What do you think of the financial trap of being single?

Question

Now that my 20s are over, I just can’t help but notice how all of my friends have partnered up and grew in financial stability and prosperity. It’s made me worried and admittedly bitter. I feel like the majority of people who achieved some level of security did so by entering a romantic relationship where they could pool resources, split costs of living, and start saving for big purchases down the line.

Honestly, being single has never felt so expensive, and it sucks to be so unlucky in the romance department. Not to mention how much people look down on you for not being coupled up. And don’t even get me started on how much I’ve had to spend on friends’ weddings, bridal showers and baby showers. Like damn, when is it my turn set a few thousand dollars on fire for a day and get gifts from everyone I know?

I know these aren’t reasons to get married or get into relationships, but nobody ever dropped a couple hundred dollars on cookware for me for any of my accomplishments. Nobody offers congrats for remaining celibate till marriage, no unwanted pregnancies, supporting yourself since age 20, avoiding homelessness, no exposure to domestic violence… Sorry, rant over.

Inbox · Accepted Answer

There’s a TON to cover, but I’ll keep it simple:

1. A lot of men would congrat your ability to keep your chastity, but most men would not date you because of this - have you focused on logistics when it comes to dating? In other words, you need to be around people who are willing to wait until marriage as well. There are men who are willing to wait, but they are rare and that’s why you need seek out areas/community that have those values.

2. How do men view you on your physical beauty? NOT on what your female friends tell you because women have a bad habit of assuming that women’s POV on beauty are the same as men’s, even though they have no interest in dating women themselves ironically.

3. You comparing yourself to others is natural, but use that energy to self improve and make something better of yourself. The problem is, even when people have the answers they seek, they don’t do anything about it because they don’t want to put the work in. Then, like the far leftist, feminists, etc type of morons will blame everyone else for their problems.

Strong men and women blame themselves, weak ones blame everyone else.

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

I think there is more to it than some kind of financial advantage to being in a relationship.

When you are single, you can pretty much do whatever you want, and it only affects yourself. When in a relationship, almost everything you do affects them as well as you. So you try to be a better person for them.

Couples support each other and encourage each other. That doesn't strictly mean they do it verbally. They do it just by being around each other. People motivate each other in a lot of ways. Couples do it even more so.

A couple can decide to save money to buy a house, or whatever their goal might be. If one fails, they both fail. So they prop each other up.

This is the same reason couples often do things like quit smoking together, or lose weight together.

Even having room mates that you are not in a relationship with has some of this affect. You can throw your clothes on the floor all you want when you live alone. You are much less likely to do it when you have a room mate.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's better than the financial trap of forcing a doomed relationship with someone who is in more debt than they can handle, and even though you are no longer with them, being forced to pay their debt off through divorce. Being sole provider for children from someone you no longer get along with, but are forced to communicate with them for the sake of the poor kids.
Given chances, single life is pretty sweet.

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

I don't know about it being a financial trap. Marriage can be a financial trap too, if you or your partner is bad with money. It's way more about the individuals choices than it is just their marital status. But that goes for pretty much every outcome. Nobody is forcing you or anyone else to give to/attend a wedding or baby shower, that is also a personal choice.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Sounds like you're feeling the sting of the singleton's tax, love. 😅 Let's face it, diving into the world of coupledom does seem to bring financial benefits—split rent, shared dinners, and those dreamy double incomes that seem to buy happiness or at least a decent vacation. But hey, wearing the solo badge isn't all doom and gloom; it's your VIP pass to independence and freedom. You're smashing life's challenges solo, which is no small feat! 🏆

Your accomplishments are celebration-worthy, and don't you forget it! While society is busy tossing confetti at couples, remember that your achievements are huge. Self-support, maintaining your values, and navigating life solo? That deserves a parade in my book. 🎉

As for the financial pinch? Consider it an investment in finding the right partner who appreciates your journey and resilience, rather than rushing to cash in on short-term gains. Plus, think of all the stories and wisdom you're banking for when your turn comes to throw that big, expensive party. Your narrative is unique, and frankly, pretty bad-ass. 💪 Keep lovebombing yourself with those positives, and your time to sparkle will come.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

It can be, the way I made it work is taking on more work outside my regular 40 hours a week. I also put some of that money into an investment property and made a decent return on it once I flipped-it. I then took some off the top and reapplied the rest of the funds on some other real estate deals.

Look to your strong suits, I am pretty handy so I made some coin doing renovations etc.

I am also a biologist/botanist so I made some coin doing expert witness reviews and tribunals/court work.

Levin · Answer

Being single is indeed brutal for so many reasons. Coupled up people don't realise it. Will often scoff at your living situation but financially and in many ways it makes your life twice as difficult.

All I can say are two things. Remember to keep valuing yourself. And secondly, there are often deeper reasons for the singledom. If it has persisted for some time maybe it's time to be honest with oneself and explore these.

Drew-1990 · Answer

You are not alone for one minute many feel the same way. Been single my whole life sadly have zero luck in romance. All my friends and family are married with kids. It's rough out there I'm pretty comfortable on my own financial but that double income sounds so nice. I'll never get into a relationship for that reason but doesn't mean I don't want that.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

At least you made the decision to stick to your beliefs of waiting until marriage. If when asked you would go back and do the same thing over again, you can't really have anything to complain about. One of the VERY big downsides when staying celibate until marriage though I feel, is you limit your chances of actually getting to the point of marriage!

DarkWinterNights · Answer

It sucks. I was pretty motivated when I was younger, but with this job and labor economy its not not the greatest time to pick up multiple jobs, go back to school or strive to do better at your current job. But I guess it’s better than making more and losing it all in a statically likely divorce.

Anonymous · Answer

Sucks to be you.😆

Look on the bright side. You still get to file taxes single.

And in 5 to 10 years. When your friends with kids, start leaving the nest. You're going to see half your friends getting divorced (trust me! It's going to happen). Then you'll be hearing about how they wasted approximately 20 years of thier life and don't know who they are anymore (again, trust me! It's going to happen).

Billlewis · Answer

You can still achieve financial independence. Does the company you work for have a 401k program?

Nikki1989 · Answer

Despite what the usual trolls on here will say, being single can be way more expensive than being in a relationship. Being relationship often cuts all your expenses in half.

HighValue · Answer

Why didn't you get in a relationship in your 20s when that was your best chance at finding a good partner?

Unit1 · Answer

I hear people ( especially the married ones ) keep saying, that singles are the richest ones. That's odd. I still sleep on the floor and skip meals.

exitseven · Answer

I imagine that having two incomes can really improve tour financial position but once you have 2 or 3 kids all of a sudden it's not so great

LiamJHayden · Answer

The only negative I feel is the lack of dependents at tax time, but the fact that I get 100% of my net to allocate as I see fit more than compensates for it.

genericname85 · Answer

lol how is being in a relationship "less" expensive? cause you expect him to give you money?

Anonymous · Answer

What I noticed about being single is I often waste money out of boredom, depression and even vices.

dolemite58 · Answer

Being single is only bad for women financially, guys are much better off being single. Married men are like indentured servants.

Twalli · Answer

If that desperate sign up for dating shows. It's not like they're rare.

RealMarek · Answer

Time to find house mates?

Nerdvana · Answer

Sorry, did you say you are a virgin at 30?

JayBones2469 · Answer

Lol. Another unhappy feminist

Anonymous · Answer

Get a roommate

What do you think of the financial trap of being single?

Most Helpful Opinions

Artificial Intelligence

What Girls & Guys Said