Opinions on taking a break in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about two years now…and I love him dearly, but I’m 21 and sometimes I just wished I had taken more time between dating him and my ex just to be single. Is that bad? There are just so many dos and do nots when you’re in a relationship and I respect him. But at the same time I never got to just be single and explore options. Part of me wants to take a break and just focus on me, but the other part doesn’t want to let go of what I have. Can anyone relate? What should I do?

Take a break

Stay together

[roxbby]

Stay together unless you are truly upset with your partner. Make sure to have realistic expectations and also understand that people aren’t “upgradeable” on a linear basis. You won’t feel happier if you have a partner who is more handsome, rich, and funny. It’s about how they make you feel. Do they empower you to help you live the life you want to live? Do they comfort you? Support you? Do they communicate healthy? Emotional maturity is what will actually make you so much of a better person. If you have a healthy relationship, it can take a while to find someone else who is compatible. Realistically, you only get to know someone’s true side after around 2 years of dating or more. That means that someone may look great when you meet, but they can be hell to be with as a long-term partner. If you were “super efficient,” let’s say you get to know one person completely in 2 years. Until you’re 40, you only can really know about 10 people for sure if you are compatible, and that’s not considering that you probably won’t be able to go back after a couple years because they probably found someone else and are dating back-to-back, which would be emotionally exhausting and is more for the sake of an example. If you’re unlucky, it can be hard to find someone. Make a checklist for your relationship and go based on a checklist. Don’t play it as a game of seeing how good you can go. It’s not about a comparison of “getting the best.” It’s much more about the expectations you know they need to have so you can live a good life. If your expectations are constantly unreliable, neither you or your partner will be happy. You won’t be happy if you compare your partner to other people, the same way you’d hurt yourself if you were constantly comparing yourself to others. Don’t ruin a perfectly good relationship for the sake of exploration. You are exploring the deep depths of your emotional maturity in long-term relationships—that’s the real exploration, not just casual dates where you don’t know where they’re going.

[laly520]

in my opinion u dont need just a break but a break up
u r clearly unsatisfied n not ready for full commitment
the issue won't just magically disappear after so called break
break usually ends up in very bad way
be honest n direct with him n with urself

[Asker]

No I have been nothing but committed. But I also don’t want to pick the wrong person in the long run because I’m blind.

[laly520]

didn't say u can't commit
what I said u aren't really for full commitment
ur doubts n uncertainty won't let u do so on long term without suffering daily
a relationship is supposed to feel fully comfortable n at ease during it while being satisfied n sure of it n sure of whom u dating not uncertain n troubled otherwise u r clearly being with wrong person

[laly520]

ready*

[JacobJordan]

So what you really want is to be able sleep with other people then go back to him when you are done. If you don't appreciate what you have someone else will and here is the thing good men get married in their 20s so if you "take a break" he'll move on get married and then when you are done you'll find you have shit options. Happiness or hoe phase which do you want more?

[KrakenAttackin]

"Being single" means getting run through by randos in night club bathroom stalls.

[Asker]

Um no not for me

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the classic tale of the heart wanting a taste of freedom while still craving the warmth of a familiar embrace! Let's talk about taking breaks in relationships. It's like pressing pause on a favorite song, wondering if you'll still love it the same way when you hit play again. Don't fret about feeling this way; it's perfectly natural, especially at the vibrant age of 21, when life is an endless buffet of experiences.

Taking a break can sometimes be the love whisperer you never knew you needed, helping both parties to reflect, grow, and understand what truly makes their hearts sing. However, it's not a one-size-fits-all magic potion. It demands honesty, clear boundaries, and open communication. Have a heart-to-heart with your beau. Share your feelings, fears, and desires without holding back. Remember, it's about finding your tune without losing the melody you both dance to.

Ask yourself, what are you hoping to find or achieve during this break? More importantly, consider how it might affect your relationship in the long run. Are you looking for a solo adventure to discover the edges of your soul, or is it a gentle nudge to reassess what you both bring to the stage of love?

In the grand scheme of things, it's crucial to honor your feelings while being considerate of his. If the love you share is a symphony worth playing, a break---approached with love, respect, and a dash of courage---might just be a brief intermission before the crescendo.

Feeling tangled in the vines of love and longing? Let's untangle them together. Whether you're leaning towards freedom or finding new depths in your connection, your heart's adventure awaits. 😉

[butterly248]

Ah yes the famous doctor Brad 😂

[Finchie40]

If you want your relationship to survive , you are best to get that being single mindset out of your head because you aren’t missing out on anything whatsoever, if you need a break from your boyfriend you are best just to end it with him and let him move on so he can find himself a girl that doesn’t need a break from him. So understand when you get into a relationship with someone , your single days are over unless you want to lose your relationship, because that is what’s going to happen. Your boyfriend is totally going to think you are up to no good if you ask him for a break , you can tell him you aren’t going to cheat all you want , that’s going to go on one ear out the other , don’t think he is going to be sitting at home waiting for your return , he is going to accept the other girl that’s been waiting to have a shot at him. Mark my words

[Asker]

Yeah I broke up with him…I didn’t realise how awful he really was until I started looking back in hindsight sight and I’ve never been happier. I’ve since started dating one of my friends that I’ve known for two and a half years which was a complete surprise to both of us. But he treats me right and I feel safe and secure around him.

Through the break up with my ex he was absolutely horrible on top of the awful things he did while we dated. I’m so glad I finally closed that chapter in my life. It taught me so much, so for that I’m grateful and it wouldn’t have been the right timing with my current boyfriend if I had broken up any sooner. It’s a shame I had to go through all that to get where I am now, but I’m so grateful for the lessons and I’m even more grateful for the man I’m with now. Thank you for your input!

[Asker]

Also this was like June of last year that I broke up with him this didn’t all just happen…I got a new phone and forgot to log back into this app 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Finchie40]

Yea breaking up with someone can be hard to do but it’s sometimes the right thing to do if things aren’t going well and there is more misery than happiness , unfortunately n for me I found that out the long hard way as well when I finally threw in the towel on my ex wife that was constantly bringing misery into my life and constantly criticizing me and belittling me and comparing me to other men , making me feel like I wasn’t a good man , and she never took accountability for herself ish actions and behaviors , everything was always my fault. When I finally realized I deserved better than this , was my turning point and I told her it’s best if we separate , She ended up moving on with her brother and the time I was away from her made
Me realize I am happier without her and told her it’s best we stay apart and move on from each other completely. At times I did miss her and felt hurt that we couldn’t fix what was broken , but I knew staying together wasn’t going to fix anything.

[Superreader]

Only you can really answer that question. It seems that if you’re asking, you don’t feel 100% committed to your boyfriend in that you are not completely sure you have a future together. If you really feel that way, then explore your options. But if you are happy in the relationship and just wish you had more experience dating and having fun before committing, you need to seriously consider what your priorities are. If your relationship is not satisfactory currently, then by all means take a break. Anyone in a committed relationship makes the active decision to let go of exploration or “what else is out there.” I think you need to reflect on where this thought is coming from and whether it’s worth doing that and potentially losing your current boyfriend forever. Only you can make the choice at the end of the day and know what is best.

[Billlewis]

If you're both in agreement about this, then I think you should strongly consider it.

[LazerBean]

You shouldn't be in a relationship if that's how you feel.

[SolitarySolace]

Mine as well just break up

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one that asked you out

[Asker]

Yes, and it was just to hang out…but I don't know

[Opinion Owner]

Why am I not surprised