I think taking breaks can be effective and important for some relationships, not all.
My experience with taking breaks never worked. I just think that it’s best to either cut off contact and break up completely, or stay together and communicate to work things out. I think taking a break is just a free pass to meet other people while having you on the line when they want to be committed again. I see it often.
Taking breaks in order to see other people seems terrible to me and with a very low likely hood of getting back stronger and better than before.
That said, I did take a break from my wife when she was just my girlfriend, and that was because I was promoted to become a lead engineer for a project with a deadline that seemed almost hopeless (set by the marketing team). I was putting in over 120 hours/week then (working on weekends as well) and even when I tried to meet her, I was so distracted with my work and looking out for my team that I could barely talk to her. I was so lost in my thoughts and couldn't register what she said to me over dinner.
So I told her about this new job position and all the responsibilities and asked her if we could take a break from dating for just 8 weeks (our deadline) until we shipped our product. But I also told her she's the dearest person to me and I just have to get through this hell and then I'm down to go on dates again.
She understood well enough and allowed me that break to concentrate on my work. When we finally shipped, I was so happy and not only dated her back-to-back but I also invited her to live together with me in my apartment. Then a little over a year later, I married her.
I think that sounds extreme to most people to value work this much but I was never promoted to a leadership position before, and I was just in my 20s leading a team of engineers mostly in their 40s and beyond. I was navigating whole new ropes. Taking that break did manage to not only ship against near-hopeless deadlines though but I won a Siggraph Silver Edge award for my contributions to the industry together with my team. I don't regret it at all and thankful that my now-wife understood how important it was to me.
I have never been in this situation before so I do not have experience with it.. but I know that if we ever needed a break it would be cause things are just not working out, and this, would be a last attempt to try and make it work...
to me it would feel like forcing a situation, that it is not happening naturally... or it could mean that things went wary and deteriorate till a point in which stopped working... so, both of those things are not something I would to let happen at all... not to reach that point, ever
in my experience at least, relationships do take work yes... but it should be minor work, on the little things and adjustments that are needed to make it easier and better, but... if the work is hard and feels like a struggle you cannot keep with therefore need a break, then no... that's not a healthy relationship, and that's not a strong core of a relationship, it is something else
This should have included a poll to see the statistics of choices.
Im not a fan of them. More so since with my relationship style, the amount of time away would probably mitigate ever having the urge to take a break. Since I would not like to spend every day with my partner. I do not want to see you in my house every day unless you're paying rent. Go get a hobby and come back and tell me about it in a day or two. I like my space. Probably too much.
Age probably plays a role in making the decision to take a break. If you haven’t yet reached a point of commitment to each other, perhaps it could be a good choice. If you are involved in a relationship that would be considered a committed relationship: living together, sleeping together, somewhat dependent on each other for rent and other expenses, I think taking a break means the relationship is headed toward ending in one person’s mind.
It’s not a break. It’s a break up. You’re seeing other people. You’re not going to get back together. It would just cause one of the two taking said “break” to hope that the other doesn’t find someone else while on said “break” and they almost always do. Then the arguments and broke hearts come. Just don't take breaks. If you want a break just break the fuck up. They're not gonna wait for you. They don't love you if they want a break. That's just a cheap way of saying I want to see other people and I want you to accept it.
I mean, “different strokes for different folks” is something that I’m agreeing more and more with as I grow older.
Especially when it comes to sexuality and intimacy.
Can breaks work? Yes Are there extensive sources or research papers on this to give us more of an objective answer? No, I don’t think so.
For me, it can work but it depends on the specific stipulations.
Also, if I trust this woman enough and if she trusts me.
If there’s honesty and trust in a relationship, then a lot of things can work just fine. The thing is, I don’t think a lot of people take the time to really establish this strong base of trust.
Without a good base, everything else will fall apart sooner or later.
My thought is this, if we want to be together, and we just need some time apart. Why would we need to "take a break"?
Sounds like an excuse to go mess with someone else, and not feel guilty about it. You can just say, lets spend a few weeks apart, we are still together, but we need this. Then when you come back together decide then.
But no, people want to go find someone else they can move on with, and then if that doesn't work, they always have this person on stand bye. Breaks are bullshit.
It's a breakup. You have no more claim on someone when you "take a break". Taking a break either means that the couple is unable to communicate, or they want to try out other relationships while hedging their bets in case they can't find someone better.
Makes no sense to me. You don’t need to “take a break” to spend some time away from each other if you’re having issues. If you feel the need to take a break from the relationship, then that relationship obviously isn’t right for you and you should be permanently ending it instead of “taking a break”.
Unfortunately I think taking a break is a excuse people use for a free pass to see what else is out there, in the minority I think it can be a good thing to have if you feel torn between loving someone so much, but you feel your loosing yourself and need to get back in touch. I think that could be a really valid reason but it’s less common for sure.
Is for sure I'm not a fan of taking a break It's just like a job you go there to fix something and you don't leave until it's fixed When I hear the line my girlfriend wants to take a break but my boyfriend wants to take a break when I just tells me that they are done they're over it and they want to move on it might not be true but that's the way I see it in the long run
No point. A break just means death to the relationship. If you wanna break up then let's say after a year of just been friends finally got to a place were you both still actually wanted each other and got over some stuff then go ahead but don't act like it's not a break up and that you have to commit to the person when your both not together.
I would never see the need myself. I’ve always waited until having a strong connection before getting into a relationship in the first place. Always been open. Little to no effort.
Maybe it’s a thing for people who settle and never really fully connected? Aren’t open and honest with each other? I think it would be damaging to take a break. You can either work things out or maybe it was never meant to be.
