any better. So not only has she slept around with an incredible number of dudes, but she's a sociopath who treats relationships as commodities to be traded in whenever it's convenient. In some ways I would consider a serial monogamist even worse than a girl who just sleeps around. She obviously isn't loyal or committed to those relationships or is any good at picking men she's compatible with because she just swaps out and fucks a new boyfriend every couple months to couple years.
Basically, she gets past the honeymoon period with a man, gets bored, and moves on to the next guy. That's not a deep relationship whatsoever. That's deep-seated psychological issues is what that is.
Jumping to conclusions isn't doing anyone favors. Relationships aren't black and white. They are about growth, change, and sometimes that means moving on. It's hardly fair to slap labels like “disloyal” or suggest deep seated issues just because someone's path to finding a meaningful connection involves multiple attempts. Let’s chill on the judgment.
That's not multiple attempts though. It's not like this woman dated several men and had difficulties finding one she connected with. No, rather she entered several relationships and had sex with these men - treating both sex and the relationship itself as little more than quests to be completed - and then dumped the guys and moved on to the next fake relationship.
Again, you really show off your inconsistency and double standards here. You all ready admitted that you wouldn't accept that kind of womanizing behavior from a man, yet you fully expect men to put up with it and call us "judgmental" when we label it for what it is.
Seems like we're mixing up a couple of things here. First off, when I talk about not accepting womanizing behavior from men, im talking about the intent and disrespect behind the actions, not the number of relationships or partners. And that goes both ways, regardless of gender. The key difference I'm highlighting is between genuinely seeking a connection in relationships, even if they don't last, and treating people as conquests.
My point here is to challenge the idea that a person's value or suitability as a partner can be boiled down to their number of past sexual partners. It's more about how they regard and treat their partners in those relationships.
How am I supposed to judge inner intent though? What I see is a woman who says she's supposedly been in 20 committed relationships and immediately the first two things I think are that I doubt she was really all that committed and that I'm going to be #21.
Can you tell me truthfully that if some guy who's slept around with dozens of women tells you you're the only one for him and promises you the moon you aren't going to think he's telling you the same thing he's told all the other dozens of women before? I doubt it. It would be naive to think that he's being genuine with you.
The way she behaves.
The way she treats others.
Her ethics and values.
Demonstrating loyalty and trustworthiness.
A desire for an exclusive, monogamous relationship.
Genuine respect and adoration for me.
We are sexually compatible.
These are all things that I assess for myself as we get to know each other. I don't need a resume or background check to know what I need to know about her.
I don't care about her body count. I never asked a girl hers and none ever asked mine.
Body count does really factor in my thoughts about security and why should it? Is a woman with 3 previous sexual partners worth more than a woman with 5 ? It’s ridiculous to think that could be true especially whilst making no difference when compared with men. Feeling secure with a woman is feeling respected , that you share trust , I have her support and care , her loyalty and commitment. Should I feel more secure if a woman has slept with less men or women? Or no men or women … that wouldn’t change anything
As a longtime cuckold and submissive male servant, I'm absolutely fascinated with the physical intimacy that my mistress is having with the extraordinarily fortunate men with whom she shares her bed, and of course, the select, upper echelon guys who have enjoyed this unbelievable privilege in the past. However, if she prefers to keep her personal, social and sexual history off limits, I understand completely, and I'll dedicate myself to the task at hand, which is, of course, pleasing her.
As long as she doesn't have a long string of bodies in her past, it doesn't much bother me. What I think women are failing to understand about men's concerns with her body count is really not the body count at all. It's about how she racked up so many sex partners. As in what ways.
If it's a woman who's had oh say 8 partners in her life, but all those were in actual relationships she had, it's really not much of an issue. Because she had the intent to love and be in a serious relationship with those men. The issue is when women are hooking up like mad, having one night stands, or just giving themselves up to any ol' guy just for the love of sex.
