If you owe someone an apology is it disingenuous to ask how have they been before the apology via text?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Just be upfront about it, you’re trying to cover too much ground before apologizing when she may not even want to talk with you, let alone meet up so you can apologize in person. Something like ‘hey so and so, I hope this message finds you well. I know it’s been a while since we last spoke but I just wanted to reach out and apologize for xyz.’, then go on to explain how it was wrong, hope she can forgive you and let this be water under the bridge.

[Asker]

It looks like she moved on and forgave me so would an apology be necessary?

[Opinion Owner]

I would still say yes.

[Opinion Owner]

I feel like you’re being super avoidant about it but know that it needs to be done. So get it over with, so you can close that chapter of your life and not carry around all that guilt anymore.

[HateyouxD]

It's not necessarily insincere but it's pretty pointless because obviously if it's coming from an asshole... no I haven't been "good"

[Asker]

What if a person is using small talk as a path towards a conversation?
I think it would be weird to apologize out of nowhere especially if it's been years.

[HateyouxD]

No one's not going to want to hear what you gotta say other than hey I've been thinking I was a dick make it fast buddy

[Asker]

I understand but if it's been years and they moved on, does it even matter?

[HateyouxD]

Absolutely. They are probably moved on but they didn't forget

[Asker]

Definitely. Let me ask you something. If they followed you back on social media generally does it mean they are willing to reconnect?

[HateyouxD]

Not all the time. Possibly to gain more followers and or wanting to be nosy on how your life has been. But we've spoken a couple of times. You reached out and she didn't text back I'm guessing your attention is unwanted

[678987]

Yes of course she wants to reconnect, if not why following you? Maybe she is waiting /hoping for your apology and want to be with you

[Asker]

Maybe she followed me to show no hard feelings?

[HateyouxD]

Could be then why did she ignore your text?

[Asker]

I think because either she isn't interested or I didn't apologize

[HateyouxD]

You still haven't apologized? Lol

[Asker]

I still haven't. The only reason I'm still talking about this is because @678987 replied with her comment.

[HateyouxD]

But you still haven't apologized... that's the thing

[Asker]

I already said I already texted her and she didn't respond, what do I look like reaching out again and apologizing? That would do more harm than good

[HateyouxD]

Not really. You gotta make sure lol

[strawberrybaby3]

No. Get straight to the point. If you owe somebody an apology, I’m sure they’re not interested in your small talk if you did something bad to them.

[Asker]

Even if it happened years ago? What if I want to apologize in person and is using small talk to work towards that?

[In_Trance]

Cut the crap and get on with it

[Asker]

What are you trying to say?