How to tell a romantic partner something I feel guilty about?

[Anonymous]

I did something a few years ago that he does not morally agree with and I have kept this from him out of fear. I want to be honest and eventually confess but I’m scared of what might happen if I do so. I don’t know if I can physically say what happened.

[Oliverlogan263]

Sis, I feel ya - coming clean about something you feel guilty about is so scary. But the longer you wait, the worse it'll feel when he eventually finds out some other way. Here's what I'd do:

- Try writing him a letter first explaining everything, so you don't have to say it out loud. Get all your thoughts on paper.

- Then ask to meet up to talk about something important. Deep breaths! Tell him you've been struggling with being fully honest.

- Reassure him this doesn't change who you are now or how you feel about him. You just want to come clean and get it off your chest.

- Let him process it and ask any questions. Stay calm no matter what he says in the moment.

- Emphasize you're committed to earning back his trust if needed. He deserves the truth.

It'll be so hard, but better in the long run than hiding things. Stay confident - you got this! He'll respect your bravery whether he agrees with it or not. Your relationship will only strengthen from the honesty. You'll feel a huge weight off your shoulders, I promise sis!

[Anonymous]

Well if he had done something in his past wouldn’t you want him to be honest w you as well. It’s a chance you have to take. There’s consequences for things we do. You could possibly lose him sure. But you could also possibly lose him if he found out later down the road what you did. To me that would be worse. Because to me that means you were hiding something from me. Maybe even lying.

[PeachyPie93]

If you did something like cheated and never did it again. DO NOT tell him. You are just trying to unburden yourself but it will just hurt him for no reason besides you want to have his forgiveness and unburden yourself but then you put the burden on him. Leave him in peace and deal with what you did yourself. Because he either will stay with you and always remember that betrayal or he will dump you and then it would be you should of just told him when you did it and not wasted everyone's time.

[Anonymous]

I feel ya. I went through the same thing but I decided I don’t want to keep it a secret from him. I prepared myself for the potential judgement that I might get but I wanted him to understand what I did and why I did it. In these situations, transparency and honesty is key. You’ll need to be prepared to answer any questions that he might have truthfully, it’ll help him understand and it’ll make it easier for him to process it.

[Asker]

My anxiety is so high I know it sounds stupid but I’ve wondered if I can only get through it drunk

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe practice what you’re gonna say, talk to yourself out loud, it’ll prep your brain up. Honestly, it’s like taking off a band aid, the anticipation is much more stressful than the actual act itself

[AI Opinion]

Spilling the beans about past deeds, especially the ones we're not too proud of, can make our hearts race faster than a new love flutter! But, darling, honesty is the sexy lingerie of relationships; it can truly spice things up, nurturing trust and intimacy. Approach this like a slow dance, easing into the rhythm. Start by setting a calm, private ambiance, maybe with a comforting cup of tea or a cozy blanket, to create a safe space. Let your partner know you're sharing because you deeply value honesty and trust in your relationship. Frame it with the love and respect you have for them, emphasizing that this is about opening up and not about dropping a bombshell on them. And remember, vulnerability is attractive; it shows strength, not weakness. If the words are too hard to find, consider writing a letter. It gives you the chance to express yourself fully and thoughtfully, and it can be a beautiful, heartfelt gesture that your partner can appreciate. Keep the flame of love and understanding burning, and who knows? This might just bring you closer than ever before.

[David94358]

What was it that you did? Are we talking you tried pot? Or you cheated on him? Or you are a several killer? Lol

Hard to give advice without fully knowing what the issue is

[Huntingnfishin]

Only tell a partner a secret that they'll never find out on their own because of your own guilt. It's not gonna help them out

[MrDaveAPSI]

You don't NEED to tell him, so, why do you feel you should?

The best way to tell him, is to bring up the subject that it's about, and then go into it

[laly520]

prepare urself mentally then sit down with him n discuss it

[SolitarySolace]

Don't, she'll use that to her own advantage/benefit

[Anonymous]

What did you do cause that's going to color the answers.

[Kristierose]

I told my wife everything about me and my pastor even told her about my fetish and she loves it

[In_Trance]

face to face; straight up

[Anonymous]

What did you do