Also what I've discussed here before is: sex impacts women differently than it does men, and especially casual sex. And it does alter them in ways that is not exactly the same for men. And you can see it as well.
Her behavior towards me and other people. Towards me in terms of showing interest in my life and be a part of it by for instance not looking at a screen when talking to me. I don´t like when I talk to people and they constantly have to look on their phone since to me that shows a lack of interest. Not flirting with other guys, there´s a difference between talking to other guys and flirting with them.
Another aspect I would prefer is keeping your social media private meaning if one is happy in a relationship than I don´t see a reason for having public social media unless it´s a business. If one validation from other people and sees a need to share private and intimate pics and stories with the world to get validation from strangers I would say it destroys the security of a relationship.
The problem is that people seem to not comprehend that some men have boundaries and are unwilling to compromise them. It's got NOTHING to do with a girl's body count. You do you. Men who have boundaries and are unwilling to compromise them are either holding out for the right woman or will be content with their day-to-day without the drama and headache that may come with a person that impinges upon those boundaries. For me, I'd rather never even seen someone I'm attracted to for the rest of my life if it means I also have to deal with the inane drivel that seems to control public discourse regarding dating and relationships. Again, that's MY decision. It has nothing to do with anyone else.
I would want to know the answer to this question before I said anything about body count. I truly don’t know the answer but I have a guess. If my guess is correct then it should answer the question for both sides and to why or why not body count is important. Ladies. When start dating a guy exclusively and call him your boyfriend and there are felling so it’s serious relationship, would you want that guy to be less sexually experienced than you or more?
as in you had your wild side and experienced threesome, or group sex or maybe just fantasy’s and kinks then you meet your new boyfriend and all he’s done is vanilla one one. But really wants to try all the stuff you’ve already done. Or would you rather it be the other way?
The issue isn't the body count, but the quality of the person.
You can't make a housewife out of a whore, off the bat. So, if all you are offering as your compensation for your high mileage is bad attitude, druggy friends and no soft skills, then of course guys are going to be "insecure".
In much the same way you would be "insecure" you got a shit deal with the dangerous car that you got on cheap.
Every human makes mistakes, but we also move on and develop. It's those that stick with those bad habits and have not moved on that guys are trying to filter with their "body count check".
Obviously a woman’s body count matter, that’s why she hides it. It is very telling on the immature nature of the way the question is even asked. No one is insecure because he wants to know her hoefax, if it didn’t mean anything you wouldn’t be saying a person is insecure for even asking. Now what would it take for a man to except that a woman is never going to tell you the truth about her number? Hmmmm depends on how much denial he can except. But guys, remember there are some women out there that will be honest about their numbers because it’s low. So you know when she starts speaking like every other girl you dated when you ask that very simple question. Know it’s a high count. They will try and say it does not matter, but what matters to me matters to me, and you can not shame me into thinking other wise.
If you can point out your accusations with proof that would be better. What I think is irrelevant, but what is fact is a fact. Men care about body counts, and only women with high numbers do not want how many bodies they have to matter.
Whoever in this thread that you do or not want to associate with has nothing to do with the answer that given, all because you do not like the truth doesn’t mean it’s a lie. No one here I believe is trying to associate with you, but answer a question a 39 year old woman should already know. Men would like virgins, but will except a woman that acts decent and looks nice. If she has a high body count, no one will take her serious, except men that she really doesn’t want. Example, prostitution is not respected and the saying “you can not turn a hoe into a housewife” exists for a reason. Pornstars, another example, men are lining up to have sex with, but not marry. Imagine watching your girlfriend bang all those men. Jeeezus…
Well then there’s the question of what constitutes as high body count. Different men have different standards, and many are way more flexible than other. By the way, I lived in small cities with mostly biker bars and strip clubs so I have known quite a few strippers and escorts (likely prostitutes) through the years, and most are wives and moms that you’d never guess about their past. It does happen.