So my current almost ex boyfriend (long distance) has mental health issues and decided to take a break but just from talking, I was still his girlfriend we just weren't talked so he could make sure I didn't date anyone else (thats a reason he is an almost ex) I think for some relationships it's healthy to be away from your SO but for others its just an excuse to get laid.
I'm thinking that if you feel like you need a break from a relationship, it's a strong indication that the relationship isn't healthy. I don't think people that are married for decades take breaks.
If a break means taking some personal time for yourself, doing sn activity your SO doesn't participate in, I don't think that's a problem.
"taking a break" is literally a cheap excuse to sleep around without consequence. That said, I think it's perfectly healthy to factor in periods of alone time into a relationship. But if you need a few days to yourself, you cab simply state as much, without the whole theatrical display of "going on a break".
Taking a break is just an excuse for one partner to cheat on the other without feeling guilty. No more no less. The last time an ex of mine said she wanted a break i kid you not she was fucking some other dude less than an hour later. I typically break up if she starts talking about taking a break.
I think if your girlfriend needs to take a break from the relationship then they have someone else in mind or are actually seeing someone behind your back that they want to leave you for but want to keep you as a back up in case things don't work out. Very common for women to monkey branch. For men it's generally an excuse to hook up with other chick's
I don't take "breaks", but control - figure out what was failed, work on myself, improve, allow the other person to do/be whatever they want, and see where both people grow, no concern to get back to the relationship, if it happens naturally so be it; I'm only focused on changing what I control within myself, never the "goal" of restoring any specific configuration of circumstance, only to progress myself, and help another if they wish to do the same.
I can see taking breaks being beneficial in very specific situations. For example, if something traumatic happened and they needed some space to deal with that and avoid taking it out on their partner.
I don't think taking a break just because you got into a couple of fights is going to fix anything. If you're really that mad, take a drive and then go back and talk it out like adults. You don't need an entire month to calm down.
Your either driving on the left or the right. Taking a break sounds like someone forcing their car in the middle. Now that will cause accidents 😂😂 make up your mind. Either your with me through the desert and ocean, or your with someone else. dnt confuse both yourself and I’
I find that the moment you begin to move backwards…it’s just a matter of time before it’s over. So don’t give the inevitable any extra momentum. And getting back together after a so called break? Disaster
"Taking a break" invariably heralds the end of the relationship, and it's not going to recover. It's one thing to dial some things back and give space, it's another thing entirely to suspend a relationship indefinitely.
In exceptional cases such a thing is can be good I think but in general and for the most part I believe that this is an end of the relationship and only postponed.
Taking a break could be valuable for certain people as it gives you perspective on the relationship and allows you to be more grateful for your partner. Its also important to define taking a break clearly so that their is no misinterpretation.
It's not a thing, you can back of at take it slower but you can't take a break. You can only break up and then you should not expect to be welcomed back.
I think that usually one requests to take a break from the relationship bcs they like someone else or js lost feelings. if they actually liked the other person they wouldn't ask for a break they would work they it. usually people use a break as in an excuse but to me by what I've seen people use it to break up and don't plan on getting back together
For me, there's no such thing in a relationship. We can't just temporarily delete someone we love from our lives and when one of the parts feel like they need that, then it's already over. Well, that's just my opinion on the matter, of course.
To me taking a break is like breaking up. If u truly care about someone u work on ur relationship. Taking a break is like saying I can't deal with ur shit and I need to deal with my own issues. Personally why even get involved if ur gonna take a break
It depends on how well the communication was going into and talking about the break. If your partner said something along the lines 'oh I need to take to take time from you' out of the blue and didn't leave concrete plans, thats a redflag.
But if your partner actually lays out a plan and species a predetermined point to reconvene, then that's much more basis for taking a break actually working
I think it's usually a bad sign because if it gets to that level something is off, and usually someone is curious what it's like on their own and no longer feels like it's worth fighting for
Most of the time this is used as an excuse for one or both partners to see other people during the break and to realize they’re better without each other.
I think that it's a red flag that the 2 people are not compatible enough to stay together, and that if you look for sex or love elsewhere while on the break, that just means you don't actually love who you were with.
Taking some time out to yourselves can be a good thing. But within the confides of knowing you both still want it to work. If you break up, for any period if time, then you're free to play the field
Never done... but i dont get any good vibe by this for some reason... and i feel like takin break is kinda way to break up eventually I don't know why but im not positive bout this idea
If you need a break, it's over. You don't get to have a break in a marriage, and since finding a life partner is the ultimate goal, if we need breaks, then it's not going to work out. I would say see ya, enjoy your break.
It's a no no for me. Simply because I feel like yes we should come back to the argument. We should be able to do things by ourselves from time to time. But I do not think taking a break would help a relationship
You summed it up pretty well. It's almost always a free pass to go find someone else while keeping you on the sidelines for if that new person situation doesn't work.
Lol nooo either they dont have the heart to tell you they want to break up or there's a good chance they just won't go back to you after awhile, even if they originally intended to
Taking a break is breaking up as far as I'm concerned. You can get back together, but you can't get too mad if the other person was with someone else in the interim.
I haven’t wanted to ever take a break in my relationship.
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Anonymous
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It's the same thing as breaking up or excuse to cheat. Most of the time if you break up with someone instead of willing to change then you maybe aren't compatible with each other enough to get back together
Is so it is very necessary for a healthy relationship to spend a lot of time without rest with someone becomes very counterproductive either due to attachment or the opposite
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