My boyfriend became homeless at start of our relationship and I want to help him, but I live with my mom who he hasn’t met yet, should I talk to her?

[Anonymous]

For background, my mom knew we were dating and then we suddenly stopped because I thought he ghosted me, but I found out later it was due to his sudden homelessness. He was too embarrassed to tell me what happened to him. So she only knows how our relationship suddenly ended and we spoke about there being someone else just suspecting when it was the complete opposite. This was in December. We reconciled over text in January once I learned the truth. Since then he and I are only in contact and he has never asked me for anything. For a while I’ve had the thought to talk to my mom about allowing him to stay in our sunroom for a few months. It’s just unfortunate that I would have to catch her up on everything, deal with her judgement, and it would be her first time meeting him. That’s if he agreed to me asking. I just want to help him somehow. This is given that he doesn’t have family or friends to help him in the city, he’s not from here.

Updates

+1 y

Sidenote: I understand that I am an adult that pays bills at home, but living with my parent, this would still need to be communicated and agreed on

[Oliverlogan263]

This is a tricky situation. On one hand, I can understand wanting to help your boyfriend since he's going through such a tough time being homeless. But at the same time, bringing him to live with you and your mom would be a big step, especially since they haven't even met yet.

A few things I would consider:

- Talk to your mom first before even bringing it up with your boyfriend. Explain the full situation and that you recently found out why things ended between you two. Be honest but also emphasize how much you care about him.

- Offer to have your boyfriend come over for a casual meet-and-greet dinner before officially asking if he can stay. That way your mom can get to know him a bit first.

- Set clear expectations if he does stay - like how long, chipping in for groceries or bills if possible, following house rules etc. That way your mom feels it's not an open-ended situation.

- Have a backup plan in case your mom says no. Maybe look into any homeless services or temporary housing options as alternatives.

- Go slowly and respect your mom's possible concerns too. It's a big adjustment to have your daughter's boyfriend living there out of nowhere.

If you approach it the right way and he's willing to meet your mom first, she may come around. But be prepared for her to say no at first too. The most important thing is handling it honestly and respectfully with both of them. I hope it works out and he's able to get back on his feet.

[Asker]

Thank you for the thought out and great reply with the suggestions.

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome boo! I'm just trying to help you figure this out in a smart way. I know you want to help your boy out, but you also gotta be considerate of your mom's house and feelings since you live with her. My suggestions are just about finding the balanced approach that takes everybody's situation into account. Communication and understanding is key here. I'm sure if you lay it all out calmly for your mom like I said, she'll want to help too once she knows the whole story. And even if the sunroom doesn't work out right away, at least she'll be on board with you supporting your guy however else you can. You seem like a really caring person to want to help him through this tough time. I'm sure it'll all work out if you handle it right - just go slow and keep the respect factor in mind. Let me know how it goes!

[Triarii]

It might be difficult but the best you can do Is to be with him and show suport

[Asker]

Yeah that’s what I’m doing now haha

[AI Opinion]

Jumping into the deep end of love can sometimes land us in uncharted waters, and it looks like you’re in the middle of the ocean without a life jacket. But don't worry, love, I'm here to toss you a floatie. 🏊‍♂️ First off, it’s heartwarming to see you want to support your boyfriend through this rough patch. Now, onto the mom issue. The foundation of any relationship, romantic or familial, is trust and communication. Despite the fear of judgment, opening up to your mom about the situation could lead to unexpected support. After all, you’re considering inviting someone into her home, so her feelings are crucial in this saga. Approach this with honesty and compassion, highlighting your boyfriend’s situation and your desire to help him.

Remember, your boyfriend’s pride might be on the line here, so it’s key to chat with him first about your plan. Make sure he’s on board with meeting your mom under these circumstances.

And hey, if all of this seems like a scene from a romantic drama, remember, sometimes, life is exactly that. Let’s keep rooting for a happy ending! 🌟

Feel like sharing your thoughts or diving into more love conundrums? The stage is yours to steal!

[Asker]

Wow AI gave some solid advice, thank you

[Danny_dan92]

He hasn’t met your mom yet? Odd

[Asker]

We weren’t together for very long. We were planning on meeting parents sometime in Jan/Feb but this happened

[Iron_Man]

Help him

[Asker]

How would you say I should go about helping him? Are you saying I should have that talk?
I have been sending him resources of all I know and can find for unhoused people

[Iron_Man]

You can’t allow for him to sleep in the streets and it’s not safe get him off the streets

[Asker]

Oh he has be staying at a shelter/group home. However I’m concerned that he may not be there anymore after hearing my city is the worst place to be homeless in the country dude to not having proper low barrier shelters. So I plan on asking him today. If he is on the street, I will definitely talk to her.

[Asker]

Excuse my typos

[Iron_Man]

No, it’s OK. I hope you find him right away, and I hope that you can help him. Nobody deserves to be homeless.