Body count is a stupid idea rooted in the minds of insecure, anxious, weak men. Normal people like sex. Do you have a venereal disease, or psychological disorder that causes sexual issues, relationship issues, or problems bearing children, would be a more appropriate inquiry than the rather blunt and pathetic, "what is your body count", inquiry. One she could lie about and leave you vulnerable to all the above.
If you need to hide info about yourself like body count then you're already a red flag. Your body count is an indicator of choices made. Whether good or bad doesn't matter. Hiding it says your awful at communicating.
Except body count and divorce rate and infidelity are directly linked. So it is quite important. With no partners and 1 or 2 partner the odds of divorce or infidelity are the extremely low with 3 it begins to climb and very very rapidly. Statistics vary but all agree that 3+ is a massive red flag
It’s become pretty clear that digging into a woman’s sexual history often does more harm than good, so the focus here is on exploring other ways to build security in relationships without going into a partner's sexual history.
What qualities or actions in a relationship make you feel secure and valued, aside from knowing her history?
There is nothing. She could be an amazing person but if she has a high sexual past she is going to be problematic. Guys don't want women with high body counts at least not for marriage and if they do they end up divorced and mad that they accepted it. Instead of focusing on how to get people to accept it women should have self control and self respect at least enough to not sleep around. Guys need to do the same don't misunderstand me. But guys tend to care more about aa woman's past than women care about a man's. I married a virgin for a reason and it was because it gives our relationship the highest chances or success. If you were presented with 2 guys identical and looks and how they treat you. 1 is rich right now and 2 has stable income but nothing amazing. And you knew that if you were to get into a relationship with the rich guy there was a 70+% chance that the relationship would end where as if you got with the stable income guy you had a 90% chance of staying together. Which would you pick? This is the same thing for women with high body counts at 3+ the relationship has a nearing or passing 70% chance to end. Where as getting with a virgin or a woman with 1 past partner the odds are around 85-90% that the relationship succeeds and is healthy and happy. Please explain why any guy should be willing to accept a 30% or less chance of a good relationship when they can just get with a virgin or a woman who has had 1 past partner and have a near certainty of happiness.
Equating a woman’s value and the potential success of a relationship with her sexual history is a pretty contentious viewpoint. It isn't a one size fits all scenario.
You may have made choices that work for you, but not everyone shares the same metrics for happiness or success. Juxtapose, Lliam, and Shadez McGee here have brought some valuable insights that relationship success is more about communication, respect, and shared goals than about her past.
So going back to the purpose of the discussion, we’re focusing on what truly builds a strong relationship like trust, compatibility, and growth. These are the qualities that tend to stand the test of time.
That’s a different discussion for another time. Right now we’re zeroing in on how to build security in a relationship without fixating on a partner’s sexual history. The focus here is on the present and how we create strong, secure connections based on trust and respect, elevating beyond using body count as a yardstick for judgment.
The point is there's more to a relationship's security than past partner counts, despite what the stats might say. Others here are already digging into how trust, respect, and compatibility are key. If you're not on board with exploring that, I’ll have you bow out of this part of the discussion, especially since you called me a liar in your other comment. I don’t tolerate disrespect so this ends when I said it ends.
To know that we are in it together, no matter what. She should be working hard and defending the household as I would be.
This question is very similair vice versa.
(Women, what would it take for you to feel secure in your relationship WITHOUT knowing a man body count? )
To be honest, I dont think most men just can't be helped. Its in it within them to decide wither is worthy or not to stay. Everyone is quite different.
For me though, be extra hygenci and play innocent (dont play the super experience sexpert I would imagine that would kill the foreplay)
(say that I am the best there ever was in bed, and trash on previous exs say they never made you climax and were terrible in bed. Make that into foreplay. lol )
I feel like prostitutes have probably stop more wars. I am pretty sure any of these incels if there were given a free deal at any of these prostitute to talk to them and give them a "freebie" they would totally be down for it. This whole "she is tainted goods act" is completely garbage. Like learn to recycle.
