Why would a guy after 5 days of talking online say he has strong feelings for you? Can guys with real experience give me some helpful feedback please?

[Anonymous]

I can share more details in the comments if need be.

We’re both older in our 40s, and we ‘met’ on a dating app, been chatting for a few days…he’s serious about what he wants but he’s already starting to playfully say he has strong feelings for me. Is this more than likely a red flag or do guys do this when they really like someone?

[HollyK21]

To be fair, maybe he just used the wrong wording to explain how he feels. Like he could just be very interested and explained it as strong feelings. On the other hand, I know that sometimes lonely men (mainly older ones) are just too eager to be in a relationship with just about anyone decent-looking. The idea of being alone “forever” is so terrifying for some they settle, rush things along, love bomb, and other toxic routes of having a partner. All this to say, I’m not saying that his comment is a complete red flag but I would definitely keep my eyes on his behavior. Like if he’s doing the things I listed above in excess then he’s the wrong guy.

[Asker]

Yeah this is what I mean, it’s making me question it. He’s playfully trying to say he loves me and stuff.

[HollyK21]

Yeaaaah, in 5 days? I think your gut is trying to tell you this is a red flag, please listen to your intuition. It’s uncomfortable for you and a bit concerning on his end for him to be doing that.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Truthatanycost]

He doesn't know you so he has strong feelings for a fantasy. He should know better at his age but he is probably frustrated and thirsty. Redflag if you ask me..

[Asker]

That’s exactly what I said

[Asker]

Red flag for what specifically…someone who just wants a relationship but doesn’t care who it’s with…

[Truthatanycost]

Exactly. if anyone will do and that anyone is you, then it can be anyone when it's not you too.

[laly520]

he is love bombing u
red flag

[Danny_dan92]

Have you even been on dates?

[Asker]

No we’ve been talking for a couple of weeks but are due to meet for the first time in a few days…

[Danny_dan92]

That’s wild

[Asker]

Right!! Lol

[BarryLiverstone]

Have you met irl?

[Asker]

No not yet but we’ve used voice notes and videos…

[Asker]

He’s very local so will be meeting soon but I’m just a little cautious now

[BarryLiverstone]

So if he’s just flirty and not serious that’s normal. If he’s love bombing and says he’s in love.. that’s a red flag.

Which is it?

[Asker]

I think it’s the second played off as the first

[BarryLiverstone]

Then let him know your boundaries and expectations

[Asker]

I’m just not sure that even if I do that it’ll be a permenant chan