Also what is the reason she has such a high number? If she is just sleeping just for sleeping around, like that is a red flag. Because she knows she can get it and she prioritized the wrong or just not that same ideals that I would prioritized.
If she in love with the previous exs then sure but what ae the reason for the break up. She should focus on those reasons and tell those reason to the boyfriend to ease his insecurity.
Honestly both men and women should be guarded about who they touch. Relationships are very risky a bad girl can seriously destroy a guy as well.
No male in his right mind would proceed in a relationship with any woman if he didn't know an accurate and true body count , it's absolutely vital information.
If she's been too much of a SLUT ( or otherwise ) even if it's past , he must know to even consider a serious scenario with her.
An absolute for certain.
I think body count is an important things to know. Personally I'm asexual and am not interested in relationships, but I can still understand how men wouldn't want to be with a woman who has been run through by multiple men until she is essentially used goods so to speak.
Then those women should stay single
Good luck with that 🤣
Good for you
Right. They'll end up believing they're entitled and should be put on a pedistal and when the man attempts to get onto that pedistal with her she'll kick him off into the mud
I have adhd I can't stay focused 🤣 in any case, not all women are stupid enough to take any of your "coaching" advice. Those who do are already shitty women to begin with
Sexuality is only one of several factors in my relationship/s.
But where information is not given, imagination may add it. Conclusions from speculation aren't reliable ---
and so "security" will suffer.
As a result, I will secure my "security" from my own side.
Simple, she has to submit and adhere to my boundaries:
Women like to use "the insecurity" as a reverse psychology to shut men down. But this has nothing to being insecure. Its a preference and most real men would not prefer not to marry free prostitutes. It's a potential mother for the kids and a wife they'd have to introduce to their family. What are the likely chances that she slept with a relative or a friend. Just my honest opinion. Don't attack it with some feminist or simpy low life b. s
Everyone has the right to preferences, but referring to women with pasts as “free prostitutes” is where preference might cross into judgment, which is exactly what we’re not tolerating. The core issue I’m raising isn’t about how many men a woman has slept with, but how we see and treat people and how we can build healthy relationships based on respect, without any judgement.
It's not necessarily insecurity to have preferences, but it's worth examining why they’re held, and it’s already been revealed in this thread l, as it often is when I raise this issue, that some men do struggle with feelings of inadequacy in comparison to other men a woman has been with.
Try and read my response with an open, unbiased mind.
It's generic, so no one specifically is being judged. And i clearly stated who men prefer not to marry. This means a specific type of females fall into that category, and it also indicates that outside of those types of promiscuous females, men don'thave any issues.
Therefore, unless you fit into that category, then your view as an asker should be neutral. That is if you want to learn about men from men. Hence, you're asking this particular question.
In terms of tolerance, forced narratives aren't tolerance, and noone cares who tolerates what. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. You can tolerate what you like in your personal life.
And it'd be absurd to make such a statement such as "without judgement." When the topic is relationship. Everyone uses their experiences and instincts to judge who's right for them and who's not. Hell your gender is worse for it...
Again, you're asking a question to learn about the opposite sex and who knows about men more than men themselves. If you're going to change tactics and put it down to a patronising "judging" statement such as "men struggle with inadequacy," at least be honest with yourself. Do men really feel inadequate compared to men they don't know. That is an oxymoron. Do men really compare themselves to other men? 😂 You and I know well enough that those characteristics belong to women. Just shows how little you know about men. Now, let's not judge a the opposite gender and stay free to make our choices. I choose who I marry. You choose who and how many you sleep with. But take accountability. If women gonna do it and eventually hide or be ashamed of it, then they know for a fact that it's their shortcoming, not men's
there's a fine line between using judgment to find compatibility and using it to uphold stereotypes or diminish others. The idea that one gender inherently judges more or feels inadequacy more acutely than the other doesn't hold up under scrutiny. Men are well known for measuring their dicks to the men who came before them, strangers or not. Both men and women are capable of feeling insecurity and making comparisons, just as both are capable of growth.
The focus on accountability should be applied with compassion and understanding, recognizing that everyone has their journey and lessons. Remember that accountability is for each person to navigate on their own, not on anyone else’s timetable.
Your choice of words doesn't mean what you're trying to say. In fact, it just shows how much arrogance breaths through you when confronted with factual truth. In simple terms, practice what you preach or humble yourself. If you asked the question out of curiosity to learn about men and what they think, put your biased opinions aside and learn about men. Instead of trying to act like a scholar on a matter outside of your control and nature. I do understand that you're also triggered by my early response, hence your defensive responses, but you ask a question to men, you have an answer from one of the real one.
The fact of the matter is that everyone is judgmental when making an important decision, such as choosing their life partner, whether you like it or not. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and as strangers, no one owes you to pattern their opinion to suit your narrative.
What you think you know about men, so you mentioned above just show the type of men you know and surround yourself with, which shows you more. The more you use silly attributes of boys to paint men, the more you show people that you made a lot of wrong choices in men. which, in a nutshell, explains your defensiveness and biased opinions and arrogance.
Lastly, if you're going to quote accountability, keep in the context that it was used. Instead of just waffling some b. s to suit your bias narratives.
The intent of my original question was less about me learning about men and more about challenging men to think deeper about themselves. It's rooted in my work with coaching clients, where these themes frequently emerge. The goal is to nudge towards introspection about what truly creates a sense of security in a relationship beyond superficial (body count) metrics. Security stems from more than just past partners. It stems from trust, communication, and respect. How, then, do we foster that security? That's the crux of the discussion I aimed to open up here.
😆 Good one. Throughout this conversation, you've changed tactics numerous times, you went from attempting to shame men for women's bad choices to an attempt to patronising men about women's past, to attempting to condensend men about what women deem men insecurity, to body shaming and finally to blame shifting and claiming to be a professional.
The issue you have if this is a professional career, you persue and not another tactic to deny accountability is that in this particular field, you're financially beneficiary, unethically on the basis of how you approached the top so far. As a result, men are being "milked" every day under the fake umbrella of fake qender equality 🙄.
In a nutshell, Pehaps you should challenge women to sleep with fewer guys. Hence, they're the gatekeepers for sex , and then men will contempate marriages more being the gatekeepers for marriage. But that is in an ideal world. Unfortunately, we live in the real world where morals were flushed down the drain, premisciouty is embraced as freedom of choice and the route to a deluded sense of independence.
Let’s just say I'm all for quality over quantity. And by quality, I mean guys who don't come with a heavy load of judgments, entitlement, or control issues. Guys who don't sit around holding court over someone's past as if they're entitled to a saint.
I encourage women towards relationships with men who respect boundaries, who know the value of respect, and understand that a her past is not open for scrutiny. So if we're trimming down the list in any way, let's just say we're opting for fewer of the judgmental, entitled, and “I demand a virgin” kind of guys.
Another bias repetitive response. That ego of yours is immensely inflated to want to have the last word 😄 perhps you're starting to like me. Pft. But you sound like you belong to a wave of females who pick and choose when they want quality over quantity after a number of years of being premiscious 😆. And if that is not the notion of being entitled, then you seem to be oblivious to it but it's ironic for you to be deluded and try to turn the table around to guys who have standards and misconstrue it for entitlement. Women usually surround themselves with idiotic butt kissers who argee with any absurdity to be validated back, and the result is unbelievable delusion.
However, the truth is the contrary. Guys/men do and will have a choice and are allowed to have standards. Whether feminists like or not.
And again. Your choice of words doesn't reflect on honesty, and the narrative you're trying to force shows real degeneracy.
As an adult, as a professional, you've confirmed, you can tell your client what you wish, but you're feeding them a false paradigm and setting for failure to feed into their ego and that itself is what the entitled culture is about. Respect is earned, not a given. Respect your bodies don't just give away to nobodies and be ashamed to disclose that to a life partner. Men don't take used good unless they're fools.
Well don’t get too excited, I'm replying to everyone here, when I have thoughts to their comments. 😆
My casual dating days in my late teens to early 20s, before settling down, weren't about racking up numbers. It was a time of fun, exploration, and getting to know different types of guys. My husband knows about this, but he’s not concerned about knowing a specific number because he knows it’s an insignificant figure. That period was invaluable for figuring out what quality in men really means to me and my husband understands this too.
Absolutely, guys (and everyone) are allowed to have standards. But those standards need to swing both ways. If a guy's standards are sky high, but he's not meeting them himself, or worse, he's quick to judge or weaponize honesty, then yeah, he's probably going to find himself on the “thanks, but no thanks” list. Smart women know their worth and won't settle for anyone who treats their transparency as a flaw.
There was no excitement 😂 that was sarcasm. Your husband probably cares but won't tell you because women of premiscious past are known to marry average, yes, mam type of guys who they can control with sex and mind games. And guys' standards never are high. You'll never find a guy who demands too much from women other than what has always been standard in society. Be traditional, be respectable, and be loyal and comply with good family values. A healthy family is the result of these standards. There is a fine line between transparency and having morals. I could go and meet a porn star who actually immorally makes a living out of being smashed by numerous males. Just because it's a job or she is honest about it. Doesn't make her a housewife. And I know 😂 I know you'll justify premisciuity until you're blue in the face. Because you're a woman. Women blame anything for their bad choices, but themselves and society pushes them to feel empowered and makes it seem like some type of freedom, but it's called selfishness and nativity when a person just live for themselves and noone else around them and let themselves be a commodity for others for profit.
The difference between an animal who eats, sleeps, defecate, and sex in the wild and human should be consciousness and morals. In the absence of those two, you're no different from a pig who defecate and eat their own facies.
I never ask.
If they wanted to tell me that is fine, and if someone asks me, I let them know not to ask a question if they aren't prepared for the answer, and if they want to know then I will let them know my best guess.
We all have a history of some sort, esp as we get older.
I was single by choice for quite a bit of my life, but still had "fun".
It's funny how guys want or expect to be with a virgin, but they themselves have a high body count.
Do you see no difference of values between a woman who thinks a random man can go inside of her and a woman who thinks only her beloved man should be intimate with her?
Values vary widely among different people, and it's important to respect that diversity. Some people view intimacy as something to be shared exclusively with a significant, committed partner, while others have a more open or different approach to their sexual lives. Neither perspective inherently indicates a person's worth or the depth of their capacity for love and commitment.
Of course it does. Even your response proved my point. You did make a good point why guys should care about women's views on sex when it comes to dating.
You said "Some people view intimacy as something to be shared exclusively with a significant, committed partner"
See? How this value of women matters to men who want serious monogamous rlationships with a woman.
You yourself gave the answer to the question that has been bothering you for so many years. "Why do men care about women's body count?"
Think about this.
Why would a woman choose not to sleep around?
How many reasons can you list?
I said *some* do, and also some don’t. You see, asking a question about body count (the number of sexual partners) and asking a question about one’s values are two completely different things. This is part of why so many people fail in relationships: they don’t properly communicate or articulate what they really want to ask.
My husband doesn't know my body count, and we have been together 9 years. Not all men are that petty or insecure.
Did he ever ask?
Genuine attention affection.. n involvement... as long as I feel u dig me.. you got me.. n ur proud of it.. u got to just hold us in high regard.. with out faking or overdoing it
.. you your self have self guided desire to maintain boundaries around other men..
.. if we're not up to par.. drop. out sooner than later.. hi. body count says.. she's cool to dip when ever for what ever...
But just as easily be the best times ever.
As long as she buries the bodies who would really know...
Meaning no stragglers living on her porch or under the deck or just above level in the parking garage.. or honest true story... he won't move out.. wanna fuck on on the couch so he gets the message.. i was gonna.. but dude turned out a bit more jacked than she described..
The gentleman in the photo should count as three bodies.
Yeah, I know. It's an odd picture choice by g@g. Maybe AI Bot picked it?
LOL I saw the photo and was like, this guys fucked
Nothing. And caring about your body count doesn't make men insecure. Pair bonding issues and the ability to actually love a man decreases the more and more men have been inside a woman. Women aren't meant to just be sleeping around. Neither are men but it effects women a little more because a lot of problems arise due to having a high body count
If that is something so important to him, it's time to dump him and find yourself a better person.
What is important is they don't have transmittable, sexual diseases. Assuming she doesn't have a sexual disease, a high body count (if that is the case) could be a plus. They may be very aware of what they like and don't like sexually. And if they can communicate these preferences to their partner, their partner can ensure a good sexual experience for them...
On the other hand, a high body count could be an indicator of other problems (e. g. bipolar disorder).
I guess it does matter because it is associated with other potential problems. So my advice is... just work on everything else about you. Body count is just one data point.
I mean, from the little I've experienced: as long as she knows what she wants and as long as she trust me and the relationship we are building/or build, then it's all alright for me. However if I don't feel there is reprocity or an appreciation of who I am, I am out.
m nothing really...
I've never had to feel insecure about any of that
I am secure already. I don't care about her body count. She doesn't care about mine, why should I care about hers?
As to answer the question, I just look how she behaves and treats others, and how she behaves with me.
A consistent trustworthy, respectful and polite behavior shows she's a good person.
The only thing i would care about was if she was being safe about it. The guys wore protection abs no stds. Aside from that I genuinely don’t care about body count
I don't care two shits about her body count before she meets me. The only thing that matters is what we agree to after we meet.
That's a security that should have developed within myself before I start a relationship not after.
Fuck that? You don't want to tell me your body count? What do you need to hear me say to not like me anymore?
That's a delicate relationshil
Wait, what? Didn't we just have a thread about the most asked questions on G@G?
The fact that I'm really good in bed makes me pretty confident.
I've never asked for a body count, that's not going to change my level of feeling secure either way.
There is no other way.
Being secure in a relationship isn't about feelings. It's about trust. And you can't trust a woman who has had multiple dicks inside of her.
Whoops. Guess there’s some questions I missed here. Well, you said there's no other way, but if you read the thread, Juxtapose, who says he doesn’t care about body count, mentions he evaluates a woman’s consistent and loyalty over time. GoodmanDave talks about how he’d look at her other lifestyle choices, Lionman95 talks about how he would look at a woman’s behavior towards him and other people, lliam says it’s the way she behaves as well as her ethics and values and how she demonstrates her loyalty. These guys seem to have figured out these other ways.
@MzAsh Okay- let me be more specific; sorry. You gave examples of different guys' thought processes when they're thinking through a situation internally. And I appreciate that. But that wasn't what I was talking about. What I meant is how have the couples figured out how to bond with each other and see each other as permanent partners and make permanent commitments and keep them? (I hope that makes sense!) I'm talking about the dynamic collaborative process between two partners.
I dint fo casual sex. Period.. So if she has engaged in it my interest would be zero. It's not as much about body count as how she treats sex. And those that are okay with casual sex I'm simply not going to be interested in.
Goddamn auto correct.. I don't do ***
Basically it's a, values thing, a woman who engaged in casual sex doesn't share the same values as me.. And for the record, including my wife, I have been with 7 women, and I started dating 24 years ago. I see men and women both the same way when it comes to casual sex, I see them as nasty, not good spouse material. And statistically the greater the body count the less chance of a successful marriage.. Im not interested in becoming a statistic.. And it's not insecurity, that's a fun word that worthless pieces of shit throw around when a man has preferences like mine.
Sorry this is something that I just don't back down on. And for the record, I'm happily married, 10 years together 12. That is better than most marriages from people my age.
I've never asked any woman I've dated what her body count is.
Body Count is history, what matters is how i feel for and with her.
Her personality tells me everything I need to know about her. I could care less about her body count.
I honestly couldn't care less. For me, it's less about body count and more about when was the last time there was a body that wasn't me.
People shouldn't have sexual history. Women like that don't exist to me in a dating sense. Premarital sex for that matter doesn't exist to me either.
So you're saying this body count question is a trick question men use in a similar fashion how women ask men "do i look fat?".
I never know my woman's body count. Mine is pretty high so I avoid the topic at all costs!
You should be open about it some guys will not mind, and some will. There can be a mismatch of values, sexual experience, expectations from sex, and insecurities. Those things can blow up in the future.
Have her take a blood test. I don't know.
I wouldn’t be with a woman in the first place if she had a history of partying though.
A blood test? Are you talking about health concerns? That’s something valid to be concerned about, and a blood or std test is entirely necessary to ask for of there are questions.
But on the other hand, most people have some partying history. Of course, it doesn’t always ask to result in nasty diseases. It’s human to want to experience life in varying ways. If they don’t, the urge comes towards middle age and that will be bad news if there’s marriage and kids involved. Trust me, you’ll want her to have sowed a few wild oats and have it be in her past rather than something she faces while you’re married.
Yeah no thanks. A girl with a sexual history is hardly anything positive regardless of whether or not there’s stds involved
That is totally false. I don’t even have a history. Tf does that even mean?
I’d rather not touch a girl sexually that’s been in contact with other guys.
Fcking no thanks.
Well it seems your attitude might have a rich history all on its own. If your approach to relationships is as exclusive as your tolerance for a woman’s past, then perhaps that's the history worth examining.
But hey, if steering clear of anyone with experiences is your jam, more power to you. We're clearly not on the same page here, so let's just agree to disagree on this one.
Its just a total nonfactor for a relationship.
Why should I get with a girl who has a ton of baggage, when I could get with a virtuous girl who shares my values, philosophy and general mentality instead?
Aligning on values, philosophy, and mentality is important, and it's great you recognize that. However, Im wondering how your attitude and outlook on this topic might come across to someone who is virtuous.
Would a woman who embodies the virtues you admire be attracted to a viewpoint that seems to carry a bit of hostility towards others past experiences?
I can assure you that there are many socially conservative women that view things the exact same way I do.
Time. Location.
I’m busy in college virtually all the time. And I’m living in my hometown which is very small. Coupled with the culture here
My most recent?
body count has not much to do with feeling secure.
are you asking for why i think this is the case? or are you asking why i'm saying it? because the reason i'm saying it is very mundane. simply cause i think it's true.
ok. so i think the best way of making my point is by asking you: do you have expectations in men. like do you want your future partner to be a certain way and not a certain other way?
Ok and can you imagine having an intend that is not related to security?
Because it seems like every time a woman talks about why a man may not like her, she automatically wants to make that his shortcoming by framing it as insecurity or whatever negatively connotated thing. Like are there legit and submitted reasons for a man having a preference in your mind? Just asking cause the source you quoted doesn't.
*Dignified reasons. My phone keyboard made up some bullshit again xD
It would take a miracle, bnut since you are going to lie about it anyway, I will take solace in that. Say a low number when you lie.
That's like test driving a 10 year old car after looking for a new one at a dealership. That anomaly doesn't exist.
A high body count is hot for me, I also love the thought of her playing around and me acting like I have no idea,,